Of Fairy Tales and DragonBalls
by Hipstergecko
Summary: This is a collection of fairytales from around the world that have been DBZ-ified. Mostly humorous in nature, but varied in categories. Funny, dark, romantic, adventurous, mysterious, and more! I've tried to hit on ones that aren't very mainstream. AND I accept requests if you have a favorite! Newest story: Darling Roland
1. The Princess on the Glass Hill

**_The Princess on the Glass Hill  
_** Based on the Norwegian Fairy tale and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Gohan, Videl, Goku, Chichi, Hercule, Goten, Bulma, Piccolo, Sharpner, Vegeta, Krillin, and Icarus.

 _ **A humorous Gohan/Videl fic.**_

* * *

 _Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a mighty warrior esteemed by all the peoples of earth._

"DAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Hercule Satan laughed. "I am the mightiest warrior ever!"

 _He lived in a large mansion with his only daughter, a princess in her own right._

"I am his only daughter." Said Videl. "And I am not a princess."

 _In the neighboring town, there lived a poor saiyan family_.

Chichi looked to her sons. "We're poor and your father is an idiot."

Goku looked up from his work in the field. "Say what?"

 _But they were happy as long as they were together._

"I'm happy, but still!" Chichi flung her broom out the door. "I used to be royalty! I need to marry off my sons to wonderful young ladies who match their royal position!"

Gohan looked over from chopping wood. "I'm right here you know."

 _The mother of the two sons was always looking for brides for them. To see that they were well off and treated with respect. However, no one ever really matched her standards._

Chichi threw her hands in the air. "No one matches my standards!"

Gohan groaned. "Mom, stop repeating the narrator."

 _One day, a similar thought appeared in the mind of the mighty warrior._

"Videl!" Hercule pointed at his daughter. "You need to get married!"

Videl shot him a glare before running off to fight crime. "Screw that noise!"

"No, I mean it!" Hercule hollered. "You are to marry the man who meets all my standards!"

 _There was no one to meet his standards in his city._

"There's no one to meet my standards in this stupid city!" Hercule exclaimed. Videl rolled her eyes, but he kept talking. "To find the perfect guy for my baby, we're going to have a little competition!"

 _But it wasn't a martial arts competition. The mighty warrior figured that there would be no one to best his strength. So he made up another test. One that he thought to be equally challenging. It was a test of strength, wit, and rubber soled shoes. The mighty warrior had a hill made of the finest glass money could buy. He reasoned that the perfect guy would be able to rescue the princess from the top of the hill, no sweat._

Videl stared at her father. "You're serious."

 _He was so serious that the very next day, he used a 50 story crane and plopped the princess on the tippy-top of the hill._

"Don't move Videl!" Hercule called cheerily from the operating panel of the crane. "You'll fall off otherwise and ruin the whole plan."

"*^$)*&#R%*&^$( #!" Videl spat profanities.

 _Anyway, the princess sat on the top of the hill of glass. It was slicker than ice, clear as the morning, and as tall as a skyscraper._

Videl rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Dad… why in the world would you think this is a good idea." She sat down, trying not to move around so much. Falling from this thing would be deadly. Even though her father put safety nets around the bottom, it was just too much of a risk.

 _Word went out across the globe. Princes from every corner of the earth came in abundance to the glass hill to see the fair princess and try to climb the hill to receive her hand._

Videl glared at the gathering mob. "WHY did he think this was a good idea!?" Who would seriously risk their life to marry someone they didn't even know? What a bunch of losers.

 _They knew that if the princess were saved, not only would they marry her, but they would also receive half of the fortune of the mighty warrior. Eventually, word of the competition made its way to the poor saiyan family._

"PERFECT." Chichi dashed inside the house to where the men sat, eating lunch. "Pack up your things boys! We're going to the city!"

"Neat!" Goten gulped down his rice. "I've never been to the city before!"

"But Chichi," Goku protested, "why do we have to go to the city? The radishes are almost ready for harvest. We can't just up and leave."

"Nonsense!" Chichi folded her arms. "We have to get a wife for Gohan."

Gohan sprayed rice in a fabulous spit take. "Mom! That's not a good reason to…"

"Abuhbuh!" Chichi forestalled any more protests with a wave of her hand. "I understand that we need to stay home and harvest radishes, but YOU need to go and get yourself that princess!"

 _And so, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family made his way to the city. Now you must know that the poor saiyan family had some interesting abilities. Super strength, speed, agility, fighting prowess, and flight. They were far stronger than the mighty warrior of great esteem. However, the eldest son was forbidden by his mother to use his powers._

"What a bunch of crap." Gohan muttered, walking towards the city. "Just because the city people might think I'm weird or something like that."

 _On the way to the city, the eldest son passed many a prince/duke/obnoxious jerk. All of which thought nothing of his poor clothes and dirt smudged face. They laughed at and ridiculed him._

Sharpner looked down from his horse and finery. He studied Gohan's poor clothes and shoes. He sneered. "What a pathetic loser. Be gone, peasant!"

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Gohan protested.

Sharpner laughed, ignored Gohan and trotted away on his rather nice horse.

 _But, being kindhearted and humble, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family did not blast them into tiny, tiny bits. Instead, he took a slight detour into the woods to freshen up. He really hadn't taken a shower before he left. He thought about how he was dressed and the condition of his hair and partially agreed with the passersby._

"I probably smell bad too." Gohan muttered as he stripped down.

 _He waded into the stream and began scrubbing off the dirt, when he heard someone clear their throat._

Gohan slapped his hands over his privates. "Who's there?!"

 _A woman, dressed in robes of flowing blue, with blue hair, appeared from the woods._

Gohan's eyes widened. "Bulma?!"

"Heya Gohan." Bulma grinned cheekily. "Taking a refreshing dip are we?"

 _The water nymph had tested the boy's heart in the water. She knew him to be pure of heart._

"Uh…" Gohan stuttered, cheeks growing red. "S-something I can help you with?"

"Yeah." Bulma crossed her arms over her ample chest. "Your mom wanted me to help you out a bit."

"Oh great." Gohan sighed heavily. "What'd she ask you to do?"

"Oh, you know." Bulma twirled her finger in the air. "Pretty you up and all that. Help you get the princess or whatever."

 _She agreed to assist him by giving him that which he needed to climb the glass hill. He only needed to do her a small favor._

"But first I need to you fight Vegeta." Bulma rolled her eyes. "He's all pouty because Goku had to stay home and harvest radishes."

"It figures." He sighed. "There's no way to talk you out of this?"

"Nope."

"Fine." Gohan glanced at the pile of clothes on the bank. "Would you pass me my clothes?"

 _The eldest son helped the water nymph out with her pouty husband problem. It took the greater part of the day to calm the furious warrior. Finally, as the sun set low in the sky, the water nymph approached him with her gifts._

Bulma looked Gohan up and down. "Wow. You really took a beating."

Gohan shrugged his bruised and aching shoulders. "You should see the other guy."

"Shut it kakabrat!" Hollered an equally beat up Vegeta.

Bulma rolled her eyes and tossed Gohan a sensu bean. "Here, eat that and then we'll get you all dolled up."

Gohan swallowed the magic owie-healing bean. "Dolled up?"

"Yeah. You can't just go to this shindig in whatever you want! A girl likes a mysterious man." Bulma pulled out a costume. "Here, put this on."

 _She gave him a disguise to hide his identity._

Gohan looked dubiously at the helmet and cape. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes. Now get dressed. That princess is probably sick of all those other jerks." Bulma strode off to tend to Vegeta's wounds.

 _Now disguised in finery, the eldest son of the poor saiyan family flew to the city. To the mansion of the great warrior. He landed just outside the town and walked in on foot, remembering his mother's warning to hide his power._

"Hey, nice costume ya freak!"

 _But no one recognized him. He felt free to use his abilities as he saw fit._

"I think I'll walk to this mansion. Flying around might give the wrong impression."

 _When he arrived at the glass hill, he saw many of the princes/nobles/pompous idiots struggling vainly to get off the ground. A few had made it a ways up the hill, but were slowly and inevitably sliding back down. A servant was riding around, handing out a sheet of regulations._

"Here you are, sir." A butler handed him a sheet of paper.

Gohan looked it over. "What's this?"

"The rules." The butler twirled his hand in the air. "You know. No aircraft, no suction cups, no glue shoes, no cutting/breaking the glass, no throwing rocks, that sort of thing."

"Oh, thank you Mr…?"

"Jeremiah. Jeremiah Sworthington."

"Thank you Mr. Sworthington. My name's Gohan." Gohan bowed respectfully. "It's very nice to meet you."

The butler stood a little straighter, hiding a pleased smile. Of all the buffoons who showed up to this silly escapade, the young masked man seemed the most decent of the lot. Though he didn't look at all like a prince.

Gohan straightened and looked back at the glass hill. "Can I ask you a question, Mr. Sworthington?"

"Certainly sir."

"Is it against the rules to fly to the princess without using any form of aircraft?"

The butler was taken aback for a moment. "I don't believe it is." He twirled his moustache thoughtfully. "You can most certainly try, though how you'd ever accomplish such a feat is beyond my reasoning. It is simply impossible."

Gohan flashed the butler a dazzling grin. "Implausible perhaps, but not impossible."

 _The butler watched as the strange disguised man lifted into the air and flew upwards towards the princess, bypassing all the other suitors. Being a man of proper etiquette, he only let on that he was slightly stunned._

"SWEET KAMI'S UNDERPANTS!"

 _The other suitors were not so verbose._

"HOLY %#&!"

 _The disguised eldest son of the poor saiyan family flew higher and higher until he reached the princess on the tippy top of the hill. The princess herself was very beautiful and for a moment, the eldest son was taken aback by her._

Gohan shook off the blush and spoke to her. "Excuse me, but are you the princess?" Gohan asked politely.

"No, but I'm the one who's on the top of this friggin' mountain!" Came the harsh reply.

Gohan winced. "Sheesh. I'm sorry I asked."

 _The princess was overjoyed to see that someone had finally reached the top of the hill._

"Who the heck are you?!"

"I'm Gohan." Gohan bowed genteelly.

"Well, buzz off!" Videl crossed her arms stubbornly. "I won't marry someone I've just met! Plus, I won't marry a cheater!"

"Cheater?" Gohan gaped at her. "I'm not cheating! Look!" He did a few summersaults and flips midair. "I couldn't do that with wires now could I?"

Videl stared at him. She then looked at the sky, muttering to herself. "I haven't heard the anti aircraft guns go off in a while…"

"Anti-what now?"

"You mean, you're really flying right now?"

"Sure I am!" He extended a hand. "Do you need more proof?"

Videl's eyes darted from the hand to the helmet. Did she really want more proof? She glanced down the sickeningly steep slope to the ground. It was better than staying up here the whole dang time. She looked back at the masked man and took his hand.

"Sure."

 _Without further ado, the disguised eldest son of the poor saiyan family gathered the princess up in his arms and flew away._

"YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!"

Gohan grinned as Videl let out another whoop. He did a triple loop the loop that time. He looked at the smiling beautiful girl in his arms. "What's your name?" He asked.

"Oh!" Videl smiled sheepishly. "I'm Videl. I guess I should've told you that first."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, why a glass hill?"

"Beats me!"

 _They settled on a riverbank as the sun dipped below the horizon. It was far enough from the mansion that no prince would know where to find her._

Videl shivered slightly in the chill of the night. Gohan took off his cape and wrapped it around her shoulders.

She shot him a look of thanks, but kept her distance. "Listen, I don't want to lead you on and while I am super thankful that you got me down from that stupid hill, I don't know you that well. You can ask for anything from my father, but I am not going to marry you."

Gohan let out a sigh of relief. "Thank kami!

"Wait, what?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing!"

Videl's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. My mom kind of pressured me into this." Gohan smiled ruefully. "I didn't really want to get married or get all that money. You seemed like a pretty decent person, so I was going to ask you about it."

"Wow! Thanks!" Videl slapped him on the back warmly. "You're a pretty decent person yourself."

"Thanks." He smiled brightly, making Videl smile herself. "I'll go get Mr. Sworthington to take you back to the mansion. I'll see you there in the morning."

"You know Jeremy? Nice!"

 _Before he left to fetch the faithful servant, the princess pressed upon him a golden hair clip which he promised to return with on the morrow to make his claim._

She pulled out one of her gold hair ties. "Take this with you, in case they need to make sure it was you."

He took it gratefully. "Thank you Videl." He lifted into the night sky, waving. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye Gohan!"

 _The eldest son of the poor saiyan family found the faithful servant and then flew home. He told the tale to his family._

"You WHAT?!" Chichi screeched.

The men in the house slapped hands over their ears. "I barely know her!" Gohan protested. "You can't expect me to force her into marriage when she doesn't want to get married!"

Chichi paused. "Hmmmm… She just doesn't know you that well. Once she gets to know you, she'll want nothing more than to make a million grandbabies with you." She turned back to the counter she'd been cleaning. "The competition rules say that you'd be married. Tomorrow you will go back to the mansion and bring that princess home!"

Gohan slapped his forehead. This was going to be a disaster.

 _Meanwhile, the princess was having it out with her father. The great warrior did not believe that such a man existed._

"Whaddaya mean he flew you down?!"

"I mean, he flew me down!"

Hercule threw his hands in the air. "That's cheating! No one is allowed to use aircraft of any kind!"

"He didn't use any aircraft Dad!" Videl glared crossly at him. "He knows how to fly!"

Hercule began to sweat. "What a pack of lies! I deny the fact that that cheater ever existed! You're going right back on top of that hill until some other guy does it!"

"You're not putting me back up there!"

 _The very next day, the princess was back on the hill. The mighty warrior added a new rule about flying and started the competition afresh. News of this fiasco made it back to the poor saiyan family._

"WHAT." Chichi trembled in anger. "That…. That pompous… blithering… foolish oaf!" She pulled out her cast iron frying pan. "I'll show HIM who's a liar and a cheater!"

"Chichi, don't do it!" Goku restrained her gently. "We just got on good terms with the city from the last time you went to the mall!"

Chichi wilted. "But… but he…"

"It's okay mom." Gohan said gently. They knew that she'd probably give Hercule permanent brain damage. "I'll just go back again today and find out what's gone wrong."

Chichi pouted. "Alright." She said. "But when we get together for the wedding, I'll have a few choice words for that man!"

 _So the eldest son of the poor saiyan family headed out for the second time to the mansion. On his way, a few other princes, being sore from nearly losing their chance at half a fortune, decided to ridicule and torment him on the count of his poor appearance._

"Ahahaha! What a fool! You think you can win the fortune?" Sharpner laughed derisively. "Yeah right! You're so poor, you need any job you can get! Here peasant!" Sharpner sneered. "I've got mud on my boots! Clean them with your tongue and I'll give you a shilling!"

Gohan stared at the muscular blond. "Uh, no."

"Too bad! You could've used the money, Nerd!"

Gohan watched as Sharpner rode away on his pony. "Nerd?"

 _As one of the overbearing jerks headed to the palace, he was accosted by a large monster._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sharpner fell off his horse, screaming. "A MONSTERRRR!"

Icarus looked at the blonde curiously. The small dragon had grown enormous over the years. He set one huge paw on the blonde's chest, effectively pinning him to the ground.

"SOMEBODY! ANYBODY!" Sharpner screeched. "SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

 _The eldest son of the poor saiyan family was heading that direction. He, using cunning and strategy, was able to save the noble from the vicious beast._

"Icarus!" Gohan shouted joyfully. He ran over to the dragon and hugged him fiercely around the neck. Sharpner was ignored.

Icarus made loud happy crooning noises. His friendly eyes closed in happiness. He licked his old friend all over the face with sloppy dragon spit.

"Ahahaha!" Gohan laughed. "Cut it out Icarus! Hey!" He patted the scaly hide. "Come on boy! I'm heading to the mansion, but I can take a quick detour with you for a while!"

Together, the man and his dragon galloped into the woods together. Sharpner was left absolutely bewildered on the side of the road.

 _Once having tamed the vicious animal, the eldest son went into the woods to rest from his exertions._

"Hey Icarus! Race you to the top of that mountain!"

 _While resting, he was approached by a giant who had witnessed him tame the beast. So impressed was the giant that he decided to help the eldest son. The giant stood well over 8 feet tall and had skin as green as the leaves._

Gohan grinned happily. "Hey Mr. Piccolo! What are you doing here?"

"Kid, your mom is throwing a fit. I couldn't stand to be anywhere near your house right now." Piccolo said, wiping purple blood from his ears. "The sooner you do this stupid thing, the better."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Gohan leaned against Icarus thoughtfully. "But I don't see how anyone is going to listen to me. I'm written off as a peasant every time I go to that place."

Piccolo nodded. "You're not threatening enough."

"Say what?"

"CLOTHES BEAM!"

 _The giant gave him a disguise in the style of his own people. This way, he could again use his powers freely in the city._

Gohan looked down at the purple gi. The cape that flowed from his shoulders was white and billowing. The turban around his head was equally white. A pair of sunglasses settled on his nose. He looked at Piccolo with stars in his eyes.

"AWESOME! Thank you Mr. Piccolo!"

"You're welcome." Piccolo dodged the impending hug. "Now get this stupid thing over with before your mother bursts my eardrums again."

Gohan nodded cheerily. "C'mon Icarus. You can come with me!" He shot off to the mansion. He needed to make up for lost time.

 _At the mansion, the princes and nobles were doggedly attempting to climb the hill. The fighting between the princes was worse than ever. The eldest son of the poor saiyan family arrived in time to see one of the most promising prospects fall from the hill with a loud scream._

He winced at the loud squealing noise of sliding down glass. Icarus had fallen behind, so he took the time to look for a familiar face. He glanced around, and with a smile found Jeremiah Sworthington.

"Mr. Sworthington!" He dashed over to the hassled looking manservant. "Good afternoon!"

"Ah… I'm sorry?" The man looked aghast at Gohan's turban and sunglasses. "Have we met before?"

"It's me, Gohan!"

"Gohan?" Recognition crossed his face. "Oh! Sir Gohan! It is a pleasure to see you again sir! I did not recognize you without the helmet and …" He trailed off tiredly. "Forgive me, but since yesterday, things seem to have gotten much worse around here."

"I noticed." Gohan glanced back at the squabbling going on around the bottom of the hill. "Mr. Satan ignored what Videl told him, huh?"

"That and I'm afraid that flying has been outlawed." He sighed. "It is hopeless. Miss Videl shouldn't have to go through this just for a husband."

"Tell me about it." Gohan frowned. "Some guys over there are using horses and tanks. Are we allowed to use transportation?"

"As long as it meets the guidelines." Mr. Sworthington allowed a small smile to cross his face. "Do you have any ideas, sir?"

Gohan smiled. "I might."

 _Remembering the beast he'd tamed earlier, the eldest son called it to his side._

"Icaruuuuuuus!" Gohan called cheerily.

The massive dragon landed next to him with a loud whoomf! Princes and dukes were sent screaming for their mommies. Even the stouthearted Mr. Sworthington wobbled unsteadily on his feet. Icarus looked at Gohan curiously. A rumbling that sounded an awful lot like a question came from his throat.

"We're going to take little trip up to visit Videl." Gohan looked up at the hill of glass. "He says we're not allowed to fly. And we're not allowed to break the hill. How about using your soft-paw technique?"

Icarus crooned his agreement. Gohan climbed up on his back and waved to the manservant. "See you later Mr. Sworthington!"

Jeremiah Sworthington waved feebly. As he watched Icarus gallop towards the hill, sending the brawlers running, a slow smile spread across his features. "Such an interesting young man."

 _He mounted the beast and easily scaled the hill, treading lightly to avoid breaking the glass. They soon reached the princess, who was once again overjoyed to see her rescuer._

Videl froze. "Holy &*#!"

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Gohan patted Icarus reassuringly. "And he's not THAT scary. Right buddy?"

Videl's eyes got even wider. "G-gohan?"

"Hey! You remembered me!" Gohan grinned widely, scratching the dragon under the chin. "This here is Icarus. He's my good friend from when I was little." Icarus crooned happily.

"I… your voice is the same, but what kind of getup is that?!"

"It's training gi. My mentor gave it to me."

"You train? Like, train to fight?"

"Yeah. I do martial arts." Gohan watched Icarus snuffle Videl's pigtails curiously. "I've been training since I was little. Dad taught me at first, but then my mentor took the reins." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Mom wants me to study, and I do enjoy it, but sometimes it's good to get out and fight you know?"

"Absolutely!" Videl grinned. "I've been training in marital arts since I was little! I even fight crime here in the city with the police force! It puts Dad in fits, but it's what I love to do!" She tilted her head to the side. "You know, we've got a lot in common."

"I guess we do." He gestured to Icarus. "You wouldn't want a ride down from here, would you?"

"Yes please!" She slid down the hill slightly to rest against Icarus's side. Gohan gave her a hand and hoisted her to the seat in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling off. Ignoring the blush he had, they started down the hill. He saw the angry mobs at the bottom of the hill and sighed. This was going to be a mess.

What he didn't see in looking down the hill, was just how bad Videl was blushing.

 _Riding the fierce beast, the princess and the eldest son of the poor saiyan family descended the hill._

They got to the bottom of the hill, but were soon swarmed by angry haters.

"YOU CHEATER!"

"GIVE ME THAT PRINCESS!"

"NO WAY! THAT REWARD IS MINE!"

"UNHAND THE PRINCESS THOU RUFFIAN!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!" Icraus let out a roar, forcing the rabble rousers back. Many of them with wet pants.

"Awww! Thanks Icarus!" Videl hugged the dragon from her seat on his back. "You're the best Dragon ever!"

 _At the bottom, the princess was turned over to her handlers._

Icarus puffed out his chest and swaggered over to Mr. Sworthington who was watching the scene with an amused face. Gohan hopped down from his dragon, turning to help Videl down. The fluffy dress she was wearing made it difficult for her to maneuver well.

Relief flooded the butler's features. "It is good to see you down on earth again, madam!"

"Good to see you too Jeremy." Videl turned to Gohan. "Thanks again for getting me down. I'm sorry about all this. Dad didn't believe me when I told him that you flew me down yesterday."

"It's alright." Gohan shrugged. "This time, there's no doubt about it."

 _Before he left, the princess gave him another golden hair clip._

"Yeah." Videl fussed with the lace on her gown distractedly. "Uhm… will… will you come and visit me tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you a bit better." She looked up at Gohan, her blue eyes sparkling in excitement. "Heck, I'd like to spar with you if you're cool with it!" She pulled out another golden hair tie. "Take this with you. Show them this if they don't let you in right away."

Her eyes caught him by surprise. Gohan took the hair tie and tried to fight down a hot blush. "Ah… s-sure thing! I can come by tomorrow. My mom won't have a problem with it I'm sure." He lifted into the air and floated up into the sky. "Bye Videl!"

Icarus beat his wings and lifted after his friend, nearly drowning out Videl's words. "See you later Gohan!" Videl called after them, waving madly. "Goodbye Icarus! Thanks for the ride!"

Mr. Sworthington watched Videl with a sly expression. Maybe this whole glass hill thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

 _Back at home, his family listened in disbelief to the story._

"He did WHAT?!"

"C'mon mom, everyone saw Icarus climb the hill. There's no way Mr. Satan would do something like that again."

"I wouldn't be too sure." Goku said around a mouthful of food. "He seems like kind of a stubborn guy."

 _Back at the mansion, the mighty warrior listened in disbelief to the story._

"A WHAT?!"

"A dragon!"

"Dragons don't exist!"

"They do too! Icarus is a real as you and me!"

"LIES! Tricks and lies! I bet it was a robot dressed up as a dragon!" Hercule slammed his hands on the table. "I decree that no vehicles, mechanical or animal should be used! The man for my little girl has to be able to climb up there with only the strength of his arms!"

 _And so, the next morning the princess was stuck back on the top of the glass hill. The mighty warrior vowed to his daughter under pain of death that this would be the last time that he would run this test. As last time, word reached the poor saiyan family about midmorning._

Chichi picked up her machine gun. "Hercule must die."

"No!" Goku held Chichi back. "Chichi, no!"

"Don't worry Goku! I'm just going to maim him."

"Chichi!"

"Alright, alright." She dropped the gun. It hit the ground with a loud bang. She turned to Gohan and pointed a finger right in his face. "You. Princess. NOW."

Gohan gulped. "Yes ma'am."

 _So the eldest son of the poor saiyan family headed out for the third time to the mansion to try and win the hand of the princess._

Gohan shouted at the sky. "I'm just going to _visit_ Videl! NOT win her hand! Or her arm or her leg!"

 _When he arrived, he noticed that the crowd of people was even larger than before. He could not get through the crowd to reach the glass hill. Despairing, he walked up the road to find a quiet place to rest._

Gohan looked at the teeming mass of bodies. Someone threw a pie and more shouting started. Sounds of cats screaming and things breaking reached his ears. "Uh, nope." He turned and walked up the road.

 _On his way, he came across a monk asking for donations. Feeling pity for the man, the eldest son emptied his pockets, giving him the last of his coin._

Gohan tilted his head at the monk. "Krillin, what are you doing?"

Krillin shushed him with his hands. "Keep it down! Look man, your mom has a long reach okay?"

"What's with the robe?"

"This is a disguise!" Krillin pulled the monk's hood lower over his face. "If someone sees me, I'll die of embarrassment. Not even the dragonballs would bring me back after that."

 _The monk was actually a djinn in disguise. Touched by the eldest son's kindness, he gave him a set of beautiful robes. The kind of robes only worn by kings. In this disguise, he wouldn't be recognizable._

"Actually, your mom asked someone higher up. I'm just a sub." He held out a set of clothes to Gohan. "Supreme Kai sends his regards."

"The Supreme Kai is in on this too!?"

Krillin shuddered. "Your mom is a scary lady."

Gohan went behind some bushes and changed into the clothes. It was the puffy pants, boots, shirt, and earrings from the realm of the kais. He sighed. "I still look like me though."

Krillin put a hand to his chin in thought. "How about if you go super? Your hair and eyes change when you do."

"Good thinking."

 _Adorned in foreign finery, the eldest son of the poor… *ahem*_ _ **Gohan**_ _left for the mansion. No one took notice of him, except to avert their eyes. He looked so intense._

Gohan watched as a more official looking prince ordered his servants to build a human pyramid. He was climbing up to the top when it collapsed under him. Gohan ignored the screams and looked around for a way through the crowd.

He smiled as he recognized the now familiar shape of the manservant. "Mr. Sworthington!"

The butler jumped. He spun around, looking into the crowd.

Gohan tapped him on the shoulder. "Mr. Sworthington?"

The manservant jumped again, spinning to face him. His eyes darted up to Gohans glowing blond hair and flashing blue eyes. He swallowed nervously.

"Yes, sir?"

"It's me, Mr. Sworthington! It's Gohan!"

"G-Gohan?!" Jeremiah Sworthington's jaw dropped. "You're… Gohan? Sir Gohan?"

"You act as though you've never met me before." Gohan led the man to a bench, sitting him down carefully. "Is everything alright?"

"It's just… I didn't expect…" The man stuttered. He really didn't expect sir blonde, blue eyed, and handsome! He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "Things have gone to chaos. Poor Miss Videl is atop that foul hill again and the nobles are becoming belligerent! I fear for her safety should any one of those hooligans reach the top."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that." Gohan reassured. "They haven't gotten more than a few stories off the ground. Besides, from what she told me, I'm positive Videl can handle herself."

"I suppose, but… Sir, would you be kind enough to rescue her once more?" The manservant looked up at Gohan pleadingly. "You are the only one I trust not to do her harm." His head drooped again. "Though how you are to ascend the hill without aid of flight or beast…"

"Don't worry Mr. Sworthington, I'll get her down." Gohan nodded firmly. "I promise."

"Thank you sir." He let a smile cross his mustachioed face. "And please, call me Jeremiah."

"As long as you call me Gohan." Gohan smiled brightly. He left Jeremiah sitting on the bench and strode bravely through the crowd. The servant nodded to himself. This one was a keeper.

 _Gohan applied his power, making a shield around him. None of the nobles were able to touch him. He ascended the hill quickly._

The wall of bodies parted, making way for Gohan. He stopped at the foot of the hill and looked up. "Just gotta walk up it I guess…" He set one foot on the slick surface, then the other. Soon he was strolling simple as you please up the glass hill. The men below him gaped up at the sight. How was this possible?

 _Think Naruto._

Gohan was appalled. "You seriously just…"

 _Soon he reached the top of the hill. Again, the princess was overjoyed to see her savior._

Videl stared wide eyed at the man approaching her. "Uh….. who are you?"

Gohan sighed. "Why does no one remember me?"

"Well for one thing… wait…" Videl's jaw dropped. "Gohan!?"

"Yep." He gestured at the kai robes. "Though I don't always dress like this."

"No kidding!" Her eyes stuck to his face. "I just didn't expect you to be so…"

"So…. What?"

Videl's face burned in a blush. "Nothing! It's just good to see you again!" She folded her arms across her chest. "I take it you've seen your competition."

"Oh, those guys." He looked back down at the angry mob of princely lords and whatnot. "Yeah, they don't seem very nice. But they're not my competition. We're not getting married." He added awkwardly, with no little amount of regret. "Right?"

"Yeah. Right." Videl answered equally as awkwardly. She looked away. "How're we gonna get down?"

"Easy! We'll walk."

 _So Gohan carried the princess down the hill and through the crowd. They heckled and shouted and raged, but were unable to touch them. Gohan found the manservant and released the princess into his care._

Videl snuggled into Gohan's chest, reveling in the angry glares and shouts directed at them. Gohan laughed lightly. "Quit baiting them."

"Hey, after seeing them bumming around here for three days, I think I'm entitled to a little baiting."

He strode over to Jeremy, enveloping him in the safety of the ki shield. "Delivery for a Mr Jeremiah!" He let Videl down gently. "One Princess, at your service."

"Thank Kami!" Jeremy caught Videl up in a hug. "I was so worried."

"Geez Jeremy, you're like a mother hen." She pulled out of his embrace. She turned to look at Gohan. "Thanks again Gohan. I don't think we can spar today. I get the feeling that Dad is gonna want to do some serious public relations after this."

"That's alright." Gohan smiled. "I'm just glad I got to see you today."

A moment passed. Gohan's face bust into an incredible blush. It seemed to turn redder in the glow of his hair. He looked away and muttered something unintelligible.

Videl giggled. Her face was also tinted red. "Me too."

Gohan looked back at Videl. An expression of hope on his face. "I'll come back tomorrow! I'll come back to tomorrow and see you!" He said excitedly.

"Great! I'll spar with you then!" Videl grinned. "And then maybe we could go out for ice cream?"

 _Before leaving, he escorted the princess and servant through the crowd. She gave him a third golden hair clip before he left for home._

Jeremy cleared his throat. "As nice as that sounds, I think we'd better get out of this crowd." He gestured to the mob that now surrounded them, angrily pressed up against the ki shield.

"Ah, right." Gohan offered his arm. "May I escort you to your house?"

Videl laughed, punching him gently. "Why not?" She took said arm and they, along with the servant, walked to the door. Once there, she took out another golden hair tie and gave it to Gohan. Then they said their goodbyes and parted ways.

 _Gohan told the story to his family. They listened in disbelief._

"Wow! They tried to build a human pyramid 50 stories high?" Goku wondered.

"That's a lot of people big brother!" Goten said, eyes wide. "Did they fall down?"

"What he _should_ be telling us is how he's home WITHOUT A PRINCESS!"

"Mom!"

"There isn't a princess in your pocket!"

"I'm going back tomorrow to talk with her father!" Gohan threw his hands in the air. "Sheesh!"

"Alright. I'll let it slide. However, if he puts her back on the top of that hill…" Chichi brandished her frying pan threateningly.

 _The princess told the story to her father. He listened in disbelief._

"He just… WALKED up and got you!?"

"Yes dad. HE WALKED. Just admit that he won your stupid competition fair and square!"

Hercule shook his head. "I don't believe it! He must've had glue on the bottoms of his shoes or something!"

"Actually sir," Jeremiah Sworthington piped up, "he was completely fair. I saw it myself."

Hercule grit his teeth. He paced back and forth in the hall. Videl stared at him angrily the entire time. After a minute, he relented. "Fine! However, I must see this guy for myself! Only then will I decide if he is worthy of my daughter!"

Videl threw her hands in the air. "Finally!"

 _The next morning, summons went out all over the world for the mysterious Gohan to appear at the royal mansion. Word reached the poor saiyan family about midday._

"YES!" Chichi threw confetti. "YESYESYES! Grandbabies here I come!"

"Mom…"

"Get thee hither young whelp!" She scurried into the little house. "I have thy wardrobe prepared!"

Goten tugged on Goku's pant leg. "Daddy, why is mom talking so weird?"

"This is supposed to be an old fairy tale, son. Things were weird in the past."

 _Gohan left for the mansion wearing the finest garments his mother had prepared for him._

Gohan looked in the mirror. "Do I have to wear a suit?"

"Would you rather wear the kai robes again?"

"No Ma'am."

 _He arrived at the mansion to see a line stretching around the courtyard and into the streets. Everyone showed up to claim to be the mysterious Gohan._

"It's getting very Cinderella story up in here." Gohan groaned. He stood at the end of the line with a sigh. "Well, there's nothing for it. I've just got to wait my turn."

 _And he waited. Like… as long as it takes to power up. 5 episodes worth of waiting._

 _Finally, after hours of waiting, Gohan reached the mansion._

"Name."

Gohan was startled slightly. He was zoning out so much that he hadn't noticed the guards. "Uh… Gohan Son."

The guard appraised him. "At least you gave us a last name." He tiredly flicked his head in the direction of the huge double doors. "The que is up ahead. Take one of the papers and fill it out to the best of your abilities."

Gohan walked curiously into the room and picked up a sheet of paper. At least a dozen others were in the room with him. He glanced down at the paper.

Question 1: What kind of prince are you?

"Wow. This is a thing now." Gohan sighed in resignation and filled out the paper full of personal questions.

 _He was called into the throne room. He stood before the mighty warrior and the princess. He was ready to claim what was rightfully his._

"NEXT."

Gohan glanced around the room. He was the only one left. He stood to his feet and walked into the main room. For a moment he was taken aback. It was a lot bigger than he'd thought. People thronged about on either side of the auditorium. Cautiously he made his way to the podium in front of a large throne where Hercule was sitting with Videl standing at his side.

Gohan was sincerely glad to see Videl standing there. She had a look about her that told him how angry she was. Like lava was seething just below the surface of her skin. If anything it only made Gohan more attracted to her. He fought down a blush and kept walking, trying to tear his eyes away from the object of his affection.

"But I AM Gohan!" Sharpner hollered from the podium. Gohan was startled to realize that the last session wasn't over yet. "I swear! Look at this! My birth certificate even says so!" He waved the paper in his hand furiously in the air.

"You aren't him." Videl gritted out, angry beyond belief. "LEAVE."

"BUT…"

"How DARE you disrespect my daughter!" cried Hercule. He motioned to his guards. "Take him away!"

Sharpner howled and hollered, but the guards simply picked him up bodily and flung him out the door. He landed on a pile of princes and nobles who had been too discouraged to get up and walk away.

Gohan watched the scene with curiosity. "Huh." He stepped up to the podium and smiled brightly. "Hello. My name is Gohan Son. It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Satan, sir."

Hercule scowled at the perceived shrimpy kid in the slightly oversized suit. "Of course it is an honor to meet me! I AM THE GREATEST!" He laughed.

Videl just rolled her eyes.

Gohan turned and smiled at her. "Hey Videl! How are you today?"

"Shut your face loser!"

Gohan stared at her in shock. "W-what?"

 _Unfortunately, neither the mighty warrior nor his daughter recognized him._

"Let's get this over with." Videl sighed. "Who are you and where do you come from?"

Gohan's countenance dropped. "You don't remember me?"

"I have never met you before in my life!" She snapped. "Answer the question!"

"I-I'm Gohan Son. I hail from Mount Paozu of the Eastern most zone. We met the other day when you were on the hill for the first time. I flew up to save you."

"Tricks and Lies!" Hercule exclaimed.

Videl shot him a withering look. She didn't much care for how her father disbelieved her. She turned her attention back to Gohan. "Everybody saw Gohan fly up to me. They also saw the dragon and how Gohan walked up the side of the hill and made it so no one could touch him." She scowled at Gohan angrily. "Everyone has told me the same story over and over again. So tell me, how do I know that you are the real Gohan?"

 _Gohan remembered what the princess had given him for proof that he'd saved her. He pulled out the golden hair clips and showed them to the mighty warrior._

"Because you gave me your golden hair ties." He pulled them out of his pocket and held it up for her to see. They shone and glimmered in the light.

Videl's eyes narrowed. Ignoring her father's protests she leaped over the railing and down the stairs. She dashed up to Gohan and took the hair ties from him. She examined them carefully.

She looked up at him, eyes wide. "Where did you get these?" She said softly.

"You gave them to me." He smiled gently. "You told me that if they didn't let me in, to show them these. One you gave to me beside the riverbank, one as I left with Icarus, and one before I left when I escorted you and Jeremiah to the door."

 _The princess recognized the hair clips and nearly exploded from joy._

Videl looked into those fathomless dark eyes. He knew where they landed that first night. He knew Icarus's name. He knew who Jeremy was. "It's you." She breathed. "It's really you."

"Yeah. It's me." Gohan smiled, causing Videl's heart to flutter.

"You look different."

"I guess, but this is how I look normally. Minus the suit of course." He chuckled.

 _However, the mighty warrior was not so easily convinced._

"I am not convinced!"

Gohan and Videl looked at Hercule, who was red faced and blustering.

"I just can't believe that this skinny little punk has what it takes to marry my daughter!" Hercule proclaimed. "I bet he isn't even of royal blood! Just some no name peasant of no reputation!"

Feathers ruffled, Gohan spoke up bravely. "Sir, I am the son of the martial artist Goku Son and of the princess Chichi Mau, daughter of the Ox king." He saw the slight paling of Hercule's face, but continued. "I am a prince of the Ox kingdom. I have bested and defeated the great menace that is Cell." Power surged around him and he transformed into a supersaiyan. "I am in love with your daughter and no matter how many times you put her on that kami-forsaken hill, I will rescue her!"

Gohan stared Hercule down. The 'mighty warrior' cowered under the fierce gaze and mumbled something that sounded like consent. Gohan nodded and powered down. He turned to say something to Videl and froze. He realized what he just said, even after they told each other that they weren't ready for marriage.

"Videl I… What I mean is that I…" He trailed off at the look on her face.

Videl's baby blue eyes beamed with joy at Gohan. "Well, if you love me so much," she said, voice filled with amusement, "let's get married."

 _And so, the princess happily married the eldest son of the poor saiyan family. There was never before such a happier occasion._

"YES!" Chichi threw more confetti in the air. "YES YES YES YES! THE PLAN WOOOOOORKED!" She danced around. "GRANDBABIES GRANDBABIES GRANDBABIIIIIIIIIIES!

Goku winced. "Chichi, you don't have to yell."

 _Gohan declined the riches and chose instead to live quietly with the beautiful princess. Well, if you call living quietly fighting crime every chance they got. In short, they lived happily ever after._

 ** _The end._**


	2. The Forest Bride

_**The Forest Bride**_  
Based on the Finnish Fairy tale and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Goku, Chichi, Bardock, Raditz, Turles, Nappa

 _ **A humorous Goku/Chichi fic.**_

* * *

 _There was once a farmer who had three sons. Well, more like two sons and an estranged nephew. They lived on the edge of a forest in the countryside._

 _One day, when his sons had grown to manhood, he said to them:_

"You are all grown men!" Bardock rubbed tiredly at his eyes. Raising three unruly boys took a toll on him. "Move out already! Go find yourselves girls or something!"

"Ahuh." Turles rolled his eyes. "And where would we find girls? No girl would ever put up with those two." He gestured to his cousins.

"Hey!" Raditz punched him. "I resent that!"

Bardock groaned. "There are girls literally everywhere. Just… pick a direction and go! I don't even care!" He was kind of fed up.

Goku looked a little confused. "But…"

"Fine!" The father stomped over to the woodpile and pulled out three axes. "Each of you go to the edge of the woods and chop down a tree. Go in the direction the tree has fallen and look for a wife there!"

Raditz shook his head. "That's stupid."

Bardock hit him over the head. "Just _go_ already!"

 _So the two brothers and the cousin took up the axes and walked to the edge of the forest. They chose their trees and hacked away until they fell._

"Okay!" Turles looked over his tree. It pointed north. "I'll go north. There's a village not too far that way anyhow." He grinned. Truth be told, he'd seen a few lovely ladies that way. He was sure to find at least one who would date him.

Raditz looked off beyond the hills to the south. He smirked. "Mine points to where all the hot chicks are." He knew there was a village to the south where a pretty maid lived. He'd danced with her on a few occasions.

Goku looked down at his tree. It pointed directly into the dark heart of the forest. He scratched the back of his head in thought. A girl lived in there? Really?

His brother and cousin snickered. "Hey Goku!" Raditz jeered. "You gonna marry a raccoon?"

Turles scoffed. "Nonsense! Your brother will marry a monkey!" They knew that there were only animals in the forest. They thought Goku dumb enough to bring an animal back for a sweetheart.

"I don't see what's so funny." Goku shrugged. "If my tree fell that way, then I bet there's a girl that way too." Sure he was innocent and on many occasions naive, but he wasn't stupid. When they went out partying and dancing, he was at home helping his father or out in the woods, exploring and training. His brother and cousin always discounted him for some dumb reason.

"Yeah… an ugly girl." Turles smirked. "Poor little Kakkarot. Good luck with your monkey girlfriend!"

 _So the three young men set out in their direction to find themselves a girl. The older siblings, that is the elder brother and cousin, found girls they liked rather quickly. The youngest, however, spend a good long time wandering through the woods looking for a girl. He began to despair, however, when there were no girls to be found._

"Girls don't live in forests." Goku mumbled to himself. "How am I supposed to find one out here?"

He walked around a rather large boulder and stopped in surprise. A little domed cottage sat nestled squarely behind it. If he'd gone the other way around the rock, he would've missed it.

"Hey, there might be a girl in here." Goku said cheerfully. He knocked on the door a few times before going in.

It was empty except for a table and a few chairs. There was a little kitchenette in the corner and a small bed along the side, but he could see no one in the one room house.

Goku was disappointed. "Aww man. Nobody's here."

"I'm here!"

Goku startled. He looked around frantically. "Who said that!?"

"I did!"

Goku stopped moving and dropped his eyes to the floor. There stood a dainty little mouse. She had her paws on her hips and was tapping one little foot impatiently.

"Oh! Sorry Miss Mouse. I didn't think anyone lived here."

"I live here! Don't I count?!"

Goku held up his hands in surrender. "Sure you do! I just was looking for someone else is all."

"Oh. I see." The mouse appeared to be mollified. "What's your name?"

"I'm Goku. Who're you?"

"My name's Chichi." She turned and climbed up the table to get a better look at Goku. She smiled politely at the handsome young man. "And who might you be looking for, Goku?"

Goku scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well you see Chichi, my dad is tired of us living at home. He's angry cuz my brother, my cousin, and I eat all his food." She giggled and he smiled. "So he told us to go off and find girls to marry so we'd get on with our lives or something to that effect."

Chichi squeaked and held her paws to her face. "M-marriage? Oh my!" She blushed in a cute mousy way. "D-don't you think that it's too strange to ask some random girl to marry you?"

"It is a little strange." Goku admitted. "But I don't mind. I mean, I'll love her the same no matter who she is." Chichi's little mousy heart did a back flip, but Goku didn't notice as he let out a big sigh. "Though I don't think I'll ever find a girl at this rate."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, my tree pointed towards the forest. I'm pretty sure there aren't any girls in here." Goku pulled out one of the chairs and sank into it. "If I head back now, my brothers will just laugh at me. I bet they found girls already and I alone will have failed." He said sadly.

"Oh dear." Chichi looked up at Goku in sympathy. "That's terrible. What kind of brothers are they anyway?!"

"Actually Turles is my cousin…" He trailed off.

Chichi sat there a moment, thinking. Then, having come to a decision, she walked over to Goku and placed her little paws on his hand. "Goku, I've an idea!"

"What?"

"If you want to, I mean, if you would like to…" Chichi said shyly, "I mean, if you don't mind it at all…"

Goku smiled and leaned down to come nose to nose with the little mouse. "What won't I mind?"

Chichi blushed a lovely red and turned away. "Oh my… What I mean is that maybe… I… could be your sweetheart?"

"Really?" Goku beamed at her. "That's great! Only…" His smile faded. "You're just a little mouse. I don't know if it would work out."

Chichi turned back to him with a smile. "Don't worry about that Goku. You could do much worse than have me for a sweetheart." She stroked his hand tenderly. "Even though I am a mouse, I can still love you and be true to you."

"Aw Chichi." He smiled gently. "Thank you." Chichi nearly swooned at him, for he was quite a handsome man. "Then, if it's alright with you, I'll take you as my sweetheart."

Chichi squeaked in delight. "Wow! Really? Goodness! I've never had a boyfriend before! What would mama think? What would _papa_ think? And you want to get married someday?" She got all flustered. "Oh gosh! What should I do?"

Goku laughed at the little mouse's antics. He looked out the window and noticed the sun beginning to set. "Hey Chichi, I have to get going. Dad's expecting us back at sundown."

"Oh! You will come back to visit me, right?" She held on to his hand. "I swear I'll wait for you forever!"

"Well hopefully it won't be that long." Goku chuckled. He genuinely liked the little mouse. Her fur was so soft and her eyes sparkled like nothing he'd ever seen before. He walked out the door and waved. "See you soon Chichi."

 _That evening the boys returned home to their father. Goku was the last to arrive and caught the tail end of their boasting._

"…and she has these huuuuge…" Turles cupped his hands, "… tracks of land!"

"Of course that's the thing you notice." Raditz scoffed. "Mine has a power level of over 9000!"

"Over nine thousand levels of nagginess you mean." Turles made a disgusted face.

"At least mine doesn't have implants!" Raditz countered. "Those 'tracks of land' you claim are really just…"

"Enough already!" Bardock rubbed his eyes. "I get it! You both got some attractive ladies." He looked over at Goku. "Kakkarot, did you find a girlfriend?"

Goku looked back and forth between his brothers and father. "What are 'tracks of land'?"

"Just answer the question!"

"He did uncle." Turles supplied. "His girlfriend is just covered with hair and has a long bushy tail."

"Oh! Don't forget the big nasty teeth she's got." Raditz held his fingers up to his mouth. "Like difth."

They laughed and Goku bristled. "Hey! She's not like that at all! She's just a little thing gowned in the softest velvet!"

"Velvet? What is she, some kind of princess?" Turles sneered.

"I bet she is!" Goku stuck out his tongue at them. "She's nice and has a beautiful laugh! I'm perfectly happy with her as a sweetheart."

Raditz matched Turles's scowl. They weren't too pleased by this news.

Bardock, however, took it all with a grain of salt. "Whatever. Long as you found a girl, I'm happy." He nodded. "And before you boys bring them home for my blessing, you've got to prove to me that these girls can truly take care of you!"

"What do you mean?" Turles raised an eyebrow.

"I mean that they won't send you back to me if you eat them out of house and home!" Bardock exclaimed angrily. "Go tomorrow and ask them to bake some bread. Bring back a loaf of it so I can see if they are up to snuff!"

"That's easy enough I guess." Raditz turned to Goku. "Hey Kakkarot, can the _princess_ bake bread?"

"I… uh…" Goku scratched his head in thought. "I don't know. I'll have to ask her."

 _So the next day, the three young men went out to visit their sweethearts. As the youngest traveled towards his forest sweetheart, he couldn't help but wonder if the little mouse really could bake bread. Even though he figured anything was possible, he felt a little discouraged. He finally arrived at the house and opened the door._

"Goku!" Goku grinned at the joyous squeak and looked over to see Chichi hopping up and down excitedly from her spot on the table. "You came back!" Chichi cheered happily. "And so soon! I missed you!"

He walked over and took a seat at the table. "It's good to see you too Chichi." He smiled at the little mouse.

Chichi walked over and set herself in the palm of his hand. When he didn't move, she gazed up at him in curiosity. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah, well no… It's just…" Goku sighed. "My dad wants to know how well our sweethearts can care for us."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "He wants you guys to bake some bread so he can see if you can feed us."

Chichi looked up at him incredulously. "Feed you?"

"Yeah." Goku patted his toned tummy. "We eat a lot."

"Huh." Chichi tilted her head to the side in a charming manner. "Well I'll just have to bake you some bread then."

He looked aghast at her. "But Chichi, you're so small! How are you going to bake bread?"

"Hey, I can bake bread!" Chichi stood up defiantly. "I can bake the best bread you've ever had!" She strutted over to a small box on the edge of the table. Reaching into the box, she pulled out a small silver bell and rang it. It gave a light tinkling sound.

Suddenly swarms of mice came from every direction. Goku was surprised, but held his place as the mice lined up in a proper military formation in front of Chichi.

"Alright!" Chichi drew herself up in a dignified manner. "Each of you, go get me the finest grain of wheat you can find!"

The mice scattered only to be back minutes later with grains of wheat. Goku watched in amazement as Chichi took charge of the mice and proceeded to bake twelve beautiful loaves of soft white bread. When she was finished she turned to Goku.

"There!" She panted, having done most of the baking herself. She turned to Goku in triumph. "How's about them apples?!"

"Chichi that's amazing!" He picked her up from the counter of the kitchenette and spun her about. "You're the best sweetheart in the world!"

Chichi squeaked in happiness. "Put me down you big lug!" She giggled. "You still have to try them!"

Goku set the little mouse down and practically inhaled all but one of the loaves of bread. He smacked his lips. "Chichi, you should be a master baker! That was delicious! How'd you manage to bake fruit inside them too?" Chichi blushed and he laughed. "I'll take this last one back to dad. He'll see what a fantastic cook you are!"

 _So the two brothers and cousin returned with the bread from their sweethearts._

"Alright. Show me whatcha got." Bardock ordered the boys.

"Ehh. She's a good enough cook." Turles tossed a loaf of rye bread on the table. "She made a casserole besides this. It was alright."

"Yeah? Well mine made three loaves of bread!" Raditz proclaimed, setting his loaf of barley bread down. "It's got a great texture."

Bardock nodded. "That's well and good I suppose. Kakkarot, what did your girl make?"

Goku grinned and held out his loaf of bread. "She made this light and fluffy bread with bits of fruit inside. It's really tasty and she made eleven more besides this one!"

Raditz and Turles's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. Bardock's eyebrows went up and he sampled the loaf of bread. He closed his eyes in delight. "Dang but that's good bread." He swallowed. "Yours must be a girl of talent!"

"Yeah right! I bet he bought it at the market and brought it home for show!" Raditz argued.

"No I didn't!" Goku argued back. "She rang a little silver bell and all her servants rushed out and brought back the finest ingredients for her! She baked it all herself!"

"Liar!" Turles rounded on Goku, brow stormy with jealousy. "You bought that loaf at the market!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes, you are!" Turles swung at Goku and soon, the three siblings were battling it out there in the kitchen.

"Enough!" Bardock forced his way into the brawl and separated the three men. "I said enough!" He pushed Raditz roughly away from his brother. "You guys can't go _five minutes_ without fighting!" He looked at Turles's ripped clothing and sighed heavily. "I can't keep mending your clothes every time you lot get in a tussle!" He snapped his fingers in a sudden revelation. "So the next time you visit your girls, ask them to sew something!"

Goku tilted his head at his father. "Sew something?"

"Yes." Bardock pointed at him accusingly. "You boys go through clothes faster than you can run a race! If you're gonna marry these girls, I want to see if they can fix your clothes." He smirked at the boys. "Unless you're all content to run around naked."

Raditz turned red. "No thanks."

 _The following day, the boys set out to visit their sweethearts once again. This time to ask for a sample of their sewing skills. The elder brothers were confident in their girls' skills. The youngest, however, wondered if his little mousey sweetheart could sew._

Goku knocked on the door to the little cottage. "Chichi? You there?" He opened the door and was glad to see the little mouse turn from her place on the table.

"Goku!" Chichi's cry was pretty loud considering that she was a mouse. "You're back!" She did a little dance of joy.

Goku chuckled, smiling happily. "It's good to see you too!" He sat down at the table and rested his head on his forearms. "I wanted to tell you that dad was really impressed by your bread yesterday. My brothers thought it was from the bakery at the market!"

Chichi bopped him lightly on the nose. "That's a pretty high compliment."

"Yeah, but they didn't believe me." Goku shrugged. "We got into a fight over it."

"A fight?" She glanced at his clothes. "Is that why you look so torn up?"

"Yeah." Goku grinned. "We practice martial arts. I'm stronger than my brothers, but dad broke it up before we could really get into it." He sighed. "Actually, that's why I'm here again today. He wants a sample of your sewing. Do you sew?"

"Do I sew?" Chichi scoffed. "Of course I sew! I'm your sweetheart aren't I? It wouldn't do for your future wife to not know how to sew." She went back over to her little box and once again rang her little silver bell.

Goku was ready this time as hundreds of mice swarmed the cottage. He wasn't as startled as last time. Instead he wondered how they all heard the little bell.

"Okay everyone!" Chichi announced. "Go out and bring me the finest strands of flax you can find!"

Goku watched the mice scurry away. "Uh… Chichi, what's flax?"

"It's what linen's made out of."

"Oh." Goku saw the mice return with strands of flax. He watched in amazement as the mice prepared it, spinning it and carding it like it was second nature to them. Then Chichi took their work and wove together a long stretch of material. When she was finished, she handed it to Goku. It was soft and supple. It looked like it could flow like water. He held it in his hands and let out a long whistle.

"Wow! Chichi, if I hadn't seen you do it myself, I would never have believed you!"

The little mouse giggled. "So, do you like it?"

"You bet!" His smile lit up his face. "This is so cool!"

"Aww." Chichi blushed. Her blush faded once she looked at Goku once more. "Hold on a minute Goku. Your clothes are still a mess. Let me fix them for you!"

"Oh, Chichi, you don't have to…"

"Abuhbuh!" She shook her paw at him. "Take off your shirt and I'll be done sooner than you know it!"

Goku sighed and took off his shirt. He heard a small gasp as he laid it on the table. He looked at the little mouse in concern. "You okay?"

Chichi was blushing furiously. She hadn't expected Goku to look so… muscular with his shirt off. He looked really good. She stuttered a yes before stitching up the holes in his shirt. Soon, everything was mended to the point where you could barely tell that it had ever been torn before.

"Wow. You're really good at this!" Goku marveled before pulling his shirt back on. "Are you sure you're really just a little mouse?"

"Oh, I'm not just a mouse Goku." She smiled cheekily at him. "I'm your sweetheart!"

 _Once again, the youngest son had to leave. He knew he had to show his father the weaving the little mouse made for him, but he didn't quite want to leave her. He'd become very fond of her and admired the little mouse all the more. The little mouse bade him a cheerful farewell though he could tell she would miss him. In all honesty, he'd miss her too. For his journey, she folded the linen up into a nutshell. It fit inside because it was so fine a material._

 _He arrived back at his father's house to see his brothers already there with their sweetheart's weavings._

"Check it." Turles held out a square of cotton. "She wove a cotton handkerchief for me. You shoulda seen how quickly she worked."

"Oh yeah?" Raditz held out a potholder. "She mixed this potholder with linen so it wouldn't burn so easily."

Goku frowned. "Wouldn't it burn just the same?"

"Kakkarot!" Bardock nodded to his youngest. "What did your girl make?"

Goku reached into his pocket and pulled out the walnut shell. Raditz and Turles burst into laughter.

"How dumb is your girl anyway?" Raditz laughed. "Can't she tell the difference between clothing and a nut?"

"What kind of princess is she anyway?" Turles snickered. "Princess of the funny farm?"

Goku scowled and handed it to his father. The young man kept his silence. All laughter stopped when Bardock opened the nutshell and pulled out a long length of beautiful linen.

Bardock ran it through his hands and nodded. "This is the finest linen I've ever seen." He looked at Goku in wonder. "How'd she do it?"

"Well, she rang that little silver bell and got her servants to gather the best stuff for it. Then she wove it and placed it in that little nutshell." Goku smiled proudly. "I watched her do it myself."

Bardock grinned. "I've got to meet this girl. She not only made you this, but sewed up your gi as well!" He poked Goku in the side where a hole had once been. He looked at all three men. "Actually, all three of you have chosen well. Bring your girls by tomorrow so I can meet them and give you my blessing. Then you can go off and get married and maybe I can have some peace around here."

 _The next day, the three young men set out to fetch their sweethearts. The youngest set off happily into the forest. As he walked he wondered what his brothers would say when they saw his little mousey sweetheart. They would laugh, but he didn't care. She was the best sweetheart he'd ever had and he could never be ashamed of her._

Goku opened the door to the little cottage. "Chichi! I'm back!"

"Goku!" Chichi cried in delight. "It's good to see you!"

"Chichi! Guess what?" Goku hurried over to the table. "Dad wants to meet you!"

The little mouse squeaked in excitement. "Seriously!?"

"Yeah!" Goku beamed at his sweetheart. "He was so impressed by your sewing that he wanted to meet you right away!"

"Oh my!" Chichi squealed. "This is so sudden! Oh gosh! What do I even wear?!" She hurried over to the little box on the table and started rifling through it. Little garments flew hither and thither as she searched. Goku laughed at her antics. Abruptly, she stopped rummaging through the little box and turned to look at him. "Do… do you think he'll like me?"

Goku smiled tenderly. "Relax Chi. He'll love you. I know I do."

"EEEEEE!" Chichi turned bright red. She buried her face in the box of little frilly things. "Oh Goku! What a thing to say to a lady!"

He tilted his head quizzically. "What'd I say?"

She giggled and pulled out her little silver bell. It tinkled merrily in her paw. Like before, hundreds of mice swarmed into the cottage. Goku waved at them, recognizing a few of them from walking in the woods prior to meeting Chichi.

"Okay everyone!" Chichi clapped her paws together. "Prepare my carriage. We're traveling to Goku's house in style!"

Goku watched, amazed as the mice scurried away only to bring back a miniature carriage. It was made of a large white walnut shell. Little silver bells tinkled on the sides of it. It was pulled by five pure black mice and even had a little mousey driver and footman.

"Wow!" Goku marveled. "How'd you make a carriage so tiny?"

 _So the youngest brother set out for home, walking beside the little carriage that held his sweetheart._

"I think you'll like my dad." Goku told her. "He seems like an old grouch when you first meet him, but he's a big softy once you get to know him."

Chichi giggled. "And he won't mind that I'm just a little mouse?"

"Nah. He won't care. And trust me, I'll protect you." Goku nodded soberly. "No one will be able to lay a finger on you!" Especially not his brother and cousin. "I'll care for you for as long as I'm alive."

"Oh Goku." Chichi sighed dreamily. "That means so much to me."

 _As they left the forest, they came to a river that was spanned by a little footbridge. Just as they crossed the bridge, a man met them coming from the opposite direction._

Nappa the traveling merchant stared at the little carriage rolling beside Goku. "What the heck is that?" He stooped and looked down in interest. He saw the little mouse in the walnut shell and laughed out loud. "That's ridiculous!"

With a swift kick, Nappa sent the little coach, mousy servants and all, off the bridge and into the water below.

Goku was stunned. "Wh-what?!" He bent over and searched desperately over the water, but there was no sign of his sweetheart or her little carriage.

"No… no no NO!" He whirled on Nappa in a rage. "She's gone!" He hauled Nappa down to his level by his shirtfront. "What have you done?!"

"Hey! Let me go!" Nappa struggled, but couldn't get out of his grip. "You're nuts man!"

"YOU DROWNED HER!" Goku roared in his face. He pulled back his arm and punched Nappa in the face. So strong was the punch that it sent Nappa sailing into the distance, never to be seen again.

"Oh no… Chichi…" Goku sank to his knees in misery. "You were so kind to me. So faithful and loving and… and now you're gone." He rubbed a fist across his eyes, trying to rub away the tears. "I didn't care that you were a mouse! I would've married you. I would've built you a house with stuff your size and … now you're gone…" Goku felt his heart break into pieces. "I didn't get to tell you how much I loved you."

As he spoke the words of his anguish and sorrow, a beautiful white coach came rumbling up the bank behind him. Silver bells tinkled along its sides and five glossy black horses pulled it. A coachman, suit trimmed in gold lace, held the reins. The footman rode beside him cheerily.

Goku didn't pay them any mind. He moved off the bridge to let them pass, still mourning the loss of his sweetheart.

"Goku."

Goku was startled to hear his name. He looked up and saw that the coach had stopped right in front of him. The door opened and he gazed upon the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Her skin was like porcelain and her hair was long and blacker than the deepest midnight. She was dressed in a gown of pearly velvet and shimmered faintly with jewels. Her dark eyes danced as she looked back at him.

Goku studied her, sadness apparent on his face. "How do you know my name?"

She was shocked. "You mean, you don't recognize me?"

"I… I don't think we've met before." Goku frowned.

"Seriously?!" The beautiful girl huffed in indignation. "I come back like a normal girl and you don't even recognize me? I can hardly believe you Goku!"

Goku's eyes widened. He knew that voice.

"Ch… Chichi?"

"Well duh!" Chichi missed the emotions playing on Goku's face. "Would you prefer if I turned back into a mouse again? I think you liked me better that wa-"

She was interrupted at Goku threw himself into the carriage and wrapped her in a bone breaking hug.

"Chichi." Goku spoke into her shoulder. "I thought you were dead." His grip tightened and his voice broke with relief. "I thought I'd lost you."

Chichi was stunned. "You… thought I was dead?" She hugged him back, marveling at the depth of his emotions. "No I… I was under a curse. It could only be broken if someone loved me enough to marry me even in the form of a mouse." She pulled away from him gently and cupped his cheek. "When I was kicked into the water, the spell broke. It restored me to my normal form."

"I don't care. Don't ever do that again." Goku ordered her, voice firm. "Curse or no curse, I don't want to lose you."

Chichi's heart fluttered. "Oh Goku." She looked away shyly. "Do you still want to marry me? Now that I'm a princess and all?"

"I don't care what you are." Goku put his hand under her chin and pulled her eyes back to his. "I love you Chichi. Will you marry me?"

 _And so, happily reunited, the couple went on their way to the farmer's house to receive his blessing. However, when they arrived in the beautiful carriage, no one recognized them._

Raditz turned from his girlfriend and called to his father. "Hey dad." He motioned over his shoulder at the white carriage coming up the lane. "We got some fancy relatives or something?"

Bardock frowned. "No, I don't think we do. The only royals I know are Vegeta and his son." He pointed at Raditz. "Tell your cousin to stop making out with his girlfriend long enough to go with us to meet them. Maybe they're lost or something."

The three men went out to the gate. They were surprised when the carriage stopped in front of them and out came Goku.

"Hiya dad! Sup Raditz?" Goku cheerily hopped down from the coach, ignoring the footman. "Turles, why are you wearing lipstick?"

"Forget about that Kakkarot!" Turles wiped his mouth furiously. "How the heck did you get a carriage like that?!"

"Yeah! We're farmers!" Raditz agreed. "We can't afford anything that ritzy."

Goku scratched the back of his head. "Well, it's not mine."

Bardock sighed. "How many times have I told you not to bum rides from strangers? Your brothers don't listen to me, but I at least thought that you would."

"Oh!" Goku flushed in embarrassment. "I only meant that it's my sweetheart's coach."

Raditz and Turles's mouths dropped open. Bardock's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Your sweetheart's coach?"

"Yeah." Goku smiled joyfully and reached back into the carriage, taking his sweetheart by the hand. "Dad, I'd like you to meet Chichi, princess of the Ox kingdom."

Chichi stepped out in all her royal finery and bowed to Bardock. If Bardock's eyebrows went any higher, they would've flown off into the sky. Turles and Raditz, however, felt their jaws hit the dirt in disbelief.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Bardock." Chichi greeted him pleasantly. "Goku's been telling me all about you."

"Ahuh." Bardock blinked. "Goku… how did… where did you…"

"I followed where my tree pointed." Goku shrugged. "Same as they did."

"You're kidding!" Bardock laughed. "That actually worked? Well dang!" He bowed cordially to Chichi, grinning in good humor. "A pleasure to meet you as well princess." He offered her his arm and they strolled merrily into the house to talk.

Off to the side, Raditz finally snapped out of his shock. He shook his head gloomily. "Figures Kakkarot is the one to find a princess. Lucky bum. Wish my tree fell towards the woods too."

"Oh shut up Raditz." Turles grumbled. "I wish your tree fell and hit you on the head."

 _Little did they know that it wasn't luck that led the youngest brother to the princess. It was his pure heart and his kindness to even a little mouse that brought them together._

 _After they had received his father's blessing, they rode home to the princess's kingdom and were married. They were as happy as anyone could ever be, for they were good and true to each other. Chichi cooked startling amounts of food and Goku ate happily. They even had a son! In other words, they loved each other dearly and lived happily ever after._

 ** _The End._**


	3. Firebird, Horse of Power, and Princess

_**The Firebird, the Horse of Power, and the Princess**_  
Based on the Russian folktale and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Gohan, Goku, Vegeta, Videl, King Kai, Sharpner

 **A humorous Gohan/Videl fic.**

* * *

 _Once upon a time there was a Tsar. He wasn't all that strong or powerful, but he was the ruler nonetheless because the law dictated that the ruler had to be blonde. No one knew particularly why he had to be blonde, but everyone followed the rule. Sharpner was really the only blonde that could be found. He was ill prepared for his rule and as a result, took his power for granted and acted like quite the jerk._

 _Nevertheless, he had a great many people in his employ. One of which was a young archer by the name of Gohan. Dark of hair and keen of eye, he was strong, very good with a bow, and honest and loyal as they came. In fact, Gohan was well known throughout the kingdom. Though it was mostly because of his horse._

 _His was a horse of power._

 _It was a great horse with a broad chest, eyes like fire, and hooves of iron. One of the last of its kind. There are no such horses nowadays. They had been eradicated long ago with the strongest men in the nation in a great war. It was said that they would sleep until mankind has need of them again, or when such a man was worthy enough to fight alongside them. I know this because my grandfather told me and he is much older than I, as I am older than you, so he should know._

 _Well, one day, long ago, in the green of the forest, the young archer went a riding on his horse of power._

"Kakkabrat, if I didn't know the woman would kill me, I'd kill you RIGHT NOW!"

Gohan rolled his eyes. "Whatever Vegeta."

 _Vegeta was the horse's name by the way. Don't ask why. It was his father's name or something like that. He was a horse with a fiery temper and no other man could handle him._

 _In any case, on this particular day Gohan and Vegeta were searching for something to appease the Tsar. They rode through the woods, thinking about what rare object would satisfy him. As they traveled, Gohan noticed something._

Gohan frowned. "That's strange." He looked around. "Why aren't the birds singing?" The forest was strangely quiet. Unnerved he shifted in the saddle.

Vegeta grunted. "Look there." He said gruffly, motioning with his head.

 _There, lying on the path before him was a large, golden feather the likes of which he'd never seen before. It was longer than his forearm and it glittered like fire in the bright sunshine._

Gohan's eyes widened. "Wow. That's got to be the biggest feather I've ever seen."

"Don't touch it." Vegeta growled, which was a little difficult to do as a horse. "That's the feather of the Firebird. Take it and you'll be sorry."

Gohan raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What, you gonna kick me again?"

"Brat!" Vegeta snapped at him. "It'll bring you misfortune!"

"Yeah right." He hopped off the horse's back and scooped up the feather. "Besides, we're out here looking for gifts for the Tsar. Pretty sure he doesn't want us coming back empty handed." He waved it in front of Vegeta's nose. "You know he's distracted by shiny things. Hopefully he'll like it this time."

Vegeta scoffed and shook his mane. "He's as much of a fool as you are."

"Oh pipe down." He marveled at the golden feather. "How bad could it be?"

 _He took the feather and rode back to the palace. They had traveled a great distance, but the voyage was short due to the speed of the horse of power. They arrived and he presented the golden feather to the Tsar._

"My Tsar, I bring you a feather of the Firebird." Gohan held out the golden feather.

Sharpner, the blonde, muscle-y Tsar, leaned in. "Oooooh… shiny…" He tilted his head. "Where's the rest of it?"

"Uh… rest of what?"

"The Firebird. Where's the rest of it?"

Gohan stared at him. "I… I just have the…"

"Well since you _obviously_ can get a feather from it, I assume you can go and get the whole thing!" Sharpner scoffed in derision. "A single, pathetic, dirty feather is no gift for such a mighty king as me! Go! Bring me the Firebird by tomorrow or I swear by my blonde hair that you will no longer have a head sitting on your shoulders!"

Gohan gaped at his Tsar. "You're serious."

Sharpner grinned viciously. "Deadly."

 _The young archer was steamed at the refusal of his gift. No one had ever before gotten a feather from the Firebird before. It should've been an honor! Besides, he just found the feather on the ground. How in the world was he going to get the whole thing? Disheartened, he returned to his horse who was standing in the courtyard._

Vegeta looked at him and snorted. "Told you so."

"Shut up Vegeta." Gohan plopped himself tiredly on the ground. "There's no way I can get the Firebird. I don't even know how to find the dumb thing, much less catch it." He sighed sadly. "Finding the feather was sheer luck. I guess I'll be dead by tomorrow."

The horse rolled his eyes. "Warriors do not give up so easily." He butted Gohan roughly with his head. "Get up. We've work to do."

 _While the horse of power knew the young archer was very strong and skilled indeed, he understood that no arrow could bring the bird down. Instead, he told him to go into the kitchens and bring out as much food as he could find. He said that at midnight, should Gohan scatter the food in the field, he may lure the firebird out into the open. So the young archer did as he was told and at midnight, after scattering tons of food on the ground, loosed his horse into the field and climbed into a tree to wait._

"This is stupid."

"Don't question my logic!" Vegeta snarled before storming away to the edge of the food pile.

 _They waited for hours. Then, as the sun shot its first few rays into the morning sky, the Firebird, wings flashing and flaming in the sun, flew over the field._

Goku, the Firebird, looked down at the field and saw the food. "Hey look! Food!" He grinned broadly. "Finders keepers!" He swooped in and landed right on the top of the food pile. He eagerly started devouring it.

Gohan stared at the bird in surprise. "That worked?"

"HA!" Vegeta leapt over the food with a great bound and stomped on Goku with his iron hooves. "Take that!"

"WHAT?! Uh… I mean… SQUAAAWK?!" Goku flailed about, trapped under Vegeta's feet. As much as he struggled, he could not get away. "That's not fair! You can't attack me while I'm eating! That's cheating!"

"Suck it up Kakkarot!" Vegeta smirked triumphantly. "Just admit that I'm the superior warrior!"

"You fight dirty!"

"Third class clown!"

"Meanie weenie!"

Gohan rolled his eyes. He dropped from the tree and walked over to the struggling animals. "Would you two pipe down? Sheesh."

Goku looked up at Gohan as he flailed about. "Hey! I know you! I've seen you around before!" He tilted his birdie head at the young man. "You seem like a nice enough guy. Why'd you send this guy to catch me?"

"The Tsar wants you as a pet. I had to catch you or he'd kill me." Gohan sighed, pulling out a length of strong rope. "I'm sorry. I hate to do this to you."

"Seriously? That Tsar guy sounds like a jerk." Goku mused. He watched as Gohan tied him securely with the rope and stilled his movements. "Hey, if you let me eat the rest of the food, I'll come with you without you having to tie me up."

"Seriously?" Gohan asked, disbelievingly.

"Sure!" Goku smiled. "I'd love you help you out! I'm just too hungry to get this guy off me."

Vegeta scowled. "Idiots." He grumbled.

 _True to his word, the Firebird ate the food and allowed himself to be carried away by the young archer. The horse of power protested about having to carry the Firebird, saying it was beneath him, but begrudgingly obliged. Together, the three made it back to the palace before the deadline._

Gohan walked into the throne room, the Firebird slung across his back. The two great wings were like fiery shields that protected his sides. The tail feathers trailed behind him like a great cape of fire. He looked rather impressive, even with his clothes dirty from travel.

"That the Tsar guy?" Goku whispered to Gohan as they neared the throne.

"Yeah. See how he's blonde?"

"That doesn't make much sense." Goku shook his head. "He doesn't look very powerful."

Gohan ignored him. He cleared his throat and addressed Sharpner. "My Tsar, surely I have brought the Firebird as you commanded."

Sharpner looked greedily at the majestic bird. "How shiny! Well done, my bumbling archer! Now I may brag to all the other Tsars about my fabulous new pet!" He puffed out his chest proudly. "No girl would ever be able to resist coming over to see the fabled Firebird! I'll have all the princesses at my beck and call!"

Gohan rolled his eyes silently, but Goku spoke up. "Not Princess Videl."

The blonde Tsar paused. "Princess who?"

"Princess Videl." Goku said again, oblivious to the 'shut up don't make it any worse' look Gohan was shooting him. "You know… great big palace beyond the sea… silver rowboat with golden oars… fabulously wealthy father… that Princess Videl?" Goku shook his feathered head. "She wouldn't be so impressed by me."

Sharpner put a hand to his chin. "Fabulously wealthy father, did you say?" He smirked in thought. "Well then, archer, seeing as you brought me this king worthy gift, go out and fetch me that princess to match it! Bring her back here by tomorrow or end up looking at yourself from a new angle!" He drew a line across his neck and shook with laughter.

Gohan glared at the bird in irritation. Goku smiled sheepishly and shrugged his wings. "Whoops."

 _Frustrated beyond belief, the young archer returned to the courtyard where his horse waited for him._

Vegeta snorted at the angry look on Gohan's face. "What happened?"

"Stupid bird baited the Tsar!" Gohan slapped his forehead. "Now I have to go kidnap a princess or die on the morrow! What kind of stupid, selfish, idiotic…" He rambled off into quiet grumbles.

Vegeta chuckled in a horsey fashion. "I told you so! It'll only get worse from here!"

 _The Tsar supplied the young archer with rare gifts of jewelry and clothing to bestow upon the princess to persuade her to come. The blonde was under the impression that no girl could resist such things. He also gave him a bottle of what he claimed to be the purest water from the springs in the castle for her to drink. Gohan was curious about this, because you could buy bottled water anywhere, but did not disobey his monarch. He saddled his horse and rode as fast as he could to the sea._

 _They arrived at the beach about mid-day. Water was as blue as sapphires stretched out as far as the eye could see. On the horizon, they could barely make out the little rowboat that contained the princess._

Gohan looked down at the diamonds and jewels and dresses in his hands. "How is this supposed to attract a princess?"

"What a foolish attempt at flattery." Vegeta scoffed. "This princess is attracted to power."

"Power?"

"Set up an arena." The horse ordered, trotting away to a grassy knoll. "Begin training."

"Training?" Gohan looked aghast at his horse. "How in the world is training supposed to get the princess?"

"Just do it!" Hollered Vegeta. He then bent down and started noshing on grass as horses are wont to do.

Gohan sighed. He put the dresses and gems off to the side and etched out a circle in the sand. He removed his leather jerkin and shirt and began some warm up exercises. He moved into a fighting stance and went through his katas.

He was so focused on doing his normal routine that he failed to notice the little rowboat drawing closer and closer. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a cheerful voice.

"What style is that?"

Gohan turned to face beautiful blue eyes, raven hair, and a beatific smile. He stared at her, breath stolen away. He realized he was staring and a blush suffused his face. He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, well it's… it's a mix Kame style and Demon hand."

"Really?" Curiosity shone in her eyes. "I practice the Satan style myself."

"Oh?" Gohan smiled back at her. "You do martial arts?"

She blushed a little before nodding happily. "Yeah!" She held out a hand. "Name's Videl. Nice to meet you."

He took her hand and shook it. "Gohan. Nice to meet you too."

"So Gohan…" She smirked up at him slyly. "Wanna spar?"

Gohan spared a glance over at his horse. Vegeta gave him the smuggest smirk and he rolled his eyes. He turned back to Videl and grinned. "It would be my pleasure Princess."

 _They sparred for well over half the day. They laughed, they played, and all in all had a lovely time. The two young people barely noticed the passage of time for they were so wrapped in each other's presence. It was growing dark when they finally came to a stop._

"Man!" Videl panted. "You're stronger than I thought!"

Gohan grinned. "You're not so bad yourself!"

She bopped him on the shoulder good naturedly. "Shut up. You didn't even break a sweat." She flopped back on the sand. "I haven't had so much fun in a long time!"

"Same here." Gohan settled beside her. He looked a little nervous. "Princess Videl…"

"Please, just Videl." She beamed at him.

He smiled back briefly. His smile faded as he sighed. "Videl, I have a confession to make." He shook his head. "I wasn't just training on the beach for fun. I was sent here to ask you to come back with me. My Tsar wishes to meet with you."

"Your Tsar?" Videl's brow furrowed. "Why didn't he come himself?"

"Because he's the Tsar." Gohan said bitterly. "He deems it too beneath him to ask you himself. Honestly, I'm to bring you back or be beheaded by tomorrow."

Videl was shocked. "Seriously? What a jerk!"

"I know right?"

"Listen, why don't you speak to my father? He'll be able to sort this out." Videl offered. "Besides, that's no way to treat a great guy like you." She blushed a little and looked away.

Gohan felt heat rise in his face. "Thank you, I'd appreciate that."

"No worries." Videl got up and stretched. "Hey, do you have something to drink? I'm super thirsty after sparring for so long."

"Sure." Gohan walked over to Vegeta and pulled out the water the Tsar gave him. Vegeta watched him suspiciously. "The Tsar sent this water along with me as a gift for you. Something about it being the purest spring water from the castle wells."

"Huh." Videl shrugged, not caring in the slightest. "I guess he's not all bad." She popped off the cap and chugged the water down. She wiped her mouth and recapped the now empty bottle. "Well, I'd better get going." She smiled. "You coming?"

Gohan grinned. "Yes ma'am!" They started towards the boats. Suddenly, Videl let out a loud yawn.

"Man." She said, stretching. "I guess that spar really wore me out." She yawned again. "Gohan, you might have to row me home…" Her eyelids closed and she started to fall.

"Videl!" Gohan leapt forward to catch her. He held her in his arms and turned to his horse. "Vegeta! Something's wrong!"

The horse trotted over. "She was not that weary from your spar." He sniffed her and frowned. "She's been drugged."

"Drugged?!" Gohan exclaimed. "You mean Sharpner _drugged_ the princess?!"

 _He was incensed by the Tsar's audacity, but there was little more Gohan could do than take the princess back to the castle. He cradled her gently in his arms as they thundered back the way they'd come. Nestled up against his chest, she looked like an angel in repose. His heart yearned for her in a way that he didn't quite understand._

 _Eventually he reached the castle._

Gohan carried Videl as if she were fine porcelain as he viciously kicked in the doors to the throne room.

Sharpner looked over from the caged Firebird he was staring at. "Oh good. You found her." He didn't seem all that enthused until he looked at her face. He whistled. "Daaaaaaaaaaang but she's fine. Guess this will work out after all." He ignored Gohan's ire and snapped his fingers at the other servants. "Sound the trumpets! Ring the bells! The princess and I will be married today!"

Gohan stared in astonishment as his fellow servants ran about, sounding trumpets, banging on drums and ringing every bell they could get their hands on. Videl shifted in his arms and he turned his attention to her.

"Gohan?" She cracked her eyes open and mumbled sleepily. "What's going on?"

"Videl." Gohan looked at her mournfully. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? What's all that noise about?" She perked up fully and Gohan set her down. "Where the heck are we?"

"Hey babe!" Sharpner exclaimed. "You're awake! You're in my palace now. The trumpets and bells are merely rejoicing at the news of our wedding!"

"Our WHAT?!"

"Our wedding." Sharpner smiled smugly. "We're getting married."

"Heck no!" Videl shook her fist angrily at the Tsar. "Who in their right mind would wanna marry you, ya creep?!"

"How dare you!?" Sharpner shouted angrily. All the servants stopped making their 'joyful' noises and stared at Videl.

"I dare plenty! You have no right!"

"Right?! I have PLENTY of right!" Sharpner flexed his muscles. "I am handsome, charismatic, and above all, I am blonde!" He glared hatefully at her. "That makes me the Tsar! Marry me, or your home kingdom will be the enemy of this nation!"

Videl was stunned. "You… you…" She shook with anger. She turned to Gohan. "Can't you do something?!" She whispered angrily.

"He's the Tsar." Gohan shook his head, his anger turning to sadness. He pleaded with her. "Please, don't get yourself killed. I wouldn't be able to bear it."

 _There was no love in her eyes for the Tsar. However, when she looked at the young archer, her eyes filled with tears. He captured her heart, for not just anyone was fit to ride the horse of power. He was all she hoped for and more._

She sighed heavily and looked at Gohan with a sudden longing. Then she froze, an idea churning in her mind. Gohan watched curiously as she schooled her features into a princess-ly look and turned back to the blonde Tsar.

"Your Majesty, forgive me for my earlier words, but I cannot marry you."

Sharpner was temporarily mollified. "And why not?"

"My wedding dress." Videl spread her hands. "It was hidden years ago at the bottom of the sea under a great stone. If I cannot wear that dress then I shall not marry anyone at all."

"A dress?" Sharpner scowled. He thrust a finger at Gohan. "Go get it then! You heard what she said! At the bottom of the sea! Quickly! Or I will have your head served to the Firebird on a platter!"

Goku, who was in the cage against his will, made a face. "Gross."

 _The young archer despaired. It was already impossible to get the dress at the bottom of the sea from under a huge stone, but even if he got it she'd still marry the Tsar. Wearily he dragged himself back out to the courtyard and leaned up against his horse, pressing his forehead into the great horse's side._

Vegeta growled, but bore the weight of his charge. "What is it now?"

"There's no way I'm getting out of this one." Gohan's voice was muffled. "I die if I attempt to get the dress, I die if I can't get the dress." His shoulders slumped in defeat. "And even if I somehow _do_ get the dress, she marries him. I couldn't live with that."

Vegeta snorted. "Why not?"

"Because I… Because I lo-" Gohan stuttered. He'd fallen in love with her.

The horse of power whinnied. "You've got to be kidding me." He sighed. "Come, brat. Let's get your woman a dress. It's all downhill from here anyways."

 _He leapt onto the horse of power and went thundering back to the beach. The young archer kept his thoughts on the task ahead. He tried hard to push aside his doubts and worries about how he would be able to accomplish this feat. The more he thought about it, it seemed all the more impossible. They reached the sea and he stared sadly out over the water, thinking about Videl. His horse, however, studied the shore._

"Well well." Vegeta smirked. "What have we here?"

 _Crawling along the beach was the biggest lobster in the world. It was blue and had long antennae. It was really the Tsar of all lobsters. It was majestic in a way, but more than anything, it would've probably tasted good with butter._

Vegeta casually placed himself between the lobster and the sea. The lobster trundled by and as if by accident, Vegeta stepped on his tail with his powerful iron hoof.

"AAAAAGH!" King Kai, the lobster, howled in pain. "You jerk! Get off my tail!"

"No." Vegeta smirked evilly.

"It hurts so bad!" King Kai thrashed around. "You're the worst!"

Gohan looked down at his horse, frowning in disapproval. "Vegeta, let the guy go. He hasn't done anything."

Vegeta growled warningly, but King Kai piped up. "Yeah! The kid's right! I didn't do anything!" He whined. "Let me go!"

"Fine!" Vegeta snarled. "Pathetic weakling, if you value your life then you will do as I say!"

"Let me go first you ingrate!"

Vegeta trod a little harder on the lobster's tail before releasing him. King Kai rubbed his sore tail woefully and looked up at the big meanie of a horse.

"Whaddaya want from me?"

Vegeta sneered at the lobster. "At the bottom of the sea, beneath a great stone, lies the dress of the Princess Videl. Bring it to us."

"Alright, alright. Jeez." The lobster dusted himself off. "But first you have to make me laugh."

Gohan looked curiously at the lobster. "Make you laugh?"

"Yeah. Ya see, I don't do work for free." King Kai shrugged. "If you can make me laugh I'll do it gladly."

Gohan tilted his head to the side in thought. He snapped his fingers. "Do you know the famous martial artist Bruce Li?" The lobster nodded. "What's his favorite drink?"

King Kai shrugged his little crustacean shoulders. "I don't know."

"WattAAH!"

Silence. Vegeta wanted to facepalm, but couldn't because he was a horse.

"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffhahahahahahahahahahaha!" King Kai laughed uproariously. "That is so STUPID! AHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahaaa!" Eventually his laughter dissolved into disproportionate giggles. "Okay… heehee… okay… ahhhhahahahah… okay… I'll get the dress for ya." He sniggered. He put a claw to his mouth and let out a shrill whistle. Soon, lobsters from all across the sea crawled onto the beach, clambering over each other in their haste to answer King Kai's call.

"Alright you lot. Go get the dress or whatever." King Kai waved a claw and the lobsters hurried back onto the sea. A few hours later, they dragged an ornate sea chest up onto the shore. King Kai handed the chest to Gohan and scuttled back into the sea with his brethren.

 _Once the dress was in his possession, the young archer turned the horse of power about and ran for the palace. The princess was waiting for him when he arrived._

"You… you found it." Videl looked up at him in awe. "How did you…?"

"Lobsters." Gohan grinned ruefully. "Don't ask."

She giggled lightly at him before quieting. He passed her the chest and she said, "Thank you." Love colored her words, making them soft and heartfelt.

He met her gaze and nodded, not trusting himself to speak. His heart ached in his chest as he watched her leave the room to change. When she returned, he couldn't help himself. His jaw dropped open.

She was fairer than spring itself.

Videl caught his eyes and smiled. "How do I look?" She asked him shyly.

Before he could answer, Sharpner burst into the room. He took one look at her and laughed. "Wow! You're one smokin' hot babe!" He smirked at her lecherously. "Let's not keep you waiting then!" He turned from her and called to his servants. "You there! Serving idiots! Get me my wedding cloak! Fetch the royal priest! Let's get this show on the road!" He turned back to Videl and offered her his hand.

She looked at it like it was the doody that her dog might've left on the carpet.

Sharpner's grin shrank. "What's the matter babe? Got cold feet?"

Videl shook with restrained anger. She whirled to Gohan and whispered, "Do you trust me?" Gohan, though surprised, nodded. He did indeed trust her. She smiled and turned back to Tsar Sharpner. "I'm afraid I cannot. The man who brought me here must do penance for taking me away from my kingdom."

Gohan swallowed nervously. This wasn't going to end well.

"Oh? Is that all?" Sharpner smiled condescendingly at Videl. "What is his punishment to be?"

"He's supposed to do battle with my-"

"Boiled alive it is!"

"WHAT?!" Videl's shocked exclamation startled everyone. "I didn't say-"

"Filthy Servants!" Sharpner snapped his fingers. "Prepare an iron cauldron and boil me some water."

 _The princess tried to rectify the mistake, but the Tsar could not be swayed. He held no gratitude in his heart for the valiant young archer. He was dead set on throwing him into the hottest boiling water he could get. The servants prepared a mighty fire into the center of which was placed a large cauldron. The fire roared in intensity, the water seethed and bubbled. His soldiers surrounded the young archer and prepared to throw him in._

"Hold up!" Gohan protested. "Wait just a second!"

"What do you want, knave?" Sharpner complained, irritated.

"My Tsar, I will not complain about my penance." Gohan set his jaw. "However, I ask that you let me see to my horse before I am thrown to the water to die."

"Your horse?" The blonde Tsar put a hand to his chin. "That's no problem, seeing as I get it once you're dead." He waved his soldiers away. "Go say goodbye to your pony. Be quick about it."

 _The young archer crossed the courtyard and met with the horse of power. He reasoned that even if he was condemned to die, he could at least let his horse of power free to return to his wife. Bulma, his mate, would be angry if he was taken by the Tsar._

"CALL ME A PONY WILL HE?!" Vegeta was inconsolable. He stamped and reared ferociously. "Insufferable FOOL! I'll tear him apart! I'll water the ground with his blood! I'll-"

"Yeah yeah." Gohan patted the horse's side sadly, despite the bucking. "I'll miss you too."

Vegeta stilled. "Brat…You're not leaving."

"Yeah, I am." Gohan sighed miserably. "I'm going to be boiled alive. Not quite how I wanted to die." He smiled regretfully. "We'll never again be able to race the wind and do battle with our enemies. It wasn't so bad, you know?"

Vegeta snorted. "You give up too easily."

"At least you'll be free." Gohan reached up to unfasten the saddle. Vegeta shied out of his way.

"Don't be stupid." He growled. "You're a weakling to be giving up now."

"Vegeta." Gohan pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I don't have time for this. I'm going to set you free and then I am going to die."

"You're no warrior!" Vegeta snapped at him. "You cannot even face death head on! Turn and face it like a man!"

Gohan grit his teeth and tried to hold on to his patience. "Shut your face! I'm _trying_ to do the honorable thing here!"

"There is nothing honorable in trying to prolong the inevitable!" Vegeta skipped out of his reach. "You will die like the pathetic scum that you are! You couldn't even protect your woman!"

"Vegeta!" Gohan's eyes burned in anger. "Take that back!"

"Your woman will suffer at the hands of that fool! Just imagine her anguish once he controls her father's kingdom!" Vegeta smiled ruthlessly. "You will be powerless to stop him when he uses her then casts her aside like an old rag!"

"SHUT UP!" Gohan screamed. A power, hidden within him, started to seep around the edges of his mind. An unnatural wind blew around him furiously, but he remained oblivious to it.

Vegeta looked at his young charge in satisfaction. "Go. Run fearlessly into the cauldron. Prove me wrong!"

"FINE!" Gohan spun about and charged back into the courtroom. He threw himself into the cauldron of boiling water, ignorant of the gasps and shouts of alarm from the servants in his rage. They watched as the flames engulfed him. He was lost to view as the water bubbled up around him, covering his body completely.

"Woah." Sharpner's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "Didn't expect that." He turned back to Videl who he had been shamelessly flirting with. Her hands covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes. "Now, where were we?"

She turned away from him. "You're a monster."

"Nah." Sharpner grinned, pulling her close. "I'm a Tsar."

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!"

 _Imagine their surprise when the young archer leapt from the cauldron and ripped the Tsar away from the princess. All who saw him cried aloud in wonder. The dirt and grime from the outdoors were washed away. His handsome features were plain to see. Even more astounding was the fact that his hair was now blonde._

 _Golden spikes of hair waved in the wind filling the room. Turquoise eyes drilled into the Tsar, daring him to move. Power practically radiated from him._

"It's… It's not possible!" Sharpner stuttered. "You should be dead!"

"Look!" Cried one of the servants, pointing to Gohan's head. "He is blonde! Far blonder than the Tsar!"

Sharpner's eyes widened. "No! It cannot be! There's no one in the kingdom blonder than me!"

Gohan ignored him and instead took Videl's hands in his own. "I love you Videl." He said softly. "Will you marry me?"

Videl looked into his eyes and marveled. She sighed in happiness. "Yes."

"No! Not fair!" Sharpner threw a tantrum. "I am the Tsar! You're supposed to marry me!" He pointed at Gohan. "You tricked me! You used bleach in the cauldron! That's how you got so blonde! You're a cheater! Guards! SEIZE HIM!"

The servants looked from one to another. There was a man blonder than the Tsar. A man who was able to ride the horse of power. A man who brought back the great Firebird alive. A man the princess evidently loved. A man who actually cared for his fellow servants. They turned away from Sharpner and whistled or checked their watches.

"AAAAARGH!" Sharpner tore off his shirt. "I'll show you! I'll become blonder than that guy!" He turned and charged towards the fire and the cauldron. The onlookers watched in horror as he threw himself into the boiling water.

Needless to say, he didn't come back out.

 _So how'd the story end? They threw out the Sharpner soup and made the young archer into the new Tsar. His first decree was to throw out the notion that only a blonde could rule the nation. The people knew then that he was the proper choice of a leader. He married the beautiful princess and lived many years with her in love and good fellowship._

 _As for the horse of power, the new Tsar built him a stable as grand as any palace for him and his family. They still ride together in battle and the horse still bickers with the Firebird. In other words, they all lived happily ever after for the rest of their days._

 ** _The End._**


	4. The Little Mermaid

_**The Little Mermaid**_  
Based on the Story by Hans Christian Anderson (and Disney) and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Vegeta, Bulma, Goku, Vegeta Sr., Frieza, Mr. and Mrs. Briefs, Yamucha.

Requested by Rinfantasy. It's quite long, but I hope you like it!

 _ **A dramatic Vegeta/Bulma fic.**_

* * *

Far out in the deepest ocean, beyond the oceanic current sensors, farther than the schooner trips and fishing tours, outside the range of cruise ships, dwells the Sea King. Beneath the crystal clear waters his grand kingdom lies adorned in rare gems and pearls the size of which no one has ever seen. Its walls are well fortified, but a great manner of life streams in, out, and around the city. Fish of all shapes, sizes, and colors dwell alongside its citizens. The citizens themselves are…

"Mermaids!" Shrieked the little girl. "Mermaids mermaids mermaids!"

"Now now Bulma," her father chuckled, "this is a story to get you to sleep. Not a true story!"

"Well… I'm gonna make it true!" Little Bulma stuck out her bottom lip. "I'm gonna prove that mermaids exist!"

"Sure you are honey." Dr. Briefs grinned. "Though I think you'd rather work on my new invention."

"You have a new one?!" She leapt out of bed excitedly. "Can I see it? What's it do? What system does it run on? How are the routers-"

"Tomorrow sweetie! Tomorrow!" Dr. Briefs laughed. "Good heavens! I can't even get through your bedtime story!"

"Sorry Daddy." Bulma snuggled back under the covers, looking up at her father with big baby blue eyes.

The scientist smiled through his mustache. "Okay, now where was I? Oh yes… the mermaids lived in the kingdom and prospered under the reign of their mighty king…"

 ***Years later***

"Alright guys, here's the deal!" Bulma shouted over the roaring waves to her crew. "This is our last day out here so let's not waste any time! We're testing the submersible's durability in bad weather, so I want all hands at their positions! You knew as well as I do that these are the roughest seas in the world! Let's move it!"

The men scrambled to their positions as the boat bucked furiously under their feet. The sky blackened and rumbled a warning of the swiftly coming storm. Bulma Briefs, blue hair blowing wildly in the wind, stood her ground amidships, pulling out capsule containers labeled T, V, and W.

"Test batch T!" She hollered into her microphone, hoping it could record her voice over the storm. "Capsule 1 initiated!" She pulled the capsule out of the case and hurled it into the waves. She waited for the familiar 'BOM' of the capsule opening.

Nothing. She dashed over to another crew member sitting at a console. "Results?!"

"Negative Ma'am! Failure to open! The capsule must've been dented on impact with the waves!"

She cursed and pulled another out of the case. "Capsule 1 failed!" She dashed back to the railing. "Capsule 2 Initiated!" She threw the capsule at the ocean. She dashed back to the console. "Status!?"

"Opened, but not transmitting! The storm must've knocked the sensors loose or something!"

"AUGH!" She ran back to the railing. "Test batch T failed! Moving on to test batch V!" She hurled two more capsules into the sea, with similar results. Cursing quite foully, she pulled out test batch W.

"Miss Briefs!" A crewman interrupted her, running up beside her. "Miss Briefs, the storm is too strong! We need to head back to the mainland!"

"No way!" Bulma shouted through the rain. "I've got one more batch! I am NOT leaving until I test this sucker out!" She yanked out one of the two capsules and hurled it into the waves. "Capsule 1 initiated!"

"Miss Briefs!" The crewman shouted angrily at her. "We don't have time! This boat wasn't meant to withstand storms like this! We have to get out, NOW!"

"STATUS!" She screamed, ignoring the crewman.

"Positive ma'am! It opened and is transmitting!" He screamed back. "It's weak, but it's working!"

"YES!" Bulma did a small victory dance. "FINALLY!"

Her jubilation died on her lips. Bulma was thrown from her feet as a powerful surge of seawater knocked the boat on its side. The crewman beside her was thrown to the railing. He watched in horror as Bulma was swept into the raging sea.

 ***Hours later***

Light burned through Bulma's eyelids. She let out a feeble moan and rubbed her face with the back of her hand. It grated against her skin. _Sand?_ Bulma cracked open her eyes. The sun shone bright overhead, blinding her. She shut her eyes against the glare. _What… what happened? I was on the boat and then…_ Her head spun in dizzying circles. It was hard to remember anything. It was even worse with the sun so bright.

Suddenly shade eased her eyes. She sighed in relief. Her baby blues slowly opened to see who was giving the shade.

A man. A beautiful man hovered above her. His handsome face, scrunched in worry, smoothed in relief as she looked at him. His eyes captured hers almost immediately. The twin pools of infinity sparkled in the sunlight. Her eyes drifted up to his hair which, even while dripping wet, somehow stood straight up to a flame point.

And sweet Kami alive his muscles!

Bulma tore her eyes from the incredibly sculpted frame. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a croaking noise emerged.

"Don't speak." The man spoke softly over her. "Your people are coming." He smiled at her and Bulma's poor heart did a triple back flip. "You were in danger, but you're safe now." His deep voice sent soothing waves of calm over her. Her eyes filled up with tears of relief and gratefulness. The man nodded and put a finger to his lips.

Then like a summer breeze, he vanished. Bulma heard splashing, but couldn't raise her head to see where he'd gone. Her ears picked up the faint sounds of shouting and soon the sounds of running feet. She turned her head to see a search party coming toward her. They called her name and she felt like crying.

Bulma was shipwrecked, battered and exhausted. Worst of all, she didn't even know his name.

 ***Elsewhere***

"Vegeta!" Goku called over. "Where ya been buddy? King's been looking for you everywhere!"

Vegeta ignored him as he swam past.

The muscular merman called Goku caught up with him in a second. "You weren't visiting the surface again were you? You know what kind of trouble you were in last time you did that."

"Shut _up_ Kakkarot." Vegeta growled halfheartedly.

"Did you see the ship that sank? It must've been a little schooner or something. No idea what it was doing way out here." Goku shrugged. "No bodies this time. I'm glad everyone made it out okay."

"I said shut UP!" Vegeta flicked his tail and shot into the deep. He didn't want to talk about it. Especially since he just broke another one of his father's cardinal rules. His powerful form cut through the water, outdistancing Goku in a matter of seconds. He slowed when he reached the sea floor, choosing to skim the bottom rather than fight the currents above him. He remained silent as Goku eventually caught up to him.

"Vegetaaaaah. C'mon. What's the matter?" Goku looked over at him, concerned. "Was it me again?"

Vegeta laughed. "It's always you Kakkarot!" They'd been rivals and close friends for as long as either could remember, though if you asked Vegeta he'd never admit it. The prince looked down at the sand beneath him and frowned. "But no. It wasn't you this time."

Goku groaned. "Please don't tell me you beat up another dolphin."

Vegeta smirked. Cocky little jerks deserved it. "No, I didn't." His smirk faded. "It was something else."

Goku looked thoughtful. He did lazy flips through the water as they swam along the seabed. "Did it have something to do with that ship?" Vegeta stiffened and Goku nodded. "I knew it. Don't tell me _you_ were the reason it sank?"

"No!" Vegeta spat. His father may despise humans, but he certainly didn't. Well, not all humans anyway. He looked off to the side grumpily. "The storm did that."

"Ahuh." Goku did a loop around Vegeta. "Well, whatever you did, your father ain't gonna be happy with it."

 _Tell me something I don't know._ Vegeta grunted. He headed off in another direction and Goku let him go. "See you back at the palace." Goku called cheerily. Vegeta raised a hand in acknowledgement. He swam steadily until Goku was out of sight. Positive he wasn't followed, Vegeta dropped down a ravine and kicking his powerful fin, sped into a near invisible alcove in the cliff side.

He let out a sigh of relief and swam through the small tunnel barely wide enough for his broad shoulders. He emerged into a tall underwater cave. Using his ki, Vegeta sent small lights floating upward until the whole room was illuminated.

The entire cavern was filled with things. Weapons and trophies, armor and shields, small scales and shining stones covered the walls and shelves all around him. If you looked closer, you could see watches and books, computer chips and wiring, a camera and monitor, paintings and maps, and other things you wouldn't normally see underwater.

Vegeta relaxed. This was a place he'd come to since he was but a guppy. His secret place. It seemed phenomenally huge then, but was oddly comfortable. Even now, impossibly filled with things, it still gave off that comforting feel. He stretched out in the middle of the room and started into a warm up. He needed to limber up for what he was about to do.

As he exercised, he let his mind wander. The prince scowled. He hadn't really meant to save her, but he couldn't just let her drown. That woman, the blue haired one, dared the harshest seas for a week, just to test out her... thingies. Vegeta frowned. What were those things? They started out so small, yet exploded in size in mere moments. He thought to the one he'd picked up earlier. It was in a strange looking case and, while he was tempted, he didn't open it.

He continued in his kata, thinking. Why would the blue one challenge the toughest ocean for those things? How important were they? What were they? Who was she? Questions unanswered filled his mind. He'd noticed the humans as soon as they arrived there. He watched them for days, hoping to learn something from them. The blue woman captured his attention immediately. She'd commanded the others with such surety. He admired her. It didn't help that she was beautiful for a human. He shook his head at himself. His father would surely kill him for thinking that.

Even though it was true.

He finished his kata with a huff. There was so much more out there to see. To learn. Why wouldn't his father let him go? Vegeta nodded. He'd use this chance to try and persuade the king.

He floated over to his armor and adorned himself with the chest plate and mail. He picked up his knife made of the hardest coral found in the kingdom and placed it in the strap around his back. Reaching down, he set his tail with eight dark pearls of rank. As a final touch, he pulled out a necklace on which hung the largest shark tooth anyone in the kingdom had ever seen. It was his greatest trophy, for not many mer-people could fight with a megolodon and live.

He gave it a once over and looped it around his neck. Better to take luck with you if you were sure it wasn't where you were going. He turned and left the comforting place, allowing the ki lights to flicker out and return to him. He sighed and looked up at the surface. It was going to be a long day.

 ***Hours later***

"Have you gone completely insane?!"

Vegeta scowled at his father's words.

"You have not only disobeyed my law for the hundredth time, but you have saved one of those foul creatures to boot!" King Vegeta glared at his son heatedly. "They are nothing but monsters, polluting the seas with their filth! We have to go around, fixing what they break! What could've possessed you boy?!"

Vegeta set his jaw and glared right back at his father. "I am no boy." He growled.

"You act like a boy, so a boy you shall remain!" The king shouted angrily. "Disobey me again and I'll have you thrown out of my kingdom!"

"What kingdom?!" Vegeta shouted back. "This is no kingdom! We stagnate! We do not fight as we once did! There is nothing new for us down here in the depths! How can you not see that we are being weakened by your stubbornness about what lies above the surface?!"

"SILENCE!" The King roared. "I will not tolerate this kind of insubordination!" He raised a hand and pointed at Vegeta. "Don't think I won't banish you, boy!"

"And what?" Vegeta laughed scornfully. "You think you _can_? I dwarf you in power! Heck, _Kakkarot_ , dwarfs you in power and he's dumber than a rock!"

A faint "Hey!" was heard from the crowd. The mer-people gathered around chuckled. Everyone had gathered to hear their king and prince argue. They watched eagerly to see if the king and prince would get in a fistfight again.

The king glared balefully at the crowd before sighing. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "We do this every time you disobey me. EVERY time. Why do you dishonor me?"

Vegeta pulled out the capsule carry case. "I meant what I said. We are becoming weak. We need to know what the humans know." He pulled out the capsule and hit the button on top, much like the woman did. He tossed it in front of him and waited. It gave out a lout 'BOM' and burst in a flurry of bubbles. The mer-people around him cried out and scattered, but the king leaned forward fascinated.

The prince gestured at the device that whirred and clicked before them. "I found this on the human I rescued. It is beyond anything I've ever seen. If they are capable of this, how much more do they know? We can learn from them!"

The king narrowed his eyes at the submersible. He swiftly lifted a hand and shot a narrow stream of ki at it. It pierced the sub and carried through to the other side. Vegeta watched in surprise, as the clicking and whirring stopped. It sank to the sea floor and he glared angrily at his father, demanding an explanation.

"It is a spy." King Vegeta pointed to the remains. "They have created these machines to go deep beneath the seas in order to find us and capture us." He looked to his subjects gathered around them. "If anyone sees one of these things, or one that looks similar, you are to destroy it on sight. No one is to engage it directly. Keep to its back or sides where you cannot be seen." He looked seriously at his son. "And NO ONE is to engage with its operators. Are we clear?"

Vegeta stared at his father. _That fool…_ He nodded stiffly and spun about, swimming out of the courtroom.

"And Vegeta." The prince stopped and turned to face his father defiantly. The king smirked at him. "Remember that I am still king. You are still my son. However unruly and immature you may be."

Prince Vegeta smiled graciously and raised his hand. He went for a salute, but it swiftly turned into a rather rude gesture. The courtroom was filled with laughter as he swam away. This kind of thing was common between the King and his only son. Everyone knew and loved the prince. Many of the ladies fancied him, but he never really showed interest in anything except the surface world. Though his defiant ways had saved them time and time again, the king tried desperately to keep his son under his thumb. They had a tendency to fight at the drop of a hat.

Goku, however, knew that something had changed. Vegeta had been serious. This was not one of those times he had disobeyed his father for the heck of it. For the thrill of the fight. He swam after his friend, hoping that he wasn't about to do something stupid.

 ***Hours later***

"You're not seriously thinking about it are you!?" Goku spread his hands in supplication. "Frieza was banished for a reason! You can't go out and ask that scumbag for help!"

"I'm not asking for his help Kakkarot." Vegeta tossed his royal pearls to the side. "I'm threatening him for his help."

"Don't do this Vegeta! Just go let off some steam. Go punch some dolphins or something!" Goku pleaded with his friend. "What you're thinking about doing is… is…"

Vegeta looked up from removing his armor, slightly amused. "Treason?"

"Treason! That's the word!" Goku stared at his friend. "You can't tell me that this is one of your stupid attempts at rebellion!"

Vegeta returned the glare. "It's not." He said, voice controlled. "I mean to go up there and learn what I can about the humans. If we don't change our way of life down here, we will go extinct."

"We won't go extinct! We live way longer than those humans do!" Goku frowned. "That's not the only reason is it?"

Vegeta looked away. An image of long blue hair and bright blue eyes overpowered his thoughts. Shaking his head, he grunted. "It's none of your business."

Goku tilted his head and studied his friend. A mischievous grin crossed his face. "The girl?"

Vegeta glared at Goku. "No!"

"The girl!"

"NO!"

"You like the girl!" Goku flipped out of Vegeta's reach. "You're going after the girl!"

"SHUT _UP_ KAKKAROT!" Vegeta chased after his friend. They sped in dizzying circles around Vegeta's bedroom. "I am NOT going after some human!"

"Vegeta's got a girlfriend! Vegeta's got a giiirlfrieeeeend!"

Vegeta let out a shout and hit Goku square in the solar plexus. Goku doubled over and sank to the floor, that infuriating grin still on his face. The prince leaned over close to him. His eyes were dangerous, but a blush stained his cheeks.

"Not a word, or you die."

Goku smiled. He made a zipping motion across his mouth and threw away an invisible key. This didn't do much to encourage Vegeta, so he punched him in the ribs for good measure. Smirking at his rival's discomfort, he put his knife in its sheath and left the palace. He headed for a certain lagoon to see a certain scumbag about the surface.

 ***Days later***

"Hello Prince Vegeta." The scornful voice seemed to echo in the cavernous hole. "What an honor to have such a royal guest."

"Cut the crap Frieza." Vegeta flicked scum off his shoulder. "Let's talk business."

"Business? Oh, what could the prince of the entire ocean want with an outcast such as I?" The pale form of Frieza slithered forward. The sickly white and purple of his skin mixed together to form eight gently undulating tentacles. He held up a hand. "But wait, you're here about making a trip to the surface world."

Vegeta watched him carefully. This scumbag was detestable and slimy, but strong. Had he not been banished, half the kingdom would be in ruin. "How did you know that?" His voice, deep and resonant, made Frieza frown.

"I have my ways." He said, a smile returning to his pale face. "What do you want from me?"

"I know you can change people into other forms." Vegeta scowled. It was one of the reasons he was banished in the first place. "Make me human."

Frieza smiled more sinisterly. "Oh of course your majesty. But, I'm sure you already know I don't do my work for free."

Of course he knew that! Vegeta crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"I will prepare a potion for you," Frieza went on as if he hadn't heard the prince, "that will change your tail into legs like the humans have. You'll be as swift and graceful on land as you are in the sea. However, since I can't change you permanently, you'll feel pain with every step. Like you were walking on knives. Your feet will bleed horribly."

Vegeta paled slightly, but nodded and said again, "What do you want?"

Frieza continued as before. "The potion will last for 3 days. During that time, learn as much or as little as you wish. I care not for that sort of thing. However, if you are to find that girl of yours and keep your legs, you must make her kiss you."

Vegeta stared at the pale scumbag. "Kiss me? Since when are you a romantic?"

Frieza frowned. "I'm not. The kiss swaps enough DNA to make the change last longer. If she kisses you, and I mean really kisses you as if she loves you, you will remain human. If 3 days pass and she does not, you return to the sea and die."

Vegeta looked at him sharply. "And what?"

"Die." Frieza said simply, showing his sharpened teeth. "Meaning your life is forfeit. You will return to mer-form and I will come to collect you. Then, you will belong to me to do with as I please."

Vegeta growled, "I belong to no one."

"Regardless, your body will have a hard time with the change. I have the medicines you will need to stay alive." Frieza smiled slyly. "You will need me. Thus, you will remain my servant until your body expires. That is my deal."

The prince stared at Frieza for a long time, silent. He scowled at nothing in particular and turned his back on the outcast. "Fine. I'll take your deal."

"Excellent." Frieza grinned. "I'll mix it up in just a moment, but first I need something from you."

"What more could you possibly need!" Vegeta snarled. "I've already promised you my life should I fail."

"Oh no no, dear prince." Frieza swam to the back of the hole and pulled out various noxious liquids sealed in bottles. "Those were the terms of the agreement. You might survive this and I receive nothing! I am asking for a down payment." He tossed a few into a cauldron where they smashed and mixed together in the seawater. "Nothing important really. Just your voice."

"My voice?" Vegeta looked at him incredulously. "How am I supposed to communicate without it?"

"Your voice is one that resonates through the sea like nothing I've ever heard." It was true. His deep tones swayed even the heart of the leviathan. He had a heck of a time rejecting all the love letters. "You believe you'll persuade the blue woman once you get up there, but if you speak, the resonance will break apart the subtle changes I'm making to your DNA. Besides, you've got your looks, those deep dark eyes of yours, how graceful you will be on your feet. What human could resist? Unless, of course, you don't think you can do it?"

Freiza let out a grunt of surprise as he found himself forced to the wall, the sharp blade of coral held at his neck.

Vegeta's voice was soft and foreboding. "I do not fear you. Don't make the same mistake of insulting me again."

Frieza swallowed nervously. Had the king not stripped him of his ki… He pushed the knife away slowly. "I meant no offense, my prince." He floated back to the cauldron which was now simmering with color. He turned and stared at Vegeta, the colors making his face eerily haunting. "Do we have a deal?"

Vegeta stared him down. Slowly he nodded.

 ***Hours later***

Vegeta awoke lying on the shore. His head pounded with pain. He looked up at the bright sunny day and frowned in thought. _What happened?_ He shielded his eyes from the sun and sat up. He'd come here at midnight to drink the potion. It was the last place he saw the blue haired woman, so he figured this would be the best place to start looking.

He massaged his temples. The transformation had been horrible. Upon swallowing the draught, terrible stabbing pain lanced through his body, knocking him unconscious. He didn't think it would last so long or be so intense. He was out for the entire night! _This had better have been worth it_ , he thought murderously.

And was it? Hesitantly, the prince looked down at where his tail should be. Two tanned legs stretched beneath him, smooth and as muscular as the rest of his physique. He looked down at them in fascination. Slowly he lifted one leg and wiggled the toes experimentally. He swung the knee back and forth, watching it bend. Tentatively he tried levering himself up on the strange things.

And promptly fell on his naked rear.

 _Humans actually walk on these things?_ Vegeta scowled at the legs. _How useless._ He frowned in frustration. He had to figure out how these stupid things worked.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, he flipped over and rested on his knees. Slowly, he brought his feet forward and stood up. Immediately, pain shot through his feet and fire seared up his legs. He gasped in pain and fell back to a kneeling position. He panted, caught by surprise by the sudden pain. He knew it would be bad, but not _that_ bad.

His mouth moved in a silent cuss. That scumbag probably made the potion worse on purpose. He paused. Again his mouth moved in a silent phrase. Vegeta grit his teeth. Not having a voice made foul language really unsatisfying. Fighting back the urge to scream, albeit silently, he once again levered himself to a standing position. The muscles in his legs rippled as he fought to find his balance. It was difficult at first. Fighting the pain and trying to stay focused on being upright.

He hadn't realized how being on land was very different to being in the ocean. It felt like he was being constantly pulled downward. It was so foreign compared to the consistent weightlessness of being under the sea. Yet after a few tries and agonizing minutes later, Vegeta stood firm on the wet sand. He crossed his arms and smirked in triumph. Take that dry ground! You'll never get the best of Prince Vegeta!

Now to try walking…

 ***Meanwhile***

Bulma plodded along the beach, lost in thought. All that work… those months sweating in the lab… those missed dinner parties… gone! All that effort wasted in one stupid storm. _Hubris,_ she thought wryly, _thy name is Bulma_.

She sighed, brushing a few errant strands of blue hair behind her ear. She'd bitten off more than she could chew. Who knew that coming to the roughest waters in the world for a capsule test would be anything but ingenious? She probably should've done a few other tests before the hardest one of them all.

Bulma stared at her feet as she walked. Things could've gone much worse. She supposed that she should be thankful that no one was seriously injured. Herself included. Though that didn't stop her father and boyfriend from giving her the royal chewing out. She scowled. Yamucha, who had been failing to call her these past months while she was out of the country, suddenly felt he had the right to lecture her on the need to stay in contact. _Overprotective mother hens. I'm a grown woman! I can take care of myself!_

A memory passed through her mind. Dark eyes staring at her, concerned. A deep melodic voice, rumbling in reassurance. She blushed. _Well, most of the time, anyway._ She'd scoured the island, searching for the man who rescued her. But she couldn't find him. Had he just been a dream? A figment of her imagination? Her parents certainly thought so.

She sighed in frustration, kicking the sand irritably. This trip had turned out to be a complete waste of time and resources and here she was moping over some guy. She was a successful business woman and genius inventor. Rich, beautiful, impeccable sense of fashion, heck she even had a boyfriend for pity's sake!

An on again, off again, never calls to save his life type of boyfriend. She scowled at the waves. Yamucha had the tendency to let his eyes wander. It made her feel terrible. Wasn't she a good enough girlfriend for him? Bulma huffed. She could _totally_ do better.

The blue haired genius sighed. Maybe she shouldn't be so harsh on Yamucha. She just had high standards. That's all. She tried to think of Yamucha's good points, but all thoughts in her brain ground to a screeching halt as she rounded a small outcropping of stone.

Naked man.

On the beach.

Running around like an idiot.

This would usually have the blue haired genius gagging and running for the hills. Maybe even calling the cops. But this guy…

Sweet Kami in drag.

Her eyes raked greedily over the gracefully running form. The muscles, so well defined, shone faintly with a thin sheen of sweat in the sunlight. She flicked her gaze up and saw his hair. It was like a flame of midnight. The light of recognition came into her eyes and before she knew it, she had stepped around the rock and was shouting.

"It's you!"

Surprise took the man from his feet. He tripped quite gracefully, if anyone can manage that, and smacked face first into the sand. He rolled about comically for a few seconds before righting himself and looking around furiously. His eyes settled on her and his expression changed. A smile flashed across his face, causing Bulma's heart to race. It vanished as he calmly and slowly rose to his feet. He made his way over to Bulma, wincing slightly as though walking was difficult.

He stood before her and folded his arms over his impressive chest. He was barely an inch taller than Bulma, if you didn't count his hair. A massive shark tooth hung from a cord around his neck.

"It's you… right?" Bulma said, trying not to stare. "You're the one who saved me, right?" He shook his head in affirmative. Bulma, though hopeful, was not convinced. She continued with a barrage of questions. "Who are you? What are you doing here? Why the heck are you naked?!"

The dark eyed man opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He scowled at his feet, obviously frustrated. He made several motions with his hands, as if trying to tell a story, but Bulma couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Her heart sank. "You can't speak?"

He frowned, shaking his head no.

Disappointment flooded her. She sighed heavily. "Then I was wrong. I guess you aren't him." He facepalmed, but she ignored it. She looked away shyly. He was still naked. "Were you shipwrecked or something? That storm a few days ago was really bad. That's the only reason I can think as to why you don't have any clothes."

He tilted his head at her, confused. Bulma frowned. "Do you even speak English? Naked. NAY-KED. No clothes." She pulled off her jacket and tossed it to him. He caught and studied it, a look of understanding coming over him. He turned slightly pink as he looked down at his nakedness. She blushed harder. "Just put it on!" It was a stylishly big jacket. Luckily it was long enough for him to cover his needs, if tight across the chest and arms.

Quickly, he slid his arms into the sleeves. He frowned at Bulma and cinched it around his waist fully covering himself. She breathed in relief. At last some decency. Bad enough she'd have daydreams about those abs. She reached over and patted him on the shoulder. "Finally. Now, let's get you back to civilization. Find you some help."

He caught her hand as Bulma pulled away. His dark eyes burned into hers as he lifted it to his mouth and kissed it gently. Face once again ignited in a burning blush, Bulma turned and started down the beach. Whoever this guy was, he'd certainly made an impression.

 ***Later***

"Well then! Who is this strapping young fellow?"

Vegeta tilted his head at the old man. This was an odd one. Lavender hair, white mustache, he had a small animal resting on his shoulder. It made strange noises. Vegeta vaguely wondered if it was something they used for food.

The prince surveyed the room he'd been brought to. Frankly, he was amazed that the island had so many wonders on its surface. Granted he'd seen this all from a distance and guessed to the nature of the buildings, but he'd never imagined the interior looking like this! It felt like he was back in his father's kingdom. The flora and fauna of the island mimicked the underwater paradise where he was raised. Granted, it had a different kind of splendor, but it was nice all the same.

The woman hadn't spoken much while they walked, except to lead the way to this dwelling. Speaking of the blue one… He glanced sidelong at her. She caught his gaze and blushed gently, opting to study the room instead. He smirked. Good to know she liked him with legs.

"Bulma, where is he from? What is his name?" The old man looked him up and down. "Why is he only wearing your overcoat?"

 _Her name is Bulma?_ Vegeta chuckled silently. _What a strange name._

"Dad, I have no idea. I found him on the beach, running around in the buff." Bulma massaged her temples tiredly. "He can't speak, so I have no idea who he is or where he lives. Is he a native from another island? Was he shipwrecked? Does he have-"

"Oh my! What a _handsome_ young man!"

Vegeta startled slightly as another woman entered the room. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as the fluffy blonde woman charged toward him. She came much too close for comfort and he took a few steps back out of self preservation.

The blue one, Bulma, smirked at his discomfort. "Mom, this is… our guest."

"Well! Isn't he _gorgeous!_ " The mom whirled on Bulma. "Where on earth did you find him? Are there more?"

Vegeta took another step back, a look of terror crossing his face. Bulma outright laughed at him. He shot her a death glare and resumed his former firm stance. This was no laughing matter! Humans can't be allowed to find the kingdom!

"Cut the guy some slack mom!" She looked sheepishly at Vegeta. "I bet you're really confused right now. Sorry. I'm Bulma Briefs. This is Dr. Briefs and his wife." She gestured to the people. "My parents."

Vegeta looked from Bulma to her parents and back. He nodded in understanding. The prince felt the triumph of a small victory. _She lives with her parents… she must be unwed._ He hung his arms to his sides and bowed deeply. Dr. Briefs let out a low "Hoh" and Mrs. Briefs gave a soft sigh.

"Well, at least we know he has manners." Bulma said wryly. Vegeta shot her a haughty look. _Of course I have manners! You are addressing a prince of the most royal lineage!_

She rolled her eyes. "Geez. Sorry."

He nodded in satisfaction. _Good to know she can read facial expressions at the very least._

"Well whoever he is, I betcha he needs some clothes!" Mrs. Briefs gushed.

Vegeta's thoughts derailed. _What?!_

"Well…" Bulma tilted her head at the prince, "I guess he really can't run around in my coat all the time…"

"That settles it!" Mrs. Briefs clapped her hands together. "We're going shopping! Come on Mr. Strong, Tan, and Handsome!" She snagged his arm and started dragging him out of the room.

The prince easily pulled from the crazy lady's grip and returned to stand next to Bulma. He didn't have time for that! He had to learn as much as he could and get Bulma to kiss him! He couldn't go shopping.

Whatever shopping was.

Dr. Briefs chuckled. "Not to worry my boy. My wife may be a little overzealous at times, but you'll never find a better fashionista." He patted him on the back and tried to push Vegeta towards the waiting crazy lady. Vegeta didn't budge.

Bulma huffed. "Get going, you big baby!"

Vegeta bristled. _Baby?!_

"Going shopping isn't gonna kill you."

The prince frowned, unsure. His hesitation was all the answer Bulma needed. She pointed at her mother.

"Go."

Vegeta grumbled silently, stomping to the door. He'd endure this… shopping. Whatever the heck that was. Some insane rite of passage perhaps? In any case, it wouldn't get the best of him.

 ***Later***

"Well, what do you think Daddy? Should we go after the wreckage?"

"Bulma darling," Dr. Briefs scratched his head wearily, "don't you think you're beating a dead horse? Your ship is Kami knows where at the bottom of the sea! The sea currents are too unpredictable to send a manned sub down there without at least an idea of where we were going. Even if we had a way to track it, like a radar or something, it would still take weeks to get it back to the surface!"

"But we wouldn't need to get the entire wreck to the surface! Just the hard drive of the computer!" Bulma tapped the schematics. "I'm positive I can get the data we need from it. It recorded all of the data that the submersibles transmitted. Heck, I personally took the time to make sure that thing was completely waterproofed! If we find that computer, we won't need to dredge up the entire wreck."

"I still just think you're grabbing at straws here, sweetie." Dr. Briefs sighed. "But, I guess we could try it."

"Thanks Dad." Bulma smiled at her father. "Now I think we should start searching around-"

Both inventors jumped as a loud bang echoed through the guest house. Thunderous stomping made its way through the kitchen and up the stairs. Bulma was surprised to see her flame haired stranger burst into the small laboratory with an expression of boiling rage. He was still only wearing Bulma's overcoat.

"Uh… I take it you finished shopping?" Dr. Briefs ventured.

The stranger waved his arms in erratic angry gestures. His mouth moved, but no sound came out. This seemed to frustrate him further. He was in the middle of his silent rant when Bunny came into the room from behind him.

"Oh it went swimmingly!" She smiled cheerily. "We were able to find him the perfect wardrobe! I must say that he has quite the athletic physique…"

" _MOM_." Bulma massaged the bridge of her nose. "You're _married_."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Married, not dead. Anyway, he wanted to go in every shop we passed. It's like he's never been in town before! It was so much fun!"

Bulma looked over to where the stranger stood. He was still seething with anger. She picked her words carefully. "So why does our guest look so… unhappy?"

"I don't know honey." Mrs. Briefs frowned in thought. "I suppose he doesn't like underwear."

There was silence for a moment and then Bulma burst out laughing. The dark eyed stranger glared furiously at her, but she didn't care. After seeing him running around naked on the beach, the fact that he didn't like underwear was hilarious.

"Well, glad to see you're feeling better." Dr. Briefs smiled. "You haven't cracked so much as a smile since the wreck. This young man seems to be the ticket to your rehabilitation."

"What?" Bulma's laughter was brought under control. "No dad, I'm just relieved that we're getting the project going again."

"Well, enough about that." Mrs. Briefs moved toward the furious stranger. "Come on handsome. Let's get you cleaned up. Maybe you'll feel better after a shower."

The flame haired man looked at Mrs. Briefs with such a horrified expression that Bulma started cracking up again. "Mom! Mom please," she managed to say between bouts of laughter, "let me." She walked over and tugged on his arm gently. "We decided to let you stay here till we can get you back on your feet. I'll show you where your room is."

Though he kept shooting distrustful looks at both women, the stranger followed Bulma. Once they had left the room, Dr. Briefs looked over to his wife.

"Now darling, don't go getting any wild ideas…"

"Ooh but don't they just make the cuUUtest couple?"

"Dear, she's in a relationship with that Yamucha fellow."

Mrs. Briefs just smiled slyly at him. Dr. Briefs sighed in resignation. This wasn't going to end well.

 ***Later***

 _Shopping?! What kind of barbarians are these people?!_ Vegeta stood in the 'shower', as Bulma called it. After he'd gotten it to work properly, the prince needs no instruction, he was pleased to find out that it made the water quite warm. It wasn't salty, much to his disappointment, but it would have to do. He continued in his silent rant. _Shopping… pah. More like she was trying to find out if I'd make a decent meal!_ He'd been poked, prodded, stuffed into so many kinds of clothing that he felt like a child's plaything! No one treats a prince that way!

He stared at the wall in agitation. The mother hadn't even let him explore. He'd barely seen any advances the humans had made, much less of their world. He hadn't learned anything! Except that the mother was unnerving.

Very unnerving.

Vegeta glanced down again at his feet and legs. He lifted his foot and cursed silently. Frieza hadn't lied. Every step was like treading on knives. There were no visible wounds, yet his feet felt shredded already.

The water flowing over his shoulders did little for his tension. This was difficult. He knew he would get used to the pain, but in all honesty, he wanted to go for a swim. Vegeta had never been away from the sea for this long. Heck, he'd never been away from the sea _ever_! Its rolling tide called to him, like an old friend. He could feel its pull, deep and fathomless…

No! He beat a fist against the wall in frustration. He had to focus! Now was the time for action, not moping around like an oyster who lost its pearl! Suck it up and take it like a merman!

He turned the knob and stopped the water. The 'shower' was still kind of a mystery to him, but he had more important things to worry about than how they got water inland. He let the moisture bead and roll off him, ignoring the towel that Bulma had left for him to dry with. He was a merman. Water was always a part of his life, on land or in the sea. She'd just have to deal with it.

Vegeta eyed the clothing with distaste. However, to appease the mother, he put them on slowly and methodically. Once clothed, he looped the shark's tooth back around his neck. He scowled at his reflection. _How utterly pathetic._ Clothing. Useless. Restricting. Bleh.

He left the 'bathroom' and headed for the kitchen. During his enraged storming earlier, he noticed the amount of equipment and technology in the 'laboratory'. It must've been some kind of work area. The glimpses he caught of the technology there gave him an idea of what he'd been missing. He'd have to get the woman to take him back there.

He entered the kitchen and saw a number of things being laid out on the table. Flat white things, thin silver things, hollow shell-like things, none of it made much sense to Vegeta. Mrs. Briefs flashed him a sunny smile in welcome. He tensed, ready to run for his life.

"Well don't you just look dashing!" She gushed, increasing Vegeta's discomfort. "I'll have dinner ready in a few minutes. I'm sure you haven't had anything to eat for a while." She placed a big bowl of hot steaming round things on the table before ushering him into a chair. "My husband and Bulma should be along soon enough."

He lowered himself into the chair. Looking at the table in front of him, he studied the slender silver things. They looked kind of like the weapons his people used. One looked like the trident his father wielded. The prince looked around the table and saw that there were small weapons for each seat. He nodded. _We must fight for the meal. Perhaps I have judged these humans too quickly._ Satisfied with the approaching battle, he attuned his senses to the room around him.

 ***Meanwhile***

Bulma sighed heavily. She straightened from her hunched position over the oceanic map and stretched. She didn't even know where to start. The survivors had lost all their bearings and had floated a fair distance before they were rescued. No one knew where the ship had sunk, much less where it lay now.

She paused as her stomach rumbled impatiently. This would have to wait. Now it was time to eat. She left the mess on the lab table and trudged to the kitchen. The smells made her mouth water. Her mom was a really good cook.

The blue haired genius entered the kitchen and slowed to a stop. The dark eyed stranger arrested her attention as he turned to pin her with his gaze.

He looked good in clothes.

She felt her face heat up as he studied her. Bulma gave him a small smile. "Well don't you clean up nice."

He scoffed silently and turned his attention back to the table. Bulma rolled her eyes and took her seat. Soon everyone was sitting at the table. Dr. Brief said a brief word of thanks to his wife for the meal and picked up his fork. He was just about to spear a piece of roast beef when out of nowhere another fork zipped past his hand and pinned the piece to the table.

Bulma was shocked. _What in the…?!_ Dr. Briefs looked at the stranger, startled. The dark eyed stranger glared balefully at the good doctor. He raised his knife in readiness and assumed what one could only call a defensive stance.

"What the heck are you doing?!" The stranger didn't even glance at her. Infuriated, Bulma grabbed a roll and chucked it at his head.

His hand flicked towards the roll. Bulma watched, stunned as the roll landed perfectly sliced on the plate in front of him.

"OOOOOH!" Mrs. Briefs applauded. "I didn't know you could do karate!"

Bulma gaped at her. "THAT'S what you notice?"

"Bulma dear," Mr. Briefs said, gamely trying to pull the fork out of the table, "perhaps our friend doesn't understand the use of utensils."

"Obviously." Bulma scowled at her strange guest. "Look mister jungle man, this is called a fork. You use it to eat. See?" She stabbed a piece of potato and brought it to her mouth. She chewed angrily. "Not something you throw at the people serving you dinner."

The flame haired stranger watched her carefully. He frowned at her, but slowly put his knife down on the table. Reaching over, he easily pulled out the fork that Dr. Briefs had been unable to remove. The four holes went all the way through the lacquered wood. He sighed with something akin to disappointment and moved the food around on his plate in a bored fashion.

Bulma huffed. _What a psycho._ She resumed eating, noting that he just moved the food about on his plate. He didn't actually eat anything. She raised an eyebrow. "What the matter? Don't like roast beef?" she said, irritated.

His eyes flicked up to meet hers. She couldn't read his expression. He rolled his eyes and she hardened her glare, daring him to try it. He speared one of the pieces disinterestedly before bringing it to his mouth. As he chewed the lights seemed to go on in his eyes. Soon the plate of food disappeared in the face of his voracious appetite. He held out his dish for a second helping.

"Oh my! Somebody's got a good appetite!" Mrs. Briefs exclaimed, overly pleased that he was a fan of her cooking. She piled his plate high with more foodstuffs. The Briefs watched amazed at how fast their guest devoured his meal. He silently asked, or more demanded, a third and fourth helping.

"Good heavens." Dr. Briefs breathed. "Slow down my boy! It's not going anywhere."

The stranger ignored him and continued to tear through his meal. Eventually, after the seventh plate, he leaned back and sighed.

Bulma shook her head. "Wow. You must have been starving or something." The stranger gave her a look that said a very sarcastic ' _really_?' She bristled. "You don't have to be so rude about it!"

Dr. Briefs quirked an eyebrow. "Bulma, he didn't say anything."

"He didn't have to!" She gestured at the smug look on his face, frustrated. "He's like an open book!"

Dr. Briefs chuckled. "You understand him better than I do. Why don't you take him around the island tomorrow? He seemed quite interested in it from what your mother said."

Bulma pouted. "But what about…"

"Don't worry about that." Dr. Briefs waved his hand in a dismissing gesture. "It's not like it's going anywhere."

Bulma sighed. "I suppose not." She looked to the stranger. "Well, looks like we're going out on the town tomorrow." She said reluctantly.

 ***Hours later***

Vegeta walked along the beach outside the small residence. The sun had set a few hours ago and the moon had already risen above the surface of the ocean. Waves crashed along the shore, sending silver sparkles of reflected moonlight into the air. The moon itself was large and illuminated the beach so that every dune of sand was clear as day.

The prince looked out over the sea and sighed. It wasn't the fact that his feet felt like they were being cut to ribbons. It was being this close to the ocean. It aggravated him like nothing else. He ached for the sea, but dare not set foot in its soothing waters. If he returned now, it would be a sure sign of weakness. Frieza would come to claim him and he'd have to honor his agreement.

He scowled. Sitting around any longer in that house would have driven him insane. He needed to move. Work out some of the frustration that came from losing his ability to speak. He hadn't realized what a detriment it was until he'd tried communicating without it. He couldn't ask the woman to show him her lab. He couldn't ask about any of the things in the house. He couldn't ask her to kiss him, though he was sure she'd refuse. Frankly his pride got in the way as well. He was the prince! She ought to want to kiss him!

He kicked at a pile of sand in frustration, wincing as pain pulsed through the leg. This wasn't going well.

On the plus side, he'd gotten the hang of human legs. For the most part, they were quite easy to operate, though they took some getting used to. The prince rolled his shoulders. Maybe he would try an easy kata he'd done when he had his fin. Perhaps it wouldn't be too different.

Vegeta shifted his weight smoothly and started into the motions. He was surprised when the legs seemed to accommodate him well, barring the pain of course. He would kick powerfully with both of them, as he would with a fin, and catch himself on his arms. Flipping himself upright and around, he attacked an invisible opponent again and again. On an impulse, he found that he could attack by using only one of the legs, keeping himself upright with the other. It was rather painful, but effective. Pleased, he tried various combinations of things. To the casual observer, it was as though he was performing a complex mixed martial arts kata or even a gymnastics routine.

He paused in his exertions as he felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked back at the house and sure enough, there stood Bulma on the balcony, watching him. Panting, he allowed himself a sly grin. _She's been watching me._ He lifted a hand and ran it through his jet black hair, placing the other hand on his hip in a very cocky pose.

 _Like what you see?_

Vegeta chuckled as the woman stiffened and darted from the balcony. He heard the slam of the doors and felt good about himself. Perhaps things weren't as bad as he thought.

Then again, Bulma would be giving him a tour of the island tomorrow. He didn't doubt that the day 'out on the town' would be just as bad a train wreck as before. But there was little more he could do than follow her. After all, she knew the island better than he did.

He just hoped there was no more shopping involved.

 ***The following day***

"Okay mister jungle man, let's get this show on the road!" Bulma declared, setting out from the little beach house. The stranger followed her at a leisurely pace, casually scanning the area around him.

Bulma glanced over her shoulder. She watched him look around and noticed that while his face didn't show any of what he was thinking, his eyes hid nothing. They sparkled with curiosity and darted to and fro. Cataloguing the things he was seeing. His face held a bored 'I'm too cool for this' expression, but his eyes made him seem like an overeager schoolboy.

He caught her eyes and raised an eyebrow in question. She giggled. "Not interested in the island, huh?" He scoffed silently and averted his gaze, a faint blush on his cheeks. _He's too easy._ She thought with amusement.

Soon they had reached the central hub of the island. The market lay before them in a tangle of life. A buying, selling, frenzied, noisy mass of humanity. Bulma took in a deep breath and savored the smells of spices and cooking foods from street vendors. She was about to start into the madness when she felt a presence close behind her.

She turned and saw her stranger just at her elbow. His face was a cold mask of indifference, but his eyes held a distinct glimmer of unease.

 _Aww. He's nervous._ Bulma smiled. "Hey, no worries bub." She reached out and took his hand. "Just stay close and we'll be fine." He stiffened slightly when she took his hand and gave her a most haughty glare. She rolled her eyes at him and let go.

His eyes widened slightly and he made a grab for her elbow. He caught it and she smirked back at knew what he was on about. He scowled and dropped it like it bit him. If he could speak, she was sure he would've said something to the effect of 'this means nothing' or 'I don't need you, you need me' or something to that effect.

She laughed aloud. "Come on mister grumpy jungle man. Let's go exploring."

 ***Later***

Bulma fought back a giggle as she watched her mysterious stranger dart from one stall to the next with barely suppressed excitement. Now that he was finally over the sheer amount of people in the crowd, she could barely keep track of the guy. He could be so cute when he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Bulma smiled happily as he stopped and waited for her to catch up. She trotted up to him and smirked.

"Enjoying yourself mister jungle man?" She asked cheekily.

The stranger folded his arms and huffed, though his eyes sparkled with mirth. Bulma chuckled and followed him to the next stall. In the short time that they'd been exploring the island, she'd come to enjoy his company. Strangely enough, she found him rather attractive. Bulma blushed. _Not that he wasn't easy on the eyes to begin with._

To be honest it was his personality that attracted her. He seemed so guarded at first, offstandish even. However, more time she spent with the silent tough guy, the more she found him to be rather personable. He had a sense of humor that mirrored hers. And as much as he silently teased her, to the point of her bursting out in anger, he was always courteous. Holding doors for her, walking in front of her as they carved a path through the crowds, glaring at other men who tried to chat her up. She giggled. It was like having a personal body guard.

She watched him walk through the little shop in appreciation. He carried himself with a haughty air, but was graceful in all his movements. He never bumped into people, but instead seemed to flow around them. Even last night his movements seemed almost too smooth to be real. Then again he was pretty jacked. Maybe he did martial arts?

Bulma saw him narrow his eyes at a dolphin carving. Even though he didn't say a word, she could tell he was very intelligent. His eyes were so expressive even when his face was a stony mask of indifference. That's how they communicated. She could guess what he was trying to say because of his eyes. His deep, dark, drown-in-the-depths eyes.

The blue haired genius coughed. _I didn't just think that._ Bulma looked around to try to distract herself by looking anywhere else. She _had_ a boyfriend for heaven's sake! She wasn't going to fantasize about some hot stranger while he wasn't around... right?

Movement on the far side of the strip caught her attention. She smiled. "Hey mister jungle man!" She called over to the stranger. "You do martial arts right? Why don't you check this out?" She pointed to a wooden building and the stranger's eyes lit up. He strode over to her with that confident grace and together they went inside the dojo.

Inside were bunches of people gathered around to watch a sword dance. Bulma watched in awe of the spinning blades. The man on the platform flipped them around in such an intricate pattern that it seemed he was likely to take his own head off. They'd arrived in the middle of the dance and for the next few minutes, Bulma was entertained by the performance. At the end of it she found herself clapping enthusiastically with the rest of the audience.

"Wow. Hey mister jungle man, what do you… ?" Bulma looked around. _Where'd he go?_ Did she seriously just lose him? Panic rose in her chest and she made her way towards the doors.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a challenger!"

Bulma stopped for a second and turned back to the platform. She let out a small cry of dismay as she recognized the stranger. He'd removed his shirt and held set of blades matching the ones seen earlier. The large shark tooth around his neck shone in bright contrast to his tanned skin.

She struggled her way to the stage and called to him in a stage whisper. "What are you _doing_?! You can't just march up there and steal the show! You'll get hurt!"

The stranger waved her words away with a confident smirk. His eyes twinkled and she got the message. 'Watch and learn.'

Bulma huffed and folded her arms. "Fine then! Just don't come crying to me when your face needs to be stitched back on!"

He laughed silently before moving into a ready position. His arms at his sides, his feet bare, he relaxed his body. His face, normally stone cold barring his eyes, smoothed as well. Bulma marveled at the change. He looked much younger when he wasn't scowling at something. Slowly he brought his arms up and began a sword dance.

Bulma's jaw dropped.

 _Ho-ly smokes._ She couldn't tear her eyes away. The stranger's blades flashed in movements so graceful, so intricate, that it made the earlier exhibition seem amateurish in comparison. His body treated the weapons as mere extensions on his limbs as he glided and leapt through forms that seemed much too perfect for fighting. It was stunning. HE was stunning! Briefly, she wondered how long it took him to master it. Years maybe? Comparing this to the way he trained on the beach told her how determined he was. How hard he worked to get this good. She found herself genuinely admiring him.

His dance wasn't much longer than other one. The stranger completed his final form and returned to the stance he began with, letting out a heavy sigh. There was silence for a moment before the audience erupted into thunderous applause. Bulma cheered just as heartily as the rest of them. She watched as a man who she assumed to be the master of the dojo drew close to him and offered him a few words.

She watched as the stranger shook his head and hopped off the stage. He snagged his shirt and headed towards her, scowling at the pats on the back and words of praise he received. Bulma shook her head and grinned. Figures he wouldn't be the type to accept encouragement. She reached out and bopped him on the shoulder.

"Showoff."

As they turned to leave the dojo, she missed his eyes. The message in them was clear.

'Only for you.'

 ***Later***

Vegeta studied the books intently. _Humans have a writing system in place. Who would've known?_ He picked one off the shelves and scanned the pages. _It's similar to our script and easy enough to decipher. They probably come from the same root language._ The 'bookstore' was a goldmine. History, literature, art, mechanical books, science books, all of it crammed into a small shop off the main drag. They'd been there at least an hour while he satisfied his curiosity. Though it only just fed the beast. This was such a small place packed with so much information. He was sure that this was just the tip of the iceberg. The prince set the book back on the shelf after a few minutes and turned to look for Bulma.

She stood outside the little bookstore, chatting with one of the locals. Vegeta felt an unusual surge of emotions, watching her laugh and talk with the girl. Her eyes sparkled in the bright sunshine and her face lit up with humor. He couldn't help but stare, caught by her. Abruptly Bulma turned and found his gaze. He stiffened and looked away, fighting the blush that threatened to overtake his face. He ran a hand through his black flame of hair and scowled. _I'm getting in too deep._ He never meant to actually like her, having attributed his earlier interest to pure intellectual curiosity, but he had the sinking suspicion that things were not so good under the sea. Heck, he even showed off his ancestral sword dance for her! He'd adjusted it for human legs, but it was still difficult even without the horrible pain!

 _This sucks._ He thought in frustration. He shouldn't so be infatuated with her. She was _human_. He just needed her to kiss him. That's it.

But how? He was never good at flirting, even when he had his voice. Frankly he thought he'd just tell her that he was the same guy who saved her and then she'd kiss him upon request. _Stupid scumbag taking my voice. How am I to explain myself?_ He trudged through the little bookstore absently, caught up in his thoughts. He stopped with a sigh and glanced up. A book caught his attention. It was old and covered with dark blue colored leather. A pattern of waves decorated it with an intricate silver inlay. Curious, he reached up and opened the book.

Vegeta's eyes got big. _It can't be._ The first picture he turned to was a picture of his people. Creatures with human tops and fish bottoms were depicted swimming around a lagoon.

Merfolk.

 _How?!_ Vegeta flipped through the pages quickly. _How is it that they already know of us?!_ He turned to the front few pages and almost laughed silently with relief.

'Legends of the Sea'

 _They think we're a myth!_ Vegeta's mind turned quickly from relief to irritation. _How dare they! No wonder these humans keep mucking about in the ocean. They think they own the place!_ He set the book back on the shelf. _What father would say if he knew…_

 _That's it!_ Vegeta grinned and ran through the bookstore. _Bulma must know about our people! Perhaps things will be easier to explain this way._ He strode confidently out to Bulma, interrupting her by grasping her by the wrist and pulling her inside the bookstore.

"Hey! Lemme go!" Bulma protested, pulling vainly against his grip. "I was in the middle of a conversation you jerk!""

Vegeta rolled his eyes and pulled her into the section. He selected the blue book with the silver waves and shoved the book in her face, pointing to the cover.

"You know what you are? Rude!" Bulma glared at him angrily. "We've been here for hours and NOW you find a book! We were just about to leave!" She rubbed her sore wrist, ignoring the book. "Geez you have a strong grip! Are you made of metal or something?!"

Vegeta smirked smugly. _I'm a pure blooded merman. We are the strongest warriors in the sea._ He shoved the book in her hands and crossed his arms. _Read the stupid book._

Bulma gave him another angry glare before looking back at the book. Her face cleared in surprise as she recognized it. "Hey! I know this book! Daddy read it to me when I was just a little girl!" Vegeta raised an eyebrow and she continued. "Oh yeah. I used to be all into mermaids. I had my own little mermaid costume with the fins and everything." Bulma sighed at Vegeta's incredulous expression. "Hey, I was young. Don't judge." She flipped through the pages as she spoke. "Mermaids were the only real mystery for me when I was younger. I mean, I was hard into dad's inventions and all, but there was such a romance to them! I wanted to go out and prove that mermaids existed. I didn't find out that they weren't real until I was about 15." She shrugged at Vegeta's shock.

 _Not real!? NOT REAL!?_ Vegeta's righteous outrage was obvious. _I'm real! I'm a Merman! I'm the prince of all Mermen! I saved you from that storm you ungrateful woman! You would be dead without me! How dare you suggest that I'm not real?!_ His silent rant didn't attract any attention.

"Chillax bub." Bulma backed away from the silently angry man. "I'll get you the book. Don't need to blow a gasket." She turned and headed towards the payment area, leaving Vegeta behind.

 _AAAAAAGH!_ Vegeta roared silently. _WHY doesn't she believe?!_ He ran a fist into the nearby wall, punching a hole clean through spun about and paced angrily back and forth, feeling invisible knives slice into his feet. The prince didn't notice the pain due to the terrible ache in his chest. _She doesn't believe we exist._ He didn't want to admit his growing feelings for Bulma. He just knew she didn't think he was real and that really, really hurt. He shook his head angrily. _I need to calm down. I just have to get her to kiss me, learn what I can, and go back home. Kiss, learn, leave. Kiss, learn, leave._

It's never that easy.

He calmed enough to regain his composure and moved to the front of the store. He watched her pay for the book and his heart ached. He scowled. _Stupid emotions._ During their time together he'd learned about her just as much as she learned about him. She was witty, smart, and had a dry sense of humor that he shared. She wasn't so easily impressed and she stood up to him more times than he could count. And that was just today! Bulma was a spitfire and was most certainly a beautiful woman. He smirked to himself. _Especially when she's angry._

He shook his head, trying to clear it of thoughts of Bulma and failing. She was unlike any person he'd ever met. She wasn't strong, but she used her other abilities as compensation. He watched her, with no small amusement, talk down a salesman dead set on selling her jewelry. Vegeta rolled his eyes at the memory. Even he knew the diamonds were fake. Bulma called the salesman out on it and had essentially cleared him out for cheap. He chuckled. _No, she is_ completely _different than anyone I have ever known._

Bulma finished paying for the book. She turned and walked out the shop, Vegeta close behind her. Bulma stopped in her tracks and looked at him. He scowled at her and she sighed.

"Listen," she said, "I know we don't know each other all that well. Sorry if I said something back there to offend you." She smiled at him he felt his earlier anger dissolve completely. He leaned over the bopped her lightly on the head. She let out a yelp. "What was that for?!"

 _Punishment._ He smirked at her cheekily. _It would've been worse if you were in the kingdom. Father wouldn't take being called a fake lightly._

"Gee thanks mister high and mighty jungle man. What garners me this special treatment?" she asked sarcastically, rubbing the sore spot on her noggin.

 _Because it's you._ Vegeta thought, giving her a genuine smile. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants and moved past her to the next vendor. He completely missed Bulma's flabbergasted expression and the reddest blush across her cheeks.

 ***Later***

Vegeta pulled the oars back in powerful strokes. Sending the little boat shooting across the surface of the water.

Bulma put a hand to her hair to keep it from blowing about. "Slow down you crazy jungle man! We're supposed to be seeing the sights! Not speeding to the next continent!"

Vegeta scoffed silently. _It's a lagoon you stupid woman! What sights are we supposed to be seeing?_ Nevertheless, he slowed his pace. Soon they were drifting leisurely through the water as the sun set on the horizon.

The pair had rented a little rowboat to spend the evening on the water. Bulma had heard that it was beautiful at sundown when all the fireflies came out. Vegeta had rolled his eyes when she compared it to the stars coming down to mingle among the trees. Such nonsense. She didn't know true beauty. She'd never seen the northern lights dancing on a clear night while the stars sang in the icy sky above.

The sun disappeared below the horizon and Bulma leaned eagerly forward. "Now the fireflies come out!" Bulma said, looking about in excitement. "Quick! Row over there! Beneath that willow tree!"

Vegeta shrugged, but complied. They floated beneath the great drooping branches and he leaned back in the little boat. He didn't care about these fireflies. He'd seen them the first night while he was on the beach. Little flickering light bugs. What was so special about seeing them over the water? He'd rather spend his time teasing Bulma.

Minutes passed in silence. The prince watched as Bulma's excitement ebbed. Slowly eagerness turned to irritation. "Where are they?" She muttered, looking around. "There are supposed to be millions of them. Maybe they'll come out later." She turned to Vegeta, striking up a new topic of conversation. "You know, I feel really bad about not knowing your name. You think I could guess it?"

Vegeta gestured at her to continue. _Maybe she'll get lucky._

"Florence?"

Vegeta made a disgusted face. _What kind of a sissy name is Florence?_

Bulma giggled. "Okay, I guess not. How about Dmitri?"

He shook his head.

"Eric?"

Again with the head shake. His expression became bored. She'd never guess it on her own.

"How about… Victor?"

Vegeta shook his head, allowing a little smile. _At least she's getting closer._ She opened her mouth to guess again when a loud call split the silence.

"VEGETAAAAAAAH!"

Vegeta stiffened and spun around to look out to sea. In the distance he could see something splashing through the waves. He cursed silently. _That idiot! Why does he choose to show up now of all times?!_

"Vegeta?"

The prince spun back around, wide eyed. Bulma looked at him with a satisfied smirk.

"Your name is Vegeta?"

Vegeta huffed, but nodded.

Bulma paused before laughing. "What kind of name is Vegeta?"

Vegeta glared at her indignantly. _It's is a royal name! The name of my father and the name of my father's father!_ He crossed his arms. _At least it's not as silly as the name 'Bulma'!_

Her laugher slowed and she smiled at him. "Well, at least I don't have to call you mister jungle man anymore." She looked out at sea and frowned in thought. "Though it sounded like someone was looking for you. Should we head back to the docks?"

Vegeta shook his head. _Any movement and Kakkarot will find us. I don't want to deal with that idiot right now._

She shrugged and started up another line of conversation. The world around them grew darker as they, or rather she, talked. Still no sign of the little glowing insects. Vegeta watched in amusement as she became increasingly agitated, but tried to keep the one sided conversation going.

Finally, after a solid hour of floating in the lagoon, Bulma had had enough. "This is stupid! We've been out here for an hour and no sign of any fireflies! Stupid bugs!" She vented. After a moment of red faced fuming, she deflated. She turned to her companion. "Sorry Vegeta. I really wanted to show you the fireflies. I guess that's not happening now."

 _She looks so disappointed._ Vegeta found himself disturbed by the thought that she should be displeased. He made a snap decision and sat up. He leaned forward and formed a ki ball in his hand. Vegeta tossed the ball into the air and shattered it, sending mini ki lights drifting into the air all around them

Bulma stared at him in shock. "How did you…" Her voice trailed off as she looked around. The entire space under the tree was lit gently by the ki lights. Their golden glow gave the space a starry quality. Vegeta felt enormous gratification as her face lit up in awe.

"Wow!" Bulma turned her gaze back to him. A beatific smiled graced her looks. "It's so beautiful. Better than fireflies." She blushed and looked back up at the tree. "I've never seen anything like it."

 _It was nothing._ Vegeta's expression softened. _You're worth it anyway._ He blushed at the silent comment and looked away. His heart beat violently in his chest. Was this love? Was this what it felt like? It was like those infernal light bugs had taken up residence in his stomach. He didn't know what to do. He brought his gaze back to Bulma and felt the feeling grow.

 _What are you doing to me?_ He shook his head. _I can help myself when you're around._ He wanted her attention. Wanted her smile. Wanted the fire that came out when they challenged each other. He'd fallen hopelessly in love with the blue eyed beauty. There was no two ways about it.

He looked down at her hands, trying not to give his feelings away through eye contact. He studied them. Suddenly curious, Vegeta reached forward and took her them in his own. They were small compared to his. More refined. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand absently. They were so different, yet he couldn't stop himself. He smiled ruefully. How had he fallen in love with a human?

He realized that he really wanted to kiss the girl. It wasn't just because he had to. No. He wanted to stay with the girl. To make her smile for the rest of her life. To bring out her fire. To love her.

The prince looked up from her hands and found Bulma staring back at him. Her eyes danced in the light of his ki, capturing him. They were as blue as the sky on a cloudless day. How he hadn't noticed before was beyond him. His heart thumped loudly in his chest at the emotions he saw there that he didn't have the presence of mind to name. She smiled shyly and he found himself leaning forward. Slowly he lifted a hand to her chin. She closed her eyes as he drew nearer. He closed his eyes and felt her breath on his lips.

"VEGETA!"

The loud cry from two feet away startled them both into motion. They jumped away from each other and with a loud cry from Bulma, toppled the little boat.

 _KAKKAROT!_ Vegeta surged from the water in a rage. The little ki lights vanished with Vegeta's loss of control. He zoned in on the black spiky hair and dove for his rival. He landed on him, beating his head mercilessly with his fists. Goku, having not expected that, was knocked unconscious. Vegeta picked him up bodily and hurled him out of the lagoon.

"What the heck was that?!" Vegeta whirled to see Bulma soaking wet, shivering in the waist deep water. He made his way to her, anger forgotten, concern written all over his face. She shouted at him angrily. "I'm fine you chowderhead! Where do you get off tipping the boat like that?!"

 _Tipping the boat!?_ Concern turned back into anger. _I didn't tip the boat! You tipped the stupid boat!_

"It wasn't me!" Bulma responded to his outrage. "You're the one who jumped!"

 _AUGH! It's all Kakkarot's fault!_ Vegeta beat the water with his fist. _He's the one who ruined-_

A wave of water washed over him, cutting off his thoughts. He spluttered and glared angrily at Bulma. She was dripping from the splash he made in his frustration. She scowled back at him and pointed a finger in his face.

"You started it!"

 _Oh so that's how you want to play!?_ Vegeta's smirk was absolutely evil. _Fine! Take the wrath of the prince of all mermen!_ He splashed a great wall of water at her. She shrieked and was instantly drenched again.

"Oh no you don't!" She launched herself at Vegeta, tackling him into the lagoon.

Vegeta came up for air and dunked her down in retaliation. His victorious smirk disappeared as the blue haired genius kicked his feet out from under him. She surfaced and laughed at his indignant expression. He grabbed her around the waist with his own grin and plunged back beneath the water.

And so the war continued.

 ***Later***

"Vegetaaaaaaah! Why'd you beat me up?!" Goku rubbed his sore head angrily. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Vegeta scowled at his rival. _You're the reason I failed to kiss Bulma!_ He tossed a shell at Goku's head and was satisfied to see it bounce off the bump on his noggin. _You only got what you deserved._

"Ouch!" Goku scowled back at Vegeta. "I was just trying to warn you! The king sent the royal guard all over the ocean looking for you!" He held up his thumb and forefinger centimeters apart. "He's this close to putting a bounty on your head!"

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. _Don't tell me you told him?_

"I didn't tell him anything." Goku frowned. "But he was super angry. I think Frieza may have tipped him off somehow." He leaned forward and rested his arms on the dock. It was long past midnight and the inhabitants of the island were fast asleep. He'd found Vegeta waiting for him on a dock on the far side of the island.

 _It wouldn't surprise me._ Vegeta sat cross legged on the dock. _That scumbag likes to antagonize father to no end._

Goku set his chin on his arms. "I went to see him Vegeta."

The prince's eyebrows shot up. _You did?_ His rival also committed treason? What for?

Goku caught his look. "Yeah I did." He sighed. "I was worried. Didn't know if you actually went through with it. I got there and threatened the scumbag." Vegeta smirked. Hearing that the normally peaceful merman actually threatened someone made him irrationally happy. Goku continued speaking. "Frieza told me all about the deal you made. I couldn't believe you would do such a thing. I had to find you." He looked at his friend sadly. "And now you have legs. I can't believe you sometimes."

 _I had to do it._ Vegeta flicked another shell at him. _It's not your place to worry about me._

"Vegeta." Goku's eyes hardened and he batted the shell away. "Don't go through with this. Even if you kiss the girl and stay human a little longer, I don't want to see you a slave to that monster." Goku leaned forward in agitation. "He plans to take over the kingdom. He'll use you if he can. Whether you agree to it or not."

Vegeta sighed. _I know this Kakkarot. I don't intend to let him win._

Goku looked at him intently. After a moment he spoke. "Listen, there's a way out of this. If you come back to the king with me, we could explain-"

The prince slammed a hand on the wood of the dock, silencing Goku. _No! I will not go back on my word!_ His eyes bored into Goku's. _Trust me, I don't plan to give in without a fight._

Goku studied him. "You know, you're really hard to understand without a voice." Vegeta facepalmed and Goku snickered. "But I get you. When you face Frieza, I'll fight with you." He held forth his forearm. Vegeta stared at it before nodding. He lifted his own forearm and pressed it up against Goku's. The Merman way of making a promise.

Goku's eyes lit up and he smiled. "I don't know this girlfriend of yours, but you must really like her to do all this." Vegeta swiped at him and he dodged it, laughing. Sinking back into the water, he waved at his rival before vanishing into the depths.

Vegeta smirked briefly as he watched Goku swim away. _That idiot will be the death of me._ He ran a hand through his raven hair and stared out over the ocean. _One day left._

 ***The following day***

Bulma sipped at her coffee. Strong and dark, just how she liked her men. She giggled. That was terrible. She left the kitchen and strolled over the laboratory, musing on the events of last night.

 _I haven't had so much fun in ages! Never thought Mr. grumpy could loosen up like that._ She grinned at the memory of dunking him in the lagoon. His face was priceless! Strange thing was that he didn't look all too affected by the water. The only things that seemed to hold water were his clothes. His hair still stood up in that flame even when she dunked him time and time again. It was like the water didn't even touch him.

 _Vegeta._ Now she knew his name. _What a guy._ Their time in the market had really blown away her expectations. He'd been so fun to hang out with. So interesting to get to know. Even though he didn't speak, he was a surprisingly good listener. He tried his best to communicate and tease her to no end. It frustrated her, but honestly? The teasing just made it better.

And then that rowboat ride. She'd never seen anyone do what he did! _Kami it was so beautiful. Magical even._ Her smile softened in remembrance. The little lights floating in the air, his dark eyes filled with passion and desire, his hands so strong and gentle on hers. It was so romantic.

She paused in her trek to the lab and frowned. When did she start thinking about him romantically? She had a boyfriend! Sure she was attracted to him, but she didn't think about actually having a relationship with a man whose name she just learned last night! She blushed, remembering their almost kiss. Would it be so bad to start one with him? He was strong, funny, genuine, and obviously attracted to her. She was most certainly attracted to the strong silent type. _This isn't good. I've probably been leading him on._ Bulma thought, mortified. _Oh what would Yamucha say?_

Yamucha wasn't the world's best boyfriend, not by a long shot. But Bulma wasn't going to be a two timing jerk just because he wasn't meeting her standards. She had that much respect for the guy at the very least.

Bulma walked on, feelings whirling in her mind. She reached the lab and walked to the table, looking over the maps she'd left jumbled up from yesterday. She sighed and plopped down in the seat. _Back to business._ She hadn't forgotten her mission, even with all the lovely distractions. _Where to start looking…_

She poured over maps and charts for the better part of the morning. She was so wrapped up in her work that she barely even noticed when the door to the lab swung open.

Bulma looked up and her heart thudded in her chest. She swallowed her emotions and gave him a smile. "Oh, hey Vegeta. C'mon in." Vegeta looked around the lab curiously. Bulma watched him walk from one station to another. "Yeah, sorry it's a bit of a mess in here. I've been working on a new type of unmanned submersible, so things are a bit chaotic now. Feel free to take a look around." She sighed and turned back her maps.

A moment later a hand entered her vision. It traced one of the lines on the map and she looked up to see curiosity in Vegeta's eyes. "This is a map of oceanic currents for this time of the year. I'm trying to figure out where my boat sank." She explained, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. "You probably don't know this, but I was shipwrecked about a week ago. All my data for the new submersibles was still on the ship when it sank." She offered him a weak smile. "I've been trying to figure out where it went down so I can retrieve my data."

Vegeta folded his arms and tilted his head. 'Why are they so important?' his eyes seemed to say.

"The submersibles rely on a new technology that allows them to adjust to various conditions." Bulma explained. "Intense pressure, burning heat, freezing cold, harsh currents, all so they can explore the ocean. I was testing them when my ship sank." She held up a finger. "Did you know that the ocean is the one place that we as humans have never fully explored? There are creatures down in the depths that we've never even seen! Things that seem almost alien!" She gestured at the piles of electronics. "With my technology, we can send subs even further than before. Explore the last unknown place on earth. Find out what's down there. Maybe discover something that could save our world from pollution."

For all his lack of expressions, Vegeta seemed genuinely surprised. He put one hand on his chin and looked back at the map in front of her. His brow furrowed as he studied it. He quirked an eyebrow at her and she nodded.

"Sure, take a look." She shuffled the maps on her desk till they could all be seen. "I could use all the help I can get." Together they studied the maps. Bulma murmured to herself while Vegeta silently examined the charts. A few minutes later Vegeta reached over and poked a spot on the map with his finger.

"What?" Bulma was startled out of her study. "What's the matter?"

He tapped the spot on the table. She looked down and noticed where he was pointing. Right between two opposing currents some 60 miles offshore.

"That's where you think it is?" He nodded. Bulma looked at him skeptically. "What makes you so sure?"

He pointed to another map. It was the one on which she plotted out the course of the boat from when they left the harbor. She followed his finger as he traced the course of the boat and then followed one of the major currents. It traveled along it right until it neared the opposing one where it stopped. He made a little spinning motion with his hand and her eyes widened.

"You think that it was spun around by the currents?" He nodded as she looked up at him. "Huh. I never considered that. It's certainly possible. If it was sinking, the storm wouldn't have affected it as much as the currents would have." She nodded to herself, excitement quickly erasing her previous intense concentration. "The ship was big enough that if it hit both currents, it would have spun about until it reached the bottom!" She reached over and stuck a pin at the spot Vegeta indicated. "I can't believe I didn't think of that sooner!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes as if he knew everything there was to know about the ocean. Bulma, undaunted, grinned and surprised him by giving him a bear hug. "Thank you Vegeta!"

The man stiffened under her grip. She blushed. _Did I overstep?_ She thought. She started to let go when she felt his strong arms wrap around her, hugging her back. Bulma smiled and pulled away from him enough to look him in the eye. He had a smug little smirk on his face that said 'you are too easily pleased'.

She laughed. "Gloat a bit more why don't you." She teased, relaxing her grip on his shoulders. They stood, holding each other loosely, looking into each other's eyes. Bulma felt her heartbeat speed up at the look he was giving her. It was so tender. He lifted a hand to cup her cheek. She shivered at his touch and closed her eyes.

"Bulmaaaaah!"

The two of them froze. She pulled away from Vegeta hurriedly. "Yeah Mom?" She called back.

"You have a visitor dear!"

Bulma looked back at Vegeta. His disappointment was painfully obvious. He saw her looking and the expression vanished back into his cold, scowling mask. Her heart beat hard in her chest. _He… he really likes me._ She thought in amazement. She hid her blush by turning back to the door.

"Be down in a minute!" She got her blush under control and looked back at Vegeta. She smiled softly. "C'mon. Maybe it's somebody you know."

Vegeta gave her a mocking glance, but followed her through the door regardless. They made their way to the living room, trying to fight the awkward silence between them. They entered the room and Bulma was surprised to recognize the visitor.

"Yamucha?!"

"Bulma!" Yamucha's face broke into a smile. He rushed from his place across the room to envelop her in a hug. "Oh babe I missed you so much!"

"Yamucha, what are you doing here?" Bulma returned the hug, downright surprised. "I thought you were back at home with the team!"

"Naw babe!" Yamucha pulled away from her with a bright smile. "After I talked to you last, you know, after the wreck, I felt like a real heel. Forget the baseball, I had to come and apologize!"

"Aww Yamucha." Bulma pulled him into another hug. "It's okay, I know you were worried."

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have chewed you out like I did." He held her close, stroking her blue hair fondly. "Kami it's good to see you." They pulled apart and Yamucha looked over her shoulder. He stiffened. "Uh, who's this guy?"

"Huh?" Bulma turned and stared in surprise at her houseguest.

Vegeta looked about ready to murder someone. His muscles were bunched up beneath his blue button down shirt. His stance was wide and his hands were clenched into fists. His teeth were bared and for some reason they were oddly sharper than normal. She was sure that if he had a voice, he'd be growling or spewing profanities.

 _Ooooooh snap._ Bulma blushed brightly. "Oh, yeah. Yamucha, meet Vegeta. He was shipwrecked about two days ago, so we gave him a place till he got back on his feet." She gestured to Yamucha. "Vegeta, this is Yamucha. My boyfriend."

Vegeta looked like he'd been slapped. Bulma felt a sharp surge of guilt as he slowly relaxed his muscles. His face returned to his usual scowl, but his eyes betrayed him. They told her how much her statement had hurt him and she felt even worse. He liked her and hadn't known about her boyfriend. He spun around and stormed out of the house before she had a chance to say anything.

"What's with him?" Yamucha broke through her thoughts.

"Oh just ignore him." She huffed, trying to hide her remorse. "He's overprotective. Ever since I found him on the beach he's been like my personal bodyguard."

"Really?" Yamucha furrowed his brow. "You haven't been cheating on me, have you?"

"Yamucha!" Bulma shouted, angrily pushing him away. "How dare you! I'll have you know I've been more faithful to you than you've ever been to me!"

"Bulma…"

"Ugh!" She turned in disgust and stomped into the kitchen. _The nerve of that guy! Five minutes in and he thinks I've been cheating on him! What a lousy, insensitive…_

"Bulma, don't be like that!" Yamucha followed behind her, pleading. "I know you'd never cheat on me! Really!" Bulma gave him a scathing glare and he sighed. "Look, I thought we were past all that. I know you've been true to me all this time you've been away." He gave her a weak smile. "He was just so defensive that I jumped to conclusions."

Bulma looked at him and relented. "Fine." She turned to the counter and poured herself another cup of coffee. "I guess I'm just still a little stressed about the wreck."

Yamucha looped his arms around her waist. "No worries babe. Listen, let's me and you go out on the town today. Forget about our worries for a while."

Bulma sipped at her coffee and nodded, content to spend some time with Yamucha. However, something told her she wouldn't enjoy herself as much as she had with Vegeta.

 ***Later***

 _He's her boyfriend._

 _She has a boyfriend._

 _Bulma has a freaking boyfriend!_

To say that Vegeta was angry would be an understatement. He was shamed, hurt, and utterly embarrassed. There was another man in her life that he hadn't known about. Downright furious, he couldn't handle staying in that house a second longer. He wasn't angry with Bulma, but with himself. _I should've known there would be other suitors!_ He berated himself. _I am such a fool!_ He raged silently, holding onto his anger instead of letting hurt overwhelm him.

The prince stormed back to the place where he'd taken the potion. He needed to clear his head. If he stayed with the woman and the suitor… Vegeta scowled. _The weakling._ He corrected himself… the weakling would've suffered some harsh injuries. Reaching his destination, he took off his shirt. He was tired of wearing human clothing. Frustrated, he paced back and forth angrily. Somehow he needed to relieve some of his anger. He threw up his fists and started shadow boxing. He needed to beat something, in this case an imaginary suitor, to shreds.

Vegeta trained for long enough that sweat dripped off his frame. He panted with effort, pausing briefly to rest. The prince ran a hand through his flame of black hair. Now that the anger was more subdued, his distress over this situation appeared in his stance and on his face. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't human. He was temporarily given legs, stranded on an island, and only barely discovered anything about life above the waves. How could he compete with someone who already knew her world?

He paced along the beach anxiously. The prince needed a plan and needed it fast. Something that would win her over in the time he had left. Perhaps there was a certain ritual he could invoke? His brow furrowed in thought. Every so often, there would be challenges in his kingdom. Games of strength, dexterity, and skill usually between two fighters. Such things would determine the worthiness of the two warriors. Sometimes it was to prove themselves against rivals, other times to prove themselves to a mate. It was pretty effective. That is, if the female would have them.

Perhaps humans had something similar in their culture? Vegeta nodded to himself. Maybe he should attempt to initiate a challenge with the weakling. See how Bulma reacts to her champion being defeated in combat.

Suddenly, fire overwhelmed his senses. Vegeta gasped and stumbled forward. Pain coursed through his feet and surged up his legs. He fell to his knees and panted, squeezing his eyes shut tight against the terrible burning, stabbing sensation. His teeth ground together in an attempt to hold back an anguished cry.

After a while, the pain subsided into a sharp ache. He let out a shaky breath and turned over to examine his legs. The muscles were tense, trembling from the sudden intense pain. And while there were no visible wounds, his feet dripped crimson blood.

Vegeta's eyes narrowed. He looked back along the beach to see a trail of bloody footprints. He cursed. How had he not noticed? In his raging, he didn't pay attention to what he was doing. Apparently his new feet couldn't handle the strain he put on them.

He studied the amount of blood on the sand. _I've had worse._ Vegeta had been wounded in battle before, so this was nothing new. He smirked wryly. _But the woman is going to have a fit._

 ***Later***

Bulma was throwing a fit.

"Yamucha, how could you!?" Bulma raged. "I was RIGHT THERE!"

"How was I supposed to know one of my exes would be here?!" Yamucha retaliated weakly. "She practically threw herself at me! What was I supposed to do?"

"Oh I dunno! Maybe NOT KISS HER!" She chucked her purse at her scarred boyfriend. "Ever think about how that would make me feel?!"

" _She_ kissed _me_!" Yamucha dodged the handbag. "I didn't go looking for it!"

"Could've fooled me!" She stomped into the beach house, startling her parents in the living room.

Yamucha followed her, hands spread in supplication. "C'mon babe. You know I'd never cheat on you."

"Yeah!? Well what about Jennifer!?"

Yamucha flinched. "That was just a misunderstanding! I thought you said you didn't care!"

"Yeah, well maybe I did!" Bulma turned on him, eyes filled with tears. "I thought you'd changed! Guess I was wrong!"

Everyone in the room flinched at the venom in Bulma's voice. Mrs. Briefs cleared her throat uncomfortably, mother instincts going on high alert. Dr. Briefs brought his newspaper up to eye level. "You're in hot water now boy." He muttered.

The baseball player grimaced. "Bulma…"

"Don't you 'Bulma' me!" She interrupted. "I'm up to here with your antics!" She stuck a finger in his face. "This isn't the first time this has happened Yamucha! You better shape up or we're through!" And with that she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned Yamucha gaping behind her.

"Stupid Yamucha." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Why do I even put up with him anyway? He's never gonna change." This wasn't the first time this had happened. He had wandering eyes and wandering hands. She stomped upstairs to her bedroom and considered breaking up with him, again. "Maybe I'm better off being single for the rest of my life. Maybe I should be like Tesla." She sniffled. "A true genius! A sexy, lusted after genius who devotes her life to science, my one true love! Never taking a husband and just…" She leaned her forehead against the door to her room. "… just talking to pigeons for the rest of my life." Mimicking Tesla's love life was probably not the best idea.

She was about to enter her bedroom and have a grand old pity party when she heard a crash. _What was that?!_ She turned from her door in alarm and headed down the hall. _It came from Vegeta's room!_ She pulled open the door to the guest room and charged inside. The sight she found, surprised her.

Vegeta was hopping on one foot, hanging on to bandages that were wrapped around his legs and arms. He looked hopelessly entangled in the white material. Around him were various things that had been knocked to the floor while he was wrestling with the gauze. He froze when she came in, looking for all the world like a mummy trying to disrobe. He had an absolutely mortified expression on his face. He wobbled, trying to keep himself upright, but lost the fight with gravity and toppled to the floor with a thump.

Bulma couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into laughter. She held her sides and leaned against the doorframe in mirth. The look that Vegeta shot her would've killed a small animal in its intensity. He grabbed a wad of bandages and hurled it at Bulma. It hit her square in the nose, but she continued laughing.

"Oh Kami Vegeta!" She laughed, almost hyperventilating in an effort to control herself. "What are you doing?!"

Vegeta sat up and scowled at her. He silently gestured to his feet which were messily wrapped in bandages.

Bulma chuckled, sadness and frustration temporarily forgotten. "What, did you step on glass or something? You need to learn to wear shoes Vegeta. Seriously." She leaned forward and pulled the gauze away. "Next time, just ask me for help, alright?"

Vegeta scowled at her. He crossed his arms in defiance. His eyes said something to the effect of 'I don't need your help'.

"Whatever mister." Bulma rolled her eyes. "I'm going to help you now, so just suck it up." She reached for his foot and he swung it out of her reach. She scowled and lunged for it. He smirked and played a game of keep away. "Vegeta you jerk!" She shouted. "Let me help!" Vegeta rolled his eyes, mirth twinkling in their depths. After a few more minutes of teasing, he let her catch him. Bulma grinned in triumph, but held his leg firmly. She pulled away the remaining bandages and noticed the blood stains on his skin. She examined the foot. "You don't look all cut up… Where'd all the blood come from?" He gave her a look and she snorted. "Fine. Don't tell me." She took the clean, unraveled bandages and gave his leg a firm, but gentle wrap job. She repeated the ministrations on his other leg.

"There." She said, overlooking her work. "That wasn't so bad now was it?" Vegeta looked at the bandages disinterestedly. She sighed. "Listen, about earlier. I should've told you I had a boyfriend. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on like that." She scowled at the floor, the feelings of hurt resurging in her chest. "Yamucha is… not the greatest. In fact, he's a complete and total idiot, but I won't cheat on him. I won't stoop to his level."

A hand placed gentle fingers on her chin, lifting her gaze and to meet his. She hadn't noticed when he moved so close. Vegeta's dark eyes demanded her to explain herself. She saw such concern for her there. It was startling in its intensity. Bulma stared into those eyes and felt gratitude.

 _Might as well tell him_. She sighed sadly. "It's nothing. Just…" She groped for the words. "I thought he'd changed, you know? He's a good guy, but hasn't always been faithful. I worry about what our future might be. I… I don't want to feel like somebody's sloppy seconds anymore."

Vegeta's eyes hardened. He got to his feet and effortlessly lifted her to hers. His expression didn't change, but he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. He searched them for a while, making her felt oddly exposed before his gaze. Those eyes were so dark and piercing. Like he could seek out her motives with a single glance. After a moment or two of continued searching, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. His eyes fell shut and he breathed evenly. She closed her eyes and held her breath. His skin was cool. Her heart fluttered in her chest.

Vegeta made her forget about her problems so easily. What was it about him that was so comfortable? So reassuring? So refreshing? And now, so close to him, why did she feel such anticipation?

The pressure lifted from her forehead. She opened her eyes to see Vegeta's back. He left the room so suddenly that Bulma was bewildered. She was so sure he was about to kiss her. Blushing, she hurriedly followed him.

 ***Downstairs***

Vegeta stomped through the house, ire rising against the weakling. _He dares to seek out other females while still pledging himself to Bulma?_ He thought in disgust. _What lowlife scum._ If he was going to test his plan, now was the time. Her honor needed to be saved. Sure he'd been embarrassed when she burst into his room unannounced, but he'd heard the yelling downstairs and noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks. Yes she forgot her woes in his predicament, but as soon as she mentioned the weakling the sickening emotions returned to her face.

She was hurt and by Kami he wasn't going to let the fool get away with it!

He found the weakling in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. Wordlessly he strode over to him and slapped him across the face.

"AUGH!" Yamucha staggered away from the prince. "WHAT THE HECK MAN?!"

Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest. _I challenge you for the right to pursue Bulma._ He sneered at the taller man. _Though it will hardly be a challenge._

"Why you little…"

"Yamucha!" Bulma gasped. Vegeta winced. He'd forgotten she'd followed him. Bulma rushed past him to Yamucha's side. "Yamucha, what happened?! Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine!" He held a hand to his cheek, glaring hotly at Vegeta. "Your _bodyguard_ just hit me!"

"Hit you?" She turned to Vegeta, a stern look on her face. "Vegeta! You can't just hit people like that!"

Vegeta scoffed at her. _I do what I want, woman._

Yamucha took Bulma's hand, still glaring at Vegeta. "C'mon Bulma. Let's get out of here."

Bulma pulled her hand away from Yamucha's. "No Yamucha. I'm still mad at you ya know." She scowled at him. "In fact, I was just telling Vegeta about your cheating ways. I think you deserved that little slap!"

Vegeta laughed at the weakling's expression, though no sound emitted from his throat. _The woman takes my side!_ He smirked mockingly the scarred man. _You aren't even worth her wrath._

Yamucha winced at her words. "Geez Bulma! I said I was sorry! You didn't need to send out your dog!"

Bulma bristled. "He's not a dog! And even if he was, he's certainly not mine!"

"Obviously." He sneered at Vegeta. "You're _my_ girl!"

Vegeta sneered at the taller male. _Your girl?_ Without warning he grabbed Bulma's wrist and spun her around, pulling her close to his side. _Are you certain of that fact?_ He smirked smugly and planted a kiss on her temple.

"Vegeta!" Bulma was shocked. Her red, blushing face was immensely gratifying to the merman prince. The utterly enraged look on the face of the weakling only added to it.

"THAT'S IT YOU PUNK!" Yamucha advanced on the flame haired man. "YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

Vegeta released Bulma gently. Ignoring the taller man, he spun on his heel and left the room. He couldn't keep the triumphant grin from his face as left the little house. His plan was working. There _was_ a courting ritual and he'd just invoked it! _Now to see what challenge the weakling will decide upon._ Tradition dictated that as the challenger, he needed to allow the other party to decide the terms of the match. Would it be a test of speed? Strength? Technique? Perhaps a test of intelligence? Endurance? The prince reached what he deemed an appropriate distance from the house and turned to face the weakling.

His dark eyes widened in surprise as a fist came within inches of his nose. _What in the…_ He dodged to one side only to be met with a roundhouse kick. He dropped low to avoid it and executed a back handspring to regain some distance. He landed and fell into his newly adopted two-legged stance, bewildered.

Yamucha stood in front of him in his own fighting stance, regrouping before charging into another attack. Vegeta was stunned. No words beforehand? _Don't humans have any honor whatsoever?_ He dodged the next few attacks easily. He smirked to himself. _Regardless, it seems he has chosen fighting prowess. An area in which I excel!_ He caught a punch with a ruthless grin, twisted the arm behind the back of his assailant and pushed him roughly away.

The weakling shouted in frustration. He spun around to redouble his attack, but was met with a right straight to the jaw. He cried out in pain and held his face with one hand. Angrily he tried countering with a leg sweep, but a low twisting punch to the gut caught him off guard.

"AUGH!" Yamucha stumbled back. He took a new stance, one more cautious and studied his opponent. "You've got some fight in you, I'll give you that." He said begrudgingly.

Vegeta sneered at him arrogantly. _And you have none whatsoever._

"Stop it!" The men paused, turning to look towards the house. Bulma was running at them in a fury. "Stop fighting!"

"Stay out of this Bulma!" Yamucha snapped at her. "He's been asking for it!" He turned back to Vegeta, going in for a punch. "What kind of stunt are you trying to pull anyway?!" He ranted. "Bulma's _mine,_ you mute freak!"

 _That is yet to be seen, you human waste of space._ Vegeta dodged the blow, hitting Yamucha square in the face. S _he said she wouldn't lower herself to your level. I assume because you are no higher than the dirt you crawl upon._ Yes, none of the insults were aloud, but Vegeta said them all the same. They exchanged a few more blows until another direct punch to Yamucha's face caused the weakling's nose to pour blood. _Ha! First blood is mine! I have the victory!_ He lowered his fists with a smirk and turned to Bulma. _I have defeated your-_

He felt a punch hit the side of his head and he stumbled back a step to catch his balance. Dark eyes narrowed in anger at the fool who had dared to continue the bout. He'd drawn first blood! By rights the match was over! The weakling grinned infuriatingly, swiping his bloody nose with the back of his fist.

Vegeta felt his blood boil at the insolence. _Fine! You want a brawl?! I'll give you a brawl!_ He set his feet together and, in the merman style, held one hand in a strange floating position in front of him with the other in a solid fist at waist level.

"No Vegeta!" Bulma screeched. "Don't!"

Vegeta scowled. _She doesn't want me to bloody him further?_ He sighed irritably, but held his stance. _The things I do for this woman…_ Yamucha advanced on him. He waited until the scarred man was almost on top of him before dropping low and swiftly coming up inside Yamucha's hit zone. The scarred man jerked in surprise, but was unable to stop the flurry of pinpoint attacks dealt to him by the shorter fighter.

Vegeta finished the barrage of strange punches and danced away gracefully, floating and pivoting on his feet. Surprisingly, Yamucha didn't feel any damage. He smirked and started moving towards Vegeta with intent to destroy, but encountered a problem. His arms didn't move.

He grunted with strain, but still no movement. He stared in horror at Vegeta. "What did you _do_?!"

 _I took away your weapons._ Vegeta relaxed from his stance. He crossed his arms and stared at the scarred man. _Concede._

Yamucha grit his teeth. "You think that'll stop me from kicking your butt?!" He ran at Vegeta. "I'll still beat you down!"

 _In your dreams, perhaps._ Vegeta's own wry comment made him chuckle. Then, in classic merman fashion, he leapt up and kicked him powerfully in the chest with both feet. Yamucha went sailing away and Vegeta flipped himself about so that he was once again standing in that arrogant pose. Yamucha hit the sand with a dull thud and the prince was satisfied.

That is, until Bulma entered the picture.

"Yamucha!" The blue scientist rushed over to her beau. "Yamucha, are you okay?!"

"I'm… fine…" Yamucha managed. He felt like he just got kicked by a horse. Catching his breath was rather hard at the moment. He was pretty sure that more than one rib was cracked. "I really… under… estimated him…"

"No kidding! You shoulda known better you moron!" She turned on Vegeta. "And you! What were you thinking?! You could've killed him!"

 _Foolish woman._ Vegeta scowled at her concern, confused. _I have more control than that._ He pointed haughtily at the weakling. _Besides, he started it._

"AUGH you're such a jerk!" Bulma turned back to Yamucha. "I'm so sorry Yamucha!"

"No… I'm sorry Bulma." Yamucha looked up at her with a pained smile. "I shouldn't… have let her… kiss me…"

"Oh Yamucha…" Bulma shook her head sadly. "You goober." She helped him to sit up and lifted one of his arms over her shoulders. "C'mon. Let's get you inside and fixed up."

Vegeta watched the scene with alarm. _Wait… She's showing him affection? Over his loss?_ He watched them move slowly back into the house. Dismay filled him. Was she offended by his performance? Did he do something wrong in the disabling blow? He ran a hand through his black flame of hair, distraught. _I think I may have misunderstood something._

 ***Later***

Yamucha sat on the couch, resting his cracked and aching ribs. He shifted slightly, grimacing at the pain the little motion caused. Did that mute freak really have to beat him that badly? He'd been to the only doctor on the island who reassured him that it was nothing life threatening, or even in need of surgery. Even so, it would still take a while for his ribs to heal. His thoughts were redirected as the beautiful Bulma entered the room.

She offered him a glass of water. "Here ya go Yamucha." She smiled apologetically. "I really am sorry about all this."

"Hey, it's not your fault you have a homicidal house guest." Yamucha accepted the glass of water.

Bulma fought down a rather indignant comeback and smiled weakly. "He's… not that bad once you get to know him." She knew that Vegeta was going to win that fight from the very start. Part of her even cheered him on as he bloodied Yamucha's nose.

"Sure babe." Yamucha chugged the water. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and set the glass down on the coffee table. "I'll admit that we got a little bit out of hand."

"A little bit?" Bulma laughed, the comeback coming out anyway. "Yamucha, you provoked him and he kicked your butt!"

"That's not fair!" Yamucha pouted. "He provoked me! I'm a victim here!"

"You provoked each other." Bulma waved his excuses away. "Both of you are arrogant jerkfaces. Let's move on." She looked at him and smiled. "How's the team? I never did ask how the guys were."

"Oh. They're fine." Yamucha shifted uncomfortably. "Tien's still dating Launch, Krillin's still seeing Juu… Not too much has happened apart from this season's games." He looked down at his hands. "Speaking of relationships, Bulma, I need to talk to you about something."

Bulma quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh?"

"I haven't been straight with you. I really came all the way out here to talk… about _us_."

"Oh." She sighed. _Here comes the inevitable "it's not you, it's me" speech._ Finally it was time to resolve the issue. "Well, I can't say I haven't been expecting this. I mean, we've been dating off and on for what… ten years now?"

"Something like that."

"Yeah. I get the feeling that we can't go on like this." She glanced behind her to see Vegeta standing in the doorway. She flashed him a grin. He smirked and she turned back to Yamucha. "We've changed a lot since the beginning and neither of us want to stay boyfriend-girlfriend I'm guessing."

Yamucha smiled. "You got that right babe."

"Right then." She nodded, smiling. She felt a lot better about this breakup than she thought she would. "So how about we just go ahead and-"

"Marry me!"

Silence.

Bulma's jaw dropped. "Wh-what?!"

"Marry me Bulma!" Yamucha leaned forward earnestly. "I don't want to stay this way! We're always apart and I don't want that anymore! Things get between us like that stupid wreck and we're back to yelling at each other! I'm in love with you and want to marry you!"

 _This is NOT what I expected!_ Bulma was flabbergasted. She stared wide eyed at her boyfriend. _What do I even say to that?!_ She'd honestly thought they were breaking up, but no! Yamucha wanted their relationship to be permanent! Deeper even! Could she handle that? With all the things he's said and done in the past? Repeatedly done in the past!?

Yamucha kept going, unaware of Bulma's internal struggle. "I want a family with you Bulma! I don't want anyone else to get in the way of our happiness. You feel the same way! Let's get married!"

"I…" Bulma stuttered. "I don't know what to say." She really didn't.

Yamucha smiled, reaching over and clasping her hands in his. "Just say yes."

She hesitated. "I… this is so sudden. I need some time to think." _I need some time to sort myself out._

The scarred man nodded, though he looked a little disappointed. "Okay. Sleep on it tonight. But please, make me the happiest man in the world tomorrow, alright?"

She nodded. Bulma pulled away from Yamucha and turned to leave the room. _Oh Kami, what do I do?_ She glanced around half hopefully.

But there was no sign of Vegeta.

 ***That night***

Vegeta stared over the ocean. He stood on the balcony of the second story and watched as the moon rose to take its place in the sky. In one hand he held the sharp knife of coral he'd recovered from the place he'd come ashore.

He was out of time.

The prince looked down at the knife. _I could threaten the woman to kiss me, or I could say my farewells and leave._ Either way, he would lose. Lose his honor in threatening the woman he loved to kiss him, or lose his freedom at the hands of the kingdom's sworn enemy. Which loss would he prefer?

He scowled. _If it hadn't been for the weakling's proposal…_ Yamucha had done it. He'd gotten to her before Vegeta did. The prince's heart sank into the pit of his stomach when he heard those words. The small hope that she would refuse was squashed as she made excuses. She hadn't made up her mind about the suitor at all. It meant that she didn't see him the way he saw her. She didn't feel the same way. It meant that Vegeta was as good as gone. She would choose the weakling.

And he was out of time.

Vegeta clenched teeth against the anger and sadness. He stared at the knife in his right hand. _I can do this. I don't need emotions interfering with my plans!_ He thought bitterly. _All I need is my strength. Strength enough to defeat my enemies! Strength enough to do what needs to be done! I don't need the… I don't need Bulma to love…_ He felt tears leak from the corners of his eyes. Salty and warm, they trickled down his face. He furiously rubbed the back of his hand across his face, scrubbing the sign of his weakness away. _Stupid emotions! Who needs a heart anyway?!_

He turned and leapt from his balcony to the one next to it. He landed softly and peered through the glass doors. Slowly, silently, he eased them open and crept to the bedside where his love lay sleeping. Lying there in the moonlight, she looked ethereal. Her pale skin shone like alabaster. Her blue hair fell in soft waves around and across her pillow. Her face was relaxed and her lips were parted slightly as she breathed the steady breath of deep sleep.

Vegeta couldn't look away. Even asleep her beauty astounded him. He shook his head, clearing it. Now was not the time for emotion. He clenched his teeth and slowly brought his knife up. He thought to plunge it into her pillow and wake her, shocking her into giving her what he wanted. Yet as he raised his arm, he paused. In that moment, Bulma gave a soft sigh and smiled. He froze, studying her. She remained sleeping, the smile fading from her face. Despair creased Vegeta's handsome features and he dropped his arm back to his side.

He couldn't do it.

True, it wasn't like he was actually going to do her harm, but he just couldn't do it. Even the false action seemed to him a betrayal. He loved her. He didn't want to become the kind of man she would hate. Even if his head wanted to, the deepest part of his heart denied the idea vehemently.

 _Emotions._ Vegeta chuckled to himself wryly. _Forget Kakkarot, emotions will be the death of me._ He knelt at her bedside and ran a gentle right hand through the blue tresses, careful not to wake her. He lifted his other hand and pulled from his neck his greatest trophy. The moonlight made the pale shark tooth shine. He looked down at Bulma and smiled sadly. _My greatest triumph, I give to you, human woman._ _Rarer than the leviathans of old, more precious to me than the tears of the ocean, you alone are the one thing I couldn't conquer._ He laid the tooth down on the mattress beside her pillow. _Look upon this trophy and remember me._ He looked again at her wistfully. _May the waters of the deep always bid you welcome, Bulma Briefs._

He turned from her then, running to the edge of the balcony and leaping off its precipice. He landed on the sand and took off down the beach. He sprinted towards the water, running as fast as he possibly could. At the water's edge, right as the surf drew back to punish the sand once more, he jumped into a smooth dive. He hit the water with nary a splash.

Instantly the change began. As fire seared through his legs, Vegeta swore he heard Frieza's laughter. The heartbreak took him fully then. She was human. He was a fool. She could never love a creature of the sea. How could he ever have thought this was a good idea? As blackness overcame over his mind, the prince vowed to never again set foot on land.

 ***The following day***

"Have you checked the waterfront? He might've gone down there to work out."

"He's not there Dad. He's not in his room, he's not on the beach, and he's not even in the kitchen!" Bulma clutched the massive shark tooth to her chest. She spent most of last night working things out with herself. When she awoke that morning, she found it next to her pillow. But the man it belonged to was nowhere to be found. Truly it was the only thing she had of his. She turned as the front door opened. "Mom? Is that you?"

"Yes dear!" Mrs. Briefs hurried in. "Did you find him?"

"No." Bulma looked at her earnestly. "Did you see him in the market?"

"I'm sorry honey. There wasn't any sign of Vegeta." Mrs. Briefs frowned in worry. "Oh I do hope he's alright. That young man seemed so alone when he arrived here."

"I'm sure he's fine honey." Dr. Briefs reassured her. "He's quite the capable fellow."

Bulma sighed. "But why would he leave? I thought he was happy here." He certainly seemed content. Well, as much as she could tell. She frowned angrily. "Jerkface could've at least said goodbye before he left."

Mrs. Briefs looked at her daughter pointedly. "He probably didn't want to."

"Huh?"

"Think about it Bulma. Things were going swimmingly until Yamucha arrived." She said. "It's like those soaps I watch from time to time. The mysterious sexy newcomer falls for the girl, but when the boyfriend shows up, they fight. Yamucha asked you to marry him and Vegeta leaves."

Bulma's eyes went wide. "What are you saying?"

"Good heavens dear! The boy was head over heels for you!" Her father exclaimed. "I may be a bit scatterbrained sometimes, but even that was plain to see!" He motioned with his hands. "The fight between them was over you! When you didn't outright reject Yamucha, I bet he thought he had no chance!"

Mrs. Briefs nodded. "He left rather than pine over your new engagement." She said simply. "Easier for him to leave than to confront you with his feelings. Just like Edward and Julianne. Poor boy was heartbroken after Bernard proposed. Oh I _do_ hope they get back together in season six."

"Darling, this isn't a TV drama."

Bulma was stunned. "He… left because of that?" He liked her that much? That he'd rather leave than see her with another man? Was… was he in love with her? Her heart welled with affection, but was soon eclipsed by irritation.

"That idiot!" She shouted, exasperated. "OOOOH! When I find him, I'm gonna hit him so hard his grandchildren are gonna feel it! Why are ALL the men in my life so romantically blind!?"

Dr. Briefs was bewildered. "I'm sorry?" He watched Bulma stomp to the door. "Where are you going?"

"To find Yamucha." Bulma said angrily. "I need to tell him that I'm not going to marry him."

 ***Elsewhere***

Vegeta awoke to the gentle ebb and flow of the tide around him. He floated motionless in the water, drifting on the current as light as a feather. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. Well, he was back in the sea. _Hooray._ He thought sarcastically. Yawning, he stretched his arms and…

He paused. Legs or tail? What did he have now? The prince looked down and saw his long, beautiful tail. It stretched out languidly beneath him, tough skin almost shining in the light. A thrill of joy caught him and he reached down to stroke the familiar fin. It seemed so long ago that he'd lost it. He gave it an experimental flick and shot through the water. He reveled in the feeling. No pain. No fire! He flipped and spun and cavorted like a guppy through the deep. It felt so good to swim again.

"Well, I'm glad you are adjusting properly."

Vegeta stilled at the grating sound of the voice. He turned and scowled at the figure before him.

"Hello Prince Vegeta." Freiza smiled, sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight. "I'll trust that you didn't forget our little deal."

 _How could I?_ Vegeta growled silently. _Though it seems that I don't need your pathetic potions to give my strength back to me._

Freiza smirked. "You know, I think I prefer you without a voice. Makes you a better servant."

 _I hate you so much._

"It certainly has knocked you down a few pegs if nothing else." He cackled as Vegeta silently said something he was sure was offensive. "How wonderful it was to see you writhing in pain. Such a shame it ended so soon. Ah well." He tossed him a small vial filled with a dark viscous liquid. "Drink that. It will soothe the pain of your transformation."

Vegeta rolled his eyes at this, but obeyed. He was honor bound after all.

Frieza watched him down the draught and smiled. "You belong to me now my prince." He beckoned to the merman with a pale hand. "Come, we have quite a journey ahead of us."

Having no choice, Vegeta followed the octoman. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. He had an idea of where they were heading. He inwardly hoped he was wrong.

 ***Later***

"King Vegeta!"

The king's head snapped towards the archway. A servant sped through the water, screeching to a stop right in front of the throne.

"My king!" He pounded his fist over his heart and bowed. "I have news about your son!" He panted.

King Vegeta's eyes hardened. "What news? Speak up!"

"He… he is returning to the palace grounds!" The servant gasped out. "Sentries have seen him coming through the west gate!"

The king scowled. Something was off. Vegeta never used any of the gates into the city. Claiming it was too public of an entrance. "Anything else?"

"He was in the company of…" the servant swallowed nervously, "the traitor Frieza."

It was as if a cold current swept through the throne room. King Vegeta's glare was downright frosty as he turned to his head of the guard. "Nappa, prepare the palace. Every guard is to be on high alert." Nappa bowed and he turned back to the servant. "Go now and tell the ambassadors to remain in their rooms."

"Yes my lord." The servant swam away in a hurry.

King Vegeta scowled to himself and reached over, gripping his trident fiercely. He directed his glare out the window into the throne room. They would be here shortly.

Mere minutes later, as the king predicted, Prince Vegeta and the traitor Frieza swam into the throne room. His grip tightened on his trident as he spoke.

"Vegeta! What is the meaning of this!?"

Vegeta scowled fiercely at his father, gesturing at Frieza. King Vegeta looked at his son in puzzlement. Why did the prince choose to remain silent? He was about to shout in anger at his insolence when Frieza started laughing.

"My apologies, _your highness_." He laughed mockingly. "But what your son means to say is that I have recently collected on a little wager of ours. He lost his voice and his freedom." A wicked grin, sinister and cold, stretched over his pale face. "Your son belongs to me now."

"What?!" King Vegeta glared at his son in outrage. "Is this true?!" Vegeta sighed heavily, but nodded an affirmative. King Vegeta slapped his forehead. "You've got to be kidding me." He muttered.

Frieza laughed again. "I assure you that this is no joke." He clapped his hands together. "Now, I believe we have business to discuss."

Both mermen sneered at the octoman, but King Vegeta spoke. "I have no business to do with _you_ , traitor!"

"Oh, but don't you want to regain your son?" Frieza said slyly. "After all, I have control of him. His power, his will, his life is all to serve me. Do you not wish to see him freed?"

King Vegeta looked at his son. He chuckled dryly. "He got himself into this mess, he can get himself out."

Vegeta rolled his eyes, but a smirk appeared on his face. He knew his father would not bow to Frieza's wishes. In fact, he'd counted on it.

The octoman paused. "Oh really?" He tapped Vegeta with one of his tentacles and suddenly, Vegeta was ramrod straight. His expression broke into one of extreme pain. He opened his mouth and screamed silently. King Vegeta rose from his seat in alarm.

"What have you done?!"

"The medicines I have given him have a nasty side effect." Frieza said with a smile. "They've made it so that any touch from the poison in my body is enough to drive him mad with pain. With any luck he'll die with incredible agony." He put a hand to this chin. "Oh, but this is a problem he has to work out for himself. You won't help him."

King Vegeta looked helplessly on as the prince twisted in pain, trying to scream, but no sound coming from his throat. He grit his teeth. "Foolish boy. What had you to gain from this oath?"

Vegeta caught his words. In unbearable torment, he locked his eyes with his father. His teeth clenched against the pain, but King Vegeta saw the words in his eyes.

 _Don't do it._

In that moment, the king didn't see the prince. He only saw his son in agony. His heart tightened within him. He knew he couldn't let him go on like this. Despite his rebellious ways, despite all the times they fought, he loved his stubborn son and would do anything for his health and happiness. King Vegeta slumped slightly in defeat. "What do you want, Frieza?"

Frieza was pleased as punch. "The return of my ki, if you please."

King Vegeta flicked his eyes to the ceiling, as if pondering the decision. Nappa caught the signal and slowly moved his mermen into the room. Then the King swung his trident around and pointed it at Frieza.

"Release my son first."

Frieza smiled viciously. "Return my ki first, or your son will experience this until he dies."

"Fine!" King Vegeta sent a burst through his trident and in an instant, the ki he'd stripped of the octoman returned to Frieza's body. In the same instant, all the guards in the room charged.

The octoman laughed in triumph and spun, creating a small vortex as he knocked weapons away and shot ki blasts, taking the guards by surprise.

King Vegeta ignored this and rushed to his son's side. Vegeta was still rigid with pain. The son looked at the father with angry betrayal in his eyes. The king snorted. "You are my son. What else did you expect me to do?"

Vegeta would've scoffed had he a voice. The King reached out to grip Vegeta's shoulder gently. The touch sent stabs of pain through him, but Vegeta withstood it.

"Let's get you to the medical wing." King Vegeta brought his son in close, voice soft. "I won't let you die from your own stupidity."

"Ah, but that's just what is going to happen." The king whirled around to see Frieza, surrounded by the blood of his warriors drifting in the water. "You see, I don't much appreciate being attacked like that. I believe I'll just let Vegeta die." He casually lifted a hand and shot King Vegeta with a deadly beam of ki.

King Vegeta let out a roar of pain and clutched his chest. Vegeta felt a new kind of terror as he saw blood flow through the water from the wound in his father's chest. His father looked at him and gave him a strange half smirk. Like Vegeta, his father had very expressive eyes. The words were obvious.

 _I'm proud to have you as a son_.

He lapsed into unconsciousness and something in Vegeta broke. The abject terror that filled him was replaced with a rage deeper than he'd ever felt. He screamed.

Sound ripped from his throat.

Frieza spun around at the scream. His eyes went wide. "Impossible!" He spat. "That spell couldn't be broken by anything but my death!" A fist met his face and he went spinning into the wall.

Goku grinned, blowing water over his knuckles. "Vegeta is a surprising guy." He shot through the water to meet Frieza in a flurry of punches.

"Fool! No one is stronger than I!"

Goku dodged a poisonous tentacle. "You're the one who's the fool! Vegeta is stronger by far!" He retaliated with a hard kick from his tail. "Heck, _I'm_ stronger than you and I'm dumber than a rock!"

Infuriated, Frieza fought harder against the merman. As they battled, Vegeta continued screaming. He'd lost the woman he had fallen in love with, he'd lost his freedom at his own hands, and now he'd lost his father. It was all his fault. He couldn't deal with it any longer. The guilt took a back seat to rage. Frieza mortally wounded the king. Mortally wounded _his father_. The rage overwhelmed the pain and his ki shot to heights previously unknown to him. He was left with only power and thoughts of vengeance.

On the other side of the room, Goku took a hard punch to the face and spun away to dissipate the damage. Frieza was stronger than he anticipated. Having to watch for poison made it even harder. He moved to gain some distance from the octoman and his eyes met Vegeta's. He saw the utter fury there and he grinned toothily.

"Let's get him Vegeta."

The next few minutes were chaos. It was a whirlwind of blood and violence in the seawater. The battle was hard, but Frieza was surprised to find himself at a disadvantage. All the years that the octoman lamented the loss of his ki, he neglected to strengthen what little he did have. As a result, he was no match for the warriors who trained like it was the very water they breathed. At the end of the struggle, there were two very bloody and beaten mermen. There was no sign of Freiza.

Only a cloud of sea foam drifting in the current.

 ***Meanwhile***

"What do you mean ' _no_ '?!"

"I mean ' _no_ ' as in ' _no I'm not going to marry you_ '." Bulma stood with her hands on her hips and defiance flashing in her eyes.

"But I'm in love with you Bulma!" Yamucha cried, getting up from his place on the couch. "You are in love with me too!"

"No, I'm not." Bulma said determinedly. "I thought I was before, but now I'm sure I'm not."

"How can you say that?"

"I realized that we're not suited for each other." Bulma said. "You don't want to be tied down to one girl and I don't want to just be a convenient girlfriend to you. You talk about marriage, but after ten years of the same stuff, I don't think it'll go any different."

"What!? That's not true!" Yamucha's face darkened. "I bet it was that guy! Your _houseguest_.He's the one who pushed you to this wasn't he?!"

Bulma huffed in irritation. "No one made me make this decision. I said what I meant before. You haven't changed since we first started dating. We don't talk like we used to, we don't have that connection anymore, and frankly your eyes wander too much. I don't want to be in a relationship that only takes."

"So you're saying you _don't_ have feelings for him?!" Yamucha yelled accusingly, ignoring her explanations. "Even after you told me he was just your guest!?"

Bulma scowled at her now ex-boyfriend. "He really _was_ just my guest!"

"You like him, don't you?!" Yamucha was red faced and angry at this point. "Admit it!"

"You know what?! I _do_ like him!" She hollered at the scar faced man, fed up with his crap. "He may not be able to talk, but he makes me feel what I haven't felt in years with you! He's smart and stubborn and hard to read sometimes, but so am I! In fact, I think I'm in love with him!" She got up in his face and growled the next words menacingly. "So back _off_."

Yamucha was flabbergasted. There was nothing he could do but watch as Bulma turned from him and walked through the door, slamming it behind her.

Bulma stomped her way to the main entrance of the hotel. As she went, her pace got faster and faster. Soon she was running away from the hotel. She only stopped after she made it to the shore.

The water lapped at the beach in its steady rhythm, but was nearly drowned out by the thundering of her heart. That was a lot harder than she thought it would be. She meant what she said, but seeing him there, insisting he was in love with her… the temptation to let it all go and be like they'd always been was strong. Still, she remembered all the times where she felt heartbroken even in the midst of their relationship. She tried to make him understand how she felt, but he still ignored all the signs that they weren't right for each other. It wasn't right. She had to get out.

She didn't regret her decision. In fact, she felt lighter than she had in a long time. Yet as Bulma looked out over the water, she felt her heart clench. She put a hand to her chest where the large shark tooth lay over her heart.

"Vegeta, where are you?"

 ***Elsewhere***

Prince Vegeta lie on the slab of marble, terrible wracking pain pulsing through him as the dead octoman's poison did it's work through his body. Beside him, on a similar slab of marble, the king lay bleeding from the gaping hole in his chest. Various mermen sped around the room, trying to find a way to heal their king and prince.

So far, nothing was working.

Goku, badly beaten himself, leaned against the prince's slab, face pinched in worry. Vegeta trembled, straining against the poison and the pain. He grimaced in sympathy.

"Hang in there Vegeta. The medics are doing everything they can."

Vegeta grunted and opened his eyes. Pain rippled above, under, and in him, but he did not acknowledge it. Instead, he spoke to his rival in a grating voice, painful in its disuse.

"Save my father first." He ground out. "Keep the king alive."

Goku nodded gravely. "We're working on it." He didn't know how to tell the prince that things weren't looking good for either of them. He laid a hand on Vegeta's shoulder against his better judgment. "You didn't kiss the girl, did you?"

Vegeta cursed as the pain of heartbreak resurged in his chest. The bodily pain was hard enough to bear by itself. "What's it _look_ like?!" He spat viciously, trying to jerk away from Goku.

Goku didn't retract his hand. "Vegeta, what happened up there…"

"No." Vegeta interrupted him. "Don't speak of it." He grit his teeth. "It doesn't matter anyway." That door was closed. There was no going back. He turned his head to the side. "How is my father?"

Goku looked over at the slab where the king lay. King Vegeta was deathly pale. The fact that he was still alive, albeit barely alive, was miraculous. However, efforts to keep him alive were going nowhere fast. The big merman's face crumpled. "The king…"

"Your highness!" An abrupt call startled Goku and he turned to see a silver blue merman swim up to him quickly. Vegeta jerked his head up to look at the servant who addressed him. "My lord prince! The ambassador from the far east said he may help!"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at the servant. "The Namekians?"

"Yes!" The servant swam back to the door and ushered the two mermen in. They were green in color and had long eel-like bodies. The smaller one was adorned in a robe of sorts that billowed behind him when he swam. The taller one was obviously the bodyguard for the smaller one.

The little eel merman bowed courteously, though in an urgent manner. "My prince, I am Dende, ambassador of our people. We Namekians have healing abilities and if you wish, we may be able to…"

"Heal my father." Vegeta interrupted as pain wracked his body. At this rate, he wasn't going to last much longer. "Please… Heal the king."

Goku looked in shock at Vegeta. Since when did he ever say please? The little Namekian bowed again and darted over to the king, his bodyguard hot on his fins. He placed his hands flat on the King's chest and began the process of healing him. Goku looked at Vegeta, worry plain on his face. "Vegeta…"

"I'm _dying_ you idiot!" Vegeta ground out, pain beginning to overwhelm him. "That poisonous scumbag… gave me a potion to increase his poison's potency." He looked at Goku with a scowl. "I was honor bound to obey… and now I am reaping the repercussions." He directed his gaze back at the ceiling. "My kingdom… no, my _father_ should not have to pay for my foolishness. He needs to be healed first." A small, painful smile stretched his mouth. "You were right Kakkarot… I never should've… gone to the surface… I am… such a fool."

Goku looked on in horror as Vegeta's eyes slowly closed. "No… No Vegeta!" He gripped the merman prince's shoulders and shook him harshly. Vegeta groaned in pain, but Goku ignored it. "You are _not_ giving up! I don't care what I have to do, but you are _not dying_ on me today!" He powered up his own weakened ki and pumped it into Vegeta.

Vegeta's eyes flew open. He stared at Goku in surprise. Sharing his ki? His eyes narrowed. He threw out a punch with just enough strength in it to knock Goku away. The taller merman sailed away with a squawk. He righted himself and looked back at Vegeta in shock.

The prince glowered at his rival and long time friend. "You don't get to give your ki to me when you need it to keep your idiotic self alive."

Goku growled at him, showing his sharp teeth. "That is not how a merman is supposed to die!"

Vegeta wrenched himself off the marble slab to float towards Goku. "It doesn't matter anyway! Things won't ever be the same!" He threw a feeble punch at him, but hit only water. "After my treachery, I deserve nothing less than death!"

"Are you crazy?!" Goku exclaimed. He threw his own weak punch and actually managed to hit the prince. Vegeta cried out in pain at the light blow. It sent him sailing back to bump against the marble slab he'd been laying on. He howled again in agony and flopped over onto it, helpless to stop himself much like the fish that was taken out of water.

Goku swam weakly over to him, drifting down to look him dead in the eye. "You were following your heart! You wanted to learn about humans! You wanted to learn about the blue woman!"

"Her name… is _Bulma_."Vegeta gritted out. He lay there curled into a fetal position. The pain wouldn't stop. Things were beginning to blur in his vision and he felt unbelievably nauseous. He was sure he was dying.

"Bulma then!" Goku pulled Vegeta upright enough that he was staring straight into his dark, pain filled visage. "Don't regret that! It wasn't your fault that Frieza was a scumbag! Don't take his crimes upon yourself!"

Vegeta focused his bleary eyes on his friend. "You idiot." He said, head lolling slightly to the side. "I was a prince… Today… I was a fool."

"So you made a mistake! Accept responsibility for it! Don't use death as an excuse to run away from your problems!" His stern face crumpled a bit. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Please don't die Vegeta. This kingdom needs you. Your father needs you. You're my best friend and I need you too." He tightened his grip on the prince's shoulders. "I'll even let you punch dolphins again."

Vegeta was on the brink of consciousness, but still he smirked in that arrogant way of his. "Cocky… little freaks… deserve it." He flopped back on the marble slab, motionless.

Just then, the two Namekians rushed over. They shoved Goku out of the way and laid hands of Vegeta, both of them. The tall one pumped ki into the beaten form and the small one sought out the poison. They had come here asking for help from the great warrior race. They just hoped that they were not too late to help the great protectors of the sea themselves.

 ***Days later***

Bulma slumped at the kitchen table, idly playing with the shark tooth that hung from a cord around her neck. She was at a loss. There had been no word from Vegeta for days. No one had seen him since that day at the market. No one knew him on the island or in the surrounding islands either. Where did he come from? Where did he disappear off to? Did he have a family? More questions piled up around her ears and she sighed. The mysterious man she cared for simply vanished.

Her pocket buzzed and she reached down to pull out her phone. More messages from Yamucha. She groaned. When would he learn to just let things be? She leaned her head in her hand and stared at the screen awhile. She'd made a good choice in breaking up with Yamucha. The stress of that relationship had all but left her. Now though, what had she gotten herself into with Vegeta? He was gone and she had no way of finding him.

"Bulma?" The blue haired genius was pulled from her thoughts by her father's concerned voice.

She looked up at her father's concerned face. "Yeah dad?"

"How are you holding up?" The older scientist pulled out a chair and sat down beside his daughter.

"As well as can be I guess." Bulma shrugged halfheartedly. "Still no word about Vegeta." Things were really dragging her down of late. Where could mister grumpy jungle man have gone?

Dr. Briefs gave her a small encouraging smile. "Don't worry Bulma. I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere." He patted her on the back. "In the meantime, I think I have something that might cheer you up."

Bulma quirked an eyebrow at her father. "Oh yeah?"

The mustachioed father smiled and pulled a small, black hard drive from the pocket of his lab coat.

Bulma's eyes went wide as she took the hard drive from his hands. "You… how did you…"

"Well, since you had the spot marked on the maps in the lab, I sent a small team of divers to find the darn thing." Dr. Briefs grinned. "It was right where you marked it, perfectly waterproofed just like you said."

Bulma leapt out of her seat with a squeal. "Oh THANK YOU daddy!" She threw her arms around her father. "I can't believe you found it!" She released the good doctor and fled the kitchen, dashing straight for her laboratory. She called out behind her. "I'll let you know what I find!"

She hurtled into the lab and made a beeline for her computer. She plugged the external hard drive in and began pouring over the data from each of the test runs they had performed. It felt so _good_ to be doing something useful again. Moping around over Vegeta wasn't doing her any good and now that she had the hard drive back, she felt driven again.

Page after page of data filled the screen as she looked through the files. She noted that until the submersibles broke, all the opened ones managed to record some data about their surroundings. Too bad all of them were broken and gone at the bottom of the sea.

She skimmed through the data for test batches A-V rather quickly. Most of them had the almost the exact same pattern. There was only a few seconds recorded. All the opened ones showed signs of severe weather and trauma to the instruments. It was only when she got to test batch W did she see change in the data.

"Hmm... Test batch V was kind of a dud." Bulma ruminated to herself. "Test batch W was the last one we had. I wonder how much information capsule one recorded before it sunk." She tapped the keyboard anxiously, bringing up the data of batch W. To her utter surprise, there were two steady signals of information received. One dated from the storm and the other from a few days later.

She narrowed her eyes. She could've sworn she lost the second capsule when she was swept overboard. How in the world did it get activated? She compared the data files side by side. Both had been opened and both had recorded video footage. She'd installed a camera to each submersible when she made them, but until test batch W none of them could even go into the start up sequence for the camera because of the harsh weather. Furthermore, submersible 1 showed severe weather readings, but submersible 2 showed calm, warm waters.

Curious, Bulma opened the video file of the first submersible. Waves beat the camera hard even as it sunk beneath the ocean. There was no sound, but she bet the wind was howling just as bad as she remembered. She saw through the eyes of the little submersible the tilting and final collapsing of the boat. It spun about as it sank lower into the water, approaching and colliding with the submersible. The little machine was spun round and round before the hull smacked it again and the video on her computer was nothing but static. She sighed softly at the sight. She felt bad for her little creation, even though it was mostly machinery. Still, this was great! She knew what she had to do to make them better.

She smiled to herself, thinking of all the ways to improve them. She clicked on the video from the second submersible. Time to figure out how the mysterious nonsensical readings came to be. Bulma waited for the picture to focus and tapped her fingers impatiently.

The image became clear and she was shocked into stillness. Her jaw worked soundlessly. It was a short video, only lasting a minute. Then screen went dark and finally she was able to utter the only words she could think of right then.

"DADDY COME QUICK!"

 ***Minutes later***

Dr. Briefs removed his glasses. "Mother of Kami." He said, more than shocked. He stared sightlessly at the darkened screen for a moment before reaching over to replay the video once more.

The image fuzzed in slowly. The camera automatically focused itself and the picture became clear. A vast, richly decorated room filled the screen. Before them, seated on a throne made of shimmering coral and precious stones, sat a merman.

Dr. Briefs had to rub his eyes a second time. It was no lie, no trick of the lens.

There was an actual merman on camera.

He was half man, half fish, with a trident and a crown, sitting on a throne upon a raised dais obviously made for royalty. He wore armor of shimmering opalescence and had many dark pearls around his tail. His hair defied gravity in a sharp flame shape. His face was noble, angular and fierce as he studied the camera. His dark eyes were narrowed with suspicion. His lips were curved in a scowl surrounded by a short military styled beard.

Another figure floated in from the side and could be seen talking and gesturing to the camera. He had the same type of armor and the same dark pearls around his tail. He turned and pointed to the camera, looking at it for the first time. His hair was in the same flame shape as the merman on the throne. He was younger and clean shaven, but the resemblance was uncanny. He had the same fierce look to him as he spoke. The same nobility and haughtiness the merman on the throne had.

And he was painfully familiar.

"It's Vegeta." Bulma breathed, eyes wide. "Vegeta's a mermaid."

"Mermaids exist." Her father gripped the back of her chair for support. "Sweet Kami alive mermaids exist."

They watched, astounded as the one on the throne lifted a hand and shot a beam of light at the camera. The picture fizzled out slightly and the low battery icon blinked before the video died completely. The two scientists stared at the blank screen once again.

Bulma looked at her father, eyes still as wide as dinner plates. "Vegeta's a mermaid."

Dr. Briefs replaced his glasses and forced himself to breathe normally. "It seems that way, yes." He said. "But how in blue blazes did he have legs?"

Bulma felt electricity tingle up and down her spine. It was like getting a shot of adrenaline. "Oh Daddy, it totally makes sense! He didn't know about table manners or food or clothing! Plus, when we went to the book store, he absolutely freaked out over a book about mermaids!" Her eyes sparkled with excitement and the questions flowed from her like water. ""Who was the one on the throne? His father? Is he royalty of some kind? And why couldn't he speak? How _did_ he get his legs? Why did he show up here? Why choose to stay with us? Why…" She clapped her hands to her mouth in sudden clarity.

Dr. Briefs was feeling overwhelmed, but asked her, "What is it Bulma?"

"It was him." Bulma felt the epiphany rattle her being. "He's the one who saved me."

Her father's eyes went wider. "You… you mean he's…" He put a hand to his head. "I thought it was just you having a touch too much sun that day."

"I was beginning to think so too." Bulma's heart started beating hard in her chest. A smile spread across her face. "But Vegeta is the one who saved my life. He saved me that day and because he found my invention he came back to see me." A blush grew across her face. "He wanted to see me."

Dr. Briefs, though he was still reeling from the discovery, smiled at his daughter. "Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say you've fallen for the boy."

Bulma's blush deepened in intensity. "Daddy! This isn't the time for that! We have just made one of the biggest discoveries of our lifetimes! You know what we have to do now, right?"

"What's that dear?"

Bulma whirled back to the computer and typed away quick as a flash. "We have to find him!"

 ***Days later***

Goku swam against the current, watching his charges from near the surface. He had been tasked to help escort the Namekian ambassadors back to their part of the ocean. A full contingent of 30 seasoned warriors had been assigned with him to make the journey. They swam in a large school, keeping a close eye on the pair as they fought the currents back to the east.

Goku watched the taller Namekian assist the smaller one against the flow and smiled. He was so very thankful for what those two had done for his people. It was only natural that they be repaid. Originally, they had made the journey to ask for help and support against a species of shark that was slowly killing them off. However, once they saved the king and his son, they were assured that no beast in the sea would be able to touch them. The warriors of the great city of Atlantica would not let their kindness go un-repaid.

The tall merman felt joy bubble up in him. His king was alive! He did a few summersaults in the waves. His best friend was alive too! Granted, he was confined to the palace as punishment, but still! He was alive and as surly as ever!

Actually, Vegeta seemed to welcome the punishment. But it was strange. Never before had the prince been willing to stay in one place for any length of time. He'd always been roaming the seas, fighting battles, punching dolphins, and policing the waters wherever he found himself. He liked it that way and frankly, so did Goku. They had adventures that no merman would ever believe.

Yet, after this last bit of fighting, he supposed Vegeta had better stay put and make things right with his father.

Lost in his thoughts, Goku didn't see the boat until it was almost too late. He let out a squawk of surprise and dove deeper to avoid the nasty blades that propelled the boat forward. He'd seen what those things could do to a manatee. He turned and felt an irrational anger against boats. Couldn't humans stay on land where they belonged? Leave the manatees alone!

He slowed in the water, suddenly curious. Why was this boat way out here in the middle of nowhere? They were far away from touring routes and pretty far outside the range of the normal schooner trips. No fish flocked in this part of the ocean. It was too out of the way of spawning paths. What were these humans up to?

Goku glanced back at the ambassadors. They did not pause to see the boat as he did. The contingent swam steadily onward. He furrowed his brows as he fought with himself. Would they really need him to follow along? He made a snap decision and swam to the boat, deciding to take a look. The warriors the king chose could handle anything that came their way. He wouldn't be missed.

The merman's spiky mop of hair broke the surface of the water silently. He swam parallel to the boat for a while, circling it and trying to get a read on the humans. He heard voices, but couldn't see who they belonged to. The sides of the boat were too high. Goku frowned. Somehow he had to get up higher. An idea popped into his mind and he dove back beneath the water. Seconds later, he shot up and out of the water in a mighty burst, practically flying up the side of the boat. He caught the railing in a firm grip and used his powerful arms to carefully peek over the side.

"Daddy, did you hear something?"

Goku gasped and ducked behind the railing. _It's the blue human… I mean Bulma!_ What was _she_ doing out here? He tried to keep his long shimmering tail from slapping against the side of the boat and peeked back over the side.

A man with violet hair was talking to her. "No… Did you?"

Bulma frowned. "I thought I heard a splashing sound."

Goku winced. His exit from the water wasn't very silent. Hopefully they wouldn't investigate. He strained his ears to hear what they were saying.

"I'm sure it was just the boat. Anyway, are you sure it was around here?"

"Pretty sure." Bulma said, walking dangerously near where Goku was spying. "It's as near to the last known signal point as I can tell." She sighed. "I just wish there was a better way to find him."

Goku swallowed nervously, ducking down as Bulma leaned her back against the railing. The man spoke again. "Well, we have to go a bit further. That's all. Don't give up sweetie."

Bulma nodded. "Yeah. There's nothing on sonar yet except the occasional school of fish." She crossed her arms. "I don't know Dad. I just wish I knew exactly where he is."

 _Find him? Where he is?_ Goku felt anxiety over their conversation build in his chest. _Who are they looking for way out here?_

"We'll find him. Don't worry." The violet man leaned on the railing beside her. "The boy certainly can't be too hard to find. His hair is very distinctive."

 _His hair?_

Bulma giggled. "Don't let him hear you say that. He'd probably hit you."

"Nonsense!" The man blustered slightly. "He's a very respectful young man! I don't think he'd hit the father of his future wife!"

 _Future wife?_ Goku watched in puzzlement as Bulma turned from the man, face very red.

"Daddy! He doesn't even know I love him!" She said indignantly, eyes squeezed shut as the blush burned across her cheeks. "I don't even know if Vegeta _wants_ to get married!"

Goku's jaw dropped. _They're looking… for VEGETA?_ His gaze snapped to a gleam of white on her chest. A large familiar shark tooth hung from a cord around her neck. It bumped gently against her collarbone as she moved. His eyes widened. _That's… that's the tooth of the megolodon! That's Vegeta's greatest trophy!_ He looked back at Bulma in wonder. _He gave it to you!? Wow._ A smile stretched his face. _He really does love you. He's in love with a human. Who'd a thunk it._ The smile faded away as he considered it. The prince didn't want to discuss his time on land. It sounded like he regretted ever going up there. Yet here Bulma was, looking for him with his most prized possession around her neck. He frowned to himself. _What happened while he was up there?_

Goku heard a loud gasp and snapped out of his reverie. His eyes locked with the very surprised eyes of Bulma. She had turned around fully and saw him hanging there plain as day. They stared at each other, completely flabbergasted at the sight of each other.

The violet man standing beside her caught on and stared openly at Goku. Slowly he removed his glasses. "My Kami…"

"Uhh…" Goku had been caught. He just broke one of the most important rules in the kingdom. Don't let humans see you. Normally he would've panicked and immediately sunk the ship as to discredit anything the human would say. No human would believe another human about mermen when he'd just been in a brain scrambling accident. Trauma or whatever. However, in light of new information, mainly that his best friend was in love with this blue human, he merely smiled.

"Bye." He released the railing and dove back into the ocean, ignoring Bulma's pleas.

He gracefully hit the water and spun about, speeding toward the palace faster than a sailfish. He had to tell Vegeta that Bulma was looking for him! She wanted to see him bad enough that she tracked him down to the middle of the ocean. Goku grinned. The look on the prince's face was going to be priceless!

 ***Later***

"Vegeta! There's something I gotta tell you!" Goku yelled as he screeched to a stop in front of the royals.

"Kakkarot? What are you doing back?" King Vegeta asked, slightly taken aback. He stared down his nose at the warrior. "I had not received word that the ambassadors arrived safely."

Goku met the eyes of the king and flinched. That was not the proper way to address royalty. He thumped his fist over his heart and bowed to the king. "Sorry your majesty, but I have important news for the prince."

King Vegeta looked his son's best friend over in amusement. "Very well, make your report."

Goku looked up nervously. "It's… uh… only for the Prince's ears."

"Nonsense!" King Vegeta smirked. "Whatever is said to the prince can be said before the king."

Still the tall merman hesitated. "Well…"

"Out with it!" Vegeta hollered, irritated. He crossed his arms over his armored chest. "I haven't got all day Kakkarot."

Goku sighed. He knew Vegeta was going to regret this later. "It's Bulma, my prince. She wishes to see you."

Vegeta's face did a sudden transformation. His jaw dropped. His eyes went very wide. His face was immediately set aflame by a hot blush that seared up his neck and face. His jaw worked soundlessly as he sought to come out of the shock those few words put him in.

King Vegeta watched his son struggle with emotion and chuckled. "Why Vegeta. You never told me you were seeing a mermaid!"

"I'm not!" Came the indignant reply. Vegeta turned away from them both and tried to control himself.

King Vegeta laughed aloud and lifted off his throne. He floated down beside Goku and grinned. "And who might this lucky mermaid be? Who has caught the attention of our tumultuous prince?"

Goku caught the teasing tone of the King's voice and smiled slyly. "She is very pretty. Did you know that prince's favorite color is blue?"

"KAKKAROOOOOOOOT!" Vegeta tackled Goku to the floor. "SHUT UP!"

"So a lovely blue maiden. One of the Sinthians perhaps? I never thought that you'd actually…"

"NO!" Vegeta whirled on the king. "You stay out of this!" He grabbed a big chunk of Goku's hair and hauled him out of the throne room. " _We_ need to talk!"

The king watched his son haul the unfortunate merman into the corridor and snickered. Not much fazed the prince. This _had_ to be something important. Or at the very least, something embarrassing. Silently floating to the archway, the king secretly listened in on his son's private conversation.

"What do you mean she's looking for me!?" Vegeta hissed.

"That's what she said!" Goku's voice was strained. "She was out there with another man with violet hair on a big boat!"

 _A boat?_ King Vegeta's furrowed his eyebrows. Were they not talking about a mermaid?

"A boat?! You mean she's close!? How in the world did she track me this far?! I left nothing behind!" Vegeta's voice was painfully serious.

"…You left behind the megolodon tooth."

There was a brief pause. King Vegeta marveled. His son gave away his greatest trophy. Again, that never happened! Who _was_ this girl?

"I do not wish to talk about it."

"Vegeta… you love her, don't you?"

"I said I _do not_ wish to talk about it!"

"Why else would you leave your most treasured trophy with her if you didn't care about her?!" Goku argued. "You can't tell me it's because you…"

"She didn't choose me!" Vegeta interrupted angrily. The King's eyes widened at the angry passion in his son's voice. "I left it there because she chose another!"

"Vegeta…"

"I swore I would never go back there again." Vegeta continued. "I don't need to know about humans, I don't need to learn about the surface, and I don't need _her_!"

 _Humans?!_ Warning bells sounded in King Vegeta's mind. _The girl is a human?!_

"That's why you came back?" Goku's voice was soft. "She chose another and you had to fulfill your agreement with Frieza?"

Vegeta growled low in his throat. "I swore I would take my punishment and die fighting the control of that scumbag." His voice became soft. "I'd rather lose my freedom than lose my honor."

This was bad. He hadn't known about the prince's deal with the now dead octoman. He went on land and lived in the company of humans?! The angry king was about to confront them when Goku spoke again.

"She said she loved you."

The king paused.

"That's impossible." Vegeta's voice was scornful. "The weakling suitor had already…"

"He wasn't with her Vegeta. There was no one else on the boat, besides the violet man." Goku said adamantly. "You love her! She said she loved _you_! Why else would she be searching for this part of the ocean?"

"How do you know this?!" Vegeta challenged. He paused. "Wait… don't tell me they _saw_ you!"

"Ahah… Well..."

There was a slapping sound and a groan. "I don't believe this."

"Come on Vegeta." Goku tried. "It's not all _that_ bad…"

"Yes it is! You've broken the one rule I actually kept while on the surface! They didn't know about merfolk besides in legend and myth. Now they've seen _you_!"

"Well they had to have known about _you_ too! How else would they have known to look in this part of the sea?!" Goku argued back.

"I don't know!" Vegeta yelled. "But I'm not going to just swim by as she finds our people."

"But Vegeta, you can't leave the palace!"

"Seeing as you royally screwed us over, looks like I'm going to have to!" Vegeta spat. Goku started to protest, but was interrupted. "No! You stay here. That's an order. I don't need you screwing this up. And not a word of this to my father!"

Goku sighed and the sounds of swishing water filled the hall. Once he was sure his son had gone, the king came around the corner, startling the tall merman. "The spy Vegeta brought to me after he saved the blue woman. That's what she used to track us." He rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. "This is why we have rules about going to the surface."

The merman looked away, ashamed. "Uh… h-how much did you hear, your majesty?"

"All of it." The king studied him for a moment before sighing heavily. "Kakkarot, is what you said true? Is my son in love with a human woman?"

Goku nodded, eyes carefully averted from the king.

"And she loves him in return?"

"Uh… yes your majesty."

King Vegeta let his hand fall heavily on the warrior's shoulder. "Come. There are things we must discuss before my son does something we all will regret."

 ***Meanwhile***

Vegeta cut through the water at an amazing speed. Never before had he gone so fast. It might've been the strength increase from the painful ordeal on land. Or perhaps from the near death experience after fighting the traitor. Either way, he didn't think much about it. There was only one thing on his mind.

 _Bulma._

Why was she here? What motive could the human woman possibly have to come searching for him? She didn't know he was a merman. She didn't love him. Surely Kakkarot was wrong. He hadn't been chosen.

The more he thought about it, the angrier Vegeta became. Who did that human woman think she was? How _dare_ she search for him after all that she put him through! After all _he_ went through to learn more about her world! Didn't she have any decency? He didn't even want to see her!

Even though he denied it to himself, he really did want to see her. He wanted to see her again, see her smile, see her defiant eyes once more, but his pride, his hurt, and his heartbreak refused it violently. The mix of emotions was making him a little sick to his stomach.

He shook his head. Regardless of his feelings for the blue haired woman, which were currently confusing as all get out, he had to find her before she found his kingdom. Humans weren't allowed to find the kingdom. He was the prince and this was his responsibility. He screwed up once already. He wasn't about to let his father down again.

In the distance, closing fast, a boat could be seen cutting through the waves on the surface. Vegeta narrowed his eyes and shot towards it. In no time at all he was directly beneath the boat. He coiled under the ship, poised like a serpent about to strike. He poured his ki into his fin and his hands. The objective was to shoot though the hull like a spear. With any luck he'd hit the engine room and cause it to explode. Sink the ship, destroy the proof, and discredit the human. That was how it worked. He'd done it before.

He was about to do it when a thought struck him.

 _What if this wasn't Bulma's ship?_

Hescowled at the boat. _Dang it brain!_ The prince cursed. _Just sink it and move on! It's not a problem!_ But the thought kept nagging at him and the boat began to pull away from his position. Finally, he allowed the ki to dissipate. _I swear I'm turning into Kakkarot. If I start hanging out with dolphins, I'll off myself._ He sighed heavily and swam alongside the boat, keeping pace with it.

He ascended through the waves and circled the boat, straining to see anything on the deck. The sides of the boat were too high. He heard voices, but they were drowned out by the waves breaking against the prow as the boat traveled onward. He grit his teeth in anger. This was getting too troublesome. He really should just sink the ship and head back to the palace.

But what if this was just a mistake? Would he really risk drowning innocent humans?

Vegeta groaned into the water, making little bubbles around his mouth. _I hate my brain._ Slowly he scanned the boat until he found the indents that made a sort of ladder to the deck. They were the ones that divers use sometimes to descend beneath the ship. He reached out of the water and slowly pulled himself up, hand over hand, to peer across the deck of the boat.

His dark eyes went very wide. There, on the other side of the boat, leaning against the railing, stood the blue woman.

 _Bulma Briefs._

Soft blue hair ruffled by the wind, challenging blue eyes scanning the water, soft lips pursed in thought, she was still beautiful. As startlingly beautiful as the day he saw her brave the roughest seas in the world. He swallowed, heart suddenly pounding much harder than before.

It really was Bulma's ship. _Good._ _Now I can sink the ship without any regrets._

Yet even as the bitter thoughts churned in his mind, he lingered on the side of the boat. Watching her. For some reason, he couldn't tear himself away. Vegeta scowled in disgust at himself. It was stupid. He knew the two of them could never happen. She didn't love him and he could never be with her. He would live out his life alone and turn to sea foam in death just like the rest of his kind. This was what he accepted.

And here she was… ruining it all by simply being in the same waters.

The longer he hung there, the angrier he felt. What was _wrong_ with him? He needed to get rid of her. He concluded. That's how this would all end. Sink the ship and be rid of the female once and for all. He was about to let go of the side and dive back down into the water to carry out his plan when a voice from the deck startled him.

"Bulma dear, don't you think you should be monitoring the sonar?"

Vegeta blinked. _Her father is here?_ He watched the older mustachioed man walk over to Bulma. Curiosity overpowered his dark thoughts and he stayed where he was. _I should find out what they are up to while I am here_ , he reasoned.

"Sorry Dad, but I don't think the sonar is going to be of much help." Bulma smiled ruefully at her father. "I think they have found a way to hide themselves. Otherwise sonar would've found signs of mermaids far before we did."

 _So they_ are _here to find us._ Vegeta's eyes hardened. He was going to have to sink the ship now, regardless of his original motives. Somehow that thought didn't sit well with him.

"True." Dr. Briefs sighed. "I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to find him."

"You and me both Dad." Bulma rubbed her arms against the chill spray of seawater. "Vegeta must really not want to be found."

The good doctor put his arm around his daughter's shoulders. "Don't worry dear. We'll find him. And then you can tell him everything."

 _They really are searching for me._ Vegeta's curiosity ate at him. _Why would the woman be searching for me and not the kingdom?_ He almost didn't want to sink the ship anymore to find out what he meant by 'tell him everything'. He shook his head. _No. I can't lose my nerve now. Sink the ship, return to the palace, and punch Kakkarot in the…_

Bulma huffed suddenly, interrupting Vegeta's train of thought with an irritated comment. "I just wish he would've told us he was a mermaid."

There was a pause.

"A MERMAID?!" Outraged, Vegeta hauled himself over the side of the boat. "I AM NOT A MERMAID!" He shouted angrily at the pair. "I am a mer _man_! MAN! MALE! Not a female you stupid woman!"

There was another pause.

Bulma stared at him with wide eyes. "V-Vegeta?"

Dr. Briefs removed his glasses. "Mother of Kami."

Vegeta smacked himself in the forehead. _Great. Now they know I'm here._ Things just kept getting worse. "Screw this." He muttered angrily. He flipped around on those powerful arms of his and launched himself back into the sea.

"Vegeta wai-"

The prince hit the water before she could finish speaking. He sailed down to what he deemed an appropriate depth beneath the boat and turned. He brought his hands together and raised his ki. As he prepared himself to attack the boat, a splash and flurry of bubbles hailed a second entrance into the water. He was stunned to meet the flashing blue eyes of Bulma as she dove down through the waves.

"What are you doing?!" Vegeta watched her swim awkwardly down to his level. Humans aren't good in the water! As evidenced by her almost drowning the last time she went overboard. "Stupid woman! Are you trying to get yourself killed _again_?!"

Bulma flailed about, making motions with her hands. Vegeta snarled at her. "I have no idea what you are trying to say. Nor do I care."

A stream of bubbles fled Bulma's mouth in response. Her eyes went wide and she tried to turn and swim back to the surface. She'd gone too deep and panicked. Her movements were erratic and jerky, her clothes heavy with water.

Vegeta groaned aloud and let his ki dissipate. Didn't she realize humans can't breathe underwater? What was she thinking? Without a second thought, he scooped her up and hauled her back to the surface. They broke into the fresh air and immediately Bulma started coughing. She gasped and choked and clung to Vegeta for dear life.

"How many times do I have to save your stupid self?" Vegeta grumped as she coughed. He couldn't deny that holding her like this felt really good, but he didn't have to let her know. It was bad enough that he saved her again.

"As many times as it takes!" She gasped out.

Vegeta grunted. A blush started to form on his cheeks and he loosed his grip on the woman. "Release me. You can swim on your own."

"No way!" She gripped Vegeta tighter, coughing and breathing erratically. "I lost you once! I am _never_ letting you get away again!"

Well, that was confusing. "Aren't you promised to the weakling?" Vegeta sneered in sudden repulsion. "What motive could you possibly have to…"

"I'm not marrying him!"

Vegeta was shocked into silence. She wasn't going to marry the weakling? Was he dead? Perplexed, he stared at the woman in his arms. "Aren't you out here to find my kingdom?"

"No!" Bulma finally caught her breath. "We didn't even know you were a mermaid…"

"Mer _man_!"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, mer _man_ , until a few days ago. We're not here to find Atlantis! We're out here to find _you_!" She stared hard into his eyes. "You left before I could tell you! I'm not in love with Yamucha. I'm in love with you!" She looked away shyly as Vegeta's face went blank with surprise. "And I was hoping that we could, you know, give a relationship a try."

The prince was at a loss for words.

They floated in silence for a moment as Vegeta took all this in. It was kind of hard to believe. He was totally ready to live his life without her and here she was asking to be a part of it? It was more than he ever could've hoped for. But still, a human woman in love with a merman? That would never work. Who was he trying to kid? His dark gaze captured Bulma's and he sighed.

"I can't."

"What do you mean?"

He chuckled mirthlessly and held her at arm's length. "Look at me. I am a merman. You are human. We are too different."

She shook her head. "I don't care. I still want to try."

He sighed, pulling her close to rest his forehead against hers. "Stubborn woman." Of course she wouldn't care that they were fundamentally two different species. Vegeta kept trying to come up with a solution to that problem, but every solution he found ended with parting. Even though they couldn't be together, perhaps they could come to an alliance of some sort. _Only if father decides to ever let me go back._ He thought bitterly. It would never happen. The king would never, ever knowingly allow his son to live with humans.

The minutes passed slowly, floating in the gentle waves as they held each other. Neither wanted to let go.

"Prince Vegeta!"

Vegeta stiffened as the voice rang out from behind the pair.

Bulma looked at him wide eyed. "You're a prince?"

"Shut _up_ woman!" He hissed. He turned slowly, pulling Bulma closer to him. There before him floated the one merman he knew he'd have to face. Time for the conversation he really wanted to avoid.

"My King." He bowed slightly as protocol dictated. Bulma's eyes went wide and she gripped Vegeta tighter.

King Vegeta sneered down his nose in open distain. "I have spoken to you before about venturing to the surface world have I not?"

Vegeta scowled at the waves. "Yes _Father_." He said in a biting tone.

"Apparently you do not hold my threats as anything more than empty words." The king's voice was dangerously low and angry. "It was _not_ to be done. Then I find that you have not only broken my decree once by going to the surface world without my knowledge," Vegeta flinched at this, "but now refuse to sink a ship because of a _human_? Was I not clear enough when I said I would banish you should you ever disobey that decree?"

A gentle squeeze around his shoulders made him look to the woman in his arms. He stared deep into her blue eyes and felt his ire soften. She loved him. She wanted a relationship. He steeled his resolve and glared back at the king.

"I made a deal with the traitor Frieza to go learn about humans. You may think that our civilization thrives beneath the ocean, but there is nothing new for us. In the three days I was on land, I learned many things that you couldn't even begin to imagine."

"You made a deal with the _traitor_ to go live with _humans_!" He gestured to Bulma with the dangerous looking trident he held in his hand. Bulma shrank back against Vegeta fearfully.

"I did it in order to save our people!" His gruff voice carried a note of warning to it. He lifted his eyes challengingly to the king. "You cannot tell me that we do not suffer as a people from our ignorance! The knowledge we lack could save us and our home from those who would see it destroyed! I was not going to turn down the opportunity! It would've been foolish not to!"

"That was not your only reason, was it not?!"

He paused. "No." Vegeta looked at Bulma. His eyes filled with such tenderness that it sent pangs through her heart. "It was not." Bulma hugged him tighter, resting her head on his shoulder.

The king paused. His thoughtful look disappeared almost instantly as he returned to shouting at his son. "Your rebellion against my authority nearly killed you!"

"Even so," Vegeta looked back up at the king, "I do not regret my choice. I only regret that I was too weak to stop the traitor before he nearly destroyed us." Sorrow colored his voice slightly. "If you mean to banish me, fine. I deserve nothing less for what I have done to the crown."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes." He raised his chin proudly. "I accept my punishment honorably. Even to the end of my days as foam across the tide."

King Vegeta smirked. "That's what I thought." He lowered his trident and stabbed out at the couple floating across from him. His ki burst out in a beam of light that shot straight for Vegeta and Bulma.

Without hesitation, Vegeta thrust Bulma away from him. She floundered briefly in the water, helpless to stop the beam of light from striking Vegeta dead in the chest. She watched him go limp and cried out in alarm. A strong pair of arms caught her from behind just as she started to swim towards him. She struggled crazily against the grip.

"Woah! Easy there miss Bulma!" A familiar spiky headed merman entered her vision. He grinned in a carefree way. "Don't worry. Vegeta will be just fine."

"But-a-wha-he just shot him!" Bulma protested, squirming to get away from the merman.

"Well… I guess he sorta did…" The merman scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "But it was for his own good you know."

"His own good?!" Bulma thrashed about, foaming the seawater around her. "Are you crazy?!"

"Just calm down a second okay?" The big merman held her arms still. "Look! He's fine!"

King Vegeta had lifted his unconscious son into his arms and was swimming towards the boat that was coming back for Bulma.

"He doesn't LOOK fine!" Bulma argued.

"Well he _is_ fine." The merman protested, pulling her along as he swam after the king. "Just you wait and see."

When they got to the ship, Bulma shouted up at her father to kill the engines. The boat stopped and Bulma pulled herself from the water. Her father disregarded her soaking wet state of being and gathered her into a massive hug.

"Bulma! Are you alright?"

"Yeah dad, I'm fine." She pulled out of his grip. She turned to see the king lift himself up on a huge swell of water. Vegeta lay unconscious in his arms. Beside him, the burly merman smiled cheerfully.

"Human woman."

Bulma gulped slightly as the king addressed her. The king of all merfolk was a bit scary. She neared him and bowed slightly. "K-king Triton?"

The big merman beside him laughed aloud. The king shot him an irritated glance. "No. King Vegeta, if you please."

"O-oh."

"Tell me, is what I've been told true? Even after so short a time, have you truly fallen in love with my son?"

Bulma looked first at the king, then to the prince in his arms. She reached out and tenderly caressed his face.

"Yes."

The king's eyes narrowed. "Are you willing to care for him? To spend your life with him?"

She looked back into those dark eyes and nodded. "Yes."

"I see." He turned from her. "Go back to the island from which you departed." The king said. "We will meet you there." Then the water lowered back to the sea and they were lost from sight.

 ***Hours later***

Vegeta groaned and cracked his eyes open. Bright sunlight nearly blinded him. _What happened?_

Oh yes. His father shot him with his trident.

 _Where am I?_ He lifted a hand to shade his eyes and took stock of his surroundings. He was on a rock not too far from the island where Bulma lived. He turned and was face to face with his father and best friend. His father looked stern, but Goku was grinning with the 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' grin.

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. Goku grinning like that was never a good sign. What did his father hit him with anyway? He'd never felt ki like that before. "What did you do to me?"

"Prince Vegeta!" The king's voice rang out, completely ignoring his son's question. "You are hereby appointed ambassador to the human race."

Vegeta stared at his father blankly.

"You are to learn about humanity and life above our domain as to further improve on our own way of life." The king continued. "Furthermore you are expected to make a monthly report about your goings on. You will also be called upon to defend our waters like normal, but under the condition that you must return to the surface world after saving our people."

 _What?_ Vegeta gaped at his father. _He can't possibly be suggesting I be banished to the human world._

King Vegeta smiled at the absolute confusion that was his son. "This is your only chance to refuse, so make your choice wisely."

Vegeta looked so lost. Goku burst out laughing. Even the king let loose a chuckle. Seeing the normally arrogant prince this out of whack was a treat. His father pointed down and Vegeta dropped his eyes. He let out a gasp of surprise.

He had human legs.

"How?!"

"I'm the king." His father said matter-of-factly. "I can do anything I want."

Vegeta's jaw dropped. The king had the power to give him human legs _and_ was giving him permission to explore the human world? What kind of topsy-turvy world had he awoken to? This was crazy! This couldn't be right! Dubious, he looked to Goku for confirmation. The big merman grinned even wider and nodded.

"Why?!" He demanded, grasping for sense in this sudden senseless world.

"Cuz you love her Vegeta!" Goku all but sang. The king reached over and bopped him on the head, silencing him.

"You were never happy under the sea." The King looked solemnly at his son. "The more I tried to keep you down there, the more you rebelled and the more you hated me." He averted his eyes shamefully. "You are my only son. Your happiness is my happiness. Your future is my future. Even if it is above the waves among humans."

Vegeta was caught flat footed. His father actually approved of a human? And was letting him go to be with her?! How in the world was he supposed to respond to that?!

"I-I…" He stuttered. Movement on the shore caught his eye. A woman with flowing blue hair ran towards the water. She looked out across the ocean and waved frantically.

A blush flamed its way over his face. There was no real way to express the myriad of emotions he felt in that moment. He was happy, joyful, grateful, excited, eager, nervous, thankful, and flustered all at once. He figured there was no way to express his gratitude that didn't involve making a fool of himself. After all, he was a prince! There was an image to uphold. However, as hard as he tried not to show his joy, a genuine smile slowly overtook his confused scowl.

Vegeta scrambled to his feet. He met the king's eyes and bowed gracefully, almost touching the rock he stood upon with his forehead.

"My king, it is my honor and privilege to accept this appointment. May it bring prosperity to your reign evermore."

King Vegeta looked tenderly at his son. "You've chosen a fine mate." He clapped a hand on his son's shoulder as he straightened. "I shall miss you, Vegeta."

Vegeta nodded stiffly, though not unkindly. He was more touched than he was wont to admit. He gripped the king's own shoulder and brought him in for a fierce, slightly awkward hug that neither Vegeta knew how to take properly.

He released his father before turning and diving gracefully into the water. He broke the surface and swam powerfully to shore. Bulma rushed out into the water to meet him. They met in the surf. He lifted her free of the water and held her tightly. She gripped him just as ferociously. They embraced in the midst of the crashing waves. They were almost knocked sideways by the force of the waves. Bulma laughed with wild abandon, eager to be with this man. Vegeta grinned madly, absolutely enthralled with the woman in his arms. They pulled away slightly and smiled at each other. Neither regretting their choice.

And then he kissed the girl. And she kissed him back.

 ***Back on the rock***

"Well, that's a happy ending." Goku grinned. After a moment of watching the happy pair, he sighed. "I'm gonna miss him. Who's gonna keep him out of trouble now?"

King Vegeta quirked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" He gave the confused merman a mischievous smile and pointed his trident in his direction. "You're going with him."

Goku let out a surprised squawk as the same ki that changed Vegeta's tail into legs, hit Goku square in the chest. The big merman toppled back into the water. Conscious, but flailing as he tried to swim without knowing how to use his new legs.

King Vegeta laughed aloud and sent Goku to the shore on a wave of water. The king watched him float towards the couple on the beach, grinning to himself before returning back into the sea. He had to prepare for the changes his son would make when he returned. More specifically, for the mate his son would return with.

Vegeta caught sight of the black mop of hair floating towards them and broke the kiss. He groaned. "You've got to be kidding me."

Bulma looked behind her and giggled at the former merman floating in the surf. "Looks like we've got a friend." Vegeta growled low in his throat and Bulma rolled her eyes. "Aww, c'mon Vegeta. It can't be all that bad, can it?"

"You have no idea." Vegeta muttered. He sighed and nudged Goku with his foot. "Kakkarot, what are you doing here?"

Goku sheepishly smiled up at his best friend. "I'm supposed to be your bodyguard. Can't leave the palace without me I guess." He lifted his bare leg and wiggled the toes. "Little help?"

Vegeta groaned and hauled Goku to his feet. Bulma averted her eyes with a squeak. "What is it with you mermen and showing up naked?"

"No idea what that means!" Goku said cheerily.

"Of course you don't." Bulma smacked herself in the forehead. "Kakkarot, is it?"

"Call me Goku."

"Right. Goku. C'mon inside. Let's get you two cleaned up." She started back to the house.

"I can't believe you followed me." Vegeta grumbled as he helped Goku find his footing.

"Well you know, I couldn't just let you go off and have an adventure without me." Goku said cheekily. Vegeta scowled and dropped him. Unused to human legs, Goku fell to the sand with a yelp.

Bulma turned and chuckled as the two started fighting. They were best friends alright. A sly smile spread over her face as she studied them. Speaking of friends…

"You know Goku, I have this friend you ought to meet."

Goku looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Her name's Chichi."

 **THE END**


	5. Cinderella

**Cinderella**  
Based on the French fairytale (and Disney) and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Goku, Chichi, Raditz, Turles, Mercenary Tao (before the robot parts), Ox King, Piccolo, Krillin,

 _ **A funny-ish, romantic Goku/Chichi fic**_ because I can't think of anything funnier right now than Piccolo being a fairy.

 **A/N:** You know, Goku and Chichi and the Ox king could be swapped for Gohan and Videl and Hercule in this story. It'd be practically the same thing. _  
Requested by H.R. Animate. Hope you like it!

* * *

 _Once upon a time there was a beautiful woman and her only son. They lived in a mansion in a faraway kingdom and were very lonesome. They had been bereft of husband and father ever since his death in the Great War. So she decided to re-marry to ease the loneliness and give her son a father figure. Unfortunately she didn't make a very good choice._

 _You see, her second husband was a bad guy. He kept up the illusion of an honorable warrior, but in reality cared little for family and even less for honor. Rude, cruel, and cold, he was a cheater, liar, and all around evil man. Nevertheless, for the sake of his marriage, he treated his new family with respect._

 _In addition, the heartless husband had two sons from a previous marriage that were just as bad as he was. They followed their father in every regard. The woman's son, on the other hand, was as sweet and naïve as a dove in springtime. He was also ridiculously strong and practiced martial arts day in and day out._

 _Unfortunately, some time after the noble woman remarried, she was struck with a grave heart condition and sadly passed away. The youngest son, her blood son, was stricken with grief and for days mourned her passing. His step-father and step-brothers, not so much. If anything, the pretenses of familial love were dropped and their true natures were revealed._

 _Things became harsh for the youngest. His step-father and step-brothers made life absolutely miserable for him. All his belongings were divided between his step-brothers. He had nothing to call his own but the dirty smock he worked in._

 _All the meanest tasks of the house were thrust upon him. They kept him working from dawn till dusk, giving him hardly any time for anything else. When the work was finished, he slept in a tiny attic at the top of the house. They mocked him constantly as being slow witted and filthy. It got to the point where they started calling him Cinderella because he was always so dirty._

 _Naturally he protested this because it was a girl's name, but that just made it stick._

 _Cinderella endured this treatment for years, but it never wore his spirits down. Eventually, when they had grown, Cinderella was very strong. The hard work he was forced to do daily made him even stronger than his older step-brothers. All the other servants admired him. They knew that under the dirt and rags he wore, he was far more than his step-brothers thought he was. Yet, despite his great strength of body and character and true position as a son of the household, he was still treated worse than a slave._

 _Even in the midst of this harsh treatment, Cinderella was still kind and patient with his cruel step-father and step-brothers as ever. He believed that everyone deserved a second chance. Even if that someone was a total jerkbag._

 _One day the mansion was turned on its head as the eldest son rushed home bearing exciting news._

"Father! Raditz!" Turles burst through the front door, shouting wildly. "I have exciting news!" He dashed into the sitting room and smacked the snoozing Raditz upside the head. "Wake up!"

"Awwh!" Raditz sat up, clutching his head. "What was that for?!"

"Shut up and listen!" Turles whirled around. "FATHER! I have news!" He called into the house.

Moments later, Mercenary Tao strolled slowly into the room. His thin mustache twitched in amusement as he watched Raditz cradle his aching head. "And what is the emergency today?"

"There's to be a tournament at the palace!"

Across the room, a pair of ears perked up.

"What?" Raditz rubbed the bump on his noggin. "A tournament?"

"Yes a tournament!" Turles scowled at his brother. "The princess has returned to the kingdom from finishing school! The Ox King is holding a tournament in celebration! Every eligible fighter is to attend." He turned to his father with a smirk. "Rumor has it that the King is looking for a man to marry the princess. How much you wanna bet this tournament has something to do with it?"

Tao put a hand to his chin in thought. "The winner of the tournament would win the Princess's hand in marriage, eh?" A cold smile parted his thin lips as he thought. "What better way to take over the kingdom than that?"

"I know right?"

Tao nodded. "Both of you will compete. It doesn't matter who wins as long as we get a foothold in the monarchy. Those royal morons wouldn't know how to run a proper country even if you beat them with the instruction manual. "

On the other side of the room, dark eyes turned to the conversation. A feather duster stilled it's fluttering as its wielder listened.

"But isn't the whole kingdom participating?" Raditz interjected. "There'll be fighters from everywhere! How are _we_ supposed to make it in the top positions?"

"Easy." Tao smirked at his sons. "We'll just play the game to our advantage."

Raditz hesitated. "You mean cheat?"

Turles rolled his eyes. "Of course he means cheat. Idiot."

"But it's the King's tournament. Won't he…"

"He won't catch you." Tao waved away his younger son's protests. "He's too focused on his daughter to notice anything amiss." He looked to Turles. "When will it start?"

"Tomorrow night is the sign up and preliminaries. The following day is the semi finals, finals and awards ceremony."

"Then we haven't much time to prepare." Tao smirked. He was a conniving man. Plotting to cheat was one of his specialties.

"Uh, excuse me?"

Slightly startled at the interruption, the three turned. A man wearing a worn and dirty smock, complete with frock apron and feather duster stood before them. Dark spikes of hair matted together in knots stuck up from his head willy-nilly. His face was smeared with dirt and he was rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Tao looked down his nose to his step-son. "Yes Goku?"

The young man cleared his throat. "Could I enter the tournament?"

There was a moment of silence. Then the trio burst out laughing.

" _You?_ Enter the King's tournament?" Turles mocked. "Are you kidding? You wouldn't make it past the prelims! Leave the fighting to us."

Raditz made a little shooing motion. "Go back to scrubbing the floors, little _Cinderella_. That's all you're good for!"

Goku stoically ignored his step-brothers. He turned his eyes to his step-father. "Please step-father? May I compete?"

Tao sneered in contempt at his step-son. "No Goku. You may not."

"But I've never fought in a tournament before. Why can't I?"

"There are many reasons. First and foremost, you have too much work to finish. You would never make it in time. Second, there is no way the king would let you into the palace. Just look at yourself!"

Goku looked down. "What's wrong with the way I look?"

His step-brothers guffawed. Tao sighed patronizingly. "You're filthy. No self respecting fighter shows up to the palace like that. Third, you'd have to fight your elder brothers. Clearly an impossible task. You can't expect to win." He smiled condescendingly. "It would be far better if you stayed home."

Goku frowned. "That's not fair."

"Life's not fair." Tao made a dismissive gesture. "Now finish cleaning this room. You still have to chop wood for the fire and prepare dinner before drawing the baths for the boys."

Tao made to leave the room, but Goku darted in front of him, spreading his arms wide. "Wait!"

His step-father scowled in annoyance. "What is it now?"

"If I get all the work done _and_ clean up presentably, would you allow me to compete?"

Tao raised an eyebrow. " _All_ the work?"

Goku nodded furiously. "I'll even help Turles and Raditz to train before they leave. Please step-father?"

Turles glared at his father. "You can't seriously be considering this!"

"Shut up Turles." Tao snapped. He looked at Goku appraisingly. "I suppose _if_ you get all the work done and _if_ you can find something suitable for visiting royalty, you may be allowed to compete."

Goku broke into a wide grin. "Alright!"

"But don't expect to win." Tao chided him as he dashed away to finish cleaning. The cruel step-father turned and left the room, Raditz and Turles following close behind. As soon as they were out of earshot, Raditz asked the question they were all thinking.

"Are you seriously going to let him compete?"

Tao scoffed. "Of course not."

Raditz frowned. "But you said…"

"I said _IF_."

"Oooooh." Turles smirked maliciously. " _IF._ "

 _That day, Cinderella worked harder than he had ever worked before. Scrubbing, polishing, dusting, hauling, chopping, cleaning, tending, and all that stuff. For hours he toiled, working hard into the night until finally, everything that his step-father set before him was finished. Bone weary, Cinderella dragged himself to the attic and instantly fell asleep on his thin pallet._

 _Early the next morning, before the sun rose in the sky, Cinderella got up from his bed and prepared for his brothers' training. He cleaned the back garden, making a spot where they could train. While he waited for his step-brothers to wake, he hurried off to find something presentable to fight in before the king._

Goku crept silently through the halls. Most everyone was asleep at this hour, so hopefully no one would be around to see him find what he was looking for. Nevertheless, he tiptoed forward as silently as he could.

Finally he found the old storage closet. Slowly, for the doors were known to squeak on their hinges, he opened the doors and slipped inside. He made his way to the very back of the closet where he found a very old trunk that belonged to his father.

Goku smiled and lifted the lid. He carefully rummaged through the memories and bric-a-brac till he found a stretch of dark blue fabric. He dug a little deeper and pulled out shorter lengths of red cloth and boots. He reached deeper still and pulled out a long stretch of red shimmery fabric. He grinned in triumph. This was perfect! His mother kept his father's old gi! With a little help, it was sure to be presentable for the king!

With his treasures in hand, he headed back to his room. He was startled when a soft voice came from behind him.

"Goku, what are you doing?"

Goku whirled around. "Krillin!" He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He grinned. "It's a little early for you to be up."

"Well, I figured on getting a head start on the day, what with the tournament this evening and all." The servant Krillin was Goku's best friend ever since he was sent to work in the kitchens. Goku was notoriously bad at cooking and Krillin was assigned to help him. When trouble came, he helped Goku fight off his step-brothers even though it resulted in both of them being punished. They'd been best pals ever since.

Krillin looked to the fabric in Goku's hands. "Whatcha got there?"

"My dad's old gi." Goku looked at Krillin with a beaming smile. "Tao is going to let me fight in the tournament if I get all the work done. I figure this is the best thing to wear in front of a king."

Krillin nodded. "That's a great idea. Though I really doubt Tao is going to let you go. Your step-dad is one nasty guy."

They'd had this conversation before. Tao was his step-father, so what could Goku really do? He just gave his best friend a sheepish grin and shrugged. He promised to see him before the tournament began and headed up to his room. There, armed with what little sewing knowledge he had, Goku set to fixing the gi up as best he could.

After a few hours, Goku heard the little bells his step-father had set up for him ringing.

"Aww man." He looked down at the supple material in his hands. He still had a bit of sewing to do. He sighed. Hopefully he'd have time to do it after the day's bout of training and cleaning. The tournament didn't officially begin until sundown, so he had a little more time.

After an hour of helping his brothers to train, which wasn't long by _any_ standard in his opinion, Goku rushed about to get the house in pristine condition. With his speed and strength, it didn't take too long. Soon, he was back in the attic, hard at work on his father's gi.

It was an hour before sunset when he finally finished. He looked over his handiwork and nodded, pleased with his efforts. Grinning, he tossed the gi onto his straw pallet and rushed outside to the brook to clean himself up. He wasn't allowed to use the bathrooms in the manor. Just another one of the ways his step-father tried to beat his spirits down. But Goku didn't mind. He loved the outdoors.

Finally, skin clean and hair untangled, he raced back to his room to get ready for the tournament. He pulled his father's gi on, marveling at the quality of the fabric and the fact that it fit him perfectly. He fingered the royal blue cloth and smiled softly. His mother always said that he looked just like his father. He took the red bracers and pulled them on his forearms. A red sash went around his waist and a similar one went around his forehead. The iridescent fabric glittered with a rich golden shimmer in the fading light. He slipped his feet into the boots and grinned when he found them super comfortable and well broken in.

Fully dressed and in high spirits, he trotted down the stairs. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the hall mirrors and his grin widened. There was no way his step-father could turn him down now!

 _The step-brothers had donned their finest clothes for the tournament. Hoping to catch the eye of the princess. But as they saw Cinderella trotting towards them in his father's battle finery, jealousy began eating away at their hearts. Even his step-father sneered in distain for the way his step-son upheld his end of the bargain. They were dead set on keeping Cinderella from attending the tournament._

"Well well. Look who cleans up nice." Raditz said as Goku trotted up to the trio. "Not bad Cindy."

Goku grimaced. "I told you to quit calling me that."

"Whatever, _Cinderella_. A turd covered in gold is still a turd." Turles scoffed.

"Now boys. Do _try_ to be civil." Mercenary Tao said. "Remember, we are going to visit royalty to eventually become royalty." He laid haughty eyes on his step-son. "Goku, have you finished all the chores?"

"Yes step-father." Goku beamed at his step-dad. "I got it all done!"

"I see." Tao reached out and felt the gi Goku was wearing. "And where did you get this fine gi?"

"It used to be my dad's."

"A marvelous gi. Really fine quality." Tao gave Goku a mock pitying look. "It's such a shame that there's a hole in it."

Goku looked at his step-father, bewildered. "A hole? Where?"

"Right here." Tao poked his finger suddenly into Goku's side, tearing a hole clean through the fabric.

"Hey!" Goku stumbled back, away from Tao. "What are you doing?!"

Turles snickered, catching on. "Oh no Cinderella! There's another hole in your gi!" He phased behind Goku and ripped the short sleeve off his gi top.

"Cut it out!"

Raditz snickered. "Oh! There's one on his other side too!"

"You mean this one?" Turles smirked and ripped a gaping hole in the other side of the gi.

"Stop it!" Goku shoved Turles away.

"No, YOU stop!" Turles retaliated with a kick. Goku blocked it. Sneering, Turles kicked Goku hard again, sending him reeling back into Raditz who caught him in a hold from behind. Turles proceeded to rain hurt down on Goku, tearing his gi further in the process.

"No! Stop it Turles!" He struggled against his step-brothers. "Let me _go_ Raditz!"

But Raditz only laughed and held tighter. They knew Goku wouldn't fight them. It was something they used against him time and time again. His mother made him swear to never fight with his brothers before she died.

Gok's gi was in tatters when suddenly a blur knocked into Turles, sending him sprawling. Goku was surprised to see Krillin get to his feet and shout at the fallen man.

"You leave Goku alone!"

Turles was up in a flash. Goku watched, horrified as he laid Krillin out flat with a single blow. The eldest step-brother stormed over and viciously kicked the short man in the ribs. "Stay out of this you filthy servant."

Krillin struggled to stand, but was laid low once again as another blow landed on his ribcage.

"NO!" Goku broke free of Raditz and dashed over to Krillin. "Leave Krillin alone!"

"Stop!"

Goku froze as Mercenary Tao barked the order. He turned to see a cruel smile on the face of his step-father.

"The servant has interfered. He must learn his lesson." Tao nodded to Turles and Raditz. Together they started beating on Krillin mercilessly.

"STOP IT!" Goku bulldozed into his step-brothers, knocking them away. He faced them down, baring his teeth. "I won't let you hurt him anymore!"

"Why you little…!" Raditz and Turles rushed their step-brother. He didn't dodge them. Nor did he shy away from the blows as they came hard and heavy. He stood steadfast in front of Krillin, keeping their ire directed away from the short man. Blood dripped from a cut on his forehead. His lip split and blood ran down his chin. Things in his vision were starting to look funny, but still he didn't move from protecting his friend.

"ENOUGH!" At the shout, all movement ceased. Tao walked forward. He glared coldly at the boys. "That is quite enough. We are running late for the tournament." The two younger men glared balefully at Goku before straightening their clothes and walking towards the door.

Tao looked scornfully at his injured step-son. "I see that you are in no shape to accompany us to the king's tournament. We will be leaving without you." Tao looked down at the prone form of Krillin. "Clean this up before we get back."

And without another word, he left.

 _Cinderella was incensed. So angry was he at the mistreatment of his friend that he could barely get him to hospital. On his way back to the mansion, anger slowly gave way to grief. He was beaten, his best friend was in hospital, and his gi, his father's gi, was ruined beyond repair. He couldn't go to the tournament. Worse, he was stuck under his step-father's thumb. He promised his mother not to fight with his family. There was nothing he could do._

 _His normally bright spirit heavy with despair, he trudged into the garden. He slumped down on a bench near the vegetable patch and rested his head in his hands. Things seemed hopeless._

 _Of course, it is only when things seem the most hopeless that hope reappears._

A deep voice broke the silence. "What's the matter Goku?"

Goku sighed. "Nothing."

"Oh?"

"Well… my stepfather won't let me go to the tournament." Goku shook his head. "Even worse, they beat Krillin really bad. I promised mom that I wouldn't fight with them but… but I don't want…" The dark eyed man heaved a shuddering sigh. He was starting to choke up with emotion. "It's not right and I can't…" He stopped, not trusting himself to speak lest he break down into tears.

"Pull yourself together Goku."

Goku sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "But what am I supposed to do?"

"Go to the tournament anyway. Fight your step-brothers and defeat them in combat."

"Really?" Goku looked up. His eyes went wide and he reared back. He fell backwards off the bench with a squawk of surprise.

Before him stood a tall green man. A white cape billowed behind him, matching the white turban perched on his head. The purple gi he wore nearly glowed with the power he had.

"Who're you?" Goku got up from falling off the bench.

"My name is Piccolo." The tall green man said. "And I'm your…" He looked uncomfortable and let his voice trail off into mumbles.

"What?"

"I said I'm your… ... ... ... _fairy godmother_."

"You're my fairy what now?"

"Doesn't matter!" Piccolo said, blushing a slight purple. "I am here to help you. Kami saw your awful plight and sent me to give you a chance to go to this tournament."

"Wow! Really?" Goku practically glowed with excitement. It was a complete turnaround from his previous mood. "Thank you fairy friend!"

Piccolo bristled. "Not a fairy!"

"But you just said…"

"Look, do you want to go to this stupid thing or not?" Piccolo growled.

Goku nodded furiously. Then he looked up at the taller man questioningly. "But how am I supposed to get there? The palace is miles away and while I could run, I wouldn't get there in time for the sign up."

Piccolo smirked knowingly. He turned his eyes to the sky and gave a great shout.

"FLYING NIMBUS!"

Not two seconds later, a fluffy golden cloud sped down from the heavens and screeched to a stop in front of the pair.

"Woah." Goku's eyes went wide. "What is that?"

"This is the flying nimbus." Piccolo said. "If you are pure of heart, you may ride it to the tournament."

He watched as Goku leapt onto the cloud and laughed with excitement. "This is so cool!" He exclaimed. "Thank you so much!" He was about to shoot off into the sky with the cloud when his fairy god-friend grabbed his shoulder.

"Not so fast. You're forgetting something."

"Forgetting something?"

"Yes."

There was an awkward pause. Then Goku looked down at what he was wearing and sighed. "Oh. Yeah. I guess I can't go looking like this."

"Indeed." He pointed two fingers at Goku and shouted. "CLOTHES BEAM!"

Instantly, the torn and ruined gi he wore was replaced by new fighting gear. Dark blue body suit underneath, bright orange gi overtop, blue wristbands, blue belt, blue boots, Goku was the perfect image of a fighter.

Goku looked down at himself in awe. "Wow. Even my injuries are gone." He looked up at Piccolo. "It's like a dream."

"And like a dream it'll end." Piccolo looked gravely into the shorter man's eyes. "You must return here before midnight. On the stroke of twelve, my spell will be broken and you will return to the way you were before."

The young saiyan nodded. "I understand. I'll be back before midnight." He grinned joyfully at Piccolo. "Thank you fairy friend Piccolo."

As he flew away, he heard Piccolo call out angrily behind him. "I'M NOT A FAIRY!"

 _So Cinderella flew as fast as he could to the palace for the tournament. As he drew nearer, the bright lights and festivities were made all the more clearer. It seemed as though the whole world had attended the event. The closer he got, the more excited he became. He was going to be able to fight against other martial artists? It was almost too much to bear._

 _At last he arrived at the sign up booth. He was oblivious to the gasps around him as he dropped in effortlessly from the sky._

"Hi there!" He cheerfully greeted the people gawking at him from behind the desk. "I'd like to fight in the tournament please!"

"Wh-wh-what?"

"The tournament." He tilted his head at the official. "I'd like to enter."

"O-oh! Right!" The official blushed in embarrassment. The man was handsome, well dressed, and polite. And he rode a cloud to get here? It was so opposite of the norm that it threw him for a loop. "What's your name?"

"Son Goku."

"Son what?"

"Son Goku."

"Don Wuku?"

"No, Son _Goku_."

"Mr. Anonymous it is!" The official slapped an anonymous fighter sticker on the board for the preliminaries. "You'll be number 14 fighting in block D. Please head to the building on your left."

Goku walked away from the booth and sighed. Forget about the name. At least he was fighting in the tournament now. He lifted his head and sniffed the air. Something delicious was wafting towards his sensitive nose. His stomach rumbled and he grinned. Time for a pre-fight snack.

 _Meanwhile, on a raised platform overlooking the festivities, the Ox princess and her father sat watching the fighters. Had they been watching the sky, they would've seen the mysterious youth fly in on a cloud, but neither saw the wondrous sight. Both were too busy being unimpressed._

Chichi and her father watched the fights from the royal viewing platform. There were hundreds of fighters. All of which instantly puffed themselves up to look good for the princess. Chichi rolled her eyes. Prideful meatheads, the lot of them. All of them preening prouder than peacocks decked with as much finery as they could get away with in the ring.

"Why couldn't we have had a ball instead?" Princess Chichi complained. "I could've been waltzing at a fancy party right now."

"Chichi, you know you love martial arts as much as I do." The Ox king tried reasoning with his daughter. "I don't understand what the problem is."

"Don't try that with me mister." She shot him a dirty look. "I know you just want to marry me off."

The Ox king sighed. "I never hid my desires from you Chichi. You know I've always wished for your happiness." He looked out over the crowd of people preparing for the tournament. "I'm getting older Chichi. I want to see you married and happy before I get too old to play with my grandchildren."

"Yeah well, I'm not going to fall in love just like that." Chichi reached over bopped him on the arm. "You aren't even old yet! I bet you'd be down there in a heartbeat to fight too!"

The Ox king chuckled. "I admit that seeing all these young fighters makes me with I was just as young and robust." He leaned over to look his daughter in the eye. "Please Chichi? Give it a chance? If you don't see someone you like, we'll just give the winner a cash prize and all go home happy."

Chichi met her father's eyes and sighed. "Okay Dad. I'll give it a chance."

"Wonderful!" The Ox king beamed at his daughter. "I can hear the wedding bells now!"

The dark haired princess rolled her eyes, smiling gently. Her father could be such a romantic. Well, so could she, but that was beside the point. She really didn't think some karate bum would be proper husband material.

Chichi watched in utter boredom as another fighter was knocked out of the ring. Her gaze wandered along the blocks, suddenly stopping at block D. A lone fighter in bright orange caught her eye. He bounced with barely contained excitement as he waited for his turn. He wasn't covered in pricey ornaments, nor was he boasting to impress her like the other fighters. Instead, he stretched and warmed his body up in clear anticipation of the fight.

Chichi nudged her father. "Dad, what do you think of that orange fighter in block D?"

Ox looked over at her, surprised. "Someone has caught your eye already?"

" _Daddy_." She elbowed him. "Just tell me what you think."

Together they watched as his number was called. He bounded into the ring, grinning broadly. He bowed to his opponent and got into his stance. The bell rang out and his opponent rushed him. There was a blur of motion.

WHAM.

His opponent's body hit the mat. The young orange warrior pumped his fist in the air. Then he helped his opponent from the mat with a kind smile.

The Ox king whistled. "He's got skill, that's for sure."

Chichi giggled. The fighter was rather cute. "I hope he makes it to the finals."

Ox raised his eyebrows. "Fancy him, do you?"

Chichi blushed. "Well he's not as bad as those other guys."

"Indeed." Ox chuckled. "Why don't you go talk to him?"

Chichi hesitated. Could she just walk up to him and talk? He'd probably get flustered and start bowing and scraping like all the others once he saw her. She watched the young man in orange make his way to the refreshment booths. Better now than never. She slipped quietly from the platform and managed to get to the refreshment booths. Anywhere the princess went, people noticed. So naturally there was a bit of a stir as she made her way to the booth.

She approached the young man and was surprised to see that he was stuffing his face with food. "You know," she said, "you really shouldn't eat in the middle of a competition."

The young man turned to look at her. He swallowed his mouthful of food and grinned. His eyes and his smile sent butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.

"But food gives me energy. I want to be at my best for the next round."

Chichi blushed and giggled. "You didn't have any trouble with that last match."

He shook his head. "Nope. It was easy. But I can't underestimate my opponent. That would give them the edge."

Chichi nodded. "So… why are you fighting? Hoping to win the hand of the princess?"

The young man shook his head. "I'm not here for the princess. I mean, I've never met a princess before and I'd love to meet her, but I'm here to compete." He smiled happily. "It's what I love to do."

This was new. Did he not recognize her? Chichi giggled again. He really was very cute. "I hope you make it to the finals."

"Thanks." He looked at her curiously. "You seem pretty strong. Are you going to compete too?"

"Oh!" Chichi blushed. "I don't think my father would allow it."

"Huh." Goku tilted his head. "I can understand that." He looked from side to side, then leaned in close. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Chichi felt her face burn at his proximity, but nodded.

He cupped a hand to her ear and whispered, "I'm not really supposed to be here. My step-father wasn't going to let me fight in the tournament."

"Really?"

"Yeah." The young man nodded solemnly. "He's not nice to me. But you know what? My fairy friend told me to come anyway."

Chichi looked at him skeptically. "Your fairy friend?" Did she really just pick the crazy one?

"Yup. He gave me the coolest gift to get here too!" He stepped back from Chichi with a smile. He turned to the sky and with a loud voice shouted, "FLYING NIMBUUUUUUUUS!"

Chichi stared at him in shock. Was this guy insane? She let out a squeak as a sudden rush of wind hit her from behind. She spun around to see a fluffy golden cloud floating before her.

"Nimbus!" The young man came around her. "There you are! Where ya been buddy?" The cloud circled him like a puppy would and he laughed. He looked to Chichi and smiled. "My fairy friend Piccolo gave Nimbus to me."

"Wow!" Chichi's eyes sparkled with amazement. Guess he wasn't crazy after all. "He's amazing! You rode him to the palace?"

"Yep!" He said. "Piccolo said that if you're pure of heart you can ride him." Suddenly, he looked up at the clock in the square. He gasped. "Oh no! It's a quarter to midnight! I've got to go!" He hopped up on Nimbus. Chichi watched, amazed again as the cloud held his weight firmly. He turned to her with a slightly panicked look. "It was nice meeting you, but I really have to get going!"

"Wait!" She reached out to him as he lifted into the air on the little golden cloud. "You made it through the preliminaries right? Will you come back tomorrow?"

He smiled and Chichi felt her heart flutter. "I wouldn't miss it for the world!" He said. Then he zipped off into the night, his cloud leaving a golden trail behind him.

 _The princess was absolutely enchanted with the mysterious fighter she'd met on the first day of the tournament. Her father was overjoyed. He had observed them together and was pleased by the young man's conduct. However, he was still a wise king and decided to see how the tournament would progress. See who this young man really was._

 _Meanwhile Cinderella made it back to the mansion before the clock struck midnight. At the final stroke of twelve, the golden cloud returned to the heavens and his magic orange gi faded from his body. The scraps of his father's gi hung listlessly from his frame as before. Minutes later, he heard his step-father and step-brothers returning. Quickly he donned himself in his own servant's clothes. He rolled around in the ashes for good measure, so his step-family would suspect nothing out of the ordinary._

Goku just finished rubbing ash on his face to fake a black eye, when the front door slammed open. He quickly straightened from the fireplace and made like he was sweeping the room. He carefully eavesdropped on their conversation as they stormed across the threshold.

"…and then she laughed! _Laughed_! Like he was funny or something!" Raditz was saying.

Turles sneered. "Did you see what he was wearing? Bright orange!" Goku flinched. "Who wears bright orange to a fight anyway?"

"Feh." Mercenary Tao scoffed. "He is nothing but an amusement to the princess. Focus on winning the tournament first! That idiot princess can wait until after we've secured victory." He caught Goku's eyes and scowled. "What are you looking at, _boy_?!"

Goku met his step-father's eyes unabashedly. "I was just wondering how the fights went."

"Everything went fine." Turles grinned maliciously. "We both made it past the preliminaries."

"We didn't even need to cheat." Raditz added with his own grin. "It was ridiculously easy."

"Now boys, we are going up against the top spots next." Tao said. "We need to re-assess our strategy for the next rounds." He looked at Goku, observing how dirty he was. "Make sure that you prepare the baths. We need my boys in top shape for tomorrow's fights." Snootily, he and his sons left for their rooms.

Goku was relieved. They didn't recognize him. That was good. He'd probably be in serious trouble when they found out. But he didn't care about that. He closed his eyes and leaned against the broom. It was so much fun. And he was going to go again tomorrow. What could be any better than that?

Goku smiled to himself, seeing the girl he'd met in his mind's eye. He wondered if he'd see her again. He could tell she was a fighter. She was really pretty too. Hopefully her father would change his mind and let her compete. She'd probably do really well.

A harsh shout brought him out of his revelry and into reality. Goku sighed heavily and moved to prepare the baths. Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.

 _The night passed all too slowly for Cinderella. He found himself grinning absently at the ceiling, imagining the fights and tactics that the other fighters would have. Then he thought of the girl and was lulled finally to sleep by her sweet smile._

 _The next morning, Cinderella awoke to the demands of his step-brothers. He was rushed about, doing all the chores as fast as he could. Finally, his step-family left for the tournament. He heaved a great sigh and rushed out to the garden._

"Piccolo!" Goku called out. "Fairy friend Piccolo!"

"I told you, I'm NOT a fairy!"

Goku whirled around. He grinned brightly at the tall green man. "Piccolo! There you are!" He dashed up to him. "I need your help. I made it through the preliminaries, but today is the day for the finals. Please, can you help me out again tonight?"

Piccolo scowled at him. "Only if you swear never to call me a fairy again." The young man nodded. "Alright. Remember Goku, you can't stay out past midnight. You cut it close last time."

"I know, but I made it back in time didn't I?"

"Yes. You did." Piccolo zapped him with his patented clothes beam and once more Goku was clothed in a brilliant orange. The dirt covering him and the tiredness he felt was washed away instantly. He looked even better than he did the first time. Piccolo lowered his hand. "This is the last time I can help you Goku."

Goku looked up at him in gratitude. "Thank you Piccolo. You've made my dream come true."

"You're welcome." Piccolo smiled. He snapped his fingers and Nimbus came spiraling out of the sky, stopping in front of them. "Now go show them what you're made of."

 _Once more, Cinderella flew out to the palace to participate in the tournament. This time, the princess was fervently scanning the skies to see the young man riding on the golden cloud. When she perceived him flying through the air, she ran out to meet him, nearly bubbling over with happiness. The princess had been so distressed over not knowing the name of this mysterious youth. To see him again brought her such levels of happiness she didn't know she could feel. The Ox king watched all this with an air of amusement, thinking she'd found a proper suitor._

Chichi ran through the crowds, people parting before her and bowing respectfully. She paid them no mind and instead called up at the sky. "Hello up there!"

With a gust of wind, the familiar golden cloud came spiraling down from the sky. Even before it stopped, the familiar young man in orange jumped down. He smiled brightly at her.

"Hello again!"

Chichi beamed at him. "You came back!"

"I said I would, didn't I?" He chuckled. He leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Did you get a chance to talk to your dad about letting you compete?"

"Oh!" She blushed. "I did. He said he'd consider it."

"That's great!" He straightened and looked around. "Well, I guess I'd better head over to the ring. I have to see who I'm fighting first!" He waved to her cheerily before jogging away. "See you around!"

"I'll be cheering for you!" She called after him. He was soon lost to view in the crowd. Chichi sighed dreamily. He was just the most handsome, adorable, thoughtful guy. Though he really didn't recognize her as the princess. She giggled. It just made him cuter.

 _So the tournament progressed. Cinderella did better than anyone could've imagined, progressing straight into the semifinals. His step-brothers didn't do as well._

"Sir, you are under arrest for cheating."

"Curses!" Raditz struggled under the grip of the king's guard. "I was told it was foolproof!"

Tao watched his son get thrown out of the ring with cold detachment. He turned to Turles. "We need to be more careful. That blasted princess caught him out. She is either more astute than I thought or Raditz is a complete idiot."

"Raditz is a complete idiot, but don't worry father." Turles eyed his next opponent with gritted teeth. "I'll make sure this orange fool goes down hard."

Said orange fool stepped into the ring and grinned at Turles openly. Turles clenched his fists and entered the ring to meet him. He was going to enjoy beating down the man who got so cozy with his princess.

The fight began at the ringing of the gong. Turles rushed him, but for some reason couldn't seem to land a solid hit. They danced around each other. Feinting, jabbing, dodging. The skill of this other fighter was astounding. Turles knew he was going to have to rely on fighting dirty.

Outside the ring, Tao watched the fight with increased curiosity. Why did the orange fighter suddenly seem so familiar? Raditz came up beside him and watched the fight.

"Turles is gonna lose." Raditz muttered, amazed. "He keeps trying to fight dirty, but he can't even lay a finger on him!"

"It's like he knows he's trying to cheat." Tao murmured. He put a hand to his chin. "Raditz, does that orange fool seem familiar to you?"

"I don't know." Raditz's eyes tracked the young fighter in orange. "I recognize his fighting style… but I can't place where I've seen it before."

"Hmmmm…" Tao watched the fight suspiciously.

Suddenly, Turles was hit with a surprise kick and flew from the ring. Tao grit his teeth in anger. That boy was really going to get it when they got home. As he went to go retrieve his son, he watched the young man in orange exit the ring. Tao narrowed his eyes at the individual.

Something about him felt too familiar for comfort.

 _Finally, as the moon began rising into the sky, the finals began. Cinderella had made it to the top bracket of the tournament. There was a general commotion as he waited for the event to begin. He wrote it off as the crowd's excitement and eagerly stepped out into the ring to face an opponent he did not anticipate._

Goku's jaw dropped. Facing him down in the ring with a confident smile was the very girl he'd been thinking about the night before.

"It's you!" His face broke into a grin. "Your father finally let you fight? That's great!" He scratched his head in confusion. "But aren't you supposed to start on a lower bracket? This is the finals."

"You're right. It _is_ the finals." She sank into her stance. "And I'm here to fight you."

Goku was surprised. "But that's not how this is supposed to work, right?" He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at the mat. "I know I'm new to this, but still…"

He had no more time to think as the gong rang. He lifted his eyes just in time to see the girl charge him with fists raised. He ducked beneath her blow only to be met with a kick. Smoothly he dodged all her swings and flipped out of range.

"Hold still and let me hit you!" She cried, rushing him again with surprising speed.

"Wait a second!" Goku dodged again. "I can see you're very talented, but you skipped the regular lineup! Who _are_ you?"

"You idiot!" She shouted, getting angry with her lack of hitting him. She swung her fist in a sudden hook. "I'm the princess!"

Goku was so caught off guard that her blow actually landed. He staggered back. "The princess?!"

The girl hissed in pain and clutched her hand to her chest. Hitting him was like hitting a brick wall. She shook out her fist and looked at him with her dark, beautiful eyes. "Yes. The crown princess Chichi."

"Oh wow!" Goku put a hand to his cheek, where her fist struck him. "No kidding!" He grinned at her. "You're really good! I can't believe your father wasn't going to let you fight!"

Chichi sighed. "He wasn't going to let me fight because I'm supposed to be the prize."

"The prize?"

"Yes." Chichi blushed and looked away. "The winner would receive my hand in marriage."

Goku blinked. "The winner would have to marry you?"

"Not have to." She was still blushing. "Only if he wanted to." She looked up at him through her dark eyelashes. "Do you want to?"

Goku looked left. Goku looked right. Goku looked back at Chichi and pointed to himself. She giggled lightly and nodded.

A wide grin stretched across Goku's face. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Wow. I don't know what to say."

Chichi's face fell. "You don't want to?"

Her expression sent pangs through Goku's heart. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. "Sure I do." He walked up close to her with a soft smile. "Chichi, will you marry me?"

Chichi smiled beatifically. "Yes."

There was a loud cheer from the surrounding crowd. Goku laughed aloud and Chichi giggled. She swept forward, catching Goku in a hug. He grinned and hugged her back, lifting her up and swinging her around happily.

He set her down and she looked back up at him, suddenly bashful.

"I'm sorry, I don't even know your name."

The young man grinned. "That's okay. My name is G-"

Goku was interrupted by the loud booming sound of the clock striking the first stroke of midnight.

"It's midnight already?!" He gasped. The clock struck again and he released his grip on Chichi.

Chichi was bewildered. "Yes, it is, but-"

The clock struck a third time and Goku panicked. "I've got to go!" He turned to the sky and shouted. "NIMBUS!"

The look on Chichi's face nearly broke his resolve to leave. "You're leaving? Now?"

The clock struck its fourth tone as the little golden cloud raced down to Goku. "I have to." Goku felt guilt build in his chest.

Chichi's eyes welled up with tears. She reached over and pulled on his arm. "But why? You just asked me to marry you!"

Goku flinched as the clock struck again. "I know, but I have no choice." His sorrowful face filled with pain. "I' m sorry."

Chichi shook her head and gripped him tighter. "No! I won't let you go! I don't even know your name, how would I ever find you again?"

He shrugged off her hand and hopped onto nimbus just as the clock struck for the seventh time. "Goodbye princess."

"Wait!" She caught hold of Nimbus just as he was about to fly off. Surprisingly, the little cloud was jerked back. Goku was flung off at the sudden stop. He landed flat on his face in the ring. He looked back at Chichi in surprise, but the eighth tolling of the clock had him scrambling to his feet.

He ran towards the edge of the ring and gave a mighty leap. He easily cleared the crowd of spectators and landed on the path leading out of the palace. He sprinted for the gates just as the clock tolled for the ninth time. Above its ringing, king's mighty voice bellowed behind him.

"Stop! Wait a moment!" Goku ignored him. "Stop that man! Close the gates!" Goku pumped more speed into his steps. He was still a good ways off from the exit. Suddenly, guards from either side of the lane rushed him. He was hard pressed to dodge their grasping hands and still run.

The clock rang out with the tenth chime. Goku grit his teeth and knocked out some of the guards. "Sorry!" He called behind him as he rushed to the gates. To his increasing panic, the servants there already started closing them. Panting, he watched as the heavy doors got closer and closer together. He ran faster as the eleventh tolling rang through his ears.

In a last ditch effort, he threw himself into a dive and barely made it through the closing doors. He fell to the ground on the other side of the gate, tensing up as the iron portcullis slammed into the dirt behind him. He heard the ruckus coming from the other side of the gate, just where he'd been, and scrambled into the bushes.

Immediately, the clock tolled out midnight. Goku's bright orange gi vanished with a twinkling of stardust. His servant's rags replaced them. The spell was broken. In the moment that followed, the adrenaline flooded out of his body like water from a bucket. He slumped in sudden exhaustion. However, it was short lived as the gates reopened and guards rushed out, searching for the mysterious man who won the princess.

Goku silently crept through the forest. When he was far enough away from the palace he stopped and looked up at the night sky.

"I'm sorry." He said softly to the sky above. "It was so much fun that I… I guess I forgot about everything. Even the time." He smiled up at the stars. "But it was so wonderful. And she was so pretty." He laughed softly. "I didn't even know she was the princess."

He sighed. "I didn't want to leave her like that. Especially after I promised to marry her. But what was I supposed to do? Bet I won't even see her again." There was a pause as he sadly thought about her. Then he gasped. "Oh no! Nimbus!" He whirled around and started back to the palace.

He was nearly there when his footsteps slowed. "Well… Nimbus is a cloud, so he can leave whenever he wants I guess. Plus he's with the princess now." He smiled again. "This way she has something to remember me by. That's not so bad I guess." He looked back up at the twinkling stars. "Thank you Piccolo. Thank you so much for everything."

 _Cinderella made his way back to the mansion. Once home, he went straight to bed, not caring that the trek through the woods left him dirty and hungry. Luckily his step-family was caught up in the kerfuffle that took place in the palace to the point where they didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning. He slept through their return, dreaming of fighting, eating and laughing with the princess._

 _The princess, on the other hand, was so distraught over the young man's sudden disappearance that she neither slept nor ate. All she had of his was the strange golden cloud. It stayed with her even as the night turned into day. She wondered at this, but did not question it for fear that the cloud might leave her bereft of any hope of seeing the young man again._

Chichi lie on her bed in her royal pajamas, snuggled up with the golden cloud. She held it close to her, taking comfort in its fluffy softness.

There was a knock at her door and she hugged the cloud tighter. Slowly, the door opened to reveal the Ox King.

"Chichi honey? How are you doing?" There was a sniffle in response. The Ox king sighed. "Come on Chichi. Cheer up. We'll find him."

"How?" The muffled voice came from the bed. "How will we find him? We don't know where he's from, what he does, or even who he is. He was labeled anonymous in the tournament. We don't even know his name!" Her voice hitched and she stopped talking.

The Ox king's face fell. "I'm sorry honey. I don't know what to do either."

She sobbed quietly. "Why did I have to fall in love with someone I didn't really know?"

"Oh Chichi." Filled with compassion for his daughter, the Ox king walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. "At least you still have this cloud of his. Perhaps he will return for it."

There was a moment of silence.

Suddenly Chichi shot straight up in bed. "That's it!"

The Ox king was startled into motion. He jumped from the bed. "What's it?"

"Nimbus!" She held the cloud at arm's length. "We'll use Nimbus to find him!"

The Ox king was bewildered. "The cloud?"

"Yes the cloud!" Chichi scrubbed the tears from her eyes and grinned with vibrant hope. "He said that only the pure of heart could ride nimbus! I bet that if we go around and use Nimbus as a test, we'll be sure to find him!"

"But what about other people who are pure of heart?"

"That's okay. Apart from children, not a great many people are pure of heart." Chichi reasoned as she released Nimbus. "Plus I'll know him as soon as I see him." She got off the bed and dashed to her desk. She snagged some parchment paper and a quill and started writing a proclamation.

 _And so, a few days after the debacle of the tournament, the royal decree went out. The princess would take for a husband the man that could sit upon the golden cloud. News of the proclamation traveled quickly, as news often does, and soon reached the mansion where Cinderella lived._

"FATHER! FATHER I HAVE NEWS!"

Raditz groaned from his position on the couch. "More news Turles? You seriously can't keep anything to yourself can you?"

"Shut up Raditz!" Turles spat at his brother. "This is more important than your pathetic insults!"

Mercenary Tao strolled into the room. His face was the perfect picture of disdain. "Stop your whining. After your immensely shameful defeat at the hands of that orange fool, you have no room to fight any of your brother's insults."

Raditz snickered as Turles glowered darkly at him. "Whatever."

"Indeed." Tao's lip curled in a cruel sneer. "And what is so important that you had to disrupt the peaceful air of my home?"

"The King is coming!"

Raditz sat up straight. "Say what?"

"The princess issued a proclamation that whoever could ride that golden cloud would be her husband and prince of the realm." Turles said.

Raditz frowned. "I bet they're trying to find that stupid orange fighter. What a bunch of idiots." He scoffed. "Ride a cloud. Puh-leeze."

"Shut up and listen." Mercenary Tao scowled. "This is a perfect opportunity to regain what you two idiots almost lost. That idiot princess is about to give the kingdom to us on a silver platter."

"But a cloud? Are you kidding me?" Raditz continued. He was silenced by a smack to the back of the head.

"It's no doubt a trick of some sort." Tao snapped. "I'll be the one to figure it out since you two have little to no intelligence to call your own." He turned to Turles. "When will they arrive?"

"This afternoon I bet. They've already hit the north side of town. It's only a matter of time before they come this way."

"Then we haven't much time." Tao signaled the boys to get up. "Go and prepare for their arrival."

Raditz and Turles left the room, inadvertently bumping into Goku on the way out.

"Hey! Watch it Cinderella!" Turles snapped at him.

Goku didn't respond. Raditz and Turles swapped a look. That was odd. Usually Goku would shoot them an angry glare or something. Right now he was staring blankly into space.

"Oi! Cindy!" Raditz got in his face. "We're talking to you!"

Instead of addressing Raditz, a slow grin spread across Goku's face. "The princess is coming here?"

That wasn't the response Raditz expected. So he got angry. "Quit ignoring me!" He swung a punch directly at Goku's face.

Goku deftly swayed around the blow and grabbed Raditz's arm. Using the force of his own punch against him, Goku performed a perfect judo throw over his left shoulder. Radtiz was sent flying into the opposite wall with a loud WHAM.

There was a moment of silence. That had never happened before. So stunned were the two step-brothers that they remained motionless as Goku left the room. The spiky headed man was muttering something along the lines of, "better go get ready... she might want to spar".

"Well. Now I know why that orange fool was so familiar." Tao's dry voice had Turles spinning around in.

Turles's jaw dropped. "That was _GOKU_?"

"It would seem so." Tao walked over and unceremoniously hauled Raditz to his feet. "Get up you idiot! Both of you come with me. We need to have a little chat with your step-brother."

 _Soon the time came when the King, the Princess, and their entourage arrived at the mansion._

The herald knocked on the door. Mercenary Tao opened the door with his best pleasing smile on. Unfortunately for the man, it made him looked as though he smelled something stinky. Chichi instantly decided that she disliked the man.

"Your majesties. Welcome to my humble home." Tao bowed out of the way, allowing the royals inside. They were ushered to the sitting room where his two sons greeted them with deep bows.

Chichi whispered to her father under her breath. "Aren't those the guys who cheated? Pretty sure he isn't either of them."

The Ox king grimaced. "Perhaps there are others living here." He tried to encourage her. To Tao he spoke commandingly. "Are these all the eligible men in the house?"

"All of noble blood, your highness." Tao said smoothly. "There are a few servants about, but they surely didn't attend the tournament."

"Nevertheless, we shall see them too."

"All in due time your highness." Tao tried to hide a sneer. It didn't really work. "Perhaps you would allow my sons to try the test first?"

Chichi nodded reluctantly. "Very well." She looked to the cloud floating serenely behind her. "Alright Nimbus. Ready for another go?" Even the little cloud seemed reluctant as it floated towards Turles and Raditz.

Raditz was the first to try. He circled the cloud warily. He reached out to poke the cloud. It sprung back lightly from under his touch. Shrugging, he lifted a leg and slowly got up on the cloud.

It held his weight for all of two seconds before he fell through the cloud like a ton of bricks.

"AUGH!" Raditz yelped. He scrambled to his feet. "Stupid cloud!" He cursed the fluffy golden puff.

Turles laughed at his unfortunate brother. "Sucks to be you!" Without waiting for an invitation, he himself jumped up on the cloud. Surprisingly he seemed to ride comfortably on its surface.

"Ha!" Turles cried triumphantly. "Take that you blue bloods! I beat your stupid test!"

The Ox king blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected either of them to be pure of heart. His face fell as he perceived his daughter's despair. Looks like she had no other choice. Sighing he spoke to her.

"Alright. Call nimbus to you that we may take this young man home."

Chichi felt tears prick her eyes, but she nevertheless beckoned nimbus to her side. The fluffy cloud came to her, but to everyone's surprise Turles stayed in the same place. Hovering in the air like he was still sitting on the cloud.

"What the…" The Ox king unsheathed his great sword and swung it through the air above Turles's head.

The strings holding Turles were cut and he tumbled gracelessly to the floor.

"YOU sir, are a cheat!" He proclaimed.

"A cheater? _My_ son a cheater?" Mercenary Tao exclaimed much too loudly. "I had NO idea! I am so ashamed!"

Chichi glared at him. "Both your sons are cheaters. Neither of them had the honor to fight fairly in the tournament. And from the looks of it, you tried to condone such behavior!"

"Certainly not!" Tao blustered. "I would never…"

"Regardless," the Ox king cut him off mid-protest, "is there not someone else among your staff that may try our test."

Tao had the audacity to smirk at the royals. "No! There is no one! All the servants have gone home for the day! There is no one to…"

"HOLD EVERYTHING!"

Tao's face went white as the company turned to look as one short bald man in a cast and on crutches.

Chichi looked at the small man curiously. "And you are?"

"My name is Krillin, your majesty." Krillin awkwardly bowed to the royals.

"What are you doing here Krillin? Looks like you should still be in hospital."

"I know, but I have to make sure Goku is okay!" He stared hatefully at Tao and Turles. "That jerk and his two sons were the ones who put me in hospital in the first place. Goku protected me and I have to make sure he's not hurt worse than I was!" He looked to the shocked royal pair. "I was unconscious for the Tournament, but as soon as I was able I hightailed it over here to make sure he wasn't almost dead _again_."

"Shut up you filthy slave!" Tao sneered. "There is no such man living…"

"No! I'm not done!" Krillin shouted angrily. "Goku is the rightful heir of this estate and your step-son, but he's treated worse than a servant. I should know! I am one! I put up with all your crap day in and day out because I get paid, but Goku never got an ounce of kindness from you. You are an evil man for treating your own family that way! Well guess what? I QUIT! I quit and am taking Goku to hospital!"

"You are doing no such thing!" Tao raved. "I forbid it! As Goku's step-father I have every right to…"

"So there _is_ another eligible man in this house?" The Ox king scowled at the man. Deigning not to speak to him again, he gestured to his entourage. "Search the house. Find Goku and get him the help he needs." As his servants charged through the house, his personal guard grabbed Mercenary Tao and his sons in strong grips.

"As for you three, I'm sure you know of the rule about one man treating another so terribly." The Ox king's voice grew fearsome. "If this man is beaten as badly as Krillin suggests, I believe your new home will be in my dungeons."

The three men's faces grew red with fury. Though grins stretched their mouths as the servants returned with empty hands.

"There's no one else in the house m'lord."

"What?" Krillin hobbled towards them. "He's not here?" His face crumpled with anxiety. Then he looked up. "Did you check the root cellar? It's beneath the rug in the kitchen."

The servants looked from one to another. "We had not known." They all ran to the kitchen. The rug was whipped away from the small hatch and the door thrown open. The crowd gasped at the prone form lying on the cellar floor.

"Goku!" Krillin cried. Together, the king's servants lifted the poor young man from the dirt. Chichi gasped in compassion for the young man. Blood oozed from cuts all over his body. Bruises turning a number of impressive shades tinted his skin. She was no doctor, but even she could tell that bones had been broken. He groaned with pain and her heart clenched within her.

He looked familiar.

"Kami Goku! Are you alright?" Krillin rushed to Goku's side as they lifted him out of the cellar to lean against the stove.

"K-krillin?" Goku looked up with his one good eye and managed a half smile. "Oh. Hey Krillin." He looked at Krillin's casts and frowned. "How you doin'?"

Krillin let a smile of relief cross his face. "I'm doing just fine. How are you?"

"I've had better days." Goku replied. "I'm really hungry."

"Hungry?" Krillin laughed shakily. "You were in the root cellar! There was food all around you!" He reached out to clasp Goku's hand. "C'mon man. Let's get you to hospital."

"Krillin, You know I don't do hospitals." Goku huffed. He felt horrible, but this wasn't the worst he'd ever had. "I just need to…" He looked around blearily at all the people, tilting his head in confusion. "Wait, we have guests? Why didn't anyone tell me?" His eyes landed on Chichi and the broadest grin lit up his face. "Chichi! You really came!"

The Ox king looked at the young man curiously. "You know the Princess?"

Goku tried getting to his feet. He wobbled a lot, refusing all help from the servants around him, but made it upright. "Yeah. We met at the Tournament." He beamed happily at her. "I finally learned your name in the final round."

Chichi's eyes went wide. "Your name is Goku?"

Goku smiled more gently at her. "Yep."

Chichi put a hand to her mouth as tears filled her eyes. She knew this poor beaten man looked painfully familiar. It was him! How could such a thing happen to the man she loved? It was almost unbearable. She was about to speak when a gust of air whooshed around her from behind.

"Nimbus!" Goku exclaimed happily. He toppled forward and landed full force on the fluffy golden cloud. He hugged the cloud as best he was able. "It's good to see you buddy!"

Nimbus carried him around the room in a joyous circle. Goku laughed, filling the air with a golden sound. Those in the room watched the sight in amazement. The man, hardly able to stand, was being carried around by the mysterious golden cloud.

Krillin's jaw was almost on the floor. "How?!"

Chichi burst into tears and threw herself at Goku. "OH GOKU!" She landed on the cloud and held the beaten man close to her chest. "I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner." She sobbed.

"Aww. Don't cry Chi." Goku sat up as best he could. "It's not your fault."

Chichi wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You're so strong, how did this happen?"

"I promised my mom I wouldn't fight them." Goku said solemnly. "There was nothing I could do." Chichi started crying again and Goku sighed. "Chichi, I understand if you don't want to…"

"Let's get married!"

Krillin was gobsmacked. "WHAT?!"

Goku fumbled over his words. "You still want to? After seeing me like…"

Chichi interrupted him by gripping his face and pulled him in close. She smashed her lips against his without another word. Goku's eyes widened. Krillin's eyes nearly popped out of his head. The Ox King laughed and the servants politely looked away. In the other room, the step-father and step-brothers raged.

Chichi broke the kiss, blushing furiously. Goku stared at her, wide eyed and red faced. Gravity tilted him backward until he fell off nimbus with a loud thud. Chichi gasped and moved to look down at him.

He was grinning at nothing again, mind turned to mush. Eventually, his eyes focused on her face and he said, "Okay."

Suddenly, a commotion from the other room drew everyone's attention. One of the three men had broken from their restraints and was dashing to the kitchen.

Mercenary Tao looked furious as he entered the room, disheveled as he was. He pointed viciously at Chichi."YOU! You've ruined _everything!_! This is all your fault! I'll take you down MYSELF!" Tao hurled himself at the cloud, fists flying. Everyone was too shocked to respond. There was nothing they could do as Tao reached the princess.

Instantly, Goku was there. He threw a punch with his remaining good arm. Tao had no time to dodge, but neither did Goku. The punches hit simultaneously.

Tao was sent flying from Goku's punch to the head. He hit the wall with a loud crack and slumped to the floor, out cold.

Goku, however, crumpled to the floor with a gasp. Tao had hit him right in the broken ribs. A stabbing pain shot through his chest and he struggled for breath.

"GOKU!" The crowd rushed forward to help him as the anguished cry rose from those around him.

"Stop!"

The crowd stopped at the single command. It wasn't spoken very loud, but the word carried power. The people in the room stepped aside to allow a very tall green man to enter.

"Pic-" Goku wheezed. He hadn't the breath to say his name. The world around him was starting to turn dark

Fairy Friend Piccolo knelt down and placed a hand flat on Goku's chest. "Why did you punch your step-father?"

Goku's fading vision snapped to Chichi. He gurgled at her tear filled eyes.

Piccolo grunted. "Good answer." A glow spread out from under Piccolo's hand. Within seconds the glow became a blinding light, making those in the room cover their eyes. Minutes later, when the light had faded, those who removed their hands gasped aloud.

Goku had been healed. Gone were the broken bones, bruises, and blood. The dirt that covered him was gone and his hair shone in the light of the kitchen. He stood before them, clothed in a beautiful robe of royal blue and orange, like that of a king. Chichi had to put a hand to her heart to stop it from pounding through her chest from the rush of emotions.

The young man looked at himself in wonder. He smiled up gratefully at his benefactor. "Thank you fairy godmother."

Piccolo blushed purple and smacked Goku upside the head. "I'M NOT YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER!"

 _In the end, Cinderella and the princess were married. Never had there been a happier occasion at the palace. Together, they lived happily for the rest of their days._

 _As for Cinderella's cruel step-family, they were thrown in the dungeons immediately upon returning to the castle. There was no way the king would let them go after witnessing their terrible treatment of Cinderella. Later before their trial, the three's records were re-assessed. Apparently they had a reputation in the next kingdom over. They were sent away to the kingdom to pay for their crimes, never to be heard from again._

 _And Piccolo? Despite being called a fairy, he stuck around to care for Cinderella's son. Truly he was the best fairy god-mother ever._

 _THE END._


	6. The Snow Queen

**The Snow Queen**  
Heavily based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Chichi, Goku, Grandpa Gohan, Ox King, King Piccolo, Kami, Launch, Baba, Frieza, Yamucha, Tien and Chiaotzu, Krillin, Vegeta, Bulma

 _ **A dramatic Goku/Chichi Fic.**_

 **A/N:** Requested by The Great Karasu, Rinfantasy, and everyone else who was itching for it.

* * *

STORY THE FIRST  
 _The Black Star Ball and the Broken Fragments_

You must pay attention to the beginning of this story, for when we get to the main characters, who are kind a sweet and loveable as they should be, you will understand just how very wicked a certain demon was. Truly he was one of the very worst. He was made when a perfectly normal person split himself up into two people. One of the people was very good and protected the world. The other was very bad and wanted to wreck what the good one protected. He was evil in every sense of the word.

One day, when the evil demon was in a particularly nasty mood, he made a magical crystal ball that would grant a wish, but ruin the person that made the wish. It was deep orange, with a black star in the very center. The black star ball caused him much merriment for not only did it grant a wish at a terrible cost, but it warped the world around it to one of malice, greed, and hate. Those with good intentions who sought to use the ball would find their desires distorted. Beautiful and good things were turned worthless in lieu of the ball's power. Honesty and integrity were discarded for power and wealth.

It pleased the evil demon well for now he could show all his fellows what humans were really like. He carried the black star ball far and wide till at last there was neither a land nor a people who had not seen this cursed gem and been corrupted by it. Eventually, the evil demon wanted to fly high above the world to show it to his good counterpart. He knew that it would corrupt his spirit just like it had corrupted all the humans he cared for. But the higher he flew, the more slippery the ball became. Higher and higher he went and it got to the point where he could scarcely keep a good grip on it. Then, just as he reached the home of his good counterpart, the ball slipped from his hands and fell to earth, shattering into millions of pieces.

The evil demon raged at the loss of his beloved black star ball. However, as the days passed, he became delighted by its destruction. You see, some of the ball fragments were as small as grains of sand. They were blown about by the wind into every country of the world. When one of these tiny atoms flew into a person's eye, it stuck there, unknown. From that moment everything they saw was as though looking through the power of the black star ball. Everything was distorted in their sight. Some people even got a fragment lodged in their hearts. Whenever that happened, their hearts became cold as ice. Some fragments were large enough to be repurposed as windows, mirrors, and even glasses. Woe to the person who could see neither rightly nor justly when looking through them.

At all this, the evil demon king Piccolo laughed. It pleased him to no extent to see the pain and wickedness wrought on mankind. There were still a number of fragments of the black star ball floating about it the air and now you shall hear what happened with two of them.

* * *

SECOND STORY  
 _A Little Saiyan and a Little Princess_

In the country, where there aren't any people for miles but there are fields of wildflowers growing lush in the fields, lived two children. A little boy and a little girl. The little girl's father and the little boy's grandfather had been close friends for years. They were like brothers and lived near each other. Because of this, the two children were extremely close. They were not brother and sister, but loved each other almost as much as if they had been. Even though the little girl was a princess and the little boy a low class saiyan, they were always together, playing in the glen that lay between their houses.

Their names were Goku and Chichi.

In the glen, sweet peas and lilies grew in rows separated by wild cosmos, foxgloves, and gladiola blossoms. The little girl's father had planted beautiful roses there alongside the wildflowers. They reminded him of his late wife. While the roses were the children's favorite flower, they knew they must not pick the roses without help from their parents. They had been pricked far too many times and knew better than to mess with the beautiful flowers. In the winter, they were very sad, for they loved the glen and its natural beauty. True, winter brought its own fun, but they much preferred summer. During the winter they would blow their warm breath on the windows to fog them up and draw faces to smile at each other from across the way. In the summer they'd always run to meet in the warm field of flowers and play, but in the winter it was bundle up, down the steps, out in the snow to play or visit, then come back in before jack frost bites off your toes. Those summer days were what they yearned for in every other season.

One day, in the middle of winter, Goku's grandfather pointed to the snow falling outside the window.

"Look children. The snow looks like white bees swarming."

Chichi laughed. "Bees? That's silly!"

"Do they have a queen bee?" Asked Goku. He knew that real bees had a queen. He knew a lot about animals.

"More like a king bee." Said Grandpa Gohan. "He flies there where the swarm is the thickest. He's the biggest one of them all and never stays on the earth, but flies up to the dark clouds when the snow stops." He smiled at the wide eyed children. "Often at midnight, he flies down to the earth and freezes a fresh layer of ice on all the trees and green things still left, making everything seem like it's covered in sugared icing."

"Sugary icing!" Goku cried happily.

Chichi giggled. "It looks yummy, but it's not really icing."

"Can the Snow King come in here?" Goku asked.

"But he can't!" Chichi protested. "He'll melt if he comes inside."

"Oh yeah." Goku grinned sheepishly. "He'd better stay outside then."

Grandpa Gohan chuckled and told more tales.

One evening after performing his kata, little Goku, only half dressed, climbed up on a chair and drew a face on the fogged window. Through the eyes of the happy face he drew he saw the snow falling. One flake much bigger than the others spiraled down to the front walk. This snowflake grew larger and larger until at last it became the figure of a short, muscular fighter. Despite his lack of height, Goku could tell he was strong and powerful. He looked to be made of ice yet he was alive. His eyes glinted like sharp daggers. There was neither peace nor comfort in their gaze. He looked Goku dead in the eye and grinned, beckoning him out into the snow.

Goku was so surprised that he tumbled back in his chair, knocking the chair and himself over onto the floor. There was a white flash at the window and when he jumped up to look for the mysterious fighter, he was gone. However, on the following day the world looked as if someone had spread a thick layer of frosting over it. But soon the frost melted and the sun shone again. The snow vanished and the flowers pushed through the dirt and summer came again.

"Goku!" Little Chichi greeted at him as they met in the glen. "Look at how beautiful the roses are this summer!"

"Wow!" Goku agreed. "They sure are pretty!"

"Roses are red, violets are blue," Chichi sang, "Goku is sweet, I'm gonna marry him!"

Goku laughed aloud. "That doesn't even rhyme!"

Then they held hands, played among the flowers, looked at the bright sunshine and loved the world. Those were the most splendid of summer days. It was like the happiness would never end and the flowers would never stop blooming.

During that happiness, disaster struck.

"Ah!" Little Goku doubled over, clutching his chest. "It hurts!"

"Goku?!" Chichi rushed over to her friend. "Goku are you okay?!"

"It felt like… something hit me… in the chest…" Goku managed, gasping for breath. Moments later he cried out again. "Ah! My eye!"

Chichi, very worried for her friend, got up to fetch her father for help. Goku pulled her back down.

"No… no it's fine." He said after a moment. He rubbed at his eyes. "It was just some dust. I think I got it out. And my chest doesn't hurt anymore either. I'm fine."

But Goku was not fine. One of the fragments of the black star ball, the one that made all thoughts and desires distorted and wicked, had lodged itself in his eye. Poor little Goku also received a small grain in his heart. The warm, loving part of him quickly turned to a cold lump of ice. He felt no pain, but the fragments were still within him, poisoning his thoughts and desires. Even the purest of hearts was affected when the black star ball was involved.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Sure I'm sure." Goku suddenly looked up at Chichi. He frowned, irritated. "Quit mothering me. I'm not some little kid!"

Chichi was hurt. "O-oh. Sorry."

Goku huffed. "You're such a worrier. There's nothing wrong with me." He looked back at the roses and scowled. "What happened to the roses? They look gross." Chichi gasped as he grabbed a fistful of the thorny blooms and ripped them from the bush. "I can't believe your dad planted them here. It's not like they're going to bring your mom back."

Chichi was shocked. "Goku! What a horrible thing to say!"

"Whatever." Goku reached up with his now bloodied hand and ripped down another bunch of roses. Chichi let out a soft cry at the sight of his blood. Goku shot her and irritated glance before dropping the flowers and running back to his house. Chichi watched him leave, terribly frightened and confused at the sudden change in her beloved friend.

The next day, when she came to Goku's house to visit, Chichi was astonished to find him hard at work, training like his life depended on it.

"Goku? Don't you wanna go out and play?"

Goku looked at her long-sufferingly. "I'll only go out if you want to spar with me. I've got to get stronger so I can compete in the tournament."

So Chichi begrudgingly went to spar with him. In the beginning their fights were evenly matched. However, Goku's fighting style became more vicious. Soon he was easily overpowering Chichi at every turn. Soon he would turn down her offers to play and instead seek out other boys to spar with him. Those who happened to watch these spars remarked at how strong he was getting. 'That boy will be a great warrior someday' they would say or 'look at how he targets their weaknesses so easily' and 'he shows no mercy'. But it was the grain of the black star ball in his eye and the coldness in his heart that made him act like this. He was even ruthless to little Chichi who loved him with all her heart.

One winter's day while Chichi was building a snowman, Goku, similarly bundled in snow clothes, came up to her with a grin.

"Winter is the best time for training!" He said, smiling in a strange way. "It trains your body to deal with intense temperature changes."

Chichi nodded. "That's neat, but don't you want to play in the snow with me?" She asked hopefully. "We could have a snowball fight… and then go in for hot chocolate and marshmallows?"

Goku looked torn for a moment. Then he shook his head. "I don't have time to play games today. I'll see you some other time."

He turned to leave, ignoring the look of dismay on Chichi's face. They never played together like they used to anymore. And since when did Goku ever turn down a snack? He'd changed. It was always 'gotta train' or 'I don't have time for silly kid games'. It wasn't any fault of Chichi's, but she always felt as though she were lacking something. That Goku didn't like her anymore. It really hurt her.

Goku made his way through the snow to the little town. They lived far enough away from it that regular trips were hard to make. Today though, the snow in the air, the chill winds at his back, Goku found it to be perfect training conditions. So he decided to make the trip alone. He didn't tell anyone about his plans except Chichi, and even then he felt oddly disdainful of that fact. As he walked, he went through a version of his kata he'd been trying to perfect. As he trained, he failed to notice the snowfall becoming harder and harder. Soon he was slogging his way through snowdrifts that came up to his chest. He fought his way through them, but found he couldn't see the road.

Lost in the snow, he started to panic. Goku yelled loudly, trying to call for help, but in the intense snow, every sound was drowned out by the howling of the wind. His teeth chattered. Despite his heavy coat and gloves, the chill winter snow cut straight to his skin. He tried to recall a prayer to Kami, the good counterpart high above the earth, but all he could think of was fighting tactics.

Suddenly a voice rang out high above the wind.

"You have done well to come so far. Why do you stop now? Are you really so weak as to be defeated by snow?"

Goku grit his teeth against the cold. "I'm not weak!" He called out in reply.

He was astounded as a figure appeared before him. He was tall, but not overly so. To Goku, he appeared grand. Radiating power, swathed in white and purple, he could tell that this person was strong. It was in fact, the same person who appeared to him outside the window last winter.

"Come. Challenge me." The snow king said, smiling and showing sharp blindingly white teeth. "Taste my power."

Goku grinned back at the being, springing forth despite his cold numbed body. He had barely gotten within range when a fist whipped out and caught the side of his face. He was thrown back into the snow drift.

"Are you still cold, little warrior?"

Goku was exceedingly cold. So cold he felt he was going to die. But it only lasted a moment, for as he pulled himself out of the snowdrift, he felt nothing and seemed quite glad to be facing this mighty opponent. He no longer noticed the cold around him.

He looked around, seeing that the snow was lightening. He thought that he should go and tell Chichi of this amazing fighter. She would be amazed to know he'd met the snow king.

Suddenly another blow came from the snow king. It caught Goku square in the stomach. "Don't let yourself be distracted." He admonished.

Goku nodded. "I'll remember." He said firmly, all thoughts of Chichi and home forgotten.

"Come. No more of this play-fighting." The snow king said. "Let us return to my palace. There, we may battle to your heart's content."

Goku nodded. He figured this fighter was the perfect fighter. The snow king was far stronger than anyone he'd ever seen. Together they began walking through the snow. As they went, Goku rattled off all the things he had learned about fighting, thinking that the snow king was listening. After all, the snow king didn't look like he was made of ice like the last time he saw him. The king, however, ignored all of Goku's ramblings. Goku was just a child after all. What could he truly know about the world?

There were still many places that needed to be touched by the cold harshness of winter. So the snow king reached out and took hold of little Goku with his long white tail. Slowly, he lifted off the ground, taking little Goku with him. They would move much faster if they flew. Over the frozen meadows and forests they traveled. Over land and sea they soared, freezing the world beneath them under a layer of ice. Wolves howled far below them and the moon shone clear and bright above.

Securely wrapped in the tail of the snow king, Goku asked a question. "What's your name?"

The snow king smiled that cold, cold smile. "My name is Frieza."

And so Goku passed through the long winter's night.

* * *

THIRD STORY  
 _The Flower Garden of the Old Witch_

Goku was gone for a long time. Longer than he had ever been gone before. Chichi grew worried and at last told his grandfather what he had told her. The grandfather told her father and together with the search parties of the king, they looked for little Goku. Through the snow and wind they searched, but Goku could not be found. He had not reached the town, for no one there had seen him.

The days turned into weeks with still no sign of Goku. Chichi was beside herself with worry and concern for her dear friend. Where could he have gone? At night, when she was alone and could no longer put on a brave face for her father, she wept bitterly for a long time. Yet she still clung to hope that he was alive and safe somewhere.

After a time Grandpa Gohan became sick with worry for his grandson. He wouldn't eat and only slept fitfully in snatches. Eventually he got so weak that Chichi and her father were fearful that his heart wouldn't last. He became bedridden in his own home, wasting away with sadness. Unfortunately their fears were right. Grandpa Gohan died with the first melt of spring.

It felt as though hope was lost.

"Goku is dead and gone." Cried little Chichi one day. She walked through the melting snow and the new grass along the side of the little stream that wound its way around her father's palace. "He drowned in the river and was carried away." She keened sorrowfully as she walked.

"I don't believe it."

Chichi was startled. "Who said that?"

"I did." Chichi looked over and saw a monk, floating in a boat on the stream where the water met the river. The monk leaned on his staff and looked at her intently. "My name's Krillin. I've been on this river since the day I was born and I know that nobody has ever drowned in it."

"Oh." Chichi nodded. "But if he didn't drown, why hasn't Goku come home?"

The monk shrugged. "Perhaps he went on a journey. Who's to say?"

Little Chichi thought for a moment. "Well, if he did go on a journey, where would he go?"

"Oh, I don't know." The monk smiled. "But I bet he probably went down this river to get there."

Chichi's eyes shone with rekindled hope at his words. "Sir, if you could take me down the river, I might be able to find Goku!"

Krillin scratched his bald little head. "I don't know…"

"Please Krillin, I'll give you anything!" Chichi looked about her. She didn't really have much to give except… She reached in her pocket and pulled out a beautiful marble. It was orange, with a red star in the very center. It was one of her most precious things. A memento from her mother. She looked up at the monk, determination settling on her face. She held out the marble.

"I'll give you my orange gem if you will take me to him."

"Wow." Krillin's eyes widened. "It's beautiful." He smiled at the little girl. "But I can't accept this. I am a monk after all." He stepped out of the boat. "I will petition Kami on your behalf. The world is too dangerous for a little girl all by herself." He said and walked off to begin his prayers.

Chichi scowled at his back. Why wouldn't he just go with her? She stomped her foot in a childish display of anger. Goku was alive and she was helpless to go look for him. She thought a moment… Or was she?

Slowly so as not to draw attention to herself, she edged her way to the boat. She gingerly stepped into it and untied the mooring line. The boat didn't move for a moment, as if hesitating before embarking on this journey. In that moment of hesitation, Chichi tossed her precious marble on the bank. Hopefully the monk could use it to buy a new boat. She didn't really want to steal it after all. Then smoothly, as if sensing that it had been paid for, the boat drifted into the current and Chichi was rushed downstream.

At first Chichi was excited. The wind in her hair, the rushing water in the river, the bright sun shining overhead, all these things thrilled her. Then, as the river flowed faster and faster and little Chichi was carried further and further away from home, she started getting a little frightened. Perhaps she had been too hasty in taking the boat out on the river. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears, but she did not cry. If Goku could do it, so could she.

She watched the beautiful countryside pass by as she sailed and felt better. The pretty flowers, ancient trees and rolling hills brought a sense of peace to the little girl. The boat floated on for hours, each passing moment bringing even more beautiful sights than the one before. After some time she came to a large peach orchard. The trees were in bloom for it was spring. The whole area was filled with the scent of its blossoms. In the midst of the grove stood a small house with many colored windows. In front of the house were two statues in the likenesses of great warriors. Thinking they were real men from a far off, Chichi called out to them for help. When they did not answer, she realized they were stone and instead called louder to the little house.

There came a little old woman out of the house, floating on a crystal ball. Chichi was about to wonder at this when the old woman spoke. "Quit yelling! I'm old, not deaf!"

"Oh. Sorry."

The old woman clicked her tongue and the boat came to a sudden stop in the middle of the stream. "Now child, how did you manage to come this far on such a rapidly rolling river?" She reached out a wrinkled old hand and the boat floated to the bank as if it was a dog called to its master's side. "Come, tell Baba who you are and how you came here."

Chichi was a little afraid of the strange woman because she remembered the stories her father told her about meeting strangers in the forest, but ended up telling her everything anyway.

"So I am looking for Goku." Chichi finished with a question. "Please, have you seen him pass this way?"

"I'm sorry dear, but I haven't seen Goku." Baba smiled her missing toothed smile. "But don't be sad little Chichi. Even if I haven't seen him, he'll probably be here soon enough." She motioned to the little house. "Come have some peaches while you wait. I have a lovely garden where you can bide the time." Then she took Chichi by the hand and led her into the house. Inside, the windows painted the walls and floor with a myriad of beautiful hues. On the table sat a bowl of juicy peaches and Chichi had permission to eat as many as she liked. While she ate, Baba asked to brush her hair with a golden comb.

"You know, I've always wanted a daughter like you." Baba mused as she brushed the dark hair. The raven strands shone glossy and soft through her wizened fingers. The old woman sighed happily. "You could stay here you know. Live happily with me. After all, the world is far too dangerous for such a pretty little girl like you Chichi."

With each pass of the golden comb through her hair, Chichi thought less and less about her family, her dear friend Goku, and her journey to find him. You see, the old woman was a witch. Not a bad witch, but a lonely one. Visitors were few and far between and she so liked Chichi that she wanted to keep her as her own. So after Chichi had been lulled to sleep by the motion of the golden comb through her hair, Baba crept out to her garden and used her power. Immediately the rose bushes disappeared. They were still there, but now invisible. She knew that if Chichi saw the roses, she would remember everything and leave.

Later, after Chichi has awoken from her nap, Baba took her outside to show her the garden. Chichi was delighted by the many different flowers, all blooming as though spring would never end. She played in the garden for hours on end. Then, as the sun was setting, Baba took her inside for bed. They talked together quite pleasantly before settling the little girl down to sleep in a large plush bed. Chichi had the sweetest of dreams that night. All thoughts of her past gone from her head.

Chichi stayed with Baba for days upon days. Playing with the flowers in the warm sunshine, she hadn't a care in the world. One day, as she smelled the petunias, she thought that something was missing. Yes there were daffodils, crocuses, and sweet smelling lilacs. There were honeysuckle vines and marigold blossoms, but of all the different kinds of flowers she was sure one flower was missing. An important flower. She pondered this as she walked barefoot along the blooms.

Suddenly a sharp pain in her foot made her yelp. Chichi fell back on her rear, holding her foot as tears leaked from her eyes. Gingerly she pulled out a small thorn. She held it up curiously.

It was a rose thorn.

Immediately Chichi realized that the flower missing from the garden was the rose. She ran about, searching hither and thither for the beloved red flower. No sign of a petal. There wasn't even a leaf belonging to her favorite flower. Tears, caused not by the pain in her foot, but rather by the missing memories in her mind, brimmed in her deep dark eyes.

"Where are the roses?" Chichi said softly. Roses were important, but why? The tears fell from her eyes, landing on the invisible roses. They beaded there on the soft petals, outlining its delicate shape. Chichi looked down in surprise. She then leaned down and sniffed deeply. Its delicate fragrance calmed her. In a moment of clarity she reached out and picked the rose from the invisible bush. Immediately the spell fell away and the flower, red as blood, was visible in her hand. It reminded her of the glen next to her house. It reminded her of her mother and her father. It reminded her of the song she sang with little Goku in the middle of summer.

Chichi gasped. "How could I forget so easily?" She berated herself. "I was looking for Goku! I can't get distracted anymore." She sighed. "But it's been so long. Where do I look?"

She looked at the flower in her hand. "Do you know where he is little rose?" She hesitated. "Do you think he's dead?"

Surprisingly, the rose spoke. "No, he's not dead."

Chichi blinked. "You can talk?"

"This is an enchanted garden. Little Chichi, we've been watching you since you arrived. We heard the entire story when you were telling Baba."

"How do you know Goku isn't dead?" She asked.

"We know Goku is not dead because out roots grow deep in the earth where the dead lie. We would know if he was there." The rose answered her.

"That makes sense." Chichi thanked the rose and went on to ask the other flowers in the garden if they had seen little Goku. But the other flowers knew only their own stories. Ones they had told for ages. Stories of wishes granted and beautiful people saved. None of them could tell her a thing about Goku. Instead, she wasted even more time trying to sort out their nonsense.

She ran to the other end of the garden where the gate lay. It was overgrown with vines. The latch itself was rusted over. Undaunted, she pressed hard against the rusted latch until it finally gave way. She tore through the vines and ran out into the wide world. Her bare feet beat the dirt as she ran, only looking back to see that no one was following her. She ran until she was exhausted. She stopped to rest on a stone and noticed for the first time all the beautiful autumn colors around her. The leaves were red and yellow, golden and brown. A chill breeze blew through the air, telling her that autumn was already well underway.

"Did I really waste that much time?" Exclaimed Chichi. "It's already autumn!" The summer she so desperately craved had vanished. It was likely not to return until she found Goku.

"I can't rest any longer." She said and got up to go on. As she traveled, she winced at the pain in her feet. The run barefoot through the forest hadn't helped them. As she walked on, the world around her got darker and darker. The leaves turned brown before her eyes and rain pattered drearily down on her head. The thorn injury in her foot throbbed. Cold and tired, she trudged on.

Oh how dark and weary the world appeared!

* * *

FOURTH STORY  
 _The Prince and the Genius_

Chichi had to rest again. The constant rain and pain in her feet was making her weary. When she sat down, she noticed someone walking towards her across the snow. He was tall, dark haired, and had a scar across his face. She watched him come closer cautiously. She remembered all the stories her father had told her about meeting strangers in the forest. So far, they had proven true.

"Good day, little lady." The scarred man said. He meant to be kind to the girl for he could see that she was plainly afraid. "What are you doing out here all alone in the world?"

At the word alone, Chichi became very sorrowful. She knew exactly how it felt to be alone. Suddenly craving companionship, she told the whole story of her life and adventures. He listened quite attentively and she asked him if he'd seen Goku.

"I think so…" He nodded his head gravely. "I think I have seen him."

"No way!" Cried little Chichi. "Please tell me you have!" She leapt up and hugged him almost to death with joy.

"Easy there little lady!" The man laughed. "I said I _think_ I know where he is. It might be Goku but," he grimaced in disgust, "I think he's certainly forgotten you at this point."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Chichi released him quickly, pulling away from him with a hurt look.

The scarred man sighed. "It's… complicated."

"Please, sir…"

"Yamucha."

"Please mister Yamucha!" Chichi begged. "I must know what has become of Goku!"

Yamucha sighed again. "Alright, but you're not going to like it." He settled himself down beside her and told her his tale.

"In this kingdom where we now are, there lives a genius woman." He raised a finger. "This genius woman is so clever that she can build a device that can make any object shrink to the size of a pea and be carried around in your pocket!"

"Wow!"

He nodded. "I know right? Anyway, she is so clever that everything she does apart from inventing tends to bore her after a while." He grimaced. "It's a bad habit of hers to drop everything and start on something new if she gets bored. Well it so happened that this occurred not too long ago. She was sitting in her laboratory when suddenly she sat up straight and declared, ' _I need to find a way to control gravity!_ '. Her father, who was also in the lab at the time, agreed with her. Together they built an incredible machine designed to make anyone or anything become as light as a feather or as heavy as a mountain."

"That's amazing!" Chichi said, awed that someone could be so smart.

"It really was. But they happened upon a problem directly after creating this machine. They had no one strong enough to test it properly. It worked well enough with inanimate objects, but there was no one who could withstand the force. So they sent out word in all the newspapers. Soon guys from everywhere were lining up to try their hand at the machine. Barely any of them could withstand even the lowest setting on the machine and none of them could withstand the genius's temper."

"Is she scary when she's mad?"

"Chichi, you have no idea." Yamucha sighed. "She wanted someone who could stand up to the machine and her ridiculous demands. After all, being a genius she lives in such a grand house with technology beyond what most people have ever seen. Most of the guys who went in ended up confused and dumbstruck. That just irritated her even more." He shook his head slowly. "One guy was flirting with her a little too hard and she tossed him out on the street. It was a shame to see so many guys ripped apart by her fierce tongue. I could barely handle it myself when I was…" He coughed. "A-anyway, this went on for days. Finally there wasn't a person left who hadn't tried the machine. That's when _he_ showed up."

"You mean Goku don't you?! Of course he went to try the machine out! He's so strong and…"

"Wait a minute! You don't know if he's this Goku guy for sure! Let me finish!" Yamucha scolded her. Chichi quieted and he continued. "On the third day of shenanigans, this guy showed up. He had dark eyes like yours and black hair that spiked up in the air without any kind of gel."

"That sounds exactly like Goku! What was he wearing?"

"He wore a strange kind of armor…"

"You mean his gi?"

"Sure kid, but the strangest thing was that when he went inside he didn't get confused by all the technology." Yamucha said, slowly getting more and more irritated by his own description. "He had this arrogant smirk on his face the whole time. He waltzed around like he practically owned the place! It still frustrates me how cocky he was! It was like he was a prince and we were all just supposed to cater to his every whim!" He took a breath to regain his composure, but it really didn't help. "And Bulma didn't say a word about it! She just sat there and _stared_ at him! Like he was a piece of meat or something! It still makes me angry!"

"Why would that make you angry?"

"Because _I_ was her _boyfriend_!" Yamucha hollered. Chichi held up her hands, a little frightened of the man. At the sight of her hands, he calmed himself. Giving her a sheepish smile, he said, "Sorry Chichi. I guess I'm still not over our breakup." He sighed. "In any case he demanded to see the machine and used it like a pro. He handled levels that any other man wouldn't be able to do."

"That sounds just like Goku!"

"What was even more impressive was the fact that he talked Bulma down! I'd never seen her so cowed by another man before." Yamucha looked vaguely disgusted. "Even I could tell she was smitten with him. They fought like cats and dogs but she gave in to his every wish and in time, him to hers. Even though he didn't come for romance, it's exactly why he stuck around. That's why I said he might've forgotten you by this point. He's obviously tied up with Bulma."

Chichi heard this and was saddened. Perhaps Goku had found love apart from her? "Please mister Yamucha, would you take me back to this place? I need to see him for myself to know that this is true."

He sighed heavily. "I don't really want to go back there…"

"Please mister Yamucha! I beg you! Take me to Goku!"

He smiled at her earnest pleading. "Alright." He replied. "But I won't go in myself. You'll have to go alone at that point. They have really tight security. It might be hard for you, since you're only a kid."

"That's easy enough." Chichi said confidently. "Goku will recognize me and let me in right away."

Yamucha just smiled and shook his head. Then together they got up and started walking. As they walked, Chichi comforted Yamucha by telling him that there were other girls that were sure to like him. Yamucha just sighed sadly and nodded. They walked for a long time until they came to a series of great domed buildings.

"Here we are. Capsule Corps." He turned to her and nodded. "You can't go in through the front entrance. There are too many guards. Instead, you should go around to the back. There's a great greenhouse back there that they hardly ever lock. It should be open."

"Oh mister Yamucha! Thank you so very much!" Said Chichi, bowing low to the ground. "I'll remember your kindness forever!"

"No worries little Chichi." Yamucha smiled. "Just make sure to get Goku home."

"You bet!" Chichi looked up with a fire in her bright eyes. "I'll drag him home by his ear! It's what he deserves for making me worry so much!"

Yamucha chuckled and waved goodbye. Once he had gone, Chichi made her way around the back of the building. The lights in the building had long since gone out. It was very late at night. Everyone was sure to be asleep. Oh how little Chichi's heart beat with anxiety and longing. She could get caught breaking and entering or worse! Goku might not want to see her! Then she thought about their time in the glen and the sweet roses that grew there. She saw in her mind's eye the way Goku used to smile at her. Courage bubbled up from deep in her heart. He wouldn't cast her out! He would be glad to see her and hear of her adventures. How sorry he would be to know how much they had worried over him. How sad he would be when he learned of his grandfather's death.

Chichi swallowed nervously as she made it inside the building. Perhaps she wouldn't tell him that right away. She crept through the house, pausing to sneak glances inside darkened rooms. Which room held her beloved Goku? Shadows thrown by the moon caused her to jump from time to time. It was such a big house! Rooms filled with technology that she couldn't begin to understand. It was enough to bewilder anyone! Not just people coming to test the gravity machine.

Soon she came to the end of a hallway and peeked inside the bedroom. A great bed filled the space beside a pair of great sliding doors leading out onto a balcony. In the bed lay two forms. One was obviously a woman. Blue hair lay over a pretty face as Bulma the genius inventor slumbered. On the other side of the woman lay another lump. Black spikes of hair stuck out from beneath the comforter, but no other features were visible.

Chichi thought it must be Goku. The hair she saw certainly looked like his. A burning anger that he would sleep with an older woman filled her from the top of her head to her dirty and wounded feet. Ignoring any noise she might make, Chichi strode defiantly over to the bed.

She grabbed a grabbed of black hair and yanked, screeching, "GOKU YOU BIG JERK!"

There was a yowl of pain and immediately the person whose hair had been almost ripped from his head leapt from the bed. He whirled on Chichi and grabbed her by the neck. She found herself pinned against the wall, looking into a very angry set of eyes. Her own widened at the sight of his face. Sharp features gave him the air of nobility even while his eyes burned in hatred. His hair, though spiky, swept up and together in a flame of midnight.

It wasn't Goku.

"How DARE you!" Growled the strange man in front of her. "Who do you think you are?!"

Chichi started crying. She wept, not just because she was frightened of the scary man holding her by the throat, but because Goku wasn't there. It wasn't him. She had been wrong.

"Vegeta what's going on?!"

The man half turned to look at the woman getting up from the bed. "This wretched girl just attacked me in my sleep!"

"Girl?" Bulma's blue eyes landed on Chichi and she cried out. "Vegeta! She just a kid! Let her go!"

Vegeta dropped Chichi with a growl. Chichi curled into a ball on the floor and sobbed.

"Oh no!" Bulma rushed over and tended her all the while berating her companion. "Shhh… there there sweetie. Vegeta! Why do you always have to react with violence?! I'm sorry mister big bad scary man frightened you. What are you doing here?" Little Chichi was helpless to stop crying, but was able to tell her story to the two of them.

"You poor thing!" Bulma exclaimed. "Yamucha told you that Vegeta was your friend?" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "He knew it was Vegeta! What was he thinking?!"

Vegeta shook his head in disgust. "Pathetic weakling."

"Poor kid, you must be exhausted." She looked at Vegeta sternly. "Help me get her to a spare room. She'll spend the night here and we'll sort all this out in the morning."

Vegeta scowled at her. "Woman, I am not your servant."

Bulma scowled right back. "Do it or I'll take away your privileges."

There was an intense staring match that felt oddly intimate. Chichi was less scared, but didn't want to interrupt whatever was happening between the royal pair. Vegeta finally relented, muttering about it being too late for this. He scooped Chichi up in his arms and carried her to a nearby guest room, dumping her in the bed. He turned to leave, but paused at the door.

"You shouldn't have woken me." He said gruffly before exiting the room. She supposed that was as close to an apology as she was going to get. It was good that they didn't throw her out. Bulma was so nice and that man was… Scary. She crawled into bed and fell asleep quickly. She dreamt of Goku and slept the rest of the night through.

The following day she awoke well rested. Bulma gave her a wonderful breakfast and asked if there was anything she could do to help her on her journey. Chichi begged for only a pair of boots and a coat so the cold would not reach her easily. Bulma went all out, dressing her from head to toe in winter clothes. She was given a pair of boots and a beautiful winter coat lined with fur. She was also given bandages for her foot and food and drink for her journey. The genius also gave her a capsule car. She marveled at the tiny pill like thing that exploded in size seconds after pressing the button on top. The genius helped her into the car, reassuring her that it was like a go-kart at the fair and a child could drive it without getting arrested. Vegeta didn't interact with her, choosing to watch from a distance. He looked as grumpy and stern as ever.

"Take care Chichi!" Bulma cried as Chichi drove off. Chichi cried as well for the genius had been so kind to her. Even the scary man, in a way, had shown her kindness. It was a bitter parting.

* * *

FIFTH STORY  
 _The Little Robber Girl_

The car drove on through a thick forest. Amidst the trees it shone like a torch because it was so shiny and new. To a large group of robbers, it was a prime meal ticket.

"Look at that fancy capsule car!" They cried, rushing forward and leaping upon the car from all sides. Chichi shrieked and pulled the car off the path in fear. They hauled her out of the car and rifled through all her supplies.

"Such a pretty little girl." One particularly nasty robber said. "She's as tender as a juicy steak and will taste just as nice!" He pulled out a long nasty looking knife. Suddenly, the rat-tat-tat of gunfire caused all the robbers to duck in fear. A lone woman, blonde hair tied back with a red ribbon roared up to the scene in a motorcycle. She hefted an automatic weapon over her shoulder and sneered at the robbers.

"Oi! Who told you scumbags you could poach on my turf!?" She hollered at the cowering thieves. Then her eye caught Chichi and she grinned. "Found something good did ya? I think I'll just take that then." She said, for she was strong willed and obstinate. She hopped off her bike and capsulated the car and its contents. Then she glared at the shaking Chichi. "Well what're you waitin' for girlie? Get over here!"

Chichi got up slowly. She was quite frightened of the entire situation. But what choice did she have? She slowly approached the robber woman. She was shocked to see that the woman was only a little older than she was. Perhaps taller and meaner, but close in age never the less. She was broader about the shoulders and had darker skin, but somehow Chichi could tell. She got up on the motorcycle with the robber girl and they were gone.

Chichi held to the robber girl tight around the waist as they practically flew over the ground. When they had gotten too far away for the robbers to follow, the robber girl stopped and tossed Chichi carelessly off the bike.

"So, you some kinda princess?" She said casually as though she hadn't just robbed a band of robbers.

Chichi's eyes went wide. "H-how did you know?"

The girl shrugged. "I got a knack for stuff like that." She looked at her closely. "Listen, I need someone to keep me company and do my laundry for me. I won't kill you as long as you don't make me angry, got it?" Chichi nodded vigorously and the robber girl grinned. "Name's Launch by the way."

"I' m Chichi." And she told her all that had happened and about little Goku.

Launch listened intently and when she had finished, nodded. "Don't go after him. If a guy leaves you then he's worth less than dirt." She wiped the tears from Chichi's frightened eyes. "Don't worry. I'll take care of you. I won't have my friend cry over some boy!"

They got back on the motorcycle and drove on until they came to a great castle. It looked like it had surely seen better days. Huge and made of stone, the walls were cracked from top to bottom. A tower or two had crumbled and lay in a heap on the ground. They rode the motorcycle right into the main building and stopped next to a roaring fire. There was no chimney; the smoke had to find its own way out of the room. Soup bubbled in a great caldron hung over the fire.

"You shall sleep here with me and my pets." Launch said as she hopped off the motorcycle. After they had something to eat and drink, she took Chichi to a pile of blankets and pillows. All around the edges of the room were cages of various sizes. Some held pigeons, some held cats and dogs. There was even a cage where a lonely skunk rested sleepily. "Look at them." She said happily. "They'd all run away if they weren't properly locked up. Aren't they neat?" She turned to a particularly large cage and grinned. "And here is my sweetheart, Tien." She reached in the cage and tugged out a young, bald man. He was taller than her, obviously stronger than her by the way his muscles bulged, but had a collar around his neck that she tugged him by. Stranger still was the third eye that rested in the middle of his forehead.

Chichi gasped. "You have a man as a pet?!"

"Not really a pet." Lanch pulled out a gun and held it roughly against his neck. He went very still and she grinned. "I won him in a bet. I have to keep him locked up or else he'd run away just like all men do. We play a lovely game of dodge the bullet every night to remind him who is in control."

"That's…" Chichi gulped at the sight of the gun. "D-do you have that gun with you while you sleep?"

"I always sleep with my gun." Launch said, shoving Tien back into his cage. "It's a dangerous world out there without one." She pulled Chichi down onto the pillows and blankets beside her. "Now tell me again about Goku and why you went out into the world to find him."

Chichi told her story all over again. Soon Launch was snoring peacefully with the gun pressed up against Chichi's side. Chichi couldn't sleep a wink. She didn't know if she would live or die. Having another person chained up was horrifying! Would she end up like that?

"Psst!"

Chichi raised her head and looked towards the cages. There against the bars leaned Tien, beckoning her. She shook her head and pointed to the sleeping robber girl beside her. Tien sighed and spoke softly.

"I've seen him. This Goku you mentioned."

Chichi felt her heart still in her chest. "You have?" She breathed.

"Yes. He was carried off by the snow king. I saw it while I was traveling. The wind blew so fiercely that night that I had to bury down in the snow to save myself." He grimaced. "That's when I was caught and forced into slavery."

Chichi felt very bad for the man. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, well then I was lost in a bet by my 'master'." He gestured to Launch. "She treats me far better than he ever did."

"I don't know if…" Chichi shook her head. "Do you know where the snow king was taking Goku?"

"He was most likely traveling to the high north." Tien rested his chin in his hand. "That's where I' m from, you know. The land of snow and ice, sparkling plains and fresh breezes." He sighed wistfully. "If only I hadn't accepted that fool errand from my emperor. In any case, the snow king's castle is at the north pole."

"Oh Goku…" Chichi started to cry.

"Be quiet." Mumbled the robber girl. "Or I shall have to shoot you."

In the morning Chichi told Launch all that Tien had told her during the night. Launch looked at her seriously. "Men like to talk though. How do I know he's telling the truth?" She looked over at the cage and thought hard for a moment. Then she reached over and unlatched the cage, pulling Tien out by the collar. She held her gun up to his chin. "Do you know how to get to the far north?"

Tien looked at her, eyes sparkling. "Who would know better than I? I was born and raised there. I know the snowy plains like the back of my hand."

"Hmmm…" She leaned in close, her eyes challenging his. "How do I know you're not just saying that to escape from here?"

He tilted his head down so that their noses were almost touching. "My honor would not let me. Not until I had repaid my debt."

"There was no debt to repay."

"You freed me from slavery and tended my wounds." He reached up and caressed the side of her face gently. "You fed me and kept me from trouble in this strange land. You threaten to shoot me should I try to leave, but leaving was never on my mind."

"Y-you… didn't want to leave?"

Tien shook his head slowly. The gun Launch held drifted down to her side. A strangely soft expression was on her face.

"I…"

A sudden commotion broke through the tension surrounding them. Launch swore loudly and dashed to her stash of guns. "Someone's tripped my alarms!" She ran to the entrance and fired a spray of bullets, cursing when she recognized the men who threw themselves out of harm's way. "It's those scumbags from earlier! They must've followed our trail!" A few bullets pinged off the nearby stonework and she swore again. She fired another heavy spray into the surrounding bushes and ran back to Tien and Chichi. "I can keep them pinned down long enough for you two to get out of here."

Chichi's eyes widened. "Us? But what about you?"

Launch ignored her. She turned to the three eyed man. "Tien if you want to make good on your debt, you take little Chichi to find her boy!" She reached over and unclasped the collar from his neck. The collar fell to the ground with a clatter.

Tien looked at her with wide eyes. "Launch…"

She winked at him. "Hey don't get me wrong, I'd love to keep you around a little longer, but there's no time for that now." Then she turned to Chichi. "Don't worry Chichi. You know I can handle myself just fine." She grinned. "I can't give your car back; I need the money for a new hideout. But you can have all the food in my pack."

"B-but Launch…" Chichi wept with that bittersweet feeling of joy mixed with sorrow.

"Hey now! Don't cry over me. You ought to be happy. Save your tears for someone who needs them." She turned away from them to fire at the thieves at the doorway. "Now get going! Things are about to get messy!"

Tien didn't hesitate. He reached out and scooped Chichi onto his back. Then he dashed over and snagged the pack of food. He and Chichi made for the secret back door. They reached the threshold and paused. Turning around, they watched Launch barrel into the firefight in a surge of glee.

"Goodbye!" Chichi called out and away they went. If Chichi thought Tien to be strong before, she knew now that his abilities lie in speed. They practically flew through the forest. Around stumps and stones and over marshes and plains nearly as fast as the wind itself. They only stopped to rest now and again, sharing the food that Launch had given them. It grew colder and colder the further north they went. Soon, high above them, color flashed in the sky.

"Look Chichi." Tien said. "Those are the northern lights. See how they dance through the sky? We're almost to my home country."

It was a good thing too. All the food in the pack had been eaten up.

* * *

SIXTH STORY  
 _The Emperor and the Pervy Master_

Night had fallen by the time they had reached a strange little house. It was strange in the fact that the roof sloped all the way to the ground and the door was so low that they had to creep in on their hands and knees. Inside there was a curiously small man with skin as white as freshly fallen snow. His cheeks were rosy red and he looked very surprised to see them.

Tien broke into a beaming smile. "Chiaotzu!"

The little man grinned back at him. "Tien!" He leapt up into his arms and hugged him. "It's been so long! Where have you been all this time?"

Tien laughed sheepishly. "It's a long story." He introduced Chichi to Chiaotzu, who was surprised to find that this little man was the emperor of the country. Apparently this home was his private estate. Tien then proceeded to tell him Chichi's story after telling him his own story. Chichi herself was so cold that she couldn't speak

"Oh man that sucks!" Said the young emperor. "You have such a long way to go!" He turned to Tien. "You've done an honorable thing, helping this young lady. I'll help you all I can." He went to his desk and began writing a note. "Take this note to Master Roshi. He is wise and lives closer to the snow king's castle than I do. He'll be able to help you further." So when Chichi was warmed and had something to eat and drink, Chiaotzu handed her the note and told her to take great care not to lose it. Then Tien took her on his broad back and carried her at full speed off into the night. The northern lights flashed brightly overhead.

At length they reached the house of Master Roshi. They knocked on the chimney for there wasn't a door above ground. They crept in through a tunnel beneath the snow, but it was so terribly hot inside that when they met master Roshi, he was only in his Hawaiian boxer shorts. Chichi covered her eyes and Tien rebuked the old man.

"Hey! It's too hot in here for clothes!" Roshi protested, ginning lecherously. He was short and wrinkled, with a long white beard and dark sunglasses. "Why don't you join me little lady? You'll die from heatstroke if you're not careful."

Chichi took off her coat and boots with a huff. "Dirty old man."

"Master Roshi, we came for your help." Tien said after taking his own coat off. Chichi pulled out the note and handed it to old man. After he'd read it three times, he knew it by heart and placed it on the desk to re-use. Paper was hard to get way out in the middle of nowhere. Then Tien told his story and Chichi's story. Behind his sunglasses, his eyes twinkled, but he didn't say anything.

"Master Roshi, you are the wisest master I know." Tien said. "I know you know the technique to fire ki from your hands. You have a golden cloud that can fly faster than the wind can blow. Can't you teach little Chichi a technique that will make her as strong as ten men to overcome the snow king?"

"The power of ten men?" Roshi said. "That would do her little good. The snow king is far more powerful than anyone on earth." He walked over to the television in the room and turned on a ladies workout video. As he watched from behind his dark sunglasses, Tien pleaded with the old master to help Chichi. Chichi herself pleaded with him. She beseeched him with such tearful eyes that his own seemed to twinkle again behind his sunglasses. So he stood up, went to the refrigerator and pulled out cold juice for his guests. "Goku is with the snow king right now. I'm sure that he hasn't come out because he finds everything there so much to his liking. He thinks it's the finest place in the world." Roshi took of drink of his juice. "Though from what you told me, I think that really isn't the case. He's probably got a bit of black star ball in his eye. Probably some in his heart as well."

"Black star ball?"

"Yes. It distorts the thoughts and desires of the heart, making everything ugly and useless apart from those warped desires. These must be taken out or Goku will never return to what he was before."

Chichi swapped a worried look with Tien. Tien gazed at the old master intently. "Please master Roshi. Can't you give her something to help her fight this power that has Goku gripped so tightly?"

Roshi looked at Chichi soberly. Then he motioned to Tien, pulling him aside into a corner for a whispered conversation.

"I can give her no greater power than she has already." He said to the three eyed man. "Don't you see how strong she is? People and animals are obliged to help her. She came through the world barefoot and suffered no lasting damage. Her purity and innocence of heart is her greatest power." He folded his arms behind his back. "If she herself cannot get into the castle of the snow king and remove the glass from Goku, we can do nothing to help her."

Tien was troubled by this. "Then what _can_ we do, master? We cannot leave her like this."

"Listen Tien, two miles from here is the courtyard of the snow king's castle. You can carry little Chichi so far and set her down at the edge of it. But you can't stay there long. You must come straight back here as quickly as you can." Tien nodded and set his jaw. Without a word he swept Chichi up in his arms and ran out into the bitter cold of winter.

"My coat and boots!" Chichi cried as soon as she felt the cutting wind. But Tien did not stop. He ran faster and faster until he reached the edge of a courtyard ringed with holly bushes. There, among the red berries, he set Chichi down. He looked at her with sorrowful eyes. "Good luck." Then he left her, running back as fast as he could.

There stood poor Chichi, without shoes, without a coat, in the midst of the cold, dreary, ice-bound land of the far north. Her breath hitched in confused sadness at her friend's abrupt leaving. She swallowed her tears and ran forwards as quick as she could. All around her, as she ran through the courtyard, snowflakes blew in from all directions. However, these large flakes did not come from the sky. The sky above was quite clear and dancing with the bright northern lights. These snowflakes ran along the ground from the castle. The nearer they came the larger they looked. They took on fearsome shapes. Grand beast-men with horns and spikes. Men with oversized muscles and fearsome scowls. All of them were guards of the snow king. Living snowflakes, dazzling white and fearsome.

Little Chichi was so very frightened of them. She clasped her hands together and prayed fervently to Kami. The cold was so intense that the words came out of her mouth like a cloud of steam. She kept praying as the living snowflake monsters came closer, till the steam that came from her prayer formed into shapes itself. Amazed, Chichi watched the steam become the form of a fearsome dragon. The dragon tore through the living snowflakes as though they were paper. His long body wrapped itself around Chichi, blocking her from the wind. She looked into the dragon's eyes and they seemed to smile at her so kindly. She thanked the dragon protecting her and walked on in courage and in safety.

But now we've got to see what Goku is doing. In truth, he didn't think at all about little Chichi. He never supposed that she could be standing in front of the palace.

* * *

SEVENTH STORY  
 _Of the Palace of the Snow King and What Happened There_

The palace walls were made of snow. The windows and doors made of ice; clear and strong. There were more than a hundred rooms in it all formed with drifted snow. The largest of them extended for miles and all were lit up by the northern lights. In every room they could be seen dancing in the heavens. It was beautiful, but a cold and impersonal beauty. Everything was so large and empty. No people lived there. There was no music, no laughter, and no warmth. Neither pleasant games nor pleasant talk was there. Just the empty vast coldness of ice.

In the very center of this vast emptiness was the throne room. It sat on a frozen lake whose surface had been splintered into a thousand forms by the force of the punches thrown there. It was the perfect training ground and the snow king, Lord Frieza, thought it to be the best.

Goku was blue with cold, nearly black with frostbite on his fingers and toes, but he did not feel it. The snow king had beaten away the icy shivering and now he felt nothing. It was just as well for his heart was already a lump of ice. He stood there on the perfect training ground and went through a complex kata, watching his reflection in the mirror like ice. He was remarkably good, as if he was dancing to a hidden tune. His face, however, held no joy. Instead he looked intensely concentrated. This kata was of the most importance to him; this opinion owed to the piece of the black star ball still in his eye. He went through many forms. Gracefully leaping about and throwing punches. But there was always a problem; he could not complete the kata for there was a move he could never do. The 'transformation' that Frieza told him about. The snow king had said to him, 'When you find your transformation, then you shall be your own master. The strongest in the world. And I will give you a feast beyond your imagination, with cakes and crèmes and good things to eat.' But he could never manage to do it.

"Now Goku," said Frieza, "I must be off. I need to visit warmer countries to cool them off. Remind them that winter holds sway above the other seasons. I must dust the tops of the mountains that they may look frosted with sugar. It will be good for them and make the people pay me respect." And away flew the snow king, leaving little Goku alone on the lake of ice. And he stood there for the longest time until his knees buckled and he sat. He was meditating so deeply and sat so still that anyone would have thought him frozen stiff.

Just at that moment, little Chichi came in through the great door of the castle. The dragon around her held her safe against the raging winds until the door was shut. Then he dissipated like smoke. She went on through the castle until she came to the throne room and caught sight of Goku. She recognized him immediately and ran to him, slipping all over the place in her bare feet.

She reached him and threw her arms around his neck. "Goku! Oh Goku I've finally found you!" She hugged him tight, feeling such an immense relief she could hardly stand it.

But Goku didn't move. He sat quite still, stiff and cold and unfeeling.

"Goku?" Chichi pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Goku it's me! It's Chichi!"

Goku's eyes were blank, his mind far away from Chichi's words. After an agonizing moment he finally focused his eyes on Chichi and spoke.

"Who are you?"

Chichi felt as if her heart would break. Tears of anger and of sadness sprung readily to her eyes. "You don't remember me? Oh how could you! You… you…" She beat her fists on his cold chest. "I searched the world for you! I left home and father for you! I was almost killed, robbed, and frozen to death to find you! You can't forget me!" When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, all anger gone. "I thought you loved me. That we would get married when we grew up." Tears, hot and sorrowful fell from her eyes to splash on his breast. "I love you so much Goku… please remember me…"

While she spoke, the hot tears she cried onto Goku's chest warmed him. Slowly the warmth sank deeper and deeper. Finally it penetrated straight to his heart. The ice surrounding it melted away and washed out the fragment of the black star ball that had stuck there. And as he looked at Chichi his heart began to burn in his chest while she sang –

"Roses are red, violets are blue, Goku is sweet, I'm gonna marry him."

Immediately Goku burst into tears. His heart was far too warm in his chest. Memories that he had forgotten burned there to the tune of her little song. He wept so much that the splinter of the black star ball swam out of his eye. He gasped and rubbed at it. Then he looked at Chichi in amazement.

"Chichi!" He lifted his cold arms and pulled her close in a hug. "Chichi! Where have you been all this time?"

"G-Goku?"

He pulled back and looked around. "Actually, where have _I_ been? It's really cold in here. Is it winter already? This place looks like it's made out of snow! Wow it's _huge_! Did you build this castle Chichi? It must've taken you a long time to build it. Gosh it's freezing in here!" His stomach rumbled and he smiled sheepishly. "Hey Chi, you don't have any snacks on you, do you?"

Chichi's face broke into a smile. "Goku! You remember me!" She threw herself into his arms and held him tight. "You're okay! You're back! Oh Goku I missed you so much!" She laughed and wept for joy. It was so pleasing to see them like this that the northern lights above danced for them.

"I missed you too Chi." He hugged her tight. "I'm sorry I made you worry."

Little Chichi beamed at him. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Immediately he blushed, the whole of his face turning red and warm. She giggled and kissed his hands. They became warm as well, pink and healthy as they had ever been. She leaned down and kissed his knee and his entire leg all the way down to the toes warmed up and tingled.

"Wow Chichi!" Goku exclaimed. "I'm all warm again! You must have magic lips or something!"

Chichi laughed again. Then she blushed and leaned forward, pecking him gently on the lips. Goku blinked. Then a fierce heat burst from in his heart. It overtook all his other senses until it poured forth from him in a golden light. His black hair stood on end and turned gold. His eyes turned blue-green and powerful. Chichi gasped at the look of him.

Goku looked down. In the reflection of the lake he saw himself transformed. "Wow." He said softly. Then he smiled. "I did it. I transformed. Now I'm my own master, strongest in the world with a feast fit for the snow king." He looked at Chichi happily. "But who cares about any of that? I have you and that's all I could ever want." The snow king could come home whenever he pleased, for now Goku was stronger than him and had his freedom.

Then they took each other by the hand and left the great palace of ice. The icy land outside suddenly didn't seem as cold. They talked of Grandpa Gohan and the Ox King, of the roses in the glen and of the warm summer sun. Goku was very sad to hear that his grandfather had died. Together, they wept tears of sorrow as they walked. However, the tears were soon forgotten as Chichi told her story of how she came to find him. They had just arrived at the holly bushes that surrounded the courtyard when a voice called out to them.

"Chichi!"

Chichi turned and smiled. "Tien!" The three eyed man ran up to her, out of breath. "It's good to see you!"

"I came as soon as the storm stopped." He panted. "Master Roshi said that you had found Goku. Otherwise the storm wouldn't have ended."

"I did!" Chichi beamed at him. "And here he is! Goku, meet Tien. He helped me to find you."

"Nice you meet you." Tien said.

"Nice to meet you too." Goku replied, grinning. "Thank you for helping Chichi. You look pretty strong. We should spar sometime!"

"Goku." Chichi gave him an admonishing look. "We've got to go home first. Father is probably worried sick by now."

Goku laughed sheepishly. Tien laughed along with him and pulled the pack from his back. Upon opening it, they saw it was full of food. Goku was immediately delighted and set to the meal like he hadn't eaten in weeks. After they had shared a meal among the holly bushes, Tien walked with them, guiding them back to the edge of his country so they could find their way home. They stopped along the way to visit Master Roshi and Chiaotzu who were overjoyed by Chichi's success. It was a tearful goodbye each time.

Soon they had reached the borders of the country and stopped to bid farewell to Tien. All around the trees were putting out green young leaves and the birds were singing among them. The three were enjoying the peaceful moment before they had to leave when suddenly the roar of a motorcycle cut through the quiet. Out of the woods rode a woman with blonde hair tied back in a red ribbon. Tien and Chichi recognized her immediately.

"Launch!"

"Chichi! Tien!" Launch jumped off her bike and ran to meet them. "You jerks! You're alright!" She hugged Chichi and tried to hide the tears of happiness from her eyes. "It ain't right to make a lady worry." She released Chichi and hugged Tien as well.

The three eyed man blushed heavily. "Wh-what are you doing so far out here Launch?"

"Well I got tired of waiting around for something to happen, so I figured I'd go out and see the world for myself like Chichi. I figured on going up north first since that's where you're from." Then she noticed Goku for the first time. "I guess you're the guy she went after." She sized him up and pulled out a gun. "I should like to know whether you deserve rescuing from my dear friend Chichi." She aimed it carefully at his head. "You ain't gonna leave her, are ya?"

Goku, oblivious to the gun, smiled brightly. "No way! Not in a million years."

Chichi bopped Launch on the arm lightly, gaining a laugh out of the feisty blonde. Then she asked her about the prince and the genius.

"Them? They've gone to a foreign country on some sort of vacation." Launch shrugged. "Yamucha told me so. Said he was going back to his hometown to train or whatever. But that's all talk, tell me instead how you managed to get Goku back."

And so Goku and Chichi told her all about it.

"Wow! What a story!" She said, marveling. "Everything's set right at last."

She took both of them by the hand, promising that if she ever came their way to stop by and visit. And then she offered to give Tien a lift home. Chichi looked at the wide eyed man and gave him a gentle nudge of encouragement. Tien looked startled, but only for a moment. He ran to her and hopped on the back of her motorcycle. Together, grinning in a way unbefitting a robber girl and the emperor's bodyguard, they rode off into the wide world.

Hand-in-hand, Goku and Chichi started back home. As they walked, spring appeared more and more lovely. The weather got warmer and warmer until Chichi thought that summer must be upon them. Soon they recognized the little town where Goku had sought to travel that cold winter's night. They looked at each other, grinned widely and started running up the road to where their homes were. They reached Chichi's house and went inside. Chichi thought to go talk to her father right away, but as they caught a glimpse of the glen outside, both immediately wanted to go play among the flowers. They rushed down the hallway to the back door. But before they made it outside, Goku paused.

"Chichi, wait a second."

Chichi looked at him behind her. "What is it?"

"Come look at this." Goku gestured to the hall mirror. Chichi came up beside him and gasped aloud. A man and a woman looked out at them from within the mirror. The woman was tall, beautiful and shapely with long black hair and shining eyes. The man was taller, built powerfully and handsome with the same shining eyes as the woman.

They had grown up.

"Oh wow. When did that happen?" Chichi breathed, amazed that they'd become so big.

Goku smiled tenderly. "Come on. Let's go to the glen."

They went outside and walked among the flowers. They sat there amidst the roses like they had as children. Memories assaulted them and they sighed in happiness. Chichi admired the flowers in full bloom and Goku admired Chichi. Then he smiled and softly sang to her.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, Chichi is sweet, I'm gonna marry her."

Chichi looked at Goku with love in her eyes. They kissed there among the flowers, both grown up yet children at heart. And it was summer. Warm, beautiful summer.

 **THE END**


	7. The Fisherman and His Wife

**The Fisherman and His Wife**  
Based on the German fairytale and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Goku, Chichi, Shenron

 _ **A story with a moral.**_

 **A/N:** Bit of Chichi hate going on here. It fit the story though...

* * *

 _There was once a fisherman who lived with his wife in a little hut close to the sea. The fisherman went fishing every day and enjoyed the peace and serenity he found in his job. The sparkling blue ocean cheered him and he lived happily._

 _One day he felt something big tugging on his line. He stared deep into the deep water and saw a large shadow beneath the waves._

"Finally!" Goku grinned widely. "I was starting to think I fished the ocean dry."

He pulled hard on the line and reeled with all his substantial strength. With a burst of water, an enormous fish broke the surface of the sea. It was twice as big as Goku and a bright shimmering green. It had a fierce looking face and sharp teeth.

"Woah!" Goku gaped at the beast. "Now that's a big fish!"

"WHO HAS SUMMONED ME?" Rumbled the big fish.

"I'm Goku the fisherman." Said Goku. "And you're going to be my dinner."

"FISHERMAN GOKU, DO NOT EAT ME." Shenron said. "FOR I AM SHENRON. THE MIGHTY ENCHANTED DRAGONFISH OF DREAMS. RETURN ME TO THE SEA TO SWIM FREELY."

"Gosh, I never met a talking fish before." Goku scratched the back of his head. "I'm awful hungry, but that's no problem. I'd rather not eat a talking fish. You're probably the only one!" He waded out and unhooked the dragonfish. "I'll just try another spot."

 _He released the dragonfish and fished elsewhere. Unfortunately he didn't catch anything else. A little disappointed, he went home to his wife in the little hut by the sea._

Goku walked in to the hut with a smile. "Chichi, I'm home!"

"Goku," came the disapproving reply, "where's the fish?"

"Oh…" Goku rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I uh… didn't catch anything today."

Chichi turned from her place at the stove to pin Goku down with a glare. "Nothing at all?"

Goku started to sweat. "Well, I did catch a dragonfish, but he said he was one of them enchanted fish. So I let him go."

A vein pulsed in Chichi's forehead. "You… let him go?"

"Uh… yeah." Goku gulped nervously.

There was a pause.

"Why didn't you wish for anything?!" She exploded.

"W-what do you mean?" Goku backed up a little. "Sure he was an enchanted fish, but there's nothing we really need…"

"Are you _kidding_ me?! Just look at this place!" Chichi gestured at the humble hut. "It's so poor and wretched! I used to live like a princess and now we live in THIS! You could've at least wished for a nice clean cottage or apartment or something! ANYTHING would be better!"

"I thought you were okay with it…"

"I'm not!" Chichi pointed angrily at the door. "Now you go back and find that fish _right now_ Goku! Tell him I want a pretty little cottage! It's _not_ a hard wish! He'll surely give it to us."

"But Chichi," Goku pleaded, "I only caught him by chance. He might not even be willing to listen to me."

"Nonsense! You spared his life so now he owes you." She spun him around and pushed him out the door. "Now get going!"

 _The fisherman was unhappy and unwilling to go back, but his wife was downright scary when she was angry. He went back to the sea and looked across the water. It did not sparkle like it had before. Now it was a dull green. He cleared his throat and spoke loudly across the waves._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;

My wife is angry and wants a wish,

As thanks for not making you my dish."

He waited there for a moment, fidgeting in the fading light of day. Then a great swell rose from the ocean's smooth surface. Shenron's fearsome face burst from the water in a shower of droplets.

"FISHERMAN GOKU, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Oh… uh…" Goku looked up at the dragonfish. "Actually Chichi, my wife, sent me to ask you for a wish. She says that when I caught you, I should've wished for something." He sighed. "She says she doesn't want to live in our hut anymore. She wants a pretty cottage."

The dragonfish's eyes glowed red for a moment. Then he said. "RETURN HOME. HER WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED." And disappeared beneath the waves.

 _The fisherman went home and found that where his hut used to stand, now stood a little cottage, pretty as you please. It was bigger than his hut had been with a yard holding chickens and ducks and a pretty little vegetable garden full of ripe produce ready for picking. Awed by the dragonfish's power, he went inside and saw that the cottage was completely furnished with the nicest things. Tables and chairs, couches and beds, paintings and plants, a big screen TV and fully stocked fridge, it was almost too much to take in._

"Oh Goku!" Chichi rushed up to him and caught him in a big hug. "Isn't it lovely?"

"It's really nice in here." Goku's eyes immediately went to the fridge. "Can I have a snack?"

Chichi chuckled. "I'll make you dinner after we finish exploring this place!"

Goku smiled at his happy wife. "I'm glad you like it Chichi. We can live here happily, don't you think?"

"We'll see." Chichi replied with a strange smile. Goku felt a slight chill go down his back at her expression, but it was washed away by the prospect of a hearty meal.

 _They lived there quite happily for a week or so. Then one day before the fisherman went fishing, his wife stopped him with a question._

"Goku," Chichi said slowly, "don't you think this cottage is too cramped?"

Goku looked up from mending his nets. "Cramped?"

"Yes. It's far too small." Chichi sighed heavily. "That fish could've given us a bigger house, but he gave us one like this? What would we do if we had company over?" She nodded to herself. "There's nothing for it. Go back to the fish and get him to give us something bigger."

"But we have all the space we need." Goku said with a frown. "What would we do with more space?"

"We would be prepared!" Chichi pushed him towards the door. "Now go ask the fish for a castle!"

"A _castle_?" Goku was pushed out into the yard. "But he already gave us this _cottage_! He's not gonna give us a _castle_!"

"He has the power to do it easy." She set a steely glare on him. "He owes you. Go get us a castle or you'll go without dinner."

 _The fisherman's heart was heavy. He really didn't want to go ask for more from the fish. It wasn't right to ask for more when they had all they needed. Nevertheless, he went back to the sea to find the dragonfish. When he reached the ocean, the water was still calm, but dark and grey instead green or blue. He looked out of the water and called for the fish._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;  
My wife threatened to take my food away  
Unless you grant her wish today."

Again Shenron's face broke the waters. He looked at Goku curiously.

"FISHERMAN GOKU? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Ah… sorry about this, but it's Chichi again." Goku said. "She wants a castle."

The dragonfish's eyes glowed red. "GO BACK HOME. HER WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED."

 _The fisherman returned home to find not a little comfortable cottage, but a great stone palace. All around it were gardens bursting with flowers and trees laden with ripe fruit. A stable was off to the side where groomsmen brushed horses down and prepared ornate carriages. A park was on the other side, filled with stags and foxes and hares. As he walked inside, servants opened the doors for him and bowed as he passed, awed once more into the great hall. It was paved with marble slabs and had grand pillars supporting the roof. The walls were hung with beautiful tapestries and intricate woven carpets covered the floors. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. A long table further down the hall was groaning with the weight of rare delicacies and costly foods. It was all anything anyone could every want._

"This is amazing." Goku was stunned. "What are we gonna do with all this stuff?"

"Oh Goku!" Chichi dashed up to him from another ornate room. "Isn't this far better than the cottage? It's almost like my father's castle!"

Goku smiled at her. "As long as you're happy. We're sure to be content with this place, right?"

Again Chichi smiled that strange smile. "We'll see." Goku looked hard at her, but was easily distracted by the table of delicacies.

 _They went to bed happy. However, when the wife woke up the next morning, she looked out the window and saw the beautiful countryside all around them. The sun shone brightly and illuminated everything in a golden glow. The wife felt a sudden, all encompassing, fiery desire._

Chichi elbowed her husband roughly in the side. "Goku! Goku wake up!"

"Mmmmwha?" Goku rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. "G'morning Chi…"

"Goku! Look outside!"

Goku turned sleepy eyes to the window. He yawned. "Yeah… sunrises sure are pretty."

"Not the sunrise, you doofus!" Chichi gestured out the window. "The land! We could be president over all this!"

"President?" Goku laid back down and rolled over. "What do you wanna be president for?" Chichi shoved him off the bed and he tumbled to the floor with a bang. "Awwh!" He looked up at Chichi and gave her a hurt look. "But I don't want to be president."

"Well if you don't want to be president, I will. Go back to the fish and get him to make me president."

"Why do you want to be president?!" Goku was exasperated. "We've asked him for too much already!"

"Goku…"

 _Ten seconds later, the fisherman was running from the castle half dressed and afraid for his life. When he was far enough away to be sure of his safety, he finished dressing. He walked to the beach, sad that his wife wasn't content. Wasn't he enough for her? He really didn't want to ask the dragonfish for anything else, but he loved his wife. Perhaps she'd be satisfied after becoming president?_

 _He reached the sea and saw that it was dark grey, and stormy. It gave off a foul fishy smell, like there had been a plague beneath the waves. He stood on the shore and called out to the fish._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;  
My wife seems to want more from you,  
And frankly I don't know what to do."

Shenron slowly rose from the water. There was a toothbrush between his teeth and he looked rather put out.

"FISHERMAN GOKU. YOU ARE BACK AGAIN?"

"It's Chichi again." Goku said sadly. "She wants to be president now." He spread his hands in supplication. "We already have a president, but she wants to be president instead. I just don't get it."

Shenron's eyes flashed red, but an irritated kind of red. "REGARDLESS. HER WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED." And he vanished without another word.

 _So the anxious fisherman headed back home. When he arrived, the castle he had slept in last night had changed into a much larger place. A great tower had been added and there were bright banners and pennants everywhere. Inside, everything was gilded with marble and gold. The tapestries were of fine velvet with great golden tassels. A grand door was open and there, behind a desk sat his wife. She was talking frantically on a phone and secret service men watched her from every angle._

Goku cleared his throat softly. "So… you're president now, right Chichi?"

Chichi looked up from her phone call irritably. "Of course I'm president now. Can't you see how busy I am?"

"I see that…" Goku's face fell a little. "But isn't this what you wanted?"

"Of course this is what I wanted!" Chichi shouted, slamming the phone on the receiver. "I'm just dissatisfied with how this country is run! All this _work_ is driving me crazy!"

"Er… maybe being president isn't such a good idea?"

Chichi paused. "You know what? You're right!"

Goku blinked. "I am?"

"Yes!" Chichi looked at him fiercely. "Being president is too small! I should be king instead!"

"King?!"

"Yes King!" Chichi nodded. "Being a king means everyone has to listen to you whether they want to or not. Go back to the fish and get him to make me king!"

"But we already have a king! King Furry!" Goku shook his head. "Shenron won't do it! We've already asked him for too much!"

"He's done it all easily so far! It'll be easy for him!" Chichi pointed at Goku and suddenly all the security guards were around him. "You'll do it because I am president and you have to listen to the president. And even if I weren't president, I'm still your wife! Now get going!"

 _The fisherman was ushered not so pleasantly out of the castle. He was quite frightened of his wife at this point. This was so out of character for her. He knew that this wouldn't end well, but what could he do? He made his way back to the ocean. When he came to the sea, he found it black and heaving in great waves. The wind blew so fiercely that the surface foamed into great white troughs. Nevertheless, the fisherman stood firm on the beach and called out over the waves._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;  
My wife is president and she makes the rule,  
She wants something else and I feel like a fool."

This time, Shenron burst from the heaving waves in a mighty spurt, throwing water high into the air.

"FISHERMAN GOKU! WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME?!"

"I'm sorry Shenron." Goku said. "Chichi sent me again. She's tired of being president. She wants to be king now." Shenron gave him a look and Goku sighed. "I know, right? It's getting ridiculous."

Shenron's eyes glowed a dangerous red. "HER WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED, BUT BE WARNED. NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM GREED."

"Preaching to the choir buddy." Goku muttered.

 _The fisherman went back home to find the castle gone. In its place stood a grand palace made entirely of polished marble with grand alabaster sculptures and golden decorations. Soldiers marched up and down before the doors, blowing on trumpets and beating drums. Inside, lines of dukes and princes stood waiting for an audience with the king. The grand golden doors to the throne room were wide open. On a throne made of gold and diamonds his wife sat tall with a golden crown on her head and the royal scepter in her hand. All around her stood her ladies in waiting and secret servicemen._

Goku stood before the throne and swallowed nervously. "Chichi, are you king now?"

"Yes." Chichi said imperiously. "I am king."

"That's great." Goku said with an uneasy grin. "This means you won't want to be anything else, right?"

"No Goku." Chichi answered with a heavy sigh. "Being king is good, but everyone wants to see you. It would be better to be Kami instead of being the king myself."

"Kami?!"

"Yes. Now that I am king, I want to be Kami!" Chichi said. "Go right back to that fish and tell him to make me Kami!"

"No Chichi!" Goku frowned deeply at his wife. "This has gone too far! I won't go to Shenron and ask him to make you guardian over earth!"

"Goku, I am your king! You have no choice! I _command_ you to go back to the dragonfish and make me Kami!"

"I won't!"

"Do it or I'll take away your food," Chichi glared at him, "for a month."

Goku paled. "I'll go hunting. I don't need to eat in the kitchen."

"Oh, but where will you hunt?" Chichi smiled patronizingly. "I am king. I rule over all the forests. You won't be allowed to hunt where I rule."

 _There was little more he could do than go back to the dragonfish. Part of him cursed having such a big appetite, but what else could he do? He went back to the ocean slowly. As he walked, he noticed how the wind blew fiercer and fiercer. Leaves fell from the trees; clouds practically flew across the sky to congregate over the sea. There they darkened and turned nearly black. The ocean itself was dark and it foamed and crashed almost angrily upon the shore. In the distance, ships on the ocean fired out distress signals as they too were tossed crazily about._

 _There was still a little patch of blue in the sky, but other than that the clouds were dark and foreboding. Like a storm was brewing overhead. In despair, he looked out across the sea and spoke._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;  
Chichi wants more; she wants to be Kami,  
Guardian over earth, best at origami."

Shenron burst from the heaving sea with a roar.

"NOW WHAT DOES SHE…" The dragonfish paused. "ORIGAMI?"

Goku shrugged. "I'm not good at rhymes."

Shenron sighed heavily. "WHAT IS YOUR REQUEST?"

"Chichi wants to be Kami now." Goku shivered. "I'm afraid she's gone out of her mind."

"REGARDLESS. RETURN HOME. KAMI SHE IS." And the fish swam away.

 _The fisherman went back to the palace, but was shocked once more to see nothing. Rather, a hefty pole stuck out of the ground in the exact spot where the palace used to be. Made of the purest white marble, it stretched high into the sky. Higher than the eye could see. The fisherman sighed and started climbing. It took him a very long time to reach the top. But when he did, he saw a lush garden surrounding a pure white palace. He went inside and found his wife all alone, surrounded by candles and incense. She was robed in white and sat on a lofty throne made of the same shimmering white alabaster the entire place seemed to be made of._

"Chichi?" Goku asked nervously. "Are you Kami now?"

"Yes Goku. I am Kami." Chichi said.

He looked at her and had to squint. Everything was so white that it was hard to look at. He stood there in awkward silence for a good while.

Finally he spoke again. "So… are you happy being Kami?"

Chichi didn't answer him. She just sat ramrod straight on her blindingly white throne.

Goku frowned worriedly. "Please say yes. You can go no higher than Kami of Earth."

"Hmmmph." Chichi scoffed. "We'll see about that."

 _They went to bed that night with heavy hearts. The fisherman, for the fact that he would never have his wife back, and his wife, for the fact that she could go no higher. However, troubled as he was, the fisherman slept very well that night. He had gone a long distance and climbed the highest tower in the world. He was worn out._

 _His wife, on the other hand, didn't sleep at all so eaten up was she other the fact that there wasn't anything higher she could demand. But then, when the dawn broke over the horizon and light burst into the blindingly white palace, she was struck with inspiration._

Chichi sat straight up in bed. "That's it! Couldn't I be the one to make suns and moons and planets myself? I can't be happy with just guarding a planet. I want to make one!" She shoved an elbow into Goku. "Goku! Go back to the fish and get him to make me a Kai!"

Goku was only half asleep when he heard her, but he was so shocked that he fell out of bed and hit the floor with a thump. "Huh?! What did you say?!"

"Goku, if I can't be a Kai and make the sun rise and planets form, I won't be able to bear it." Chichi said with a crazed gleam in her eye. "I will never have another happy moment as long as I live if you don't do this for me."

She looked at him so wildly that Goku felt a shudder run through him from head to toe. "Chichi! Do you know what you are asking?! Shenron can't do that! King and Kami he can do, but a Kai? Are you even listening to yourself?!" Goku got to his knees before her, pleading from the edge of the bed. "Please control yourself Chi. Just stay Kami and learn to be happy with what you've got."

There was a moment of silence.

Suddenly, Chichi screamed. She howled and cursed and threw anything and everything that came to hand. She went after Goku, threatening him and trying to beat him horribly.

"DO IT! I CAN'T BEAR IT ANY LONGER! I WILL BE A KAI! A _SUPREME_ KAI! GO NOW!"

 _It was a good thing that the fisherman was nimble and good at martial arts. He evaded his insane wife and leapt from the tower in his pajamas. There'd be no living with her after this. He was so sad and terrified of his wife, but frankly glad to get away from her._

 _He made his way to the sea. As he went, such a storm blew in that he had to fight the wind to keep his feet on the ground. The sky was black as pitch. Houses and trees trembled. The very earth shook under his feet. When he reached the ocean, the waves were so black and angry and high, it was as if he was looking at the end of the world. Still, he called out as best he could, though his words were carried away by the wind._

"Oh mighty Shenron beneath the sea,  
I summon you forth, please listen to me;  
This is it, I swear I'm done,  
I hope to Kami that it's the last one!"

Shenron appeared from within the waves, voice booming over the wind and turmoil the world felt.

"FISHERMAN GOKU. YOU HAVE RETURNED."

"Shenron!" Goku shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to be heard over the storm. "Please tell me it can't be done! Please tell me Chichi won't get her wish!"

"WHAT IS HER REQUEST?"

Goku swallowed his fear. "She wants to be a Kai! _Supreme_ Kai!"

Suddenly, the world went very quiet. The waves calmed, the wind died, the skies cleared, and the dragonfish smiled.

"THAT I CANNOT DO. NOW SHE MUST RETURN TO HER HUT BY THE SEA."

Goku sagged in obvious relief. "Thank Kami."

"IF SHE COMPLAINS, BRING HER TO ME." Shenron showed his teeth. "I WILL EAT HER FOR YOU, IF GREEDY SHE BE."

Goku beamed at Shenron. "Hey! You can rhyme too!"

 _And they lived in that hut to this very day._

 ** _THE END_**


	8. The Fool and the Flying Ship

**The Fool of the World and the Flying Ship**  
Based on the Russian fairytale and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Krillin, Android 18, Dr. Gero, Android 17, Goku, Vegeta, Tien, Yamucha, Piccolo, Master Roshi, and Popo

 _ **A humorous Krillin/Eighteen fic.  
**_

* * *

Once upon a time, in a monastery high in the mountains of the eastern wilderness, there lived a group of monks dedicated to martial arts. There were dozens of monks at the monastery. Some of them masters, all of them students of the great kung fu lifestyle. As it was, there among the monks was a young monk who was kind and never did anyone any harm. He was strong and took to martial arts like a duck to water. There was only one problem.

He was the smallest monk. Ever.

Short even as a child, he never broke the 5 foot barrier. On top of that, his face lacked an essential feature. A nose. Short and no nose. This made him the target for disdain, condescending glares, and ignorance. Even though he was very skilled despite his height, he was perceived as weak. The other monks mistreated and picked on him quite harshly.

It always seems to happen like that. The youngest or the smallest receives the harshest treatment. However, this is a story that shows that God loves and cares for those people and turns things to their advantage in the end.

Now it happened that the Tsar of that country sent messengers out to every part of the world, even to a great city like ours, to say that he would give his daughter, the princess, in marriage to anyone who could bring him a flying ship. Yes, a ship with wings that could sail this way and that through the blue sky as easily as another ship could sail on the ocean.

"Well. This is certainly exciting." Said the wizened old head monk as all the younger monks practically burbled over with excitement. "Would anyone like to go and take the Tsar up on his offer?"

"But master," one young monk said, "isn't it impossible to build such a boat?"

The old monk smiled in a grandfatherly sort of way. "Nothing is truly impossible."

"But what about getting married? Aren't monks not allowed to…"

"To achieve mastery in martial arts is to gain mastery over yourself. If you so choose to obtain this mastery here, then we will assist you." The old monk smiled cheekily. "And if you choose to find mastery over yourself with a wife, then you will have to find out how she does it."

The monks laughed and continued chattering animatedly. In the end, most of the monks deigned to stay and train with the monastery. However, there were indeed a few who wanted to go out into the world to try to find/build this amazing ship for the Tsar. Being thought of as strong, brave, and intelligent, they were blessed by the monastery. They were given gifts of fresh fine clothing, backpacks full of tender cooked meats, soft white rolls of bread, and bottles of fine vodka for their journey.

Before the choice few monks left, they were given a great ceremony and sent off by the head monk himself. They were reminded to think of the monastery once they had become royalty. Together, the group set off merrily on their adventure, confident in their kung-fu and cleverness.

And what eventually happened to them? I don't know, for they were never heard from again.

Krillin, the littlest monk, watched this all with wide eyes. He had longed to get away from the monastery and learn from another master, but never had the opportunity. Orphan that he was, the monastery and poor treatment was all he had known. He had nothing to his name and nowhere to go. Perhaps this was a chance to leave and make a better life?

After the pomp and ceremony had finished and the monks were again going about their daily training, Krillin approached the head monk.

"Master," he bowed before the old man, "I would like to go as well."

"You want to go out into the world?" The head monk looked down his nose at the short man.

"Yes master." Krillin said, swallowing nervously. "I believe my training would be greatly benefited by learning from other masters."

"The prospect of a princess does not interest you?"

Krillin blushed lightly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah… w-well I'd like that, but I'm sure that focusing on my training is more important."

"Ha! As if the princess would like a bald, nose-less midget!" A fellow monk called out maliciously behind him.

The head monk didn't say a word. Krillin felt the back of his neck burn as a rush of anger flooded his body. He took a few calming breaths, bringing his feelings under reign before looking the head monk dead in the eye. "Master, I would like to go out and seek my fortune."

"Oh Krillin." The master said with something akin to pity in his gaze. "You are too ill equipped to go out on your own. Why, if you were to leave the monastery you would be eaten immediately by a bear."

Krillin gave him a very skeptical look. "A bear? Seriously?"

"Or wolves." Said the old monk. "Wolves would tear your little body to pieces."

Krillin groaned mentally. That was ridiculous. "Please master." He said aloud. "Let me go and try to build a ship for the Tsar."

"I'll consider it."

For the next few days, Krillin would not stop badgering the head monk to let him go. The sun would rise and Krillin would pester. The sun would set and Krillin would beg. His voice was incessant. Soon the other monks voiced their complaints to the head monk.

"Just let the midget go!"

"My ears are bleeding from his whiny voice!"

"Kick him out! He's not doing us much good anyway!"

Finally, between the nagging of Krillin and the complaints of the other monks, the old master finally agreed to let Krillin go. He was actually quite glad to be rid of him.

Krillin received the news with great jubilation. But his exclamations of thankfulness and cheer were stopped as he was turned out of the monastery immediately afterwards.

"Hold on just a sec!" Krillin was practically shoved out of the front gate. "Aren't you supposed to give me provisions for the journey?"

The old monk muttered irritably under his breath and went back to the kitchens. He threw a bottle of water into an old rucksack along with a blackened crust of old dry bread. When he went back to Krillin, he didn't call his fellow monks to see him off. He simply chucked the sack at the small monk before stomping back into the temple to see to more important business.

Krillin gaped at the empty gate for a minute before checking his meager provisions. He sighed. "At least they gave me this much." He slung the sack over his shoulder and started walking. As he went, he brightened. "You know what? It doesn't matter! I'm finally out of that place and off to find my destiny!" Sure he would've liked good food and nice clothes, but the main thing on a journey is to think positive! So he trekked merrily along the road, whistling a jaunty tune as he went.

He had not gone very far, actually just around the bend, when he came upon a curious looking man. Dark skinned and rosy lipped, he sat on a carpet on the edge of the road. A turban sat on his head and he wore a red vest with puffy white pants.

"Hello there." The man said. "Do you happen to have anything to share with a poor genie down on his luck?"

Krillin blinked at the man. "You're a genie?"

"Yes Mr. Krillin." He stood from his carpet and bowed. "I am Popo. Servant of Kami."

"Oh. Nice to meet you Mr. Popo."

"Now, where are you going so far from your monastery?"

Krillin snorted. "Forget that place. I'm headed to seek a new master. If I can't do that, I'll try to find or build a flying ship for the Tsar. He said he'd give his daughter to anyone who can give him one."

"How are you going to do that?"

The little monk shrugged. "Kami knows. Either way it'll be an adventure on my own terms."

Popo smiled. "In that case, why don't you take a moment and rest with me? Take some food out of your bag and we'll have a meal together."

"Oh, uh…" Krillin looked away, slightly shamed of his poor rations. "Mr. Popo, I'm afraid I don't have anything good enough to give you. I mean…"

Popo lifted a hand, silencing him. "If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. Come; let me see how the monks have blessed you for this journey."

Sighing, Krillin brought forth his pack and opened it. He reached in to pull out the dry crusts of bread and gasped. It didn't feel like scraps from the kitchen! His eyes went wide as he pulled out soft white rolls and tender cooked meats. He set them on the carpet and went to pull out the bottle of water. As he did so, he noticed that it was much heavier than before. Curious, he popped the top open and smelled it.

Vodka!

Krillin's eyes were round in amazement. The genie on the other hand, smiled pleasantly.

"How…"

"Even though your monks do not love you like family, you have not gone without your share of good things." Popo waved at the spread. "Because you stopped to share with those without, it's only natural that you be blessed."

So together, they dug in to the meal. They ate and drank and told jokes and stories. They even sang a song or two. All in all they made merry. When all had been eaten, Popo turned to Krillin with a kindly smile.

"Listen to me. You've done me a great service today so I wish pay you back in kind. As soon as I leave, go into the forest west of here. Go up to the first big tree you see and etch into its bark the shape of seven circles. Strike it with your strongest blow and fall back away from it. Lie there, full out on your back, with your eyes closed until someone wakes you. Then you will find the ship made and ready to fly. Sit down in it and go to the Tsar or wherever else you'd like to go. The only thing is, be sure to offer a ride to anyone you find along the way."

Krillin blinked, a little bewildered by the bizarre instructions, but nodded obediently. Then, on a ripple of wind, the carpet lifted into the air. He was astounded, but nonetheless waved farewell to Popo as he flew off into the sky.

"Guess he really was a genie." Krillin mused to himself. "I really should've gone adventuring a long time ago." And off he went into the western wood. He walked for a while until he came to the biggest tree he could find. Setting to work, he found a sharp rock and etched seven circles into the tough bark of the tree. Then, mustering his energy, he lashed out with his strongest attack. As the tree began to fall, Krillin fell back as well. Both the tree and the monk fell with a crash to the forest floor.

Krillin stared up at the blue sky and treetops. "This feels ridiculous." He muttered, but obeyed the genie's directions. Time passed, the forest quiet but for the birdsong in the trees. Peaceful warm breezes caressed the land and slowly Krillin's eyelids grew heavy. He finally fell asleep there on the plush forest floor.

Hours later, Krillin was roused from sleep by the distinct feeling that someone was jostling his elbow. He sat up and yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

And his jaw dropped.

In the exact spot where the tree had fallen floated a beautiful boat the likes of which he'd never seen before. It wasn't a very large boat, but it had a great mast that held up a billowing sail. There was a tiller and comfortable seats for people, but the best part was the dragon figurehead. In fact, the dragon design wrapped around the ship to look as if the dragon was carrying the boat itself! Intricately carved and inexplicably floating in midair, it was like a dream.

"Wow." Breathed Krillin. He looked around. There was no sign of anyone around. In fact, the entire tree was gone! The only evidence that there had even been one was the stump left over.

Krillin immediately went to the boat and jumped aboard. It didn't even flinch under his weight. He looked at the rigging and scratched his head. He didn't know a thing about sailing. How was he supposed to captain a ship that flew when he couldn't even sail a rowboat? But then, as if the boat heard his thoughts, it effortlessly lifted off and soared high above the trees.

"Sweet!" He almost couldn't believe it. "I've got a flying ship! Time to go see the Tsar!" Was he actually going to get married to a princess? Then he paused. "But how do I get there when I'm this high?" Truly all he could see now were clouds. He nodded to himself and grabbed the tiller. Best to go down and stick to the road. He'd be at the palace in no time.

He steered the little boat down and down until he came to the road that he'd been following prior to going into the woods. He flew above it, knowing he'd lose his way if he sailed over open country. He kept a fair enough distance above the road so as not to smack into the heads of anyone beneath him.

Krillin sailed the flying ship for a good while until he came upon an unusual sight. There was a man sitting perfectly still in the middle of the road. That wasn't odd in and of itself, but the man was tall, green and had large pointed ears.

Remembering the genie's instructions, Krillin guided the boat down to hover beside the man.

"Hello there!" Krillin called out.

The man said nothing.

Krillin felt a little uneasy, but cleared his throat and tried again. "Excuse me, but what are you doing down there?"

The green man grunted. "Listening."

"Listening? To what?"

"To the world."

Krillin's eyes widened. "The world? You can seriously hear everything in the world?" The man nodded and he whistled. "Wow. That's impressive." Then he winced. "Bet you heard some stuff you'd rather not hear."

The man grimaced. "You have no idea."

Krillin nodded sympathetically. "Hey, I'm going to see the Tsar. There's plenty of room in the boat, want to come along?"

The green man finally looked up at the flying boat and Krillin. To his credit, all that showed his surprise and awe was the slight widening of his eyes. He stared at the boat for a moment. Then he nodded and jumped aboard.

Krillin watched him land and grinned. "I'm Krillin."

"Piccolo." Said Piccolo.

And off they went.

"You know," Krillin said casually to his guest, "If you want, I could sing to get some of those sounds out of…"

"Don't." Piccolo cut him off. "I recognize your voice. You sound like a dying cat when you sing."

Krillin sighed. "Everyone's a critic."

They flew for a good while in companionable silence until they came upon another odd sight upon the road. There was a man, hopping down the road on one leg with the other tied to his head.

They stared for a while. "That's… unusual."

Piccolo blinked. "That explains the odd thumping noise."

They were both a little weirded out. Nevertheless, Krillin remembered Popo's instructions and lowered the boat to fly alongside the hopping man.

"Uh… hey man." Krillin called over to the unusual person. "What's up?"

"Huh?" The man looked over and squawked in surprise. He promptly lost his footing and tripped. He fell flat on his face on the dirt road.

Krillin winced. "Sorry. You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I've had worse." He looked up at the flying ship sheepishly. "I've just never seen a flying ship before."

"This is the only one as far as I know." Krillin quirked an eyebrow at the man. "Can I ask why you have your leg tied to your head?"

"Training." The man said simply. At the deadpan look Krillin gave him, he blushed slightly and replied. "You see, I have this habit of running away from pretty girls. Cept I run so fast I'm practically in the next country before I realize she just was asking for the time." He gestured to the leg. "So to keep me from doing that, I have to tie myself up like this so it's harder for me to get away."

"You're really that fast?"

"You bet." The man grinned. "But only if a pretty girl is around."

"Huh." Krillin grinned in kind. "Well, we're off to see the Tsar. Wanna come?"

"Sure." He shrugged. "Ain't got nothin' better to do." And he jumped aboard. He was startled as he came face to face with the tall green man.

Krillin watched the sudden fright appear in the man's eyes and he coughed. "I'm Krillin and this is Piccolo."

"Oh." Yamucha stuck out his hand nervously. "I'm Yamucha."

Piccolo ignored it. There was an awkward silence between the two before Yamucha pulled his hand back. Krillin himself laughed nervously and set them on their way.

They flew for about an hour, the tension between the men lessening as Krillin began teasing Yamucha for being afraid of girls. Piccolo even cracked a smile at one point. They had gotten a bit more comfortable with each other when they saw yet another man on the road.

This man was standing off the side of the road, aiming a gun at something none of the passengers of the boat could see. He was shirtless, body obviously built for power, and as bald as Krillin was. Krillin lowered the boat and stopped beside the man.

"Hello there!"

The man looked away at what he'd been sighting and stared at the boat. In the center of his forehead was a third eye. The man was amazed at the ship. "Woah. A flying boat. That's not something you see every day."

"Woah!" Krillin took an unconscious step back. "You've got a third eye!"

The man rolled all three eyes. "Thanks for telling me." He turned back to sighting along the barrel of his rifle.

"Sorry, I've just never…" Krillin trailed off. "What are you aiming at?"

"There's a rare bird about a thousand miles out." The man grunted. "If I can just wait till he settles in his nest…"

"A thousand miles!?" Krillin's jaw dropped. "That's incredible!"

"What can I say? I have great eyesight." And he fired the gun. He stared in that direction before turning to Krillin. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"Well, we're going to see the Tsar." Krillin squinted in the direction the man had been looking. "A thousand miles is a long way to walk. Need a ride?"

The man shouldered his gun and smiled. "I'd appreciate it." And jumped aboard.

He quickly met Yamucha who was relieved to have a slightly more normal looking companion. The man made no comments about the leg tied to Yamucha's head, but he looked at Piccolo and said, "Nice ears."

"Nice eyes." Piccolo countered.

"You got a name?"

"Piccolo."

The man grinned. "Tien."

"And I'm Krillin." Said Krillin, hauling on the tiller. "Let's go!"

They quickly got to know Tien. While rather serious, he poked fun at Krillin and Yamucha and soon the whole boat, barring Piccolo who just smirked, was laughing quietly. They flew for many miles until on a whim he looked down and saw another man on the road. Krillin almost didn't think about it as they swooped down next to him.

The man wasn't as strange as the other companions had been, but he had black spiky hair and a huge sack full of bread on his back.

"Hey there!" Krillin called out to him.

The man turned and beamed brightly. "Hello!" He called back in a chipper voice. "Nice boat!"

Krillin decided that he instantly liked him. "Where are you headed?"

"I'm going into town to buy food for supper!" The man said.

Krillin was confused. "But you have that huge sack of bread on your back. Why don't you just eat that?"

"Are you kidding? That little mouthful is barely enough for a snack!" The man sighed. "I don't think I'm gonna make it to town before I get hungry again." He gave Krillin a rueful look. "My wife said I have the biggest appetite she's ever seen. She's probably real mad that I emptied out the fridge again."

Krillin chuckled, finding it a little hard to believe. "Well, we're going to see the Tsar. Why don't you hop aboard and we'll give you a lift to town? It's way faster than walking."

The man's face split into a wide smile. "Really? That's great! Thanks!" And he jumped aboard.

Introductions were made. The man wasn't even the slightest bit weirded out by anyone. In fact, he looked particularly excited to learn that the men had such incredible talents. He dropped his bag of bread on the deck and proceeded to devour every crumb in the sack.

"So uh…" Krillin tried not to feel grossed out by was the man was pigging out on bread. "… What's your name?"

"Oh." The man swallowed and grinned sheepishly. "I'm Goku. Nice to meetcha."

Yamucha watched Goku eat with amazement. "How are you not morbidly obese from eating that much?"

"I exercise a lot." Goku said with a smile. Then he dove back into his snack as the boat lifted up and started back on its journey.

The four companions only became merrier as they went along. Goku certainly made them laugh and joke more than they had before. He even instantly warmed to Piccolo and got the sober man to talk some. They were becoming better acquainted when another figure on the road caught Krillin's eye.

A man stood beside a lake, glaring angrily out over the waters as though its very existence insulted him. He was muscular, short, though not as short as Krillin, and had black hair that spiked up in a flame. As before, Krillin guided the boat down to greet him.

"Hello!"

The man stiffened and turned sharply. He took in Krillin and the flying boat with a sneer. "What?!" He said bad-temperedly.

Krillin was taken aback slightly. "Tou-chy." He muttered. Then he said, "What are you doing out here?"

"It is none of your business, fool!" The man said angrily. Then he seemed to reconsider. "But if you _must_ know, I am searching for a drink."

"A drink?" Krillin gestured to the lake in front of them. "But there's a huge lake right in front of you! Why not take a drink from that?"

The man scowled at Krillin. "You dare to believe that this mere drop of water would satisfy me?!" He motioned angrily at the lake. "This is barely enough to wet the back of my throat even if I drink it all at once!"

"Woah. You must be really thirsty." Krillin shrugged. "We're off to see the Tsar, but you can come along if you want. We'll probably pass a few more lakes or something."

"The Tsar?" The man smirked again and Krillin felt a shiver run down his spine. He nodded and jumped aboard. "I accept your offer. I shall pay a visit to this 'mighty' ruler. You should feel honored to escort…"

"Who're you?" Tien interrupted.

The man glared imperiously at Tien. "I am Vegeta! Prince of all…"

"Woah you're a prince?" Goku interrupted, spraying crumbs from the last loaf of bread all over Vegeta's face. "That's so cool!"

Vegeta went absolutely quiet for a minute. When he spoke, his voice was an angry growl. "How _dare_ you!" Then he launched himself at Goku and they started fighting right there on the deck of the small ship.

Yamucha leaned over to Krillin. "That went well."

Krillin sighed heavily and set the boat back to sailing. Luckily, the two men were broken up by the other passengers aboard. Vegeta was standoffish, but the more that they joked and talked, they eventually pulled him into conversations. He sat beside Piccolo and for some reason got along well with the tall green man. When they finally got around to playing stupid games for fun, he was immediately ready to compete against Goku.

The journey stretched into the afternoon. Krillin was enjoying the good company and fresh air when he spotted another person on the road. He swooped down and was surprised to see a stooped little old man carrying an overly large fan on his back.

"Excuse me sir, but would you like a lift?"

The old man looked up at the ship. Sunlight glinted off his sunglasses as his eyebrows went up. "A flying ship. Wonders will never cease." He wore a Hawaiian shirt and a rather large turtle shell on his back. A long white beard and mustache completed his look. "Where are you headed young man?"

"To see the Tsar." Krillin thumbed over his shoulder. "We've got some passengers on here already, but I'm sure we've got room for one more."

"The Tsar eh?" The man gave a very perverted leer. "He's got that pretty daughter of his right?" He rubbed his hands together excitedly. "What I wouldn't give to set eyes on that beauty! Heh heh!" He looked up at Krillin and nodded. "Alrighty! I'll come along."

As he jumped aboard with surprising strength and agility, Krillin couldn't help but wonder about the item he carried. "Sir, what's that on your back?"

"This? Why, this is the bansho fan." The old man said. "It's powerful enough to blow out the strongest fire. One wave, it blows a mighty wind. Two waves, a storm. Three, a blizzard." He shrugged. "I heard that a village south of here needed some rain and I was headed that way to help."

"What is your name?"

"I'm Master Roshi. Teacher of the Kame school of martial arts."

Immediately there was a huge scramble to meet the old man. Master Roshi was one of the most famous masters in the world. Tien, Yamucha, Krillin, and Goku all wanted lessons from the revered old man. Vegeta and Piccolo however, merely scoffed and waited until the scuffle calmed down.

And so they went on their way. They didn't meet anyone else along the road, but that was just fine. The boat was almost crowded with the seven companions. Krillin chatted and laughed with all of them, happier than he'd ever been in his life. Sure they made height jokes, but they also made fun of Vegeta's height and he looked ready to stab someone with a rusty spoon. They teased Krillin's nose-less-ness, but also Tien's third eye and Piccolo's ears. And everyone picked on Yamucha for being afraid of girls and Goku for being a glutton. The teasing was all good-natured and fun. Never before had Krillin felt such acceptance from anyone. He just couldn't keep the beaming smile off his face.

Eventually they sailed far enough over the land that they came to the palace of the Tsar. They flew down and hovered in the courtyard right outside the main doors.

"Do we have an anchor?" Krillin looked around.

Vegeta scoffed. "Just tie a rope around Kakkarot and drop him. It would work the same."

Goku let out an indignant squawk. "Hey!"

"Nevermind." Krillin sighed. "I guess we just wait here until someone shows up."

Meanwhile, sitting in the royal palace, Tsar Gero sat eating his dinner peacefully. He heard a racket from across the table and was angered to realize that one of the robotic servants was speaking to him.

"My Tsar! There's a…"

"SILENCE! You should know better than to address me directly!" He spat at the unfortunate servant.

The robot continued. "But your majesty…"

"I SAID SILENCE!" The servant went silent. Tsar Gero sneered at what he perceived a waste of good technology. "I will _not_ be disturbed during my meal!"

The robot servant then pointed to the open window. Tsar Gero glowered angrily before rising, dealing a swift backhand to the servant, and walking to the window to see what was going on. He looked down into the courtyard and sucked in a sharp breath of air.

"A ship?!" He noticed it did not rest on the ground and his eyes widened. "A _flying_ ship?!" He whirled on the poor servant. "What are you still _doing_ here!? Go now and find out what great prince has brought me so fine a treasure! He can have my daughter, but _I want that ship_!"

The robot servant hurried down to the courtyard. He peeked through the open door and saw not a prince, but Krillin and his companions sitting around cracking jokes. The robot beeped a few times, then turned on his wheel and went back to the Tsar.

"My Tsar!" The robot said. "There is no prince aboard that ship. It is filled with moujiks!"

"Moujiks? Simple peasants?!" Tsar Gero was furious. "How did such dirty peasants get their hands on a ship like that?! It's maddening!" He paced the room. "No! I will not give them any reward for this! I will simply take the ship and force them away!"

Then he paused. "But if I do that, then my intricately made false reputation as a good ruler will crumble. No. I must trick them out of it. I will give them tasks that they won't be able to perform and they'll be glad to get out with their lives. I will get this ship for nothing!"

He turned again to the servant robot with a smile. "Here's what you must do. Go and tell them that they must bring me some of the magical water that increases a fighter's power tenfold before I am finished with my dinner."

And the robot went off to meet the ship and its occupants.

Now while the evil Tsar was giving the orders to his servant, Piccolo, with his magnificent hearing, was listening to everything that he was planning.

"Krillin." Piccolo interrupted the monk's jokes gravely. "The Tsar knows you aren't a prince. He is refusing to give you a reward."

The monk gaped. "Are you serious?"

"He plans to take the ship for himself if you cannot complete the tasks he sets before you." Piccolo scowled. "He called us all dirty moujiks. Even now he is sending a servant to order you to get the magical water that increases a man's strength tenfold before he finishes dinner or else your life is forfeit."

"What a jerk!" Yamucha cried.

"That's not very nice!" Goku agreed.

"He called us _peasants_?!" Vegeta took offense. "I'll _kill_ him!"

"Guys, what am I going to do?" Krillin said. "If I had a whole year, heck even if I had a whole _century_ I wouldn't be able to find that water. Much less bring it back before the Tsar finishes supper."

"Don't worry young Krillin." Master Roshi came to stand next to the monk. "We'll figure something out."

"Yeah." Goku nodded. "I mean, the water of super strength is only the next country away at Korin's tower. We'll find a way to get it for you."

There was a pause.

"Goku, you know where the water is?"

"Sure I do." Goku nodded. "I got to taste it when I was a kid." He shrugged. "It tasted like plain old water to me. I don't know what all the fuss is about."

Krillin was cheered a bit, but said, "Even if we know where it is, I doubt we can get it before he's done eating."

Now it was Yamucha's turn to grin. "Leave that to me." He said and started untying his leg from his head.

Krillin thought about that for a moment. Even if what Yamucha claimed about his speed was true, they didn't have a pretty girl handy to make him go that fast. At that moment, the little robot servant arrived and announced the Tsar's command.

"Tell him he shall have it." Krillin said to the robot. "Oh, and before you go, do you happen to have a picture of the princess?"

The robot beeped. Then it printed out a picture of the princess for Krillin. The young monk looked at the picture and blushed. Blond hair, pale blue eyes, she was gorgeous. She wasn't smiling in the picture, but Krillin was sure that if she did, she would be even more beautiful. The image would certainly work to startle Yamucha into motion.

Yamucha, meanwhile, was shaking out the tingles from his leg and doing light stretches. Krillin approached him casually. "You ready to go?"

"Almost." Yamucha grinned. "I mean, there aren't any pretty girls around, but I'll do my best."

"What do you mean?" Krillin pointed behind Yamucha. "There's a girl right behind you."

Yamucha stiffened and whirled around. When there was no pretty girl, he sighed in irritation. Turning he said "Krillin, there's no one…" but trailed off at the picture shoved suddenly in his face. He took in the pretty blue eyes and turned a vibrant shade of red.

"Hey! Is that a picture of the princess?" Master Roshi was suddenly grabbing for the photo. "Let me see!" He snatched the picture out of Krillin's hands and gazed at it. "She sure is a looker! Heh heh!"

"Master! Give that back!" Krillin scrambled for the picture. "Yamucha can't run without…" He looked around. "Wait… where _is_ Yamucha?"

The man had disappeared. The companions looked out over the horizon to see a cloud of dust rising from where the speeding man had gone.

Faster than words can describe, Yamucha had reached Korin's tower and had some of the famed water in a bottle.

"Oh man… oh man oh man I did it!" Yamucha panted triumphantly. He looked at his watch and grinned. "And it's only been a few minutes! Boy is Krillin gonna be happy." He yawned widely and stretched his arms. "I bet I could even take a quick nap and still get back in no time." So he settled down under a tree and went to sleep.

Time passed in a leisurely way. However, the royal dinner was coming to an end and there was still no sign of Yamucha. The companions waited in tense silence. Neither songs nor jokes cracked on the flying ship. A mood of anxiety settled over everyone as they waited for the fleet-footed man to return.

"He's not gonna make it is he?"

Tien looked over a Krillin with an uneasy smile. "He may be a bit of a wimp, but he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to bail on you like that."

Piccolo snorted. "From the sounds of it, he's taking a nap."

Krillin's jaw dropped. "A nap?! Who takes a nap in the middle of a crisis?!"

"Weakling." Vegeta muttered.

"I can hear him snoring." Piccolo said. "There's a cicada buzzing on the tree right beside him."

Goku scratched his head. "How're we gonna wake him up?"

Tien sighed and hefted his gun to his shoulder. "Don't worry, I got this." He carefully aimed at the cicada on the tree, but then he stopped. "Krillin, could I have the picture of the princess?" The monk had to wrest the picture away from the old master, but he gave him the photo. Carefully, the sharp eyed man put the image inside a hollow bullet and re-loaded his gun. Then he aimed once more at the cicada. He fired the gun with a sharp crack and nailed the cicada with a loud smack.

Yamucha was instantly startled awake. "Who?! What?! Where?!" He was bewildered to see a piece of paper flutter down from above him. The shell of the bullet had popped open and the picture fell out. He saw the photo of the pretty girl that had startled him earlier and immediately took off, running as if his life depended on it. He was back at the boat in minutes. Blushing at the teasing from the other companions, he handed the bottle of water to Krillin, who in turn handed it to the servant who took it to the Tsar.

"SHENANIGANS AND MALARKY!" The Tsar cried angrily as he saw the bottle of water. It was stamped with Korin's special seal to show its authenticity. He hadn't left the table yet, so technically his orders were still properly carried out. "That was supposed to be impossible to do!"

After raging for a solid five minutes, the Tsar calmed enough to think. "There's nothing for it! I must think of something harder for them to do." He turned to his servant with a smirk. "Tell the captain that if he's so cunning to get the water, he must have quite the appetite. Tell him he must eat at a single meal twelve oxen roasted whole and as much bread as can be baked in forty ovens!" He snickered as the servant left to deliver the news. "No one, companions or not, is able to eat that much and not throw it back up."

Meanwhile, the companions were laughing in relief. That was a close one. They picked on Yamucha mercilessly until Piccolo interrupted them.

"The Tsar has thought up another challenge." And he told Krillin all he had heard.

"Eat all that? Are you kidding me?" Krillin gestured to himself. "I'm a monk! I can go without food for as long as it takes, but I can only manage one loaf of bread at a sitting! How am I going to eat all that food?"

Goku, who had been arm wrestling Vegeta, suddenly perked up. "Food? Did someone say something about food?" In response, his stomach growled long and loud. "I'm starving!"

At that moment, the servant arrived with the next task. He described all the food they were to eat and Goku nearly bounced with anticipation. Krillin glanced at the drooling man behind him and said. "Send it along then. We'll know what to do with it."

So twelve oxen roasted whole and as much bread that could be baked in forty ovens was brought out to the flying ship. It was all piled in the middle of the boat. When all had been brought aboard, the ship was so full that all the companions had to sit on the railings. Everyone aboard had just settled down to eat when Goku, the bottomless pit, set to the meal like he'd been starving for the past year. It was gone in seconds.

"That," said Tien, "had to be the most disgusting minute of my life."

Goku rubbed his rounded stomach and sighed happily. "That was good! They didn't bring out any dessert did they?"

The servant told the Tsar all of what happened. Tsar Gero threw the servant out the window. "CURSES!" Then he hatched a new plan and told another servant to give them the task of drinking forty barrels of wine each holding over forty bucketfuls in one sitting. He figured that they would drown themselves trying to drink it all so quickly.

Piccolo heard it all and relayed it Krillin.

Krillin sighed. "Really? Wine? I can barely manage a single bottle without having to pee." He was about to protest the demand further when Vegeta laughed aloud.

"Finally! This foolish Tsar wishes to pay homage to the mighty Prince of all saiyans!"

There was silence. Vegeta snorted at the stares the others gave him. "You forget that I am thirsty. It will be nothing of a drink for me." He sneered at the castle, as if it was responsible. "However, this measly offering will not make up for the slight against my lineage! He will pay for calling me a moujik!"

Then the servant came and announced the Tsar's command. The forty barrels were rolled out and piled up on the ship. Vegeta scowled at the servants the entire time. When all had been loaded on the ship, he tapped each barrel with a single punch and gulped them down one after another like it was nothing.

The companions watched in awe as the final barrel was emptied and tossed over the side. Vegeta wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked. "He called that a challenge? It was barely enough to sate my thirst."

Goku laughed and thumped the surly man on the back. "Wow! We should have a competition sometime!" He ignored the death glare Vegeta gave him and babbled on about who could eat and drink more.

Meanwhile, the servant who had given the news about the success of the men in the boat to the Tsar was disassembled. Viciously. With a sledgehammer.

"Fine!" Tsar Gero was nearly mad with rage. "If they can manage all that, then I'll just have to make sure they won't survive the next trial! This way they'll be gone and the ship will be mine!" He hit a button and another robot servant came out of a panel that opened in the wall. "Go and tell the captain of the flying ship that he is indeed worthy of my daughter and needs to get ready for the wedding! Tell him that he must bathe in the iron bathhouse around back. But before you do so, let the bathhouse be made so hot that the man will burn to death as soon as he sets foot inside. Make it hotter than the surface of fry-pan plains in midsummer!" He cackled. "There's no way he's getting out of this one!"

As before, Piccolo heard all this and relayed the information, stopping Krillin in the middle of one of his terrible jokes.

Krillin went white. "Well, I'm dead. I'm positive I can't survive that."

"Well now." Master Roshi got to his feet, patting the oversized fan on his back. "You forgot about me. Don't you worry, I'll handle this."

Well, the bathhouse was made red hot. Sure enough, Krillin was called to go bathe himself to get ready for the wedding. Master Roshi went with him. They stood before the iron bathhouse and immediately broke out into a sweat. It was _so_ hot.

Carefully, the old master unstrapped the fan from his back and waved it once as they went inside. A strong with blew through the bathhouse, cooling it down.

Roshi wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Still too hot in here." He waved the fan a second time and immediately clouds formed inside the bathhouse and rain drenched them. Steam filled the room from floor to ceiling from the water hitting the hot iron floor.

Krillin yelled over the din of the rain. "It's still too hot in here!"

"Third time's the charm!" Roshi hollered back. He waved the fan a third time and the rainstorm immediately became a snowstorm. The temperature cooled significantly and Krillin, pleased that the water in the bathhouse was no longer broiling hot, started to wash himself. But the water quickly turned so cold that he barely got clean before it turned to ice.

"M-maybe th-the fan w-was a b-bad idea." Krillin chattered. He had to keep brushing snow off his head and shoulders.

"N-no kidding!" Master Roshi climbed on top of the water heater. "W-we'd best get c-comfortable. Th-they w-won't let us out until m-morning."

Together, they spent the night on top of the heater to keep warm. In the morning, the servants opened the doors to the bath house to find the pair of them alive and well. They reported back to the Tsar.

You can imagine his response.

"OUTRAGE! INFAMY! CURSES AND WHATNOT!" He threw things about in his rage. "Is there no getting rid of these pests?!"

"Father, why are you throwing things around?"

Tsar Gero looked over to see his son and daughter watching him with cold eyes. He scowled at them angrily. "I have not summoned either of you. Return to your quarters immediately!"

Prince Seventeen rolled his eyes. "Sure thing, _Dad._ " He turned to leave and muttered to his sister. "I swear I could make a better Tsar than that old man."

"A dog would make a better Tsar." Princess Eighteen replied before turning and following him. As she did so, she looked out the window and caught sight of the companions in the flying ship. Her eyes landed on Krillin as he sat there, laughing and joking with his friends. She smiled to herself, thinking he was cute.

Tsar Gero watched them go, eyes narrowed. He had to think of something. Maybe he should just have them killed outright. After all, none of the trials seemed to work. Then he snapped his fingers in sudden revelation.

"That's it! I'll challenge him to a contest. A fight with my champions! I'll claim that I must know if he can defend the princess before I marry her off. Then, when he goes to fight, I'll just kill him!" He cackled some more, pleased with his plan. Then he set off to figure out where he put those robot warriors he made a while ago.

Piccolo heard all this and was slightly astonished at the Tsar's audacity. A slow smirk spread across his face. At least it would be a decent challenge. He turned to Krillin and relayed the message before the Tsar's servant arrived.

Krillin sighed in frustration. "All this testing and he still wants me dead? He's bound to have an army of soldiers ready in no time." He turned to his companions with a sad smile. "Guys, these past two days have been the best days of my life. You all have saved me time and time again. Friends like you are more than I could ever ask for, but I'm not willing that any of you should die fighting alongside me."

There was a pause as Krillin's words sunk in. Then everyone aboard the ship burst out in protest.

"We're not letting you get killed!"

"You can't give us a speech like that and then go to your death!"

"You're our friend! We won't let you fight alone!"

"HA! As if he could ever defeat me! I'll show him who's the most powerful!"

"A man as evil as the Tsar won't go down without a fight!"

Piccolo shook his head and grinned at the awestruck little monk. "Face it Krillin. You aren't getting rid of us that easy."

Krillin had to turn away so they wouldn't see him wipe away his tears. "You guys…"

Goku slung an arm around the short man's shoulders. "Aww Krillin! Don't get all sappy before the fight!"

Yamucha ribbed him from the side. "Yeah man. You can count on us!"

At that moment, the servant came out and delivered the Tsar's ultimatum. But before Krillin could say anything in response, the companions shouted out threats and retaliations.

"Tell the Tsar he can stick it where the sun don't shine!"

"We aren't backing down."

"He'd better put out after this one or else!"

"Tell that crook to give us the reward!"

"Tell him if he puts us off again, I'll make war on his country!"

"We'll take the princess by force if we have to! He doesn't deserve a babe like that!"

Krillin shot them all a panicked look as the servant tore back to the palace, fearful for its little robotic life. "You guys are nuts."

Fortunately, the little robotic servant was spared when he told the Tsar ad verbatim the companion's reply. Tsar Gero merely laughed at the threats. He thought that there was no one to defeat his creations. So, puffed up and dressed in his oddly colored finery, he strode out in front of the palace. Behind him followed large robotic soldiers. They practically bulged with muscles and sharp things.

Krillin saw them approach and swallowed. They looked tough. Then he looked back at his friends aboard the ship and his spirits lifted. He wouldn't be facing those robotic soldiers alone. Setting his jaw, he hopped over the side of the boat. The companions quickly followed him as they made their way over to meet the Tsar.

"So, my dear _moujiks_ , if you are able to defeat my warriors, you prove that you are worthy and capable of protecting the princess." Tsar Gero said imperiously.

Vegeta bared his teeth and gave a feral growl. "I'll _kill_ him!"

Tsar Gero sneered at the group. "However, should you fail to defeat them, your pathetic lives are forfeit. Understand?"

Piccolo scowled fiercely. "We understand, but you should likewise be warned."

"We don't intend to lose to the likes of you." Tien said, shouldering his gun.

"So watch out." Goku settled into a fighting stance. "We're going all out."

There was a pause between the two sides. Krillin stood there among his companions and felt his confidence soar. They could do this. They _would_ do this.

And the fighting began.

Each companion entered into a duel with one of the Tsar's fighters. The fighting was fierce, but it was obvious that the ship's companions were winning. Goku and Vegeta tore through their opponents as if they were made of tissue paper. Yamucha practically ran circles around his opponent before dismantling it. Tien fired his gun into the robot's core. Piccolo heard out the robot's weaknesses and exploited them. Master Roshi used the bansho fan to blow his enemy into the next country. Krillin used all the martial arts he had learned, surprising himself with his strength and agility, and defeated his opponent as well.

When the dust settled, the companions stood over their defeated enemies victoriously. And of course, Tsar Gero threw a royal fit.

"How can this be!?" He raged. "You are nothing but dirty _moujiks_! Do you hear me?! NOTHING!" He whipped an odd looking gun out from beneath his robes. "I will NOT give my creations to you! I will take the ship for myself! You will die and I WILL WIN! I WILL NOT LOSE TO YOU!"

"You already lost a long time ago, _Father_." The companions turned to see the prince and princess come out of the palace to confront their Tsar. Krillin blushed as he watched them. The princess was much prettier in person.

Gero pointed the gun at his 'children'. "Get back in the palace at once! OBEY ME!"

Princess Eighteen rolled her eyes. "Ugh. I'm so tired of you ordering us around like this." She looked over at her brother. "What do you think?"

"I wholeheartedly agree." Prince Seventeen strolled casually forward and ripped the gun from Gero's hands. "It's about time for a change in leadership around here."

"WHAT!? I am your TSAR! Your CREATOR! How DARE you talk back to me!" He whipped out a small remote control. "Shoot me and I'll kill the both of you with the bomb I implanted within you while you were asleep!"

The group was stunned. Did the evil deeds of this man know no bounds? Krillin felt anger bubble up inside him. The princess and her brother should not have to pay for their father's terrible issues. Reacting quickly, he darted forward and snatched the remote out of the Tsar's hand. He immediately crushed it under his boot.

Tsar Gero was shocked. "What."

"Nice." And the prince fired the gun. The former Tsar Gero was instantly dissolved in a beam of light so strong, everyone had to look away to keep their eyesight.

And so ended the reign of the evil Tsar Gero. As for Krillin and his companions, they were immediately made welcome guests of the palace. The new Tsar, Tsar Furry, threw out the notion that the princess would have to marry anyone. The kingdom was ushered into a new era of true peace. Not the uneasy false peace of the Tsar before.

The companions made merry, celebrating their victory. Each, barring Piccolo and Vegeta, promised openly to keep in contact with their friends. Then they went their separate ways.

Krillin, however, stayed at the palace longer than he intended and fell hopelessly in love with the princess. The new Tsar liked him very much and insisted that he stay for as long as he liked. He did great services to the kingdom with his strength and good common sense, proving his worth time and time again until all appreciated him. As for the princess, needless to say that she loved the little monk to distraction. After some cute, albeit awkward attempts at proposal, the two were married and lived happily ever after.

THE END


	9. Darling Roland

**Darling Roland**  
Based on the German fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm and DBZ-ified.  
Starring: Bulma, Yamucha, Vegeta, Dr. Gero, Android 16, Raditz, Nappa, Goku

 _ **A hurt/comfort/romantic/humorous Vegeta/Bulma fic.  
**_ **A/N:** I changed the ending a bit BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL SUCKED.

* * *

 ** _Once upon a time…_**

"Confound it Bulma!"

The young lady with blue hair flinched. "I'm sorry Gero…"

"That's DOCTOR Gero to you!" Dr. Gero raved. "How DARE you tamper with my beautiful creation!"

"But he's missing key components!" Bulma protested. "He has no emotions, no sense of right or wrong, _and_ you put a _bomb_ in his chest…"

"Don't question my scientific decisions!" Gero roared back at his young charge. "The reason I took you in off the street was to help my creative genius! Not tamper with and ruin my inventions!"

"He's not ruined! I've fixed him more times than you have! I'm the one who upgraded him too many times to count!" Bulma glared at him. "I'm _way_ more of a genius that you are! You couldn't invent your way out of a cardboard box!"

"Please," Android Sixteen said softly, "do not fight over my design."

Gero stared at him, appalled. "You… you… idiot girl! What have you done to him?!"

"I gave him an emotion chip." Bulma said proudly. "It's so state of the art, it actually evolves when he learns about new…"

"YOU FOOL!" Gero slapped the poor girl across the face. "You thought this foul business would impress me?!" Tears welled up in Bulma's eyes. It just enraged Gero all the more. "Get out of my lab! GET OUT!"

The blue haired genius fled the lab. The big, mohawked android looked distraught and got up to go after her.

"No!" Gero pushed him back down on the examination table angrily. "No, we need to correct what she's done." He opened up the panel in Sixteen's brain and started removing the expertly wired chip. "I swear that girl has done more harm than good ever since I brought her here."

"But, she is kind…"

"She is temperamental, emotional, and an idiot!" Gero snapped. "She disrespects and infuriates me purposefully to no end! She doesn't recognize true genius!"

Android Sixteen's voice became more robotic as the chip was disconnected. "She does have her services."

"Yes yes… cooking and cleaning. But what good is that? She's built bots that do those jobs for her. In her laziness, she has completely erased the need for her services!" Gero pulled out the chip. "The only real reason we keep her around is for the income the government gives us to care for her. The only perk of being a foster parent. Other than that, she has rendered her services obsolete."

"Then what should be done?" All emotion was erased from Sixteen's voice.

Dr. Gero frowned in thought. "She needs to be taken care of. If the government still thinks we are caring for her, we need not worry if she is actually still here." Gero tossed the chip in the incinerator. "Tonight, we shall kill the girl and finally be rid of her."

"Yes Dr. Gero."

"Android Sixteen, you are to watch over her. Do not allow her to leave her room. At the stroke of midnight, when she is asleep, you will cut her head off." Gero said with a maniacal glint in his eye. "I personally can't get my hands dirty. If someone finds out, I can blame it your malfunction."

"Confirmed."

"Good." Gero shut the panel on his head and dismissed him. "Now go! There are things I must do beforehand."

Android Sixteen stiffly got up off the table and left the lab. He promptly made his way to Bulma's room and entered the small room without knocking.

"Ah!" Bulma gasped in fright when the door slammed open. She lifted her head from her desk and tried to scrub away the signs of tears on her face. "Sixteen! I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"You are not to leave this room."

"What?! But that's…" Bulma gave him a hard look. "He removed your emotion chip, didn't he?"

Sixteen's robotic voice answered her. "Affirmative."

"Just when I thought I could have a friend around here…" Bulma sighed. "Permission to reinstall emotion chip?"

"Access denied."

"Oh come _on_ Sixteen!" Bulma exclaimed. "We've had this discussion! That monster just wants to make you into a ruthless killing machine! You're far better off being upgraded to further integrate with human society."

"Confirmed." His face remained stoic. "Access denied. Authorization required."

"That's just great." Bulma grumbled, rubbing the red mark on her face irritably. "Initiate authorization protocol 1685G7."

A light seemed to flicker in the android's pale blue eyes. "Please state voice key."

Bulma reached into the drawer of her small desk and pulled out a device that looked like an oversized microphone. She held it up to her lips and spoke into it.

"Dr. Gero. Authorization X7113." She said in Gero's voice.

"Access granted." The panel in Sixteen's head popped open. He knelt down beside her. "Proceed."

"I hate how he does this to you." Bulma muttered. She reached into the same drawer and pulled out a chip identical to the one Gero incinerated. "You are a marvel of science. One of a kind! It's only fitting that we should seek to improve you."

"Confirmed."

She sighed again. "Hang tight. I have to rewire some things." It took the better part of an hour to fit an identical chip into the android's head. This time it was better hidden in cranial cavity. She tugged off her welding gloves and shut the panel. "Okay, all done. How do you feel?"

"I feel." Sixteen said simply. He smiled at her. "Thank you Bulma."

"No sweat big guy." Bulma said. "I just wish you didn't have to go through that. I swear a box of rocks has more intelligence than that guy does."

"Don't say that." Sixteen moved to sit on the bed. It was the only thing in the room apart from Bulma's desk. The poor bed creaked painfully under his weight. "His intelligence rivals no others."

Bulma looked at the big android and pouted. "What about mine?"

Sixteen grinned. "It does not rival yours as yours is light-years ahead."

"Thanks Sixteen." Bulma giggled, feeling better. "I just wish he would let me use it. I could do so much good for the world!" She paused. "Did you really mean it about not letting me leave my room?"

"I'm afraid so." Sixteen said sadly. "I have orders to kill you."

"Kill me?!" Bulma was shocked. She scrambled away from the big android, pressing up against the wall in fright. "B-but why!?"

"He finds you superfluous."

"B-but you can't! It's wrong to kill!"

"I know. I don't want to kill you."

She rushed to him and grabbed hold of his hand. "Then don't do it! Please don't _do_ this Sixteen! We're friends!"

"I know." Sixteen's face fell in despair. "You've given me choice, emotions, the ability to think for myself. I do not want to do this, but Dr. Gero is my creator. I physically cannot deny his wishes. I'm programmed that way." His sigh sounded like the fizzing of electrical sparks. "Even if I could disobey, he would surely kill you himself. I wish that I had any other choice."

"Oh Sixteen, what am I going to do?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. "I don't want to die! Oh Kami I wish I never had run away from home."

Sixteen didn't move, but his face softened. "What about Yamucha?"

"Yamucha?"

"That male you like." Sixteen said. "The one you see sometimes. He can help you."

"How?" Bulma asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You won't let me out of this room."

"My order is to behead you at the stroke of midnight. Dismantle me and go to him for help before that time."

"B-but Sixteen! If I dismantle you…" Bulma took a shuddering breath. "If I dismantle you, it'll enable that protection program. I don't know the access code for complete disabling. It would activate the anti-theft protocol and erase your data banks." She looked away from him. "You would essentially die."

"You're my friend." He insisted. "You have shown me things I would never have seen or understood about life had you not given me this chip. It is all stored in my memory banks. To protect that, I would give up my body gladly."

"Sixteen…"

"Please do it." He said with a small smile. "If it helps, you can take my memory bank with you and rebuild me when you are safe. The greatest mechanical genius can surely do it."

She laughed a little brokenly. "Yeah, you're totally right. I could rebuild you in a heartbeat." She released him from the hug. "You're going to have to disable yourself then. Enter sleep mode or…" She snapped her fingers. "Can you enter recovery mode? When Gero updates you, most of the functions are turned off until they are fully upgraded. That way I'll have a short amount of time to pull your memory banks before the wipe initiates."

"You have 14.638 seconds before the wipe gets to the long term data storage." Sixteen told her. "Begin as soon as the update protocol commences."

"Right." Bulma went to her desk and pulled out her tools. "I don't have much time then. It's already 8 o'clock and it'll take awhile to permanently dismantle all your systems." She gripped the back of her chair so tight, her knuckles turned white. "Sixteen, I don't want to do this."

"You have to." Sixteen said. "It is the only way."

She hesitated for a long minute. "Alright." She said softly. She pulled on her safety goggles and turned to face Sixteen. "Goodbye Sixteen. I swear I'll rebuild you someday."

"I know you will." Sixteen said with a small smile. He carefully got up from the bed and knelt on the floor next to her cluttered desk. Then his face went blank. "Initiating Update."

Bulma worked fast. Faster than she knew she could. She swiftly cut through Sixteen's skull with her torch, revealing the technology that gave him life. She reached in, heavy work gloves protecting her from the sudden heat of the data wipe, and yanked out his memory bank. A shower of sparks followed her.

"Update canceled." Came the robotic voice. "Rebooting system."

Bulma swore. That reboot was going to reset Sixteen. He'd kill her without any problems now. She brought her torch down and cut through his thick neck. His head hit the ground with a metallic thud.

"Please reconnect cranium." The robotic voice called out. Bulma ignored it and started cutting apart the arms and legs to render the android immobile while she destroyed the systems beyond repair. It was hard work; she had to dodge sparks left and right. It pained her to do this, but she had no other choice.

"Please reconnect cranium." The head said again. She continued ignoring it. The head contained most of the data input. The other systems were in the torso, arms and legs. She'd have to start on the torso to prevent any alarms being set off. Quickly she cut through the chest cavity. She stuck her torch directly into the mess of wiring and circuit boards, careful to avoid the bomb installed there. The metal warped, the plastic bits sizzled and popped, and the wiring fried. As a final measure, she cut through all the connections within the system itself.

"Please reconnect cranium." Bulma was getting irritated at the constant reminder that she was actively destroying her only friend in the house. She continued working on the arms and legs. The systems were easily corrupted and destroyed like in the chest cavity. She melted the connectors just in case Gero wanted to re-use any part she'd accidentally missed.

"Please reconnect…"

"Oh shut up!" She grabbed the mohawked head and thrust it under the mattress. It muffled the noise just enough to appease her. Then she moved to her window and began the laborious process of dumping as much broken machinery as she could out into the yard. The torso casing was far too large, so she wedged it under her desk. It fit, but only barely. It would have to do.

Bulma rushed to her computer and tried to hack the security system so she could escape undetected. Unfortunately Gero had changed the operating system again. He wised up after the fifteenth time she'd destroyed it. Growling, Bulma pulled her safety goggles back down over her eyes and grabbed her torch once more. She pulled a small device out of her desk and used it to find the electrical cables in the wall that spanned the house. The torch cut straight through the steel protecting the cables. She spliced the wires expertly to her little laptop and BAM! The security was hacked to show that both she and the android were still in the room. Had to go right to the source, but it worked! _And_ it was only half past eleven!

She grinned triumphantly. No technology was a match for Bulma Briefs! She quickly did a full wipe of her computer, saving the information she wanted into Sixteen's memory bank. She hurried to her desk, pulled out her personal gadgets, namely her shrinking watch, voice changer, and capsule case and stuck them in the pockets of her jumpsuit. Then, with a final, sad peek at the head beneath the mattress, Bulma left the room. She snuck down the stairs and out the door, being sure not to accidentally trip any alarms Gero had set in and around his house.

When she was far enough away, she broke into a full out sprint. Yamucha lived just inside town, so it didn't take her long at all to reach his house from the outskirts of the nearby forest.

"Yamucha!" She banged desperately on the door. "Yamucha! Please be home!"

"Coming…" She heard a sleepy voice from inside. Yamucha opened the door, only half dressed and sleepy eyed. He looked at her in surprise. "Bulma?"

"Oh Yamucha!" She threw herself at the scarred young man. "Thank Kami you're home!" She cried, bursting into tears that she'd been holding in ever since she left the house.

"Bulma!" Yamucha wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. "What's happened? Are you alright?!"

"No! No I'm not alright!" She babbled tearfully. "Gero… Gero tried to kill me!"

"What?!"

"He ordered Sixteen to kill me tonight!" She cried into his shoulder. "I had to d-dismantle him to g-get away and… and…"

"Shhhh…" Her boyfriend soothed. "You're here now. I won't let him hurt you."

"Oh Yamucha…" They stood on the doorstep, holding each other for a long moment. Then the blue haired genius shook her head. "We can't stay here. When Gero sees what I've done…"

"He won't be able to do anything babe." Yamucha said firmly. "We've got the law on our side. I'll protect you."

"You don't understand." Bulma pulled away from him. "He's got technology. Weapons that no one can compete with…" She shook her head. "We've got to get away from here."

"But how? I haven't got the fastest car in the world and Gero's got so much tech that we don't stand a chance."

Bulma looked worried for all of two seconds. Then her eyes grew hard with determination. "We have to go sabotage his lab."

"Bulma, that's suicide!" He exclaimed.

"It's the only way to ensure that he won't be able to follow us!" Bulma looked at him pleadingly. "Please? I won't be free of him until we're gone from this wretched place."

Yamucha set his jaw. "Fine, but I'm coming with you."

"Thanks." Bulma stood on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss. Yamucha kissed her back. They broke apart and Bulma patted his chest. "Go get dressed. I'll meet you back at Gero's."

She ran back the way she came and Yamucha sighed. "You better know what you're doing…"

Bulma reached the house she just left and shivered. She really didn't want to go back into that horrible house. Gero hated her guts from day one and she couldn't leave. Now thanks to Sixteen…

She shook her head. Time for memories would come later. She crept back into the house and through the dark halls. She reached the lab and entered the pass code. The doors whooshed open and she crept inside, careful to keep herself quiet. As fast as she could, she disabled or just plain broke as many inventions that she could find. She knew that there were some things that Gero kept on his person at all times, but hopefully they could still escape without having to worry about them. She went through his computer as well, erasing blueprints and plans as she went. Bulma knew he planned to do some terrible things, but revive the red-ribbon army? Horrified, she sent a copy of the files to the local police and hurried along in her search to destroy all useful information.

It was into the wee hours of the morning when she finally finished up. Before she left, she swiped two things that she refused to destroy. One was a beautiful hoverbike. They needed a fast getaway vehicle. The other was a camouflage prototype. It could disguise anyone as anything. She put it in one of the capsules she had on hand. She snuck back out, hurrying as fast as she could without alerting the security system.

"Bulma!" A loud whisper called to her. She turned to see Yamucha motion to her from a short way off. She ran to him, embracing and kissing him soundly.

"Let's get out of here." She whispered. Together they ran until they were far enough away to use the hoverbike. Then they rode off into the night.

 ** _The next morning…_**

"Well… Seems Android Sixteen has accomplished his mission." Dr. Gero looked at his tablet screen smugly. "He has not disposed the body yet, but that could just be a programming error. Should install a murder protocol for him to follow…" He muttered to himself as he walked to the room. He opened the door without knocking.

There was no one in the room.

Gero was shocked. "What in the…" No sign of Sixteen. No sign of headless Bulma. Nothing. Angry he stalked over to the window. He observed it irately. "No sign of forced exit." He surveyed the room carefully. "No sign of struggle." He stared at the readout on his tablet and scowled. "She must've hacked the security for this room _again!_ " He angrily started back towards the door when he heard a muffled sound. Curious, he followed it until he was standing at her mattress. He lifted it and pulled out Sixteen's severed head.

"Please reconnect cranium."

Gero's eyes went wide. He darted to the window and threw it open. He looked down and saw the pile of trashed robotics. He swore loudly and lengthily, dashing the head to the floor and stomping on it in a fit of rage.

"How DARE that little WRETCH! When I find her…" He left the room and ran straight to his lab.

Upon seeing the state of his lab; the smoking computer, the wreckage of inventions strewn hither and thither, he called Bulma many nasty names. He lost his mind in his anger. Nothing could ever compare to his rage. In a violent passion, he ran outside and used the technology he kept on him all the time. Namely rocket boots and a laser pistol of amazing killing strength.

"They won't escape me!" He howled. He lifted into the air and shot after Bulma. There was only one road in and out of town. He followed it until he could see Bulma and Yamucha on the motorbike they'd stolen from him.

Bulma was starting to feel finally free of the evil man when she turned and saw him flying towards them. She screamed and Yamucha nearly drove off the road.

"What?! What is it?!"

"It's Gero!" Bulma cried. "He's right behind us!"

"Hang on babe!" Yamucha shouted, pushing the bike to incredibly dangerous speeds. The engine screamed in protest, but they didn't stop to listen. Still the crazed inventor flew closer.

Bulma reached into her pockets, swearing when she realized she didn't grab anything that she could use for defense. In a panic, she pulled out her capsule case and pulled out the first capsule that came to hand. Desperate, she hit the button and hurled it at the closing Dr. Gero.

The man flying behind them didn't have the reflexes required to dodge the capsule. With a loud BOM the capsule opened, dumping a load of frilly under-things right in his face.

"AAAAAACK!" Gero was thrown off as the underwear blinded him. He was entangled almost instantly and lost ground to reorient himself.

Bulma blushed a bright red. How was she to know she had her underwear in that one? Anyway, she was thankful that he wasn't chasing them at the moment. She turned to Yamucha. "Find a place to hide! Now!"

"Where?!"

Bulma pointed to a dense grove of trees. "There!"

They swerved into the grove, but they were going far too fast to do anything but jump from the bike as it careened about crazily. It finally smashed into a tree and exploded.

"Oh my Kami!" Bulma scrambled to her feet. "Yamucha! Are you alright?!"

Yamucha sat on the ground, dazed. "Aww. It was such a nice bike too…"

"You doofus!" Bulma hauled him to his feet. "Come on! We've got to hide! That explosion will lead him right to us!"

They ran through the grove until they came to a clearing. There was literally nowhere to hide. Bulma heard loud cursing behind her.

"He's nearly here!" She looked at Yamucha desperately. "Pick me up!"

Yamucha shook off his shock. "W-what?"

"Pick me up! Now!"

"But shouldn't we find a place to…"

"NOW Yamucha!"

"Alright!" He picked her up bridal style. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the camouflage prototype. She put in a few settings and smacked the big red button on top. Instantly, they were gone. In their place sat a small lake. A duck swam peacefully on its surface.

"Uh… what just happened?" Yamucha the lake asked.

"Yamucha, _shut up!_ " Bulma the duck hissed. "And whatever you do, _don't move!_ "

At that instant, Gero came roaring through the forest. He came upon the small lake and looked around furiously. He cursed some more and then took off again. Bulma and Yamucha waited in silence. Soon he came back, circling the lake suspiciously. He grumbled and shot off in a different direction. Twenty minutes passed. Bulma and Yamucha were about to breathe a sigh of relief when he came hurtling back through the trees to the lake.

"I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!" He screamed at the lake. "YOU and that STUPID PUNK BOY of yours are going to SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU DID!" He screamed at the trees. "I WILL find you and WHEN I find you, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY! You will BEG ME FOR DEATH by the time I'm finished with you! I WILL DESTROY YOU!" He screamed at the duck. "STOP MOCKING MEEEEEEEEEE!"

And then he flew out of the forest. An hour passed before either of them had the courage to speak.

"Is… is he gone?" Yamucha the lake asked.

"I think so." Bulma the duck said. "Yeah. He's gone."

"Good." He moved and POOF the disguises fell away. They were normal Yamucha and Bulma again.

"Thank Kami." Bulma sighed. She hugged Yamucha. "That was close."

"First off, two things." Yamucha said, setting Bulma down gently. "One, what the heck was that? And two, WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!"

Bulma was surprised. "You okay Yamucha?"

"NO! NO I am NOT OKAY!" He cried. "We were almost killed by a guy flying around with a death ray and we suddenly changed into a lake and a duck!" He was getting hysterical. "There was NOTHING okay with what just happened!"

"Yamucha. Calm down." Bulma said firmly. She placed gentle hands on his shoulders. "He was coming after us using rocket boots. Yes he had a death ray, but we have a personal camouflage device that can disguise us as anything. As long as we don't move, the disguise works."

"Wait… it can disguise us as anything and you picked a lake and a duck?"

"Well," Bulma said sheepishly, "we are in the middle of a forest so…"

Yamucha stared at her in disbelief. "I think you're crazy sometimes."

"But you love me anyway." She giggled, kissing his cheek. "Come on. We've got to get out of here. No telling if that nutcase is gonna come back."

"Yeah…" Yamucha said uneasily. Together they walked out of the wood and headed on down the road. They walked all day and into the late evening before a scream of rage behind them alerted them to Gero's presence.

"Oh no! He must've found the empty clearing!" Bulma cried.

"We've got to go!" Yamucha grabbed Bulma's arm and started sprinting.

"No! Yamucha please stop!" Bulma panted. Her legs shook. She felt like collapsing. "I can't go on like this!"

Yamucha looked back at her, eyes hard. "Then what are we going to do?!"

Bulma felt tears well up at his harsh tone. She sank to her knees in exhaustion. "I don't know…"

Yamucha stared at her a moment. "Use your disguise thingy!"

"My… Oh!" She pulled out the device and set it. She hit the button and instantly Yamucha became a man with bright red hair and jogging shorts and she became a rose growing in the hedge behind him.

"At least it's better than a lake…" Muttered Yamucha.

"Shhh! Here he comes!"

Gero came out of the sky, cursing and swearing up a storm. He landed on the ground and pointed an accusing finger straight at Yamucha in disguise.

"YOU! Improperly dressed jogger! Have you seen a scarred man and a woman with blue hair come this way?!"

"Sorry mister." Yamucha said in a horrible German accent. Bulma desperately wanted to facepalm. "Haven't seen anyone like that come this way."

Gero glared at him suspiciously. "Of course you haven't." He sneered. He was about to activate his boots and take off when he caught sight of the rose. A single red rose in the middle of a boxwood hedge. A slow, sinister grin stretched his face. "Do you mind if I pick that rose behind you? My wife loves roses."

Yamucha's eyes went wide. "I… uh…"

"Oh of course you don't mind." Gero got up in his face, pulling the death ray flush against his side. "Move out of the way." His grin stretched wider. "I dare you."

Yamucha stammered and Bulma panicked. They _couldn't_ move or else the disguise would drop! If they _didn't_ move, he would shoot Yamucha! His finger twitched to the trigger and Bulma made a snap decision. She threw herself out of the bush, the disguise dropped and she barreled right into Gero, knocking the gun out of his hand. It hit the ground and fired a bolt of laser death that grazed Bulma's leg.

"What the… YOU!" Gero set his sights on Bulma. She froze and instantly he was on her, choking her with his hands. "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

"Wolf Fang Fist!" Gero was forced to release Bulma as punches plowed into his side. He spun around and reached for his gun, but was taken down by two more well aimed hits to the head.

Bulma watched, awed as Yamucha beat down the man who tried to kill her. Finally, Gero was knocked to the ground and lay still. She held her breath for a moment. "Is… is he dead?"

"No." Yamucha said grimly. He lowered his fists. "Just knocked out." He turned to her. "Can you go on?"

Bulma shook her head, swallowing nervously. "I… I don't think so… my leg is…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah… It's just a scratch. I need to rest a while." Bulma smiled at him weakly. "The next town isn't too far from here. Why don't you take nutjob here to the police? I sent all the evidence I could find to them when I sabotaged his lab. They'll be glad to have him in custody."

"Are you sure?" Yamucha knelt down in front of her worriedly. "You'd be safer if you came with me."

"I have this remember?" She held up the camouflage device. "I'll be fine. Just a quick rest and then I'll catch up when I can."

Yamucha nodded reluctantly. "If I don't see you there by morning, I'm coming back to get you."

"In that case, I'll wait right here." Bulma smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. "When you come back for me, let's go to my father. My real father. He may not care, but he'll at least give us permission to get married."

"M-m-married?" Yamucha's face went up in a blush. "You want to get m-m-married?"

Bulma giggled. "Of course I do. I love you Yamucha."

"W-wow." Yamucha grinned goofily. "Wow! I'll… I'll go get your dad!" He clasped her hands excitedly. "I don't want to wait! I'll go get your father and come back with him!"

Bulma laughed. "Excited much?"

"Don't move a muscle!" Yamucha said, slinging the unconscious nutjob over his shoulder. "I'll be back with your dad in no time flat!" And with a final kiss goodbye, he jogged off into the night.

Bulma sat beside the hedge for a while. In the cool of the night she shivered, suddenly wishing she'd gone with Yamucha instead of sitting out in the dark like this. Uneasy, she hauled herself up and limped to the hedge that she hid in earlier. She used her disguise to make herself appear as merely a small blue stone beneath the hedge. She promptly fell asleep there.

Yamucha practically ran to the town. He was surprised to find that it wasn't far away at all. He went straight to the police station and turned over the criminal. The police were surprised but ultimately pleased by his efforts. They promptly incarcerated Gero and took his weapons and boots. They kept Yamucha there a while, asking him for his statement, having him promise to testify, and other things like that. By the time they had finished, the scarred man was dead tired. A sympathetic policeman offered to take him to a nearby inn to rest the night. He ignored the Yamucha's protests and set him up in a comfortable room. The policeman asked the inn keeper's pretty daughter to keep an eye on him which she was more than glad to do. She found him very handsome. She begged him to stay the night. Yamucha in turn was charmed by the girl, tired as he was. He listened to her and promised himself to go back for Bulma in the morning.

 ** _The next morning…_**

Cheery birdsong greeted Bulma as she awoke from a dead sleep. However, the blue haired genius wasn't cheery like the birds were. She was tired, dirty, smelly, stiff, and needed a cup of coffee. Her body ached from spending the whole night under a hedge. She got up to stretch, but cried out when pain shot through her leg. She looked down and saw the fierce burn on her lower leg. Not just a scratch after all. Groaning in distress, she tore a strip off the bottom of her shirt. She used it as a bandage, hoping that it would keep infection out.

Bulma looked around. No sign of Yamucha yet. She sat there for a long time, waiting less than patiently for her boyfriend to return. She sighed. Why had she let him find her father right away? She could've been sleeping in an actual bed instead of on the side of the road like this. Now he was probably running all around town trying to find her dad. Well, hopefully he wouldn't be _too_ long.

As she waited, she took another look at the personal camouflage device. It was pretty primitive as far as new technology went. She took her tools out of her capsule case and began tinkering with it. The long wait gave her plenty of time to study its workings and to make it better. It was, after all, only a prototype. She got hungry, but she didn't think to bring any food. She didn't bring any shelter either for that matter. So she staved off her hunger and discomfort as best she could. It wouldn't be too long now. Yamucha was sure to come back for her!

By the time the sun was beginning to set, she had greatly improved the little disguising device. Now, she could move about without losing the illusion. It was super handy. Still no Yamucha though.

Sighing, Bulma relaxed back under the hedge, letting the camouflage box do its work to make her little more than a pretty blue stone. She fell asleep again, listening to the sounds of the forest.

 ** _The next day…_**

Bulma awoke again to bright sunshine and birdsong. Another night and no boyfriend. She sighed in irritation. Where was Yamucha?

She got to her feet slowly, testing her injured leg. It wasn't too bad. She tested her weight and winced as pain flared up her leg. She decided that she should rest some more. She wouldn't be able to get far.

Still, her throat was really dry. She smacked her chapped lips and looked for water. She limped a short distance away and found a small stream. It looked clean enough. She had a good long drink and then went back to her spot under the hedge. While she waited, she fiddled with her shrinking watch. It had been ages since she built it. It could shrink you down to fit in someone's pocket and then back to normal whenever you wanted. It used the same technology that capsules did, but with living tissue. It wasn't dangerous; she used to use it all the time.

Idly, she shrunk down to the size of the rock she was supposed to be. Then she grew back to normal. She grinned. It still worked.

And so Bulma waited another day through to the night.

 ** _The next day…_**

"He's probably lost or something, right?" Bulma asked the squirrel she'd been watching for over an hour. The squirrel froze, looking around frantically. It couldn't see anyone. It nervously went back to gathering nuts.

Bulma sighed deeply. "He really should've been back by now. What's keeping Yamucha?" She looked up at the clear blue sky and frowned. "Maybe Gero tried fighting back again and hurt him. Ugh… what a nutjob." She absently scratched her wound, flinching when it stung her. "At least it isn't raining. And I got really lucky to have a clean stream nearby. Otherwise I would be in real trouble."

She picked idly at a blade of grass. "Haven't seen a single person on this road. I could probably hitch a ride into town if the person isn't a total sleazebag." She looked long and hard up the road, but there was no sign of any car or any Yamucha. With her injured leg, she was practically stuck here until somebody came along.

"This stinks."

 ** _The next day…_**

Bulma rubbed at her eyes. She looked up at the sunny day and felt like crying. "Where's Yamucha? It shouldn't have taken him this long to get to town and back." Her stomach growled and she winced. "He… he didn't forget about me did he?"

There was a rumble from up the road. Bulma perked up and grinned. That was the sound of a car! She got up as best she was able and deactivated the camouflage. A truck came into view and she waved like crazy.

"Hey! Stop! Help me out here!"

The truck honked once and went roaring past.

Bulma stood there in shock. Anger bubbled up from her chest and she yelled at the retreating vehicle. "YEAH?! WELL I DIDN'T WANT A RIDE WITH YOU ANYWAY YA BUTTFACE!"

She stomped back to her spot beneath the hedge and sat with an angry pout. Her leg hurt with the movement, but she was too angry to care about the pain. "Stupid leg injury and stupid truck driver and stupid Yamucha and stupid Gero and…" She ripped out a clump of grass near where she sat. "Where _is_ Yamucha?!"

Her anger dissipated after an hour. Instead, her thoughts turned back to the idea that he forgot about her. "He couldn't have forgotten, right?" Tears slipped down her face. "He just… he just had to have gotten lost or something, right?"

Nothing answered her and she felt her heart break. "He did, didn't he? That jerk got distracted chatting up some girl like he _always_ does and forgot about me." She brought her knees up to her chest and held herself in a little ball, trying not to cry too loudly. "I'm in trouble and he forgot about me! Why else wouldn't he be back here? He said he wanted to get married and he said he…"

She cried until she fell asleep that night.

 ** _The next day…_**

She was weak. The lack of food had really done a number on her. Bulma slumped where she sat. She couldn't hunt. She didn't know which berries to eat for fear of poisoning herself. She could only sit there and preserve her energy. And cry, but she'd had enough of that. Now she was just tired and sad.

And maybe a little angry.

"When I find him, I'm gonna punch him right in the mouth." She grumbled. "Right in his dirty, flirty little mouth. I'll punch him so hard his grandchildren are gonna feel it. And they won't be my grandchildren either." She didn't want to marry that jerk anyway… right? The thought hit her that _he_ didn't want to get married. She buried her head in her arms, trying to fight back more tears. "Am I not good enough? Didn't I treat him well enough? Am I not pretty enough?"

"Why didn't Yamucha come back for me?"

 ** _The next day…_**

"I wish I was dead." Bulma murmured. "Nobody cares for me anyway. I'd be better off a stone under someone's foot. Ground into dust." She laughed sadly and weakly. "Bunch of Bulma dust drifting in the wind. Making people sneeze and screwing with allergies. When I'm dead, I'll go haunt Yamucha." Her heart tightened in her chest at the thought of his name and she sighed. "Why did I go out with him anyways? Was I that needy? That rebellious against Gero?" She laughed again. "Of course I was rebellious against Gero. That guy was an evil jerk."

"It doesn't matter. Nobody cares anyway." She said bitterly. "Nobody cared at home. That's why I ran away. Nobody cared at Gero's except Sixteen and he…" She swallowed back her tears. "And now Yamucha. The guy I thought I loved." She buried her face in her hands. "Kami… I wish I was dead."

She pulled out her watch and made herself shrink down to the size of the stone she was disguised as. "I bet if I wait in the middle of the road, I'll get crushed by a passing car. I won't have to wait around to die slowly." She crawled into the middle of the road and lay curled up, small and defenseless and hoping for the end.

Just then, pressed to the ground, weak from hunger and heartache, Bulma looked up and saw three men traveling down the road. Strangely enough they were just walking along the highway. All three were dressed as though they had just come back from the military. Each wore camouflaged fatigues and carried a military duffle. One of them had many arrows and stars of rank. They got closer and she could hear them talking.

"… and I'm telling you, they have the absolute best hot dogs you've ever tasted."

The large bald man laughed aloud. "Raditz, as long as it's covered in ketchup and served by a pretty girl, you couldn't care less about how it tastes."

The long haired man laughed with him. "You know me so well Nappa." He leaned over and nudged the shorter man that walked between them with his elbow. "Hey Vegeta, what are you going to do on your leave?"

The short, very handsome, scary looking man grunted in irritation. He was the one with all the stars and arrows of rank. "We're mercs. We don't _get_ leave."

The one Bulma identified as Raditz drooped. "Oh come on Vegeta. Sure we're mercs, but we're mercs for the royal army! Can't we say we're on military leave?"

Nappa, the big guy, chuckled and cuffed Raditz over the head. "You only want to say that to get girls." He looked at the shorter man. "Seriously Vegeta. You can't stay holed up in that little house all the time. You need to get out every once in a while."

Vegeta, the short hot scary one, glared at him. "And you should train every once in a while." He said mockingly. Nappa shrugged it off nonchalantly and kept walking. Their heavy footsteps brought them closer and closer to Bulma. She curled up tighter in her little ball of misery. With any luck, the big guy would step on her and crush her without a thought.

Vegeta scowled at his comrades. What a bunch of idiots. They'd rather waste their time on frivolous things instead of training. Suddenly a glint of sunlight off something on the ground caught his eye. Vegeta stopped and looked down. A bright blue stone sat in the middle of the road. It shone in the strong sunlight. Had it not shone so much, he probably would've walked right past it. Glancing at his teammates, he made sure they weren't looking and reached down to scoop the small gem up.

Bulma squeaked softly. She didn't expect anyone to pick her up!

Vegeta looked around. He thought he'd heard something just then. When he saw nothing but his idiot teammates, he looked back at the stone he held between his thumb and forefinger. It was strangely warm to the touch and a beautiful aqua blue. His favorite color.

Bulma stared wide eyed into his dark, intense gaze. She knew he was studying the rock, but it felt like he was looking right into her soul. She should've felt frightened, but those eyes captured her and she felt her heart flutter instead.

Vegeta looked the stone over and contemplated it. Without changing his expression, he flipped his shirt pocket open and dropped the little gem inside. He buttoned it securely and walked on, ignoring the fact that his teammates were staring curiously at him.

Inside the pocket, Bulma was thoroughly jostled, alarmed, and frightened. She was being unintentionally kidnapped by scary mercenaries! This was the absolute worst! But much to her dismay, the pocket was warm and she was tired. Weary in body and heart. Before she knew it, the gentle rocking motion had lulled her to sleep.

Vegeta walked with Raditz and Nappa all the way to the town. Then, when they went to find some fun, he left them. He walked a ways until he had eventually left the town again. Traveling over the fields and meadows, he came at last to a little house nestled in a grove of trees. He scowled over his shoulder for a second before unlocking the door and going in.

The house was small. It was a single room that was a kitchen, dining, living, and bedroom rolled into one. The bathroom was the only other room in the house. It was small, sparsely finished and scrupulously organized. It was also very dusty.

Vegeta sighed and dropped his duffle beside the door. He walked over and unceremoniously flopped on the bed. A cloud of dust arose from where he landed. He coughed and scowled at the dust cloud.

"I should really clean in here." He muttered half heartedly. It had been a long time since he'd been to the little house. The place was covered with dust and grime. He bet the food in the fridge had gone bad as well.

He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. "Perhaps tomorrow." All he really wanted to do was rest without worry that someone would stab him in his sleep. He had been out on a mission for far too long and was exhausted. No one, not even his closest comrades, were allowed to see him display any sort of weakness. He figured that if they were to know he was but a little tired, they would think less of him. He was already a very stubborn and driven individual and the need to show no weakness was overwhelming. Perhaps that was why he never went out.

Vegeta shook the thoughts from his weary mind. Thinking could happen later. If he thought too much, he'd surely have nightmares again. So he got himself comfortable on the dusty bed, not even bothering to change his clothes. He was asleep almost instantly.

 ** _That night…_**

Bulma awoke to close darkness. She gasped and struggled against the enclosing walls of her prison. Somehow she was able to pop a flap open and scramble out. The effort alone exhausted her and she flopped on the rather firm, warm surface. The surface shifted at the slight movement and she let out a little gasp.

She was lying on someone's chest!

Bulma blushed heatedly and stared at the man's sleeping face. It was the short scary man from yesterday. She'd forgotten that he had picked her up. In sleep, he was relaxed and far more handsome than scary. Slowly, so as to not disturb him further, she looked around the room. In the moonlight coming through the window, the one room house looked simple. Dirty, but non-threatening.

At least it was better than sitting on the side of the road. Bulma sighed. She didn't want to be saved by this guy, but she didn't want to die anymore either. Better to get out of there while she could. Slowly, she edged her way to the edge of the bed. She was gauging the distance from the bed to the floor when suddenly her injured leg gave out. She shrieked and toppled to the floor with a sharp bang.

Vegeta was instantly on his feet. Startled out of a dead sleep, his body was immediately on the defensive as he stood on his mattress with knife in hand. He looked around the room wildly. Was it an intruder?! An enemy?!

Bulma went very still. As far as she knew, she was still disguised as the blue stone. With any luck he wouldn't see her.

Slowly, Vegeta lowered the knife. He cursed softly and ran a hand through his jet black flame of hair. "Stupid nightmares…" he muttered tiredly. He sat down on the mattress and held his head in his hands.

Bulma looked up, wide eyed as the man composed himself. He looked ready to stab someone just then! Good thing she was so small. Otherwise she'd be in trouble. Suddenly his eyes opened, landing squarely on her. Fear made her freeze up. He'd seen her! What would he do now?!

Vegeta reached down and picked up the small blue gem he'd found on the road. It must've fallen from his pocket and awoken him. He scowled at it for a moment. Then he sighed. It was his own fault for not securing the pocket, he supposed. After all he was still dressed in his fatigues. He got up from the bed and walked to the table. He put the small stone on its surface and bent down to undo his shoes.

Bulma watched, stunned beyond belief as the man started taking off his clothes in front of her. She was going to scream, but he stopped and walked to the bathroom. She let out a sigh of relief. She needed to get out of here before something irrevocably embarrassing happened.

She tried to get up, but gasped in pain as she put weight on her injured leg. She glanced beneath the makeshift bandage and winced. It didn't look healthy at all. It was slightly green and was had a sweet odor to it. Bulma was smart. She knew it had gotten infected. She needed medicine, fresh bandages, and clean water. Fast.

So wrapped up in her own problems, Bulma almost didn't notice the door to the bathroom opening. The man returned to the room, dressed in a loose pair of sweatpants. Her eyes went wide as she took in his shirtless form. Wow was he was built! Yamucha was pretty muscular himself, but this guy put him to shame! Her face turned beet red as he stretched, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.

She really needed to get out of here.

Vegeta headed back to bed. Right as he passed the table he stopped. He sniffed the air. Something smelled sickly sweet. Like… infection sweet. He sniffed deeply and looked for the source of the smell. He looked down at himself, frowning. He hadn't been injured too badly on the mission. Whatever injuries he managed to get had already been healed. He didn't see anything bad enough to give off the smell of infection. He sniffed again and looked down at the table.

Bulma held back a squeak as the shirtless man leaned over her and sniffed. He looked confused as he stared at her… er… the little blue rock. He reached over and effortlessly picked her up once more. He held her to his nose and sniffed deep. Bulma tried her best not to scream, freaked out as she was by the scary handsome man sniffing her.

Vegeta eyed the blue stone warily. "Why does it smell like…" Infection and strawberries? He set the stone down on the table and rubbed wearily at his eyes. That last mission apparently messed him up more than usual. "I'm too tired for this." He muttered. Then he turned and crawled back into bed.

Bulma waited until she heard his breathing turn even and slow. Finally he was asleep. That was too close for comfort. She pressed the button on her watch and grew back to normal size. She climbed down off the table slowly to keep her injury from hurting. She limped to the bathroom and quietly shut the door. Once safely inside, she turned off the camouflage device and searched for a first aid kit. The guy was a mercenary. He just _had_ to have a first aid kit somewhere.

She eventually found it in the linen cupboard alongside some fresh bandages. It was large and held all the medical supplies she needed. Including some things she was sure weren't sold over the counter.

Taking off her jeans, she set about cleaning the wound. She wasn't a doctor, but she knew what she was doing. After it had been thoroughly cleaned and bandaged, she gave herself an injection of penicillin. With any luck it would knock the infection out of her system. However, it would take time. She was still so weak from the lack of food and water that she could barely make it through dressing her own wound.

In other words, until she was healed and back to full strength, Bulma wasn't going anywhere.

 ** _The next morning…_**

Bulma awoke from her position curled in the linen cupboard to the most delicious smell she had ever had the pleasure of smelling. Someone was making breakfast. She took a deep sniff and felt her stomach rumble with desire. Eggs, bacon, French toast... it smelled so good she could practically taste it!

Even though she was still weak from the lack of proper nourishment, Bulma moved quite quickly from the cupboard, eager to get some of that food for herself. She activated her camouflage and slowly crept out of the bathroom.

The short, scary handsome man whose name she could not remember was cooking. He was standing in the kitchenette, expertly flipping pancakes. Her eyes went wide at the sheer amount of food he had made. There were stacks of pancakes, towers of toast, mountains of eggs and a log cabin made of bacon. Bulma had to keep swallowing her drool or else she would've made a puddle on the floor.

Did he really get up, get dressed and go into town to shop for food all before Bulma woke up? Dang but he must get up _early_. Was he expecting company or something?

Bulma watched with wide hungry eyes as he flipped what must've been the fiftieth pancake. Then he shut off the stove and carried everything over to the table. He walked back over to the cabinets and pulled out a single plate and matching utensils. Then, grabbing a jug of orange juice, he sat down at the table and wordlessly tucked in to the huge breakfast. Bulma was shocked as he shoveled food in his mouth like he was starving. Was all that food really for him? He wasn't expecting company?

She was half disgusted; half amazed to watch him eat. Food disappeared before his voracious appetite. And he was still trim and fit! Where did it all go? The food shrank down to mere impressions of its former glory and Bulma felt a sudden misery. He was going to eat it all. She wasn't going to get _any_ of it.

Suddenly a phone rang.

Both Bulma and the short scary handsome man jumped. He frowned and reached into his pocket to pull out his cell phone. He looked at the caller ID and groaned through his mouthful of food. He hit ignore and set back to his meal again, but before he could get into it, the phone rang a second time. He scowled at the phone and once more, hit ignore.

Almost immediately the phone started ringing again.

He finally answered it with a huff. "What do you want Raditz?" His voice growled low and angry.

Bulma gulped nervously. Wasn't he in a good mood? Hopefully he wasn't one of those angry mercenaries that threw things. He listened for a moment and she was surprised to see him lean back in his chair and rub the bridge of his nose. "Again? What did you two idiots do this time?" There was another pause as he listened. His face took on an incredulous expression. "You did what?" Another pause and then a heavy irritated sigh. "You imbeciles. I'm not bailing you out." He paused again. "I don't care. You got yourselves in, you can get yourselves out." And he hung up.

He sat there for a moment and then resumed his meal. Bulma watched him, appalled. He wasn't going to help his friends out? What a jerk!

There was approximately three minutes of silence, minus chewing noises, when the phone rang again. The man scowled and glared at the phone. He read the caller ID and his gaze got darker. He swore softly and stood up before answering.

"This is Ouji." His voice was cold, professional. There was silence as he listened. "Understood." Then he hung up. He stared at the phone for a moment. Without a word, he crossed over to the window and looked out into the woods. He stood there, trembling slightly. Bulma watched, quite freaked out, as the phone he was holding in his hand was slowly crushed.

Vegeta stared out the window angrily. Figures his only comrades go and get themselves thrown in the slammer right before a job. He looked down at the crushed phone in his hand and grimaced. The fact that they called him instead of Nappa was his own fault. He should've known better than to keep a burner. He turned and tossed the remnants of the phone on the bed. He gave a passing regretful glance to his unfinished breakfast before going to get his gear. There was literally no time to waste. This job had a limited window of opportunity.

He paused. There was no time to get Nappa and Raditz out. He cursed softly and resumed packing. It didn't matter if it was a three man job. He was more than capable of doing it himself. He'd done it before. Many times. He was a loner anyway. It was better that way. Vegeta no Ouji didn't need anyone and he liked it that way.

Or so he told himself.

Vegeta hefted his bag over his shoulder and left the little house, making sure to lock the door properly before he left. He sprinted away from the home, focusing his mind on the task before him.

Bulma, now alone in the house, turned off her camouflage, grew to normal size, and devoured the remaining breakfast. She moaned in appreciation. The guy could cook! It was the best tasting eggs and bacon she's ever had! Or… that she's had after not eating for so long. She ate too fast and her stomach couldn't handle it so she ended up getting sick, but she felt much better after eating.

After polishing off a good portion of her unwitting host's breakfast and saving an equally large portion for lunch, Bulma undid the dressing on her leg and took a careful shower. The hot water stung her wound, but it felt oh so good to be clean! Actually, the medicine and clean bandages seemed to help tremendously. It didn't have such a sickly sweet scent as it did before.

She re-bandaged her leg and then washed out her dirty clothes as best she could in the sink. She then let them dry in the sun outside. While they were drying, she took a careful look around the house. It was quite simple. No television, a small bookshelf, a bed and a table apart from the kitchenette. There was a decent layer of dust and grime over everything. It wasn't cluttered, but man oh man did it need a good scrub down.

Bulma nodded to herself. She wasn't at full capacity yet, but cleaning a one room house would be easy. It was the perfect way to say thank you for the unwitting rescue she'd received.

And so, Bulma spent the day cleaning up a stranger's house.

 ** _That night…_**

Vegeta was tired. Each step he took seemed to get harder and harder to take as he dragged his bruised and beaten body back to his house. The job hadn't gone quite as planned. There was an ambush and he almost walked right into it. But nobody gets the drop on Vegeta no Ouji. Nobody. Luckily he was able to take out the armed men and escort the package to the drop point, but it all made him dead tired. And he was only running on half a breakfast.

On the plus side, he was assured that there wouldn't be any more missions for at least another day. Thinking on it, he almost envied Raditz and Nappa. They were relaxing in the county jail right about now. Vegeta scoffed to himself. Lazy bums.

He reached the little house and warily checked his surroundings. He'd made very sure he wasn't followed. He unlocked the door and slipped inside. Finally alone, he sighed. He flicked the lights on and dropped his duffel on the floor.

And promptly froze.

It was absolutely spotless. The entire house was clean from top to bottom.

Bulma, who had been hiding underneath the bed in order to watch his reaction, tried hard to keep from bursting into laughter. His face was priceless! However, her inner laughter died when he whipped his gun out of its holster and dropped into a defensive stance.

Vegeta's senses were on high alert. Someone had gotten into his house! He flattened himself against the wall and edged slowly to the only room in the house besides the main room. He paused a second before whipping the bathroom door open.

Nothing.

He scowled at the empty bathroom and slowly lowered his gun. There was no one in his house. But who would've come in and not taken… His eyes went wide and he dashed to his bed.

Bulma let out a small yelp as he ran to the bed. The jig was up! She threw herself to the side as he effortlessly lifted the whole frame and tossed it vehemently against the opposing wall. It crashed against with a loud bang. The man ignored it, going for a loose floorboard where the bed used to be. Bulma watched with wide eyes as he pulled it up and put it to the side, revealing a small cache of things. He stared at it, his eyes flicking to and fro, cataloging all the items. Slowly his scowl relaxed and he sighed heavily.

All his most precious possessions were still there. They hadn't been taken.

Vegeta sat back on his heels and ran a shaking hand through his flame of hair. That was close. He looked at his small cache of secrets and frowned. He looked around the room again and the frowned deepened. It was strange. Nothing was stolen. Nothing was broken. Who in the world would break into his house without any sign of forced entry only to clean the place? He knew literally no one in the town. He made it a point to never be friendly with the locals. No connections, no friends. Who could've done this? His paranoia grew. Nobody did that. That's not how the world worked.

His frown softened slightly as weariness reasserted its pull on him. He was too tired for this. Putting the board back in place, he got up and moved to the mess that used to be his bed. He hauled the mattress up and fluffed it, putting it and the pillows and blankets on the floor. He would have to fix the frame in the morning.

Bulma watched him cautiously. While she was curious as to what was in the cache hidden under the floorboards, she was far too small to investigate. Plus, she was sure that he thought there'd been an intruder. How seriously did this guy take his privacy? He looked angry and panicked instead of delightfully surprised. Didn't he appreciate the fact that his house was clean? She pouted. Sure she would've probably acted the same way if someone did that to her lab, but she still felt sore about it.

The man sat down on his mattress and pulled off his black shirt. Bulma blushed, but the red flush across her cheeks faded at the number of scars and bruises and injuries she could see littered across his torso. She shouldn't be surprised, he was a mercenary, but her heart still clenched in her chest as she saw the scars. Some of them were old, but they still looked painful. He stretched a bit and the blush came back. The scars certainly added to his bad boy image. She couldn't say she didn't like the way they looked. He wore them well.

Vegeta sighed heavily. "I need a shower." He felt gross and didn't want to admit how sore he felt. Tomorrow was going to suck. But the house was clean, so at least he wouldn't have to worry about that. A smile picked at the corner of his lips. Whoever it was that did it, he didn't know whether to gut them or thank them. Maybe both? His brain was fuzzy with exhaustion. He lay down and closed his eyes. Yeah. Both.

Bulma watched as the man fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. She glanced at the loose floorboard and bit her lip. She was painfully curious, but decided not to look. Her blue eyes drifted back to the mercenary and she felt her heart soften at his tired face. She walked over and sat beside his pillow, watching him. What was his story? Why did he have so many scars? More than your average mercenary?

She sat there, watching him until she drifted off to sleep beside him.

 ** _The next morning…_**

Bulma awoke to the sound of the soft grunts. She nearly jolted up from where she had fallen asleep on the mattress next to his pillow. Panic raced through her. Had she forgotten to set her disguise? Did she forget to set her watch?

No… no everything was fine. She looked around blearily until her eyes landed on the source of her awakening.

The mercenary was working out. He was currently doing pushups nonstop, sweat dripping from his shirtless form. His dog tags hung from around his neck, clinking together softly as he went up and down unceasingly. Suddenly he switched to one hand and did one handed pushups.

Bulma felt her jaw drop a bit. He was doing pushups at dark-thirty in the morning!? Wasn't he tired and sore? He certainly looked exhausted last night! Those bruises he was sporting didn't look any better either. He suddenly stopped the pushups and switched to lunges. She watched him do that for a while as well as many other bodyweight exercises. Her admiration rose even further for the man as his face showed none of the discomfort he must be feeling. This went on for a long while until he finally stopped.

Instead of resting, he surprised Bulma by walking to the door and going out into the weak pre-dawn light. She scrambled from her position to see what he was doing. He was doing a complex martial arts kata in the field in front of the house. Stunned at his determination, Bulma watched for a while, blushing at the sight of him. He was certainly attractive.

She shook herself. This was no time to be watching the man. She had to change the bandage on her leg before he came back. She hobbled to the linen cupboard and became her normal size again. She disengaged the camouflage device and changed the bandage on her injured leg. She was surprised to see that it was already starting to heal. The clean bandages and medicine were working wonders.

"Who's there?!"

Bulma gasped and fumbled with the bandages. Quickly she hit the button on her watch and shrank down to a miniscule size.

Vegeta burst in to the bathroom, a fearsome look on his face. "Where are you?!" He charged to the shower and ripped the curtain back. "I know you're in here!"

Bulma tucked herself behind the toilet, quivering in fear. Then her eyes went wide. She'd left the device on the counter! She squeezed her eyes closed and prayed the man wouldn't see it.

Vegeta growled angrily. There was no one in the bathroom. He stomped out into the main room, ferocious glare sweeping the room. No one here either. He kicked the broken bed frame in a foul temper. He could've sworn he saw _someone_ in the bathroom! He paced back and forth like a caged tiger as he tried to puzzle out what he could've seen. An enemy? Some sort of ninja? A pro sent to murder him in his sleep? Vegeta huffed. Impossible. Nobody could pull one over on Vegeta no Ouji. His mind was just playing tricks on him.

He sighed angrily and stomped back into the bathroom. He was sore, tired, and hungry. Once his needs had been met, then he would worry about how crazy he was going this time.

Bulma practically ran out of the bathroom the moment she heard the water start to run. The water masked her footsteps. Her leg was throbbing with pain, but she made it out with all of her things in her pockets. As soon as the mercenary left the room she had grown big and snatched the camouflage device. She hit the button just in time. A second later and he would've seen her.

The whole experience tired her out. She needed energy. Hopefully the scary man would go to the store and pick up more food. She slumped against the wall and gave a sigh. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Stealing from this man, living in his house right under his nose, eating his food, what had the great Bulma Briefs come to? But she also figured that he would just turn her away if she came out and asked him for a place to stay.

She didn't have any other choice.

Bulma watched warily as he emerged from the steamy bathroom, fully dressed. He went over to the door and put his boots on. And then he left. An hour later he returned to the house, arms laden with grocery bags. He kicked the door closed behind him and went about the task of putting things away and cooking something edible.

The mouthwatering scents had Bulma's tummy rumbling when a sudden loud banging came at the front door.

"Vegeta! Vegeta I know you're in there!"

Vegeta paused in his cooking and groaned aloud. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Open up!" A man's voice rang angrily through the door. "Let us in RIGHT NOW!"

He turned the stove off and walked to the door to glare at it angrily. "When did they let you idiots out of jail?"

"OPEN THE STUPID DOOR VEGETA!"

There was the sound of another man laughing. "They let us out this morning. Said we were too much of a trouble to keep for more than 24 hours."

"RAAAGH!" The door shook violently from the impact of a shoulder. "LET US IN!"

Vegeta crossed his arms. "No."

The angry man raged harder and Bulma heard a sigh. "Listen Vegeta," the second man said through the door, "we know about the job you took."

"And?" Vegeta sniffed.

"WHY would you take that job YOURSELF?!" The angry man threw himself full tilt at the door. The poor thing shuddered, but held its ground. "You could've bailed us out! WE COULD'VE HELPED YOU!"

"I didn't need your help." Vegeta sneered.

"YOU POMPOUS… ARROGANT… SON-OF-A…!"

"Breathe Raditz." The second voice grew stern. "We were worried."

"I'm far superior to…"

"We know." The stern voice cut him off. "But we weren't there." The voice grew softer. "You know we are the last ones Vegeta."

Vegeta stiffened. When he spoke, his voice was even. "I am aware."

"We can't afford to…"

"You won't!" Vegeta snapped. He reached out and ripped the door open. He deftly side-stepped a charging Raditz and watched as the long haired man tripped over his broken bed frame and crashed to the floor. The other big merc came in after him with a heavy sigh.

"Raditz, pick yourself up would you? You're embarrassing me."

The fallen man got to his feet, shaking his head to clear it. "Shut up Nappa! I wouldn't be falling over myself to get here if _sir_ _jerksalot_ hadn't gone on that stupid mission and made us worried sick!"

Vegeta scowled at his comrades. "Your concern is unnecessary."

"UNNECESSARY?!" Raditz spun on Vegeta. "How can we NOT be worried?! Half the time you come back from solo missions inches from death! And for what?! To prove yourself to some unknown higher power?! To get stronger?!" Raditz was yelling now. "You're a moron! There is absolutely no reason to endanger yourself like that! You go solo on missions that would kill anyone else!"

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not anyone else." He replied snarkily.

Raditz let out and angry roar and charged the smaller man. Vegeta merely smirked and led Raditz on a merry chase round the room. The long haired merc swung wildly at him, but nothing landed. Vegeta dodged the intended blows with almost comical ease. Eventually he led Raditz out into the clearing, backing out at the same pace as the rushing man. Nappa watched this all silently. The large, bald man shook his head and followed the pair outside. The fight would be entertaining at the very least.

Bulma watched all of this from the safety of the bathroom door. She really had no idea what they were talking about. Wasn't mercenary work dangerous to begin with? Why would they be so worried about him? She shook herself out of her reverie and rushed to the stove, growing to her normal size on the way. Better take the opportunity to get some food before it all disappeared.

The genius woman hurried, but she really didn't need to. The morning stretched to midday before the three finally came back inside.

"You two are slipping." A sweaty Vegeta was saying. His arms were folded across his chest. "It didn't take me nearly as long to disable you as it should have. AND I was going easy on you."

A very beat up Raditz looked over irritably from beneath swelling eyelids. "Oh gee. Thanks for going so easy on us, _your highness_."

An equally roughed up Nappa cuffed him from behind. "Mind your manners."

Raditz scowled heavily at the older man. "Oh like you're one to correct me? What did you call Vegeta during that spar? A weak willed, spineless, quivering baby brat?"

Vegeta shot a death glare at Nappa. The older man smiled and shrugged it off like water off a duck's back. "Heat of the moment I guess."

The short flame haired man sighed. "Idiots." There was a brief stretch of silence as Vegeta seemed to mull something over. When he spoke he had the attention of the other two men immediately. "The missions are coming faster. We won't be getting a moment's rest." He averted his gaze as he continued speaking. "No doubt to make us weak and unsuspecting."

Nappa swore. "You think they'll try something?"

"I don't doubt it. We've been a thorn in Frieza's side for too long." Raditz spat off to the side as he said the hated name. "He's probably ready to take us off the priority list."

Vegeta regarded the window of his home with silent intensity. Raditz and Nappa griped some more about Frieza being a complete jerkwad, but he remained silent. Suddenly he spoke gruffly. "You were in jail." The two other men went instantly silent. Vegeta looked uncomfortable with attention, but went on. "I had no choice."

Another stretch of silence. Nappa smiled a personal smile and Raditz sighed, tension leaking out of him gradually. "Yeah," the long haired man said tiredly, "we figured. Why else would he throw a mission at you while we were gone?"

"Knew you'd be fine though." Nappa said, stretching his sore muscles.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Are you finished now?" Seemingly satisfied, the two mercenaries took their leave with grumblings and jokes. Vegeta closed the door behind them and relaxed. He ran a hand through his flame of midnight hair. He knew how they felt. They always ranted and complained to him after a solo mission. They knew why he did what he did and he knew why they worried. At this point, it had become a ritual between the three of them. A pointless ritual in Vegeta's opinion. One in which he apologized in his own way, making him feel downright embarrassed.

He grumped his way back to the kitchenette. He was about to serve himself from what he'd cooked, but stopped. He growled, slamming his plate on the counter and dashing back to the door. Throwing it wide, he hollered at the retreating figures.

"AND QUIT STEALING MY FOOD!"

 ** _The next day…_**

Bulma watched, highly amused as the three mercenaries played cards at the little table in Vegeta's home.

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish."

"Dangit!" Raditz scowled at Nappa. "I could've sworn you had threes!"

Nappa rolled his eyes. "Raditz, you _are_ a three."

"Hey! I'm at least a seven!" The long haired man said indignantly. "Girls go after lucky sevens! Not after some bald giant with an IQ of three!"

"Ladies love the bald look! Makes me look tough!"

"Makes you look old!"

Vegeta fought down the urge to sigh at his comrades. "Idiots." He muttered, deftly pulling a five out of Raditz's hand and laying down a match.

Raditz shot him an irritated look. Then he smirked. "At least we don't have to worry about Vegeta getting a girl." He spoke to Nappa slyly. "I mean look at him. Short, world's biggest widow's peak, what girl wouldn't run screaming for the hills?"

Nappa smirked in kind and gave Vegeta a very uncomfortable slow look from top to bottom. "Well, perhaps if he didn't scowl all the time he'd actually be a looker."

"You think?"

"Oh I know." Nappa leaned on his elbow, ignoring the slowly rising fury in his commander's face. "Remember that time in the Belgium hospital?"

"With that one nurse?" Raditz broke out in a grin. " _Brunhilda_?"

The pair cracked up laughing and Vegeta blew his top. Bulma had to stifle a giggle as he effortlessly flipped the table into the two men's faces and screamed at them.

"WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!"

Nappa laughed. "You were the one who said we needed to be on the lookout for more missions. We need to stick together."

"Think about it Vegeta." Raditz said testily, picking playing cards out of his long black hair, "If we go out and get ourselves thrown in the slammer again, how would we be able to help you?"

Vegeta crossed his arms and scowled menacingly. "So you are just sitting in my house," he shot a scathing look at his now empty fridge, "eating my food, and waiting for a mission?!"

Nappa shrugged. "Pretty much."

"AAAARGH!" Vegeta launched himself at the men. They started tussling and Bulma was amazed to watch Vegeta actually come out on top. She figured that, being the smallest fighter, he'd be at a disadvantage. Instead, he proved himself to be the strongest of the three, easily beating up and evading the other men. She watched him in appreciation, smiling to herself. So far he hadn't figured out that _she_ was really the one eating his food.

Then, almost as soon as the fight got serious, a phone rang. The mercenaries froze. They swapped a grave look with each other as Nappa moved to answer it.

"This is Shikikan." He said coldly. There was a stretch of silence. "Understood." And he snapped the phone shut. He looked at his comrades gravely. "It's another takeover."

Vegeta's scowl got darker and Raditz cursed. "Are we the only team?" Nappa grimaced and Raditz swore a little louder. "I knew it. They still think Vegeta's in poor shape."

Vegeta smiled a deathly cold smile. "Let's prove them wrong, shall we?"

Bulma felt a sudden dread at his expression. The other men nodded curtly and together they left the house without another word between them. Bulma waited until they had gone out of sight before she disabled the camouflage. They had talked briefly about the dangerous missions they'd been sent on. Who was the guy that was trying to get them killed? Bulma shivered. She had a bad feeling about this.

But them being away also meant that the house would be empty.

Bulma smiled broadly. While the cats were away, the mouse would play. Or in this case, go shopping for food and supplies. She was running out of bandages and medicine. And clothes! Honestly, the ones she'd been wearing were beginning to smell like last year's trends. Bulma tested her injured leg, figuring that she was strong enough to go out and shop for a little while.

A thought struck her as she left the house. How was she going to pay for all of this? Bulma frowned. She didn't have any money to buy anything. Guess she was going to have to use her camouflage device some more. Stealing wasn't something she wanted to do, but what other choice did she have? There was no telling when the merc would come back and she was hungry!

She reasoned that she'd pay every shop back after getting back on her feet. After all, getting a job wouldn't be too hard. A genius engineer like her could totally find a job as a mechanic or something. Bulma pushed her doubts to the back of her mind as she headed off to steal some basic necessities.

She finally limped back late that night, muscles screaming as she carried all that wouldn't fit in her spare capsule. Guilt weighed heavily on her mind. She'd never stolen before. The adrenaline rush helped push her to get in, get it, and get out, but now it was gone and she was exhausted. Her injured leg wasn't helping matters either. All she wanted to do was go back to the house, cook something, get a shower and go to sleep.

Bulma opened the door to the little house and kicked it closed behind her. She set the bags down with a sigh of relief. She should've picked up some spare capsules. She flicked on the lights.

And screamed.

Vegeta lay in the middle of the one room house, bleeding everywhere. His wheezy breathing was labored and his arms and legs were lying in awkward directions. Blood absolutely soaked his torn clothing. The skin that wasn't covered in blood was deathly pale or already starting to discolor with harsh bruising.

Bulma forced herself to breathe in and out. This was no time to panic. Hopefully it wasn't as bad as it looked. She went to his side and tried to gauge his injures. Her face paled at the number of stab wounds and bullet holes. The amount of blood on the floor was staggering. She could plainly see that his arm was broken. His collarbone was probably broken as well.

What in the world did this crazy merc do to himself? She felt woozy as she assessed his condition. Something terrible no doubt. She took a steadying breath. Bulma couldn't afford to faint if she wanted to save his life.

Disregarding her own clothes, she did her best to hoist him up. She barely got him off the floor when she had to put him down again. He was heavy! Instead, she dragged him slowly to his mattress, propping him up against the wall as gently as she could. She left him there for a moment, opting to go and prepare the supplies she'd thankfully gotten while she was out.

Summoning all of her nerve and medical knowledge, Bulma Briefs went about the work of cleaning, suturing, and bandaging Vegeta's wounds. She took out as many bullets as she could find and staunched the bleeding as best she knew how. She dosed him with pain medication and with a good shot of penicillin to prevent infection. She knew how bad it sucked if any of those injuries went septic.

While she was working on saving his life, Vegeta slowly began to wake from unconsciousness. Something or someone was pulling him from that sweet darkness. The ministrations were gentle, but they disturbed him nonetheless. He furrowed his eyebrows. Who would do such a thing? Who would try to tear Vegeta no Ouji out of unconscious bliss? Blearily he opened his eyes.

And saw an angel.

Blue eyed and blue haired, she was the most gorgeous person he'd ever seen. There was a faint glow around her, or so he thought, as she worked busily at something he couldn't see. Her clothes were somewhat bloody and she was holding clean bandages. She looked like she was worried. Why would an angel be worried? What was she doing?

She turned back to face him and froze. Wide blue eyes met dark bleary ones. Vegeta looked at her in wonder. Was she worried over him? He opened his mouth to ask, but only a painful groaning noise emerged.

Her face softened. "Shhh…" The angel soothed. She ran a hand through his hair tenderly. He shivered at the contact. He hadn't been touched like that since he was a child. She leaned close and he caught her scent. It was like sweet summer strawberries. She smiled kindly and whispered, "Go back to sleep Vegeta."

And surprisingly, he did.

 ** _The next day…_**

Strong sunlight was what finally pulled Vegeta from the deepest sleep he'd had in months. He shifted slightly and grit his teeth. His whole body was sore and painful. It felt like he'd been run over by a freight train. Twice. What had he done to feel so bad?

The mission!

Vegeta sat bolt upright. He immediately fell back on his mattress with a painful hiss. His ribs and collarbone screamed in pain. Forcing himself to breathe calmly to assuage the pain, he looked around. He was in his house. That was good, but how did he get here?

Slower this time, he pushed himself into an upright sitting position. He winced and felt his entire body throb. He looked down and saw that he was well bandaged. His arm was even in a makeshift sling. It was obvious that it had been reset thanks to the wood splints keeping it straight. Were those pieces of his bed frame? He blinked. Did he really come home and care for his injuries this well while bleeding to death?

Vegeta scowled and tried to remember. They'd done a successful takeover of a small rival kingdom, but faced an ambush of 'friendlies' that were suddenly 'not-so-friendly'. They managed to hold their own and survive the conflict, but Nappa and Raditz were in no shape to go anywhere afterward. Somehow, he'd have to figure out how exactly he did it later, Vegeta managed to hotwire a car and drive it to the hospital in town. He remembered the emergency ward and giving his comrades into the hands of the hospital staff. He also remembered starting the walk home, thinking he didn't need any hospitalization.

Then the second ambush happened.

Vegeta groaned aloud at the memory. Two ambushes in one day. Frieza was out for blood for sure. Somehow he managed to fight off the would-be assassins, but he was left in such a state that getting inside his house was nearly impossible. The last thing he remembers is coming in, shutting the door and… darkness.

Could it be that he somehow woke up, stopped the bleeding, got himself some bandages, _and_ fixed his body up with only the use of one arm? Vegeta knew he was good, but he didn't think he was _that_ good. He didn't remember any of that. But he did remember a dream. The one with the blue haired angel. What was that about?

Vegeta took a deep breath through his nose, his eyes falling shut. He was nearly positive he was going crazy. It would make sense after all the crap he's been through. Suddenly he paused and sniffed again. Oregano, chicken broth, and… he sniffed once more… basil?

Someone was making soup.

A cold shiver went down his spine and his eyes snapped open. Someone was making soup _in his house_! He looked around frantically and saw no one. Where was that smell coming from?! He looked down and saw a bowl of hot soup with a glass of water right by his mattress.

Correction, someone had _already_ made soup in his house.

Vegeta tensed up, though his body hurt like the dickens. He knew for a fact that he hadn't made any soup. He also knew for a fact that both his comrades were in the hospital. He knew no one from town and no one knew him well enough to risk coming inside his house while he was unconscious. He put on his fiercest glare and scanned the room.

"Who's there?!" He demanded, trying to sound as if he weren't still badly injured.

No response from the empty room.

Vegeta's scowl faltered. "There's… no one here." He said. He looked down at the soup. "Then how…" More accurately, _who how where_ and most importantly, _why_? _Who_ would risk his wrath to bring him soup? _How_ would they even get in? _Where_ was this person and _why_ would they care so much to nurse him back to health?! This soup didn't come from a magic soup fairy!

He sniffed the air again and his stomach, traitorous thing that it was, growled in hunger. Vegeta's eyes returned to the steamy bowl of goodness. Curses but it smelled delicious. He hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday morning. But what if it was poisoned? What if it was a trap?

His stomach growled again. Vegeta growled right back at it. He couldn't just eat the stupid soup. He was far too paranoid to do that. Then again, he had the inkling that whoever fixed him soup also fixed him up. Someone who helped him survive wouldn't just poison him right afterward. That was counterintuitive.

Deciding to accept the gift, Vegeta lifted the bowl slowly to his lips with his good hand. He drank the soup in one go. It wasn't bad, but there really wasn't enough to satisfy him. He set the bowl back down and took one more look around the room. His tired mind spun as he lay himself back down on his mattress. He lay there silently for a while until he finally slipped back into sleep.

 ** _The next day…_**

Vegeta awoke to more delicious smells. He turned his head and saw not just two bowls of soup, but also a loaf of bread sitting next to his mattress. His stomach growled even before he mustered the strength to sit up. He'd always been a fast healer, but it was going to take some time to bounce back from this.

He reached over and drank his soup, using the bread to mop up the remnants from the bowl. He sighed, feeling better with some food in his belly. He looked around the room again, noticing perhaps for the first time the mess in the kitchen. He narrowed his eyes at the ingredients sitting on the counter and the pot of soup on the stove. Someone had definitely been using his kitchen to make his food. Had they simply stepped out for a moment? Were they hiding from him on purpose?

"Show yourself!" Vegeta shouted. "I know you're here! There's no use in hiding!"

Silence.

Vegeta set his jaw. He would wait until the person showed themselves. Minutes passed and a sudden hissing sound drew Vegeta's attention to the stove.

He smirked. "Your soup's boiling over!" He called out.

And the ladle suddenly moved. Vegeta's eyes went wide. The soup was being stirred, but nobody was stirring it! That same nobody turned down the heat so that the soup wouldn't boil over.

The ladle stilled. Vegeta rubbed at his eyes. Did that just happen?

"I need more sleep."

 ** _The next day…_**

Vegeta stared intently at the wall, scowling ferociously. More soup had appeared next to his bed. Still no sign of the person making it. Did he really crack his head hard enough to lose his sanity?

No. There had to be a reasonable explanation. Nappa probably hired someone to take care of him when he wasn't around. Overbearing mother hen. Vegeta snorted. This felt exactly like something he would pull. Or maybe it was Raditz trying to set him up with another girl. Hide her in his house, ask her to care for his wounds and form a 'bond'. Nosey overdramatic idiot.

Vegeta no Ouji was not crazy. He just had crazy comrades.

Satisfied that it was one of them behind all this, he fell into a light doze. He wasn't sure when exactly he fell asleep but he was startled awake by a sudden banging on the door.

"Ouji! Open up!"

Vegeta swore softly and tried to scramble over to his bag. Frieza had finally gotten word of the failed ambush. These were probably his men sent to finish the job. He was still too injured to fight and he knew it. Every part of his body, while on the way to healing, painfully protested every movement. His legs still felt like they were made of jelly. His ribs groaned in pain and his collar bone throbbed. If they got inside, he was probably going to die.

The door shuddered violently and Vegeta cursed again. They were going to break down his door. It was still weakened from when Raditz tried bulldozing it down a few days ago. He made it about halfway by army crawling on one arm when the lock on the door broke and three armed gunman charged inside.

The lead gunman pointed his piece at Vegeta and smirked. "Lookee here. The great Prince of the Saiyans reduced to such a state." He spat off to the side. "You're almost not even worth offing."

Vegeta grit his teeth. "Even weakened…" He hauled himself unsteadily to his feet. "… I still far outclass you worthless wastes of humanity."

"You the one who's a worthless waste!" The man sneered. "Look at you! Barely able to stand and still talking smack!"

Vegeta smirked, finally standing completely upright. "I only state the truth." He lifted his good arm and assumed a shaky fighting pose. "Even injured, I will still defeat you easily."

"Ha!" The lead gunman must've had something to prove as he tossed his gun off to the side and shrugged out of his jacket. "I'll take that bet."

The guys behind him lowered their guns and smirked as their leader took a fighting pose and faced Vegeta. They had heard about how powerful this particular merc was. How favored he used to be in Frieza's eyes. Now, staring him down while he was so injured gave them the confidence to beat down the best. They figured this would be a piece of cake.

Vegeta eyed the man's stance. He smirked. It was almost too easy. Well, too easy if he was fully healed. But if he timed it just right…

As the man leapt forward to attack, Vegeta crumpled. As he fell, he kicked up with his leg, catching the man dead in the chin. The man toppled backwards, knocked terribly off balance as his brain was rattled inside his skull. He fell to the floor and Vegeta used his own momentum to whirl around and bring the same leg down in a hard axe blow straight to the man's face. Blood sprayed into the air as the man's nose was well and truly broken.

The man shrieked in pain and scrambled away from Vegeta. The prince was winded so he didn't pursue him immediately. His muscles shook with effort and pain, but he made no sound. He couldn't let them see his weakness. He panted heavily and got to his feet, looking down the barrels of their guns. After their leader's defeat, these men were sure to simply shoot him. Still, it was worth it.

The man held his bloodied nose and finally found his footing. He snatched the gun out of his partner's hand and pointed it right at Vegeta.

"Now you die!"

And then the man was hit by a plate. It shattered over his head. He hit the floor with a thump and was out cold.

The two men stared at their fallen leader. They looked wide eyed to Vegeta. He was just as stunned as they were. They shook themselves and pointed their guns back at Vegeta. Another dish came out of nowhere and hit the wall directly to their left. Both men turned and fired blindly.

There was nobody there.

"W-what's going on?" said one man, shaking in his boots.

More plates flew hither and thither, shattering as they hit the walls around the two would-be killers. They cowered, searching for the source of the plates and failing. Bullets peppered the walls. One or two grazed Vegeta, but he ignored them. Instead, he looked around just as frantically as the thugs. Who was doing this? The person Nappa hired to take care of him? The girl Raditz convinced to make him soup? There was literally no one else in the house!

"Crap man! This place is freaking me out!" The one goon said to the other.

"Let's just kill Ouji and leave!" They turned to face Vegeta.

Suddenly, the door behind them slammed shut. All three men jumped. The lights flickered out. There was a loud FWOOSH as the gas stove erupted up gouts of flame. One of the men screamed and Vegeta stumbled back a little. A deep eerie laugh started from no discernible location. It grew in intensity until it made Vegeta's ears ring.

Then it stopped. It was dead silent for a solid minute.

" _LEAVE._ "

One of the goons wet their pants as the two fled the house. Their leader was left lying unconscious on the floor.

Vegeta looked around the house slowly. That had to be one of the creepiest experiences he'd ever had. He'd experienced creepier, but it was pretty high up there on the strange-o-meter. He put a hand to his head and wobbled slightly. Maybe he was still feverish and this was all a dream. That sounded better. Hallucinations explained everything.

He ran a hand down his arm and hissed when he touched a spot that had been grazed by a stray bullet. Okay, not a dream. He was about to stumble back to bed when a roll of bandages hit him smack in the face.

"Bwah!?" He stumbled back. "Who would dare…?" Still no one in the room except for the unconscious goon. He stared at the bandages. They smelled faintly of strawberries. Suddenly, he felt someone pushing on his chest. He jumped back awkwardly, wide eyed as he still saw no one in the room. He felt the hands pushing on his chest again and he lashed out. His hand glanced off something soft and firm. He heard a gasp and then something smacked him hard across the face. He fell backward, knocked off balance, right onto his mattress.

It hurt a bit and he cursed. "What the heck is going on?!" There was nothing there. Nothing! All his senses told him there was nothing there and yet _something_ had pushed him back and knocked him down on his mattress.

Wait.

Vegeta looked down. His mattress. The force had backed him up and knocked him on his mattress. With a roll of bandages.

His jaw dropped. As he sat there, staring blankly at the empty room, he swore he could hear someone, or something, giggle.

 _ **The next day…** _

Vegeta relaxed on his mattress in the morning sunshine. Peace filled the air as quiet birdsong heralded the day. His body no longer felt like it had been made into pavement. His breathing was even and his posture relaxed.

His house was haunted.

What was he supposed to do about that? Hire an exorcist? He didn't even believe in ghosts. But the events of yesterday were undeniable. There was a legitimate ghost haunting his house. And worse, the ghost was trying to help him! Of all the humiliating things to have ever experienced, Vegeta was sure this had to make his top ten. He didn't need anyone's help! And he certainly didn't need help from a ghost. He just needed to heal and get back to training.

Actually, training sounded really good right about now. Nodding to himself, Vegeta slowly got up from his position and started into his daily workout. He started with sit-ups and crunches, wincing when his ribs protested the movement. He grit his teeth and powered through it. He needed to be ready in case trouble showed up again.

He had just flipped over to start his one armed pushups when something kicked him in the side. He toppled over onto his mattress with a light thud. Instantly he was up again, searching the room for the perpetrator.

Nothing.

The now angry merc growled in annoyance and went back down to finish his pushups. Again a force struck his side and he fell to the mattress.

He leapt up. "Come on!" He shouted at the empty house. "I _have_ to continue my training!"

Something poked him in the ribs and he took a few steps back, startled.

He scowled. "My body is healing just fine! Leave me alone!"

That same force shoved him hard in the chest. He was unprepared for the sudden attack and fell back on his butt.

"Insolent ghost! How dare you try to make me rest! I am no longer injured!" He snarled. "I need to train!"

There was silence and he snorted. He slowly got back to his feet and started towards the door when he met resistance. Namely the previously open door slammed shut and locked of its own accord. He watched as the key was tossed carelessly out the window.

"I swear you're as bad as Raditz!" Vegeta raged. He heard some snickering and swore. The ghost knew he wasn't able to force the door in his current state. He stomped back to his mattress and sat down. No use trying to fight a ghost whose powers were beyond his ken. Still, there were other ways of fighting.

He scowled at the empty room. "The least you could do is make something different for sustenance." He smirked. "That is, if you can manage to make anything besides that dirty dishwater you call soup."

A bowl was chucked at his head. He dodged it easily with that smug smirk stuck on his face. It shattered against the wall.

"You missed me. What happened to your aim? Do try to do better next time."

Another dish flew directly at him. He smoothly evaded the dish and caught it as it whizzed by.

"By the way, the laundry needs done since you seem so keen on doing my housework."

A knife this time. It sliced cleanly into the wall.

"And now you're damaging my home?" He snorted and got to his feet. "Some houseguest _you_ are."

A barrage of cutlery flew from the kitchen nook. He was actually hard pressed to avoid them all. He tested his mobility and flexibility as he dodged knives and spoons. His body was healing nicely indeed. Then came more dishes. He challenged himself to catch them all with one hand. He had actually worked up a sweat with the light calisthenics. Finally a few towels flew through the air. They hit him and fluttered limply to the floor.

Vegeta looked at the carnage of kitchenware around him and grinned. "Thanks for the workout." He said, cocky and smug. "At least you're good for something." He waved at the empty room and moved to the bathroom to shower. As he went, he heard a muffled curse and his smile got wider. One point for Vegeta no Ouji.

But as he was showering, the water went ice cold. "BWAGH!" He leapt out of the tub, chilled to the bone. He slapped a towel around his waist and burst into the main room of the house.

"STUPID GHOST!"

There was laughter all around him and Vegeta swore. No ghost, not even a helpful ghost, was going to make a mockery of him and get away with it. But he had no way of fighting a ghost. How could you punch something incorporeal? He needed some advice. Frankly, there were only two people he tolerated enough to ask.

 ** _The next day…_**

"My house is haunted."

Raditz sprayed beer in a great arc. Nappa likewise choked on his drink. He coughed violently and looked at Vegeta with wide eyes.

"Haunted?!" Vegeta nodded and Nappa's jaw dropped. Then he laughed. "You've taken one too many hits to the head Vegeta."

Vegeta scowled at his comrade. "My head is fine." He muttered testily.

"Are you sure your house is haunted?" Raditz said after cleaning up his mess. "You've never been one to believe in ghosts."

"Believe me, I don't."

"Huh." Raditz gesture to the barman for another drink. "Well think about it then. We've killed a lot of people Vegeta. Any one of them might be after you in the hereafter. Odds are someone might just be following you around to get revenge."

Vegeta grunted. "A benevolent spirit of a person I've killed? I doubt it."

"Wait, benevolent?" Nappa quirked an eyebrow. "It's helping you?"

The short merc scowled harder. "After I gave you two to the hospital I was ambushed going home. I fought off Frieza's men and was bleeding out on the floor. I had neither the strength nor the mind to save myself." He gestured to his steadily healing body now seated at the bar with his other similarly bandaged comrades. "Yet here I am, bandaged and healing."

Raditz shook his head. "You expect me to believe that a ghost saved you? C'mon Vegeta! It's more probable that mother hen over here hired someone to save your sorry self."

Nappa cuffed Raditz over the back of the head. "I didn't hire anyone! Vegeta here is just too good at survival to die like that anyway."

"I assure you, my house is haunted." Vegeta restated. "A few of Frieza's goons showed up a few days ago to finish me off." He smirked. "They tried to beat me down, but as usual they were no match for me." His comrades snorted in mirth and he continued. "But they were still going to shoot me until the ghost intervened."

"Seriously?" Raditz asked. "What'd it do?"

"Plates and cutlery flew at them. The stove burst into flame." Vegeta said nonchalantly. "Door slammed, lights flickered, and then came the laughter."

"Laughter."

Vegeta nodded. "Scared the goons right off." He smirked. "Weaklings wet their pants as they ran."

"So you've got a protective ghost." Raditz mused into his fresh drink. "Neat."

"No, not _neat_." Vegeta's scowl returned. "Between the two of you eating my food and this ghost appearing, I've had no peace! It won't let me train and it barely let me leave the stupid house to come here!"

Nappa, who had remained silent while thinking, frowned as he spoke. "I don't think it's a ghost at all."

Raditz shot a skeptical look at Nappa. "How come? Seems legit to me."

"For one thing, ghosts don't eat." He looked at Vegeta seriously. "I know you're a good cook, but we haven't touched any of your food since we got back from that big job a week ago." He nodded to himself. "I think it's a live person, not some ghost."

Raditz scowled. "Who made you the expert?"

"Since I've actually seen ghosts, I believe I have the best advice." Nappa tapped the side of his nose with a smirk. "You've got a mouse in the house Vegeta. Somebody with enough skill or tech to stay right under your nose without being seen."

Vegeta scowled hard. Someone was making a fool out of him. He put aside his pride for a moment and looked hard at Nappa. "What do you suggest?"

"Well, you're still healing right? Make like you're super tired and pretend to fall asleep. Watch the room carefully and when you see something out of place, throw a blanket over it."

Vegeta's face went blank. Raditz's face was incredulous. "A blanket."

Nappa nodded. "A blanket."

"Just sneak up and throw a blanket over it?" Raditz facepalmed. "There's a ghost in Vegeta's house and you tell him to throw a blanket over it."

"I'm telling you it's _not_ a ghost!" The conversation quickly devolved into an argument between Raditz and Nappa.

Vegeta sighed heavily as the two injured mercs tried to fight it out in the little restaurant.

"Idiots."

 ** _Later that day…_**

Bulma turned from her place at the stove as soon as she heard the door open. She smiled at the healing Vegeta as he grumped inside tiredly. He'd gone to town first thing in the morning, presumably to check on his teammates. Or at least that's what she'd like to think. He didn't seem the type to run away because of a little 'haunting'.

She giggled to herself. The look on his face yesterday was priceless! Now that he thought she was a ghost, she didn't have to hide as much. It made life a whole lot easier. They spent almost the entire day yesterday playing pranks on each other. He irritated her to no end, but somehow she enjoyed herself.

She watched him flop down on his mattress and wondered when she had become so attached to the merc. They hadn't even formally met. Sure he was pretty handsome, but why she did she feel so compelled to help him?

In truth, she had been more than a little scared when those men arrived to kill Vegeta a few days ago. They had muscles, guns, and outnumbered him three to one! She was so sure he was going to die. But when he stood up to them fearlessly like that? She smiled at the memory. Even beat down and injured he still had them whipped!

So when they brought out the guns to shoot him, Bulma felt she had to step in. Playing a ghost was a lot easier than she'd thought it'd be. With her voice changer in hand, she did the whole flying plates and cutlery routine. She was actually surprised at how effective it was. The would-be murderers ran away scared and Vegeta was cowed enough to be pushed around. He was so bewildered and lost looking, it just made her giggle.

She watched him fall asleep there on the mattress. He must've worn himself out. Poor guy. He seemed so alone. Did she feel a connection to him? He surely was stubborn and hardworking. Things she admired in a man. Strength of character aside, he was also dangerous. A bad boy if she ever saw one. Perhaps she had a weakness for them?

Bulma shook the thoughts from her head. It didn't matter. She was almost completely healed from her leg injury. That meant she'd be free to leave the merc's house.

At the thought she almost sighed aloud. She kind of didn't want to leave. It was nice to live invisible to the world for a while. It was also nice to live with someone who didn't expect anything from her, even though he said really irritating things to make her show herself. Just the fact that she could be herself was nice. Even if it meant he didn't really care for her or even know she was really there.

She stirred the soup and fought the lonely feelings inside. Bulma was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Vegeta creeping up behind her. He threw a white blanket over her head and she shrieked.

"Hah!" Vegeta gripped her tightly in a bear hug. Bulma panicked and tried to wrest away from Vegeta. His arms were like iron bars. She struggled as best she could, but couldn't break free from his grip.

Then, in a flash of inspiration, she hit the shrinking button on her watch. Vegeta grunted in surprise as the person shaped thing he was holding shrank down to nothing. He swore loudly. Nappa said it was a person! What kind of person could do that?! Angry, he ripped the blanket away to reveal the small blue gem he'd picked up last week.

Vegeta stared hard at the gem. Things suddenly clicked in his mind. All the strange happenings started when he brought the small stone home. There had to be a connection, especially after what he just witnessed. Slowly he reached down and picked it up, holding it gently between his thumb and forefinger. He scowled at it and brought it close to his nose, sniffing deeply.

Strawberries.

"I knew it." He said.

Bulma, disguised as she was, went pale at his words. He couldn't have figured her out that quickly, could he? Well he _did_ throw a blanket over her. Who does that anyway? He tossed her lightly into the air and she couldn't stop the cry that burst from her lips.

"Alright little _ghost_." He said venomously once he'd caught her. "Show yourself."

Bulma was petrified. He'd found her. What would he do if she revealed herself? Kill her? Kick her out?

Vegeta waited. No response from the blue gem. He scowled. "Fine." He walked over to the window and prepared to pitch the rock as hard as he could out into the woods.

"Don't!"

He stopped. He looked at the small stone in his hand and frowned. "Then you'd better cooperate." He growled.

"… Fine." The stone said. "Just put me down first."

Vegeta set the stone down and waited impatiently. Nappa was right _and_ his idea actually worked. That only happened once in a blue moon. He stared hard at the little stone, willing something to happen. He'd seen enough impossible things that he mentally dared it to surprise him.

Suddenly the stone vanished. In its place stood a gorgeous woman he'd seen before. Blue hair framed a beautiful face. Blue eyes were downcast in shame.

The blue angel.

"You." He breathed, completely and utterly surprised.

Bulma flinched. The jig was up. For real this time. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"H-hello Vegeta."

Suddenly she was pressed up against the wall of the little house, a sharp knife at her throat.

"Who are you?!" Demanded Vegeta in a quiet, dangerous voice.

Bulma swallowed nervously, her blue eyes meeting his dark intense ones. "M-my name is Bulma Briefs."

"Who sent you?"

"N-no one sent me."

The knife was pressed into her neck a bit harder.

"WHO SENT YOU?!" He shouted.

Despite being scared, Bulma felt her anger burn. "NO ONE SENT ME YOU CRAZY MERC!" She shouted back. "Now LET ME GO!"

Something sparkled in Vegeta's eyes. "Why should I?"

"Because if you'd remember, I SAVED YOUR SORRY BUTT! YOU OWE ME!"

"I owe you nothing."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Bulma was really getting into her rant. She didn't even notice when Vegeta removed the knife. "I scare off those IDIOTS who WANTED TO KILL YOU, BANDAGE YOU UP, and THIS IS WHAT I GET!?"

"Your assistance was un-"

"DON'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS UNNECESSARY! You would've _died_ YOU STUPID JERK!"

Vegeta rubbed his temples. "You really are as bad as Raditz." He backed away and looked at her tiredly. "What are you doing here?"

"I SAID I WAS SAaa..." She trailed off. "You… aren't going to kill me?"

Vegeta snorted. "It would be a pointless waste of energy." He gestured her over to the table and chairs. They sat down and Vegeta gave her a pointed look. "Why are you here woman?"

"It's… it's a long story." Vegeta looked disgusted and Bulma snickered, feeling slightly better. "The short version is I ran away from home, joined up with a psycho scientist who tried to kill me…"

"Why did you join him?"

"And… what?"

"If he was psycho, why did you join him?"

"No I… I didn't mean…" Bulma paused to correct herself. "He wasn't psycho when I met him, but he turned out to be a horrible, evil scumbag that wanted to kill me. I escaped with…" Bulma hesitated. He stared hard at her and she inwardly cursed him for being a good listener. "…my boyfriend." Bulma forced. Then she smirked wryly. "Ex-boyfriend actually. He left me to die on the side of the road. That's where you found me."

"The blue gem."

Bulma nodded. "I have a device that can disguise me as anything and shrink me down. I was hiding when you picked me up." Vegeta's eyes hardened and Bulma sighed. "Look Vegeta, I'm sorry I deceived you, but…" She averted her eyes. "… I was injured and had nowhere else to go. You essentially saved my life."

"Why haven't you left?"

Bulma's breath caught in her throat. Why hadn't she left? She swallowed. "I-I was returning the favor. You saved my life, I wanted to save yours."

There was silence. She glanced up at Vegeta and found him looking away, expression unreadable. Her heart started to sink. "I'll leave, if you want me to." She looked away shamefully. "I've done nothing but leech off of you all this time. I understand if you don't want me to…

"It's fine."

Bulma blinked at his interruption. "W-what?"

"I said it's fine." Vegeta wasn't looking at her. "You were in need and used what you had to your advantage."

Bulma's eyes went wide. "You… don't care?"

"Hn."

"You aren't… kicking me out?"

Vegeta grunted. His eyes flicked over to her. "You have nowhere else to go, right?" She nodded and he sighed. "You may remain here."

Her jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "If you don't believe me, you're free to leave."

"No! I… it's just…" Bulma hesitated. "Why let me stay?"

She was surprised to see his cheeks color some as he looked away. "You... kept me alive not knowing who I was. You are alone, trusting me to give you what you need." He closed his eyes, though the blush stayed on his face. "Somehow the idea of betraying that trust sickens me. You may stay."

Bulma blinked. Did this hardened, scary merc actually care? She broke out into a broad smile and got out of her seat to hug Vegeta tightly. "Aww thanks Vegeta! You must really like me!"

Vegeta's face and neck flushed red. "Get off me woman!" He struggled to get out of the hug. "Quit pushing your luck!" Bulma released him with a blush of her own and Vegeta looked away, uncomfortable. "Just… keep doing what you're doing and you can stay."

Bulma beamed at him. "Sure thing Vegeta."

The merc scowled. "But you need cooking lessons." He smirked as she was dumbfounded. "Even as a ghost you could barely pass off that gruel as soup."

Bulma quickly flushed with anger instead of confusing feelings.

"JERK!"

 ** _The next day…_**

Vegeta was relaxing at the table, watching Bulma go about preparing her first non-liquid meal at his house. Apparently her forte lay in mechanics, not culinary endeavors. He smirked as she cussed a blue streak while trying to keep vegetables from burning. She was intriguing. Her temper was a brilliant blaze of fire and she was stunningly beautiful when angry. She was gorgeous even when she _wasn't_ angry.

He shook himself. Those weren't the kind of thoughts he should be entertaining. Vegeta was a loner. No close friends, no weaknesses, that sort of thing. She was only here until both of them were fully recovered. Or so she assured him. He watched her flit about frantically in the kitchen and felt the smirk return. Perhaps being with someone at home wasn't so bad. He'd certainly enjoy her company while she stayed.

There was a banging at the door. "Hey Vegeta! You get rid of your ghost problem?"

Vegeta half turned and regarded the door with disinterest. "What's it to you?" He called out in a bored tone.

The man hesitated on the other side of the door. "I don't know if I wanna come in if you still got that thing hanging around. Go get an exorcist or something."

There was a yelp as another man surely smacked him. "Stop being such a pansy."

Bulma snickered and Vegeta grinned at her impishly. Seconds later the door burst open and Vegeta's fellow mercs stormed the premises.

Raditz held a cross and bottle of holy water out in front of him. "I ain't afraid of no ghost!"

"I told you, it's not a ghost!" Nappa scowled at Raditz angrily. "A ghost can't eat food like a…" He trailed off as his eyes landed on Bulma. His jaw dropped. "Girl."

Raditz rolled his eyes. "Well of course no ghost can eat food like a girl. Girls only eat salads and ghosts don't care about that sort of thing." He looked at Nappa's shocked face and frowned. "What?" He turned and saw Bulma.

He blinked. "Oh."

Vegeta laughed. The two men were more surprised than ever. Their leader only seldom laughed like this. It was a rare sound without malice or sarcasm. He grinned at his comrades and gestured to the lady. "Nappa, Raditz, meet the mouse."

The two mercs gaped at Bulma. She smiled and waved back cheerily. "Hey guys. I'm Bulma."

There was a stretch of silence. Raditz slowly turned to look at Nappa. "Nappa, there's a girl in Vegeta's house." Slowly Nappa nodded and Raditz continued, somewhat awestruck. "And it's a _pretty_ girl."

"HFIL has as well and truly frozen over." Nappa said.

Vegeta growled audibly. "Are you two finished yet?"

Bulma scoffed at him. "Oh come on Vegeta. Lighten up would you?"

He scowled at her, but his scowl turned to a smirk. "Your stir fry's burning."

Bulma cried out in dismay and rushed back to the stove. There was a string of curses as she tried to stop the disaster that was food. Vegeta laughed and she turned on him, throwing anything that came to hand. He dodged all the things, throwing insults back at her. She in turn threw insults back at him until there was a fully fledged shouting war going on. It was quite the scene; complete with smoke courtesy of the failed lunch.

Raditz and Nappa swapped looks. Together they burst out laughing.

"What a pair they make!" Nappa wiped a tear from his eye. "Who's gonna kill the other first?"

"I'd say Bulma," Raditz said between gouts of laughter, "but her aim is terrible!"

He was promptly beamed in the head with a frying pan. He fell flat to the floor with a cry of pain.

"How's THAT for aim YA JERKFACE?!"

Nappa thought he'd die from laughter.

Eventually, the blackened mess nobody called lunch was cleaned up and the four ended up sitting around the table talking over coffee. Nappa and Raditz thanked her for her efforts in saving Vegeta's life. The short merc merely snorted and ignored them. Bulma told them her story and they sympathized more than Vegeta had, though in a different way.

"Wow! What a jerk!" Raditz said vehemently. "That Yamucha guy _seriously_ needs to get his priorities in order if he thinks he can ditch this beautiful woman on the side of the road and forget about her!"

"I know right?!" Bulma agreed. "He's just the type too! Womanizing knucklehead!"

"That's what gets me! You're too much of a catch!" Raditz reached out and took Bulma's hand. "I swear if that was me, I'd have you back in my apartment in a heartbeat!"

"Speaking of womanizing knuckleheads…" Nappa tugged on Raditz's long hair. He let out a yelp of irritation and released Bulma's hand. The old merc chuckled. "Don't get involved with this one here. He won't forget about you, but if you even think the word 'commitment' he'll run for the hills."

Raditz scowled at Nappa. "No I won't."

Nappa rolled his eyes. "I've seen it at least a half a dozen times." He looked at Bulma and winked. "You need someone who won't high tail it out of there at the first sign of danger. Someone strong and of noble lineage…" His eyes drifted over to Vegeta. "Someone who would take care of you and protect you with honor…"

Raditz caught his look and winked slyly. "Oh I know someone exactly like that. He's definitely the strongest guy I know. Dark eyes… Pitch black hair…"

"Enormous widow's peak…"

Vegeta glared a death threat across the table. "Shut _UP_ you idiots!"

The old merc did his best to appear innocent. "What? I'm just saying that she could do better than that foolish ex. You're one hundred, dare I say a million times better than this Yamucha guy ever was. Plus you actually like her."

" _Nappa!_ "

"You know that even if he likes her, he won't just come out and say it." Raditz said to his comrade with a smirk. "I mean, he's got a stick waaaaay too far up his butt to even…"

Vegeta's glare caused his words to shrivel up and die. Yet as soon as he looked away, Raditz continued in amazement. "Good Kami, you're right! He's totally got a thing for Bulma!"

Then came a roar from Vegeta and the table was toppled and coffee flew everywhere. Bulma watched, embarrassed and slightly amused as the still injured mercs started tussling on the floor. She knew they really said those things to incite Vegeta, but the fact that he didn't deny any of them made her blush.

She cleared her throat, interrupting the scuffle. "So, how'd you guys meet? I mean, it's rare that mercs work together so willingly."

Vegeta stood up and dusted himself off. "Who'd ever work willingly with these two?"

Nappa rolled his eyes. "We are all of the same people." He likewise stood up and reset the table. "We're Saiyans from the western wilds."

"Saiyans?"

"An ancient clan of the wilderness. Nomads if you will." He paused, giving a Vegeta a careful look. "We had many people, but because we had no land we were denied a nationality of our own. Then some years ago our king petitioned the world king to become a true nation. It was granted to us."

"Then why are you mercenaries?"

"It's a long story." He sighed heavily, passing a hand over his face. "You see Bulma, when a people as powerful as ours becomes a nation, there are definitely going to be rivals. One nation in particular, the Kold Empire, didn't like the fact that we were acknowledged by the world." He said grimly. "So they attacked us."

Vegeta and Raditz stiffened in memory, both wearing similar expressions of pain and anger as Nappa continued. "Coming into our new land as envoys of peace, they attacked us out of nowhere." He lowered his head to rest between his hands as he spoke. "It was a slaughter. All of our people were hunted down and killed save we here."

Bulma was wide eyed and pale. "How did you survive?"

Nappa hesitated to answer. Vegeta swore softly and left the building. Raditz winced, but didn't follow him. The two men waited until Vegeta was out of earshot before Nappa continued. "Our prince, young as he was, sold himself to the general of Kold's army in a plea for his people." He spoke slowly and gravely. "The general accepted, but it was in vain. Our people were already dead." He met Bulma's horrified eyes. "As far as we know, we are the only survivors."

She gulped. "A-and the prince?"

"He still lives." Nappa turned to look out the open door. "But he carries the weight of his guilt and vengeance."

Bulma put two and two together and her jaw dropped open. "Vegeta's a _prince_?!"

Raditz chuckled dryly. "Yep. Hard to believe huh?" His mirth faded quickly. "Frieza, that scumbag general, trained him to be a living weapon. When he was old enough to go on missions he was sent, along with his bodyguards," he gestured to himself and Nappa, "out into the world. We've been mercenaries ever since."

The blue haired genius sat there for a few moments, absolutely thunderstruck. Then she gathered her thoughts and looked up. "And now Frieza wants to finish you off."

Nappa nodded. "That's right." He allowed a small smile to cross his face. "We've been forced to serve the Kold empire for years. It's about time we started rebelling openly. Frieza finally wizened up to us screwing with his plans."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Well, there's not much we can do right now." He gestured to his own still bandaged body. "But we plan to infiltrate and assassinate Frieza and Kold himself."

Raditz frowned. "Though that's not too likely to happen." He said with a sigh. "They know our faces too well. We'd never get past his security without a firefight."

"We need another person." Nappa said. "Someone skilled enough, brave enough, or at least dumb enough to risk their lives with us."

"No one will help us." The three turned to see Vegeta lingering in the doorway. His face was set, almost as if it was carved from stone. "We have no allies in the world of mercenaries."

"We're too infamous." Raditz cracked a grin at Bulma. "Nobody would partner with us because they know we're Saiyans." He sighed. "If only another Saipan survived."

There was a long silence. Grief filled the room. A quiet sense of defeat came from two of the men. Vegeta, however, was a different story.

"It doesn't matter." Vegeta crossed the room with a dark, determined look in his eyes. "I'd rather die fighting to avenge than in a hospital bemoaning my fate." He stared hard at Nappa. "You said that I am not allowed to die. That is false. I will die defying the murderer of our people!"

His words reached Nappa's sad eyes and hardened them. Raditz straightened his shoulders and stood tall before his prince. Like a fire lit in dry tinder, the grief in the room burned away to firm determination. Bulma knew hope was scarce for these men, but in that moment she believed they would do whatever it took to bring the Kolds down. And then she remembered something.

"Say Nappa, do all Saiyans have dark spiky hair?"

Nappa blinked. "Uh…" He rubbed his own bald head. "Yes. As a matter of fact, they do."

"Mostly." Raditz snickered. He got an elbow in the ribs for his comment.

"And do all Saiyans like to fight like you guys do?" She asked.

"Pretty much." Raditz shrugged. "My dad used to say it was in our blood. I used to scrap all the time with my little brother until…" He trailed off.

Nappa looked at her curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Call it a hunch, but I know a guy." She said with a small smile. "I'm sure he'd like to help."

Vegeta's eyebrows shot up. He picked up what she was laying down. "You mean… you know another Saipan?" The pointy haired prince asked.

"I think so… I mean, he was an orphan. He doesn't know where he came from." Bulma said. "But his adopted grandfather found him just outside the western wilds in an abandoned jeep. He has this crazy black hair and loves martial arts."

Nappa shook his head. "It might be just a coincidence. In all our years we've never found a survivor from that day." He leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I don't think this friend of yours would help us anyway. You don't seem like the type to associate people like us."

"Oh shut up! Who says who I can and can't associate with?" Bulma huffed, irritated.

Raditz snorted with mirth. "Alright Bulma. We'll humor you a bit. What's this guy's name?"

"His name is Goku." Bulma said huffily. "He's really strong and has an appetite to rival Vegeta's." Her look turned thoughtful. "But you know… when he was really little, he said his name was Kakkarot."

Raditz's face went pale and his eyes went wide. "K-Kakkarot?"

"Yeah. Weird name, right? His adopted grandfather changed it when…"

"That was my little brother's name!" The long haired merc interrupted, leaping to his feet. "Are you telling me he survived?!"

Nappa frowned at Bulma. "Are you _sure_ that was his name?!

"Sure I'm sure. I practically grew up with the guy." Bulma said. "He's married now and has a kid."

"Kakkarot is alive!" Raditz shouted. "Sweet Kami my brother lives and has a kid of his own!"

Nappa was stunned. Then he let out a booming laugh. "Well slap me twice and kiss my mother! There might be another Saipan still around!" He slapped his knee. "We might _actually_ be able to do this fool thing!" He grinned at Bulma. "Please tell me you know how to get in contact with him."

Bulma nodded with a similar grin. "I can call him up if you want."

"OF COURSE I want you to call him! My little brother is alive!" Raditz dashed over and lifted Bulma from her seat in a bear hug. He whirled her around ecstatically. "Kami on high you are _literally_ my most favorite person in the world right now!"

Bulma laughed aloud. "Put me down you big hairball!"

The long haired merc acquiesced then looked over at his prince pleadingly. "Vegeta I know you've got this whole loner thing, but you can't let this one go! We've _got_ to keep her around!"

Vegeta scowled at the laughter coming from both Nappa and Bulma. He turned his slightly blushing face away from the group.

"Idiots."

 ** _Later that day…_**

"Hey Goku!" Bulma said cheerily into Nappa's cell phone. "It's Bulma! How are you?"

The mercs could hear an excited babbling on the other end of the phone. Bulma laughed. "It's good to hear from you too. I… No I'm not calling to talk about my dad. There's… Goku _listen_! I just met some guys who used to know you." A pause. "No, like… from before I met you. Like from when you were born."

There was another stretch of silence. It was finally cut by another stream of excited babbling.

Vegeta scowled. "He sounds like an idiot."

"Well no wonder. He's related to this moron after all." Nappa motioned to their long haired companion.

"Hey!" Raditz groused.

Bulma gave them a warning glare, but then smiled. "Yeah they wanna meet you! Are you free to come to…" she frowned, "a wedding? When? … Next week? … Bummer."

Raditz gaped at Bulma. "He already has plans?! Are you serious?!"

The blue genius held up a hand to silence him. "Where's it gonna be? … Ohmygosh that's perfect! We literally live just outside of town. Would the happy couple mind is we crashed the party to visit you?" She listened for a moment. "You think so? I mean… It's Chichi's relative that's getting married after all." They heard laughter on the other side and Bulma grinned. "As long as she thinks it would be okay… Really? Then it's settled! Me and my friends will meet you at the wedding."

Nappa sighed heavily. "I hate weddings."

"Shut UP Nappa!" Raditz hollered at him.

"Oh Goku, it'll be so good to see you!" Bulma grinned. She had really missed her friend. He was one of the only people she thought actually cared about her back at home. "… Yeah I know I should've called sooner." Her happy expression fell a little. "Goku, no offense, but I really don't wanna talk about that. You know how I felt when I left. That hasn't changed." She tried perking up again. "Forget all that. Who's the lucky guy?"

Goku said the name and Bulma went instantly pale. The mercs saw this and were immediately on the alert.

"Oh." Bulma started shaking slightly. "I… wow. That's great." There was a pause. "No… I'm okay. I've just gotta go now. I'll see you in a week, okay?" Another pause. "Yeah. Bye Goku."

Then she hung up the phone. There was a brief stretch of silence.

"Bulma," came Raditz's concerned voice, "are you alright?"

She shook her head and buried her face in her hands. Suddenly she felt strong hands on her shoulders, forcing her to sit in one of the chairs surrounding the little table. Blue teary eyes looked up. Vegeta met them stoically. He ignored her grateful look and went back to his own seat. The three mercs waited in silence as Bulma composed herself.

She took a deep breath and managed a shaky smile. "Goku is coming to a wedding in town next week. He agreed to meet up with you guys there." She shrugged. "Maybe he's Saiyan, maybe he's not, but he's willing to meet you guys and find out."

Nappa nodded. "Alright, but what's the bad news?"

Bulma laughed mirthlessly. "It's Yamucha's wedding."

Nappa and Raditz swore. Vegeta tensed and narrowed his eyes. This was bad. They knew the man had left her for dead on the side of the road two weeks ago. Now he was getting married?

"Sleezebag works _fast_." Nappa muttered.

Raditz turned to Bulma, sympathy in his eyes. "Look Bulma, we appreciate all that you're doing for us. If this is too much for you, you don't have to go." He shook his head angrily. "I know I wouldn't want to see that scumbag again."

Bulma stayed silent. What could she do? Goku wouldn't recognize these guys and if Raditz tried to hug him out of nowhere, there was bound to be a fight. But that meant she'd have to go with them and see Yamucha and his blushing bride and feel heartbroken and maybe start to throw things and make a spectacle of herself because she's a weak little nobody who nobody cares about and…

"Stay here."

Bulma jerked her head up at Vegeta's gruff voice. "What?"

"Stay here." He looked pointedly at her. "He's not worth crying over."

She put a hand to her face, surprised to find tear tracks down her cheeks. She blushed and scrubbed the wetness from her eyes. "No, I'll go. How else will you be able to find Goku?"

"Hey, he's my brother. I'll recognize him in a heartbeat." Raditz boasted. "If you really don't wanna go, you don't have to."

She lifted her head and met Vegeta's eyes. They were not mocking. Instead, those dark orbs challenged her. She felt her confidence return like a flame and said, "No. I _want_ to go." She scowled angrily. "If anything, I'll go just to punch him right in his stupid face."

Vegeta smirked. "That's more like it." Then he looked at Nappa and Raditz. "We need to focus on recovering and training until Kakkarot arrives. Once we've established his identity, we will move on the Kold empire."

The two mercs saluted. "Yes sir!"

 ** _One week later…_**

Bulma pulled the cloak she'd picked up at the store over her shoulders. She tied the cloak in front of her and pulled the hood up to cover her blue hair. She looked in the bathroom mirror and sighed. Hopefully this would be enough to disguise her. She didn't want Yamucha to recognize her if she could help it.

She turned and looked to Vegeta. He was gearing himself up with various weapons. In jeans and a tight black t-shirt, he looked very nice. Bulma fought down a blush as she watched him strap a knife to his boot, concealed under the leg of his pants. He was going with her. He would protect her is things got tense, she was sure of it. Bulma smiled to herself and turned back to the mirror, pulling out her makeup kit. The past week spent in the surly man's company had been fantastic. They got along well. True, they fought like cats and dogs, but there was never any real malice behind their fights. Each had gone to bed each night with a smile on their faces.

Plus the merc didn't make her cook anymore.

Bulma sighed. Vegeta was great company, but what did that mean? She applied her makeup carefully, considering things. Did she want to start a relationship with him or something? She grimaced slightly. No, she'd wait some. She liked him for sure, but didn't want to be like Yamucha who only waited a week or two to fall in love with someone else and get married. Her hand shook slightly as she applied mascara. What a jerk.

"Woman."

Bulma turned to see Vegeta staring at her. "I have a name you know." She replied testily. The thought of Yamucha soured her mood.

"You are a woman, so I will call you as such." He smirked and she stuck out her tongue at him. "Are you ready to go?"

"Almost." She said as she turned back to the mirror. "I've just got to calm down is all."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're scared to see him."

"I'm not scared!" Bulma whirled on him, scowling. "I just don't want to see that idiot get married to another woman!" She looked away. "It's hard you know? I thought we were really in love. That we'd get married someday."

Vegeta snorted. "If he truly cared for you, he wouldn't have left you like he did." He turned from the bathroom door and walked to the little kitchenette. "Drink something. It will calm your nerves."

Bulma followed him slowly. Maybe he was right. Maybe Yamucha wouldn't recognize her. If he did, maybe he wouldn't care. He didn't seem to care that day all those weeks ago. Vegeta handed her a cup of coffee and she smiled. That's right. She was going to meet up with Goku and get help for this man who helped her. The man who cared.

Vegeta looked at her and narrowed his eyes. "Feeling better?"

Bulma blushed and looked away. She'd been staring again. "Y-yeah." She sipped the coffee and really did feel better. Sure it would be tough seeing Yamucha again, but she had backup this time. She grinned at nothing in particular and chugged back the coffee. Her hood fell from her head with the motion. She finished the coffee and smiled at Vegeta. "Thanks. I needed that."

Vegeta had to remind himself to keep breathing. Kami she was beautiful. He forced himself to take the empty mug over to the sink. This was bad. He was growing too attached to the woman. Bulma was working her way further and further into his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to rage and curse and throw her out, but couldn't find it in himself to do so.

He liked her. A lot. While he wanted to deny it, it would do him no good to act like a coward. Something needed to be done. She would probably leave after introducing him to Kakkarot. But that was no good. For some reason or another he wanted her to stay. She was one of the only people he found he could trust. He wanted her to stay.

Vegeta turned to her and looked at her soberly. She was ready to go. This could be the last time they were together. Who knew what the day would bring? He had to ask her. It was now or never. He took a deep breath.

"Bulma."

The blue haired beauty turned around suddenly, eyes wide. Vegeta never used her name. She saw the intense look on his face and swallowed nervously.

"Yes Vegeta?"

Vegeta looked away, crossing his arms as if he was irritated. "I don't know what you are planning on doing henceforth, but this place will always be open to you."

Bulma was thrown a little bit. Was he repeating himself? "Uh…"

"You can stay here as long as you like." The merc growled. He turned fully then, showing her his back. "What I mean is… I want you to stay."

Bulma blinked. Then warmth spread from the top of her head to the bottoms of her feet. She beamed at the back of Vegeta's head, positive the merc was blushing hotter than a house fire. He wanted her to stay. He really wanted her to stay. He cared for her. The thought made her happy. It must've taken a lot for the reclusive merc to say that. She'd accept, but first she'd tease him some.

"Thank you Vegeta. I'd love to stay but," Bulma said slyly, sneaking up behind him, "I'll have to think about it."

"Hn." Vegeta grunted. "What is there to think about?"

"Well, I don't want to be moving in with a man I hardly know. I mean, I _am_ a beautiful, single, intelligent woman. I'm gonna want options." And she ran a finger up Vegeta's spine.

Vegeta startled violently. He spun about and Bulma was pleased to see his face really was redder than a fire truck. "WOMAN!"

Bulma giggled and fled the house.

 ** _Later that day…_**

The three mercs formed a kind of protective barrier around Bulma as they wove through the crowds. They met up just prior to entering the town. The two other mercs winked slyly to each other when they saw Bulma's good mood and Vegeta's blush, but joined them without any comment. The group moved slowly towards the church/reception hall in the center of town.

Bulma felt her nerves return, but kept alert, trying to spot Goku in the crush of people. They further they went, the more likely it was that she'd see Yamucha. The mercs were on high alert, easily plowing through the crowds. It was almost like the people were afraid of them. They weren't _that_ notorious were they?

They abruptly broke free from the general crush and found the reception area. On the one side, buffet tables were lined end to end. On the other, the wedding party sat eating and laughing happily.

Bulma saw this all in the space of a single breath. She saw Yamucha dressed in a black tuxedo, eating and laughing with his bride. She was a beautiful brunet all dressed in flowing white. Probably an airhead by the way she was laughing. A little pampered daddy's girl who simpered and sighed into the hearts of anyone who she met. Some little tart who had stolen her boyfriend away from her and…

The blue haired genius was torn from her thoughts as Vegeta grabbed her by the shoulders. Her wide, startled, blue eyes looked into his stern dark ones.

"He does not deserve you." He said, voice low. "Do not give him the consideration he does not deserve."

Bulma's voice shook. "B-but…"

Raditz came beside him, blocking her view of the bridal party. "She's nothing compared to you." He grinned rakishly. "She's not even a 4."

Nappa joined them. "Bulma, if it's too much, we can take you home." He said solemnly. "You didn't come to see that mess."

She looked from merc to merc. Slowly, her face moved into a smile. These were the people who cared. Way more than Yamucha had. "Thanks guys. I'm good." She turned in the direction of the buffet tables. "We'll start looking over there. Goku's appetite will lead him here before long."

In fact, they had barely gotten to the food when a familiar mop of spiky untamable hair appeared. The tall dark haired man beamed at the buffet and quickly filled his plate, stuffing what he couldn't carry into his mouth.

Nappa blinked. "Certainly eats like a Saiyan."

Bulma snickered. "This is nothing. You should see him at an all-you-can-eat restaurant." She waved over at him and hollered. "GOKUUUUU! OVER HERE!"

The man looked up from his plate. His eyes went wide and he swallowed hurriedly. "Bulma?!" He set his plate down carefully and bounded over to Bulma, sweeping her up in a bear hug. "BULMAAAH! You're here!"

"Of course I'm here you big doofus!" Bulma laughed, allowing Goku to swing her about. "Now put me down! These are the guys I wanted you to meet!"

Nappa's jaw worked soundlessly for a moment as they stared at the mysterious man. "He's the spitting image of Bardock." He said quietly to Vegeta. Vegeta just stared at him, torn between the desire to fight him and remaining silent for Bulma's sake. Raditz was plainly dumbstruck.

Goku dropped Bulma and turned cheerily to the three stunned mercs. "Hiya! My name's Goku. Bulma says you know me from way back when?"

Raditz was the first to break free from his shock. "Kakkarot!" He darted forward and gripped the younger man's shoulders tightly. "It's you! Tell me it's really you!"

"Woah!" Goku easily shook off the other's grip. "Take it easy! I don't know if it's me or not!" He looked at each merc in turn. "I've been Goku ever since Grampa Gohan found me in the wilds. I don't know if I'm this Kakkarot or whatever kind of insane thing you think I am."

Nappa snapped out of his stupor. "It's _Saiyan_ , you ingrate." He growled.

"Sorry. I couldn't think of the name." His eyes kept returning to Raditz. He frowned. "You know… you actually look kinda familiar."

"Kakkarot, it's me! Raditz!" Hope poured off Raditz in waves. "C'mon Kakkarot! It's _me_ ya little bedbug!"

"Bedbug?! I'm not a…" He paused. Then Goku's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He looked from Bulma to Raditz and back again. Bulma smiled broadly, hood thrown back from the bear hug Goku caught her in. She nodded and he swallowed thickly. "Ra… Rara?"

"Yes!" The long haired Saiyan opened his arms wide. "I'm your big brother, squirt!"

"No way!" Goku staggered back. "It can't be! I thought that was all a dream!" Then he came nose to nose with his brother and sniffed deeply. Raditz did the same. After a moment both men opened their eyes and grinned.

"BIG BROTHER!" Goku tackled Raditz in a hug.

"LITTLE BROTHER!" Raditz returned the hug just as fiercely.

"Idiots." Vegeta mumbled, unable to keep himself from showing the smallest smirk. The brothers were reunited. It was heartwarming even to the coldest of hearts.

Then Raditz proceeded to give Goku 18 years worth of noogies.

"AAAGH! STOPPIT RADITZ!" Goku cried out.

"I've missed you SO MUCH! This is for not telling me you were alive!" Raditz noogied harder. The group around them laughed as Goku struggled to get free. "Eighteen years Kakkarot! There's so much we have to catch up on!"

"Enough of that." Vegeta spoke tersely, warm fuzzies banished. Raditz released his brother with a cheeky grin. "There are more important things than your stupid sibling rivalry."

"Right. You wanna talk about freezer or whatever his name is." Goku nodded soberly. Then he beamed. "But forget about that for now! You gotta come meet my family!" And he gripped Raditz and tugged him off into the crowd. They were quickly lost to view.

Vegeta facepalmed. Nappa simply chuckled. "He's found a piece of his surviving family. Give him this." The old merc headed off after them. "I'll make sure he doesn't forget why we came."

Vegeta nodded. Then he turned to Bulma. "Woman, we should…"

Bulma was gone. His eyes went wide and he looked frantically from side to side. What happened? Where did she go?! He glanced to the wedding party and saw her familiar blue hair right next to… the weakling who left her.

Vegeta was stunned for a moment. She went to go talk to _him_? He growled vehemently and stalked toward them, warding people away with his angry aura. If the weakling even dared to harm a single hair on her head…

There'd be HFIL to pay.

 ** _Slightly earlier…_**

"B-Bulma?"

Bulma felt prickles run up and down her spine. She knew that voice. She had really hoped that he wouldn't recognize her. Swallowing back the butterflies, she reminded herself that Vegeta, Nappa, Raditz, and Goku were right behind her. Slowly she turned.

"Hi Yamucha."

Yamucha's jaw fell open. "Bulma! You're alive!"

Bulma was confused. "Of course I am alive. Did you think I was dead?"

"That's… that's what my…" Yamucha suddenly looked furious. "Come with me!" He grabbed her wrist and swiftly towed her away from the group.

"Ah! But wait! I…" She looked back. Everyone was watching the brothers hug. She was a little freaked at seeing Yamucha, but she smiled. Things were going right for them. They cared and she was strong enough to be worthy of that care. She took a deep breath and tugged her wrist free from Yamucha's grasp.

"Yamucha! We need to…"

"Lima!" Yamucha shouted at his new wife and gestured angrily at Bulma. "You told me Bulma was dead!"

Lima, the pretty brunet, looked wide eyed at Yamucha. "But I thought she _was_ dead, dearest!" She looked at Bulma. Her eyes narrowed and Bulma immediately saw the dislike, the hatred, the jealousy there. "The police reports came back that way! I told you tha-"

"You lied to me!" Yamucha shouted. "You knew I was in love with Bulma! You _knew_ that I would've gone back for her, but you convinced me to let the police handle it!" He grew angrier. "You told me that she left! That she didn't want me! That she died on the road somewhere! You LIED to me!" He was getting quite worked up.

"Yamucha I didn't…"

"LIAR!"

"YAMUCHA!" Bulma yanked on the back of the scarred man's collar. "Get a GRIP!"

Yamucha stared at Bulma for a second. Then he took a deep breath and grinned. "It really is you. I'm so glad you're alive Bulma." He turned and glared scornfully at his 'wife'. "You deceived me and used me. I don't want anything to do with you!" He ripped off the ring and threw it at her. "Consider this wedding _null and void_!"

The bride was shocked. The wedding party was shocked. The crowd around them was shocked. Bulma herself was shocked. "Wow Yamucha. That was harsh."

"She deserves it." He looked at her and his face softened. "I'm so sorry Bulma. This was a mistake. I was grieving and she took advantage of that. If I had known you were alive I'd…" He shook his head and took her hands up in his own. "Please tell me I haven't screwed things up for us. I still love you Bulma. I never stopped loving you. Please tell me you still want to get married."

Bulma was stunned. She was so convinced that Yamucha ditched her because he didn't care. But he was purposely misled?

Yamucha saw her dismay and dropped to one knee. There was an audible gasp from those around them. "Bulma, will you marry me? Everything is still set up. We can get married right here, right now, today."

"But I…"

"Don't worry about your father." Yamucha smiled winningly. "I know he'll approve. Please, let yourself be happy. I'll do everything in my power to make all your dreams come true. What do you say?"

"I… um…" Bulma looked out at the crowd to buy time. Her eyes flicked among the disbelieving faces. Was this really happening? Could she really get married to Yamucha? She had been wrong. He didn't stop caring; he was lied to and led astray. Marrying him would be an end to all her worries. She'd be taken care of for the rest of her days. She could be happy with Yamucha. Is that what she wanted?

Then she saw Vegeta.

He stormed through the crowd, people scurrying out of his way. He looked ready to murder someone. Then he saw her. His eyes went wide as he took in the scene. The merc was obviously shocked. Then she watched helpless as his eyes went dark and cold. He stood there motionless. Silent as a statue. Her heart clenched in her chest. She wanted to cry out to him. Tell him that this was all a misunderstanding, but was it really? She didn't know what to do. The crowd parted behind him and Goku, Raditz, and Nappa made their appearance.

"Vegeta! Glad we found you. You've gotta come meet Kakkarot's…" Raditz trailed off. He took in the sight before them and turned narrowed eyes to his prince. "What is this?"

Vegeta remained silent. The muscles in his jaw rippled in the effort it took to remain so. Nappa leaned over and said, "It's nothing good."

Goku looked from Vegeta to Bulma and back. He swallowed nervously. "Hey Bulma? What's going on?"

Yamucha finally clued in to the little group behind him. He stood up and turned around. "I just asked her to marry me!" He frowned at the group. "Hey, aren't you those mercs who live outside of town? Bulma, do you know these guys?"

"I…" Bulma started. Vegeta's eyes burned into her and she nodded firmly. "Yes. They saved my life."

Yamucha smiled though his eyes were wary. "Then I owe you a debt of thanks for saving my future bride's life. Please, if there's anything you need…"

"Wait a hot second! _Future bride_?" Raditz's eyes went wide. "You mean to tell me that you still want to marry Bulma? Even after you abandoned her to die on the side of the road and got married to someone else?! What kind of messed up jerkface ARE you!?"

"You have no right to her hand after treating her like that!" Nappa agreed loudly. "She deserves someone worthy! Not some easily swayed, two-timing, pig-faced, son-of-a-hamster!"

"No! It's not like that!" Bulma cried in Yamucha's defense. She didn't miss the darkening of the merc's faces as she did so. "He was misled and lied to! It wasn't his fault that he thought I left him and died!"

"Yeah! I had no idea she survived! I was taken advantage of while I was grieving!" Yamucha defended himself. "I still love her and would do anything for her!"

"Yeah, except when it comes to going out and looking for her despite the police reports!" Raditz spat at him, visibly angry. "Seriously! How gullible can you be?! Did you even care about her that much in the first place?! I bet you-"

" _Enough_!"

The group went quiet at the barked command. Vegeta glared impassively at Bulma, face betraying none of the turmoil in his gut. "We are done here." He nodded to Nappa and Raditz and turned to leave.

Raditz looked aghast at Bulma and Yamucha. "But sir! What about…"

"The woman makes her own choices." Vegeta ground out bitterly. "We've more important things to do." He stopped in front of Goku. "Kakkarot, meet us at the edge of the forest. We'll discuss things from there."

"Ah… Sure, but what about Bulma?" Goku replied. Vegeta ignored his response and set off through the crowd. People parted before him like a shoal of minnows before a shark. Raditz and Nappa swapped a look before hurrying after him. Goku looked from the group to Bulma. He gave her an uneasy shrug and headed in a different direction to find his wife and child.

Bulma was left on her own. Her heart hurt in her chest as she watched the mercs walk away. She wanted to call out to them. She wanted to cry out and tell them to wait. But she didn't. Yamucha was standing right beside her. She felt so conflicted.

What was she _doing_?

She looked at Yamucha and saw his uneasiness vanish with the merc's disappearance. He turned to her, concern on his face. "You okay?" She nodded and he sighed. "Bulma, I can't tell you how sorry I am. It must've been horrible out there all alone for so long. And you put up with those shady guys?" He shook his head. "I've heard some things. They've got blood on their hands. Killers and dirty mercs no doubt." He took her hands in his own. He smiled soft and sure. "But forget about them. We're together now and that's all that matters."

Bulma blinked a few times. Forget the guys who saved her life? Forget Vegeta?! Was he nuts?! Sure, he wasn't the dirtbag she thought he was, but he really wanted to put everything behind them? She couldn't do that even if she tried! She cared about them too much! Bulma was not the same person as she was before. Yes she knew Yamucha still loved her and cared for her, but he still abandoned her. Yes he was lied to and carried away by another woman, but he allowed himself to move on so quickly. He loved her enough to completely ditch that other woman for her, but would he do the same for another woman? Would she be the one he ditched the next time around?

And what about Vegeta? He wanted her to stay. Not marry him, not invent for him, not be a cook or perfect housekeeper for him. He just wanted her around. Vegeta liked her, she was certain of it. And she liked him too.

Kami, why was she struggling with this? The choice was obvious.

She smiled beatifically at the man. "Sorry Yamucha. It's been good to see you, but I've gotta run."

Yamucha blinked. "What?"

"Yeah." She dropped his hands. "I've got loads of things to do. Androids to build, plans to make, kingdoms to conquer, that sort of thing." She grinned up at him. "From the sound of it, you'd think I was turning into a proper villain."

"You're… wha…"

Bulma took pity on poor befuddled Yamucha. "I'm not marrying you Yamucha. I realized that you aren't the right guy for me. I'm sorry that I thought the worst of you when you didn't come back. Just goes to show that I'm not the right girl for you either."

"But Bulma, I love you!" Yamucha pleaded. "You can't just up and leave like that!"

"Yes, I can." She said simply. "I understand things better now. I know you didn't mean to leave me like you did and I forgive you, but I've moved on. I hope you will too." Then she glanced behind them to the bridal table. "But between you and me, you could do _way_ better than Lima as a wife. Pick someone who's not desperate, yeah?"

"B-but…"

"You'll be fine." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for everything. Be seeing ya!" The blue genius winked and trotted off into the crowd. She was lost to view in a matter of seconds.

 ** _Later that day…_**

The three mercs waited at the edge of the forest in silence. Raditz and Nappa kept swapping glances over their enraged leader's head. Bulma did not come with them. Vegeta surely felt betrayed. After all, they didn't have knot-holes for eyes. They saw the way he looked at her. The two men looked at their shortest member and swallowed nervously. They could practically see the dark foreboding aura coming off him. But what could they really do? Their powerful leader wasn't so free with his feelings.

Nappa cleared his throat. "Vegeta…"

Dark eyes filled with loathing snapped to him and he fell silent. The old merc fidgeted under the intense gaze until Vegeta looked back in the direction of the road. He sighed. This was going to be much harder than he thought. There was no talking to Vegeta when he was like this.

But as usual, Raditz couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"This is stupid!" Raditz whirled on his leader. "Just go back and get her! Throw her over your shoulder and haul her back here!" Vegeta's glare made him hesitate for a split second, but he plowed on regardless. "That fool doesn't deserve her and you know it! And don't you give me guff about how she's made her own choice! We were supposed to protect her from crap like that!"

"Raditz…" Nappa said in warning.

"Oh _shut up_ Nappa! I know you're thinking the exact same thing!" Raditz growled. "What gets me is that she's supposed to be this super genius or something! How could she have gone back to that jerk after all that?! How could she abandon us after all we've done for her?!"

"Raditz!" Nappa's warning increased in volume, but the long haired man paid it no mind.

"I mean, she _liked_ you Vegeta! You saved her life! She saved _your_ life! She should've come with us instead of going to talk with that idiot and now what?! Did you even tell her that you love-"

"Raditz." Vegeta grit out. "Shut. Up."

Raditz blinked. Then he scowled. "No. I won't shut up. I'm not afraid of telling you how it is! You're the coward who didn't tell Bul-"

The long haired merc was slammed into a tree. He didn't have time to wince when another punch came toward him like a thunderbolt. His eyes went wide and he ducked just in time. There was a cracking noise as the blow hit the wood and the tree snapped in half. Raditz fell back on his rump in awe as the tree crashed to the ground.

"I'm no coward!" Vegeta spat. He reached down and hauled Raditz up by his collar. "How _dare_ you mock me?! Defeating Frieza is the only thing that matters! The woman means nothing!" He released Raditz viciously, sending him falling flat on his back. "She made her choice! She has no obligation to us! We don't need her! _I_ don't need her! She went back to that weakling and that is the end of it! Bulma is _gone_!"

"Hey guys!"

The three mercs froze. As one, they spun around to see Bulma standing behind them. She held takeout in one hand and a pack slung over one shoulder. "I had to stop to get some supplies. We were running out of bandages back at the house." She held up the takeout. "Also I figured you guys might get hungry waiting for Goku. I'm sure Chichi is keeping him late."

The mercs kept silent, so Bulma kept on talking. "Also Vegeta, you just punched a tree in half. How is your hand not broken and bleeding?"

Vegeta straightened and schooled his features back into that cold impersonal mask Nappa and Raditz had seen on countless occasions.

"Woman, what are you doing here?"

"Helping plan the raid on the Kold empire of course." Bulma rolled her eyes. "What are _you_ doing here Vegeta? Apart from some lumberjacking I mean."

"Don't you have a wedding to attend?" Sneered Vegeta. "You know. The one with the weakling you so honorably told us had been misled about your demise?"

"Wow, jealous much?" She looked at Nappa with a longsuffering sigh. "Vindictive little troll isn't he?"

Nappa chuckled a little. "You said it, not me."

"Tch." Vegeta crossed his arms and turned away. "If you are only here to volley insults, prepare to be sorely disappointed. We are here to speak with Kakkarot. Not to bandy words with wenches."

"Seriously? I come out here to explain myself and that's the response I get?!" Vegeta ignored her and Bulma's eye twitched. "Well this _wench_ has a thing or two to say to you mister _vertically_ _challenged_!" Vegeta twitched and Bulma grinned. "That's right ya midget! I've got a bone to pick with you! You think that I ditched you to hook up with Yamucha? You idiot! Who in their right mind would stay with a guy like that? Give me a little credit!"

Raditz smirked from where he sat on the forest floor. "I knew it."

"And how dare you say that I mean nothing to you?! If that's true, then why did you tell me you wanted me to stay?!" Nappa's jaw dropped and Raditz's eyes went wide. "I know you like me at least enough to want me around! Or was that all a lie?! As the last of his people, you'd think that _prince_ Vegeta had enough courtesy to mean what he said!"

While Bulma ranted, Nappa and Raditz watched the back of their prince become even more rigid. Slowly, Nappa backed up to where Raditz was sitting. "I'm gonna sit this one out."

Raditz nodded. "Same." Then he watched Vegeta twitch as Bulma laid into him some more. "Bet he snaps soon."

And sure enough, Vegeta whirled on Bulma in a rage. "SHUT UP you LOUDMOUTHED HARPY!" He roared. "What do you know of keeping an oath?! You switch from one opinion to the other when the mood suits you! How _dare_ you think that I don't mean every word that I say!?"

"So what _are_ you trying to say?!"

"I wanted you to stay!" Vegeta came nose to nose with Bulma. "For some blasted reason, I enjoy your company and want you around! But if you were to leave and go after that weakling I WAS PREPARED TO LET YOU GO!"

"Should've brought popcorn." Raditz whispered to Nappa. The old merc nodded. They'd never seen Vegeta like this before.

"Why _else_ would I have offered my home to you?! Why _else_ would I be speaking to you now instead of breaking your legs and sending you back to where you came from?!" Vegeta gripped Bulma's shoulders. "You are a thorn in my side! You make me wish for more and it _sickens_ me! How DARE you try to come back after choosing to marry that fool?!"

Bulma's mouth, which had dropped open in surprise, closed. "I didn't choose to marry him." She said softly. "I chose to throw my lot in with you guys. That's why I came back." She smiled at his astounded expression. "I want to stay with you ya big dummy. You cared for me more than anyone else in my life has. I don't want to give that up." He released her shoulders and she leaned in with a sly smile. "I've considered my options and decided I want you too."

Vegeta's surprised face immediately turned an interesting shade of red. He turned away from her and crossed his arms in an irritated fashion.

"Th-that doesn't mean anything." He said, trying to shut out the applause and cheers from his comrades. "I am pleased you wish to assist us in our endeavors. You may remain with us." He smirked at her. "As long as you stay out of the kitchen that is."

Bulma laughed and smacked him on the shoulder. "Oh shut up Veg-head."

"Wow Bulma!" Raditz said as he came over from his spot under the trees. "You talked down an angry prince of all Saiyans without bodily harm! I've never seen anyone do that!" He turned and grinned at Nappa. "Told ya she was a keeper."

"Idiots." Vegeta muttered, embarrassed beyond belief.

 ** _Soon…_**

"So that's the plan." Vegeta's sharp eyes pinned each member of their small group in turn. "We'll leave for the border at dawn."

"I don't know… This seems awfully risky." Raditz said hesitantly. "Are you sure about this?"

"Aw c'mon Raditz!" Goku boxed his shoulders playfully. "Don't tell me you're scared!"

"I'm not scared!" Raditz protested. "It's just… so many things could go wrong is all!"

"Well, that's common with any mission." Nappa said solemnly. He turned to Vegeta. "Only one question. If all goes as planned, then we will have a clean shot at Frieza. Are you certain you want to bring Bulma along?"

Vegeta swapped a look with the blue beauty. Her eyes were firm, confident and fierce. He smirked. "She belongs with us. Her input on the facility is invaluable. We'll do this together."

Under the table, Bulma's hand was held firmly in his. She squeezed his hand and smiled at the friends around her.

"Let's go kick Frieza's butt."

 ** _THE END_**


End file.
